September 2004

Star Wars: The Re-Re-Re-Remastered Super Special DVD Edition
Submitted Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 5:43:14 PM by Klaitu

You saw the originals when they first came out. Then you saw the originals again when they came out with the special edition, and now, you can have your very own copy of a special edition of the special edition.

So, I figured I'd give you a run down of all the differences you'll notice between the originals and the new 2004 DVD edition. First, though, the general stuff.

If you own Episode 1 or 2 on DVD, you know what these DVD menus are like. They randomly choose one of three locations on each disc. These original trilogy menus are every bit as fun as the new trilogy menus. Unlike the new Trilogy DVD's, the original trilogy does not sport a special feature disc for each movie. Instead, you get a single special feature disc for all three of them. Each feature disc includes a commentary track with George Lucas and Carrie Fisher, however.

A New Hope

Episode 4 recieved the most changes during the 1997 Special Edition. Mos Eisley is now mostly CGI, and you've got all sorts of CGI alien critters running around town. There are also inserted CGI scenes as the Millenium Falcon is taking off from Tattooine, and then again during the final fight sequence at the Death Star.

Changes:
- Lots of CGI pickup shots, especially regarding spaceships
- Some CGI shots establishing Mos Eisley
- Jawamobile now fully CGI
- Jabba the Hutt scene remains from the 1997 version, but Jabba looks about 50 billion times better. Han still steps on his tail.
- Greedo still fires first, unfortunately
- Luke's lightsaber is now inconsistantly blue, then turns green, then blue again.. sometimes changing during the same scene.
- Explosion ring added to the Death Star explosion
- Readouts on the Tractor Beam controls when Obi-Wan disables them are now in Aurabesh instead of being in english. The Special Edition didn't fix this, but the DVD version has

The Empire Strikes Back

Episode 5 has less "tweaking" than 4, but more tweaking than 6. The major change is during the Emperor's hologram scene, in which he tells Darth Vader to capture Luke. Originally, the emperor was played by an old woman with monkey eyes superimposed on her face.. and of course, the voice was modified. Now, the emperor is played by the same guy who plays him in Episode 6 (and the new trilogy). This change is new to the DVD version.

Changes:
- Snow Speeder scenes have been cleaned up considerably
- The asteroids are now brownish again.. in the 1997 version they were made grey
- The Emperor hologram is now played by Ian McDiarmid
- The Emperor's dialogue during the hologram scene is completely different from the original version. The new dialogue fits with the new trilogy better.
- Cloud City now has a lot more windows, which are CGI. Cloud city also now has an exterior and appears when not in sunset.
- CGI insert scenes of the Millenum Falcon flying through Cloud City
- Boba Fett's voice replaced by the Jango Fett guy from the New Trilogy (since Boba is Jango's Clone)

Return of the Jedi

Episode 6 sports the least changes, but the most noticable ones. The "force version" of Anakin Skywalker at the very end of the film (the last shot of the film, even) is played by Hayden Christensen. The bald, messed up version of Anakin wearing the Darth Vader suit is the original actor.

Changes:
- Hayden Christensen "Force Anakin"
- The fireworks scene on Endor (with the ewoks celebrating) is expanded to show other planets.. namely Bespin, Naboo, Tattooine, and Coruscant. The 1997 edition had this, minus Naboo.
- The Ewoks now celebrate their victory with a completely different song that dosen't match their movements. It's the same song as the 1997 version.
- CGI Explosion ring around the Death Star
- CGI insert ecene with Jabba's Sail Barge floating over the sands of Tattooine
- The Sarlaac now has CGI tentacles and a CGI mouth

re-re-re-re-remastering

It's hard to imagine any film, or series of films, that have been remastered more times than Star Wars has. That's not neccessarily a bad thing, except that you keep having to buy new versions of movies that you already own (or borrow them from a friend). The new DVD version has been remastered yet again, and the remastering itself is wonderfully done. It even surpasses the remastering of the 1997 Special Edition. If it weren't for the dated 70's and 80's hair, and the stop-motion tauntauns, you might just be able to forget that the movie was filmed over 20 years ago.. but don't take my word for it: (Click on the picture for a larger version)

Original Version


1997 Special Edition Version



2004 DVD Release version

Sega Saturn
Submitted Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 3:14:28 PM by Klaitu

Years ago, I bought a Sega Saturn before I bought a Playstation. I was solidly convinced that Saturn would be the console of the future. Turns out I was wrong about that.. but I must have psychically known that Saturn had a redeeming quality.

I was right, Sega Saturn had one quality that made it superior to all other consoles before or since. His name is SEGATA SANSHIRO!

Segata Sanshiro was the kind of man who would hunt you down and kick your ass if you weren't playing Sega's quality video games. He has won soccer games for the country, exploded a man with his bare hands, taken out an entire disco, saved people from a burning building, and won the olympic speed skating championship... With the power of Sega games!

The Prince & Me
Submitted Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 12:53:44 AM by Klaitu

What is it with me and these like little teenygirl romance movies I keep watching? This time I got sucked in my the star.. Julia Stiles. You probably don't remember her, but she guest starred on Ghost Writer, and I remembered her! I don't know why.

The hook of this movie is interesting, and that's rare among low-budget romantic comedies with nobody actors. The movie is of the Dutch prince coming to Wisconsin of all places and going to college. At least, it starts that way. Comparison between Dutch royalty and farmgirl college student is rarely done in films, as you might imagine.

See, the restless prince sees an ad for "girls gone wild" in Wisconsin, so he decides to go to college there. There, he meets Stiles, who is a no-nonsense hardcore power-career girl. Using his dutch mind-control powers, he melts her evil stoneclad heart and turns her into an actual woman. Once she finds out he's a prince, things get all fairy-tale like.

This movie is really quite interesting up until the final 20 or so minutes of the film, where it does a complete 180 and turns into a girl power flick.

Yep, that's right. The girl dumps the Crown Prince because she wants to return to Wisconsin, become a doctor, and help children in third world countries. Of course, the film never explains why she can't marry the prince and still do all those things and what's more do them better because she will be the Queen of Denmark which affords, among other things, money with which to do things.

Nevermind the fact that she is in love with the prince, he is in love with her, and the fact that the marriage solves both of their problems. The end is so illogically controverted that you can't help but think that the writer is attempting to sell you a particular belief.. namely that a career woman s superior to a married woman, even one married to a prince.

In fact, the ending of this movie was changed in focus tests. The final version features about 40 seconds at the end where the prince magically appears at her graduation and tells her that he'll wait for her, their fortune is left purposefully ambiguous.

I don't know what the writer's agenda was, or even if there was one, but the atrocious ending virtually cancelled out every positive aspect of the film.

Overall Score: 4 out of 10

This might very well have been a 6 or 7 if not for that. Worth seeing for free, I wouldn't pay for it.

Japanese Still Insane
Submitted Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 12:26:34 AM by Klaitu

Oh wow, I've been looking at engrish.com for like 3 or 4 hours now, and then I came across something even more spectacular.. It's called CATPRIN - Tailor for cats. What do they do? They sell cat clothes.. and cat costumes. Now you can dress your cat up like a chicken or a frog.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure these people never owned a cat before. Regardless, here is what their site claims:

CATPRIN, a tailor for cats. Ever imagined dressing up your lovely cat into a fabulous beauty? You don't have to dress her everyday, in fact she might not feel comfortable with a dress on for days. Just dress her up only on special occasions like her birthday, takes a photo and that should leave you lots of memories and fantasies.

I don't know about you, but I'm totally on board with this concept.. let's see what they have!


Oh yeah, this one's nice. I never thought about dressing my cat up as a different kind of cat, but that works!


Yeah, here's a little formal outfit. That's special!


It's almost enough to make you wonder how exactly they got it on the cat in the first place, let alone got a picture of it.

Anyways, if you feel a pressing need to dress your cat up in something, check out CATPRIN - Tailor for Cats Because, let's face it.. if you're looking for cat clothes, Japan is the place to go.

I need this Shirt!
Submitted Tuesday, September 28, 2004 - 10:58:56 PM by Klaitu

I may not know fashion, but I know an awesome T-shirt when I see one!

Do you like Conan?
Submitted Monday, September 27, 2004 - 2:10:40 PM by Klaitu

Not the Barbarian. Not the Adventurer. Not the destroyer.

Conan the O'Brien.

NBC announced Monday that Conan O'Brien will take over from Jay Leno as host of the "Tonight" show. But he'll have time to write his jokes -- the planned succession won't happen until 2009.

The announcement solves a delicate problem for NBC, which realized O'Brien was getting antsy in his "Late Night" time slot (12:35 a.m. Eastern) and wanted to keep him from jumping to another network.

Leno planned to make the announcement on Monday's edition of "Tonight," a special celebration of the talk show's 50th anniversary.

"In 2009, I'll be 59 years old and will have had this dream job for 17 years," Leno said. "When I signed my new contract, I felt that the timing was right to plan for my successor and there is no one more qualified than Conan."

"Plus, I promised Mavis I would take her out for dinner before I turned 60," the notoriously workaholic Leno said about his wife.

Leno took over from Johnny Carson on "Tonight" in 1992 and after a few years of trailing the man he beat out for the job in the ratings -- David Letterman -- he passed the CBS star and has been dominant in the time slot.

An unknown at the time, O'Brien had the thankless job of taking over from Letterman on "Late Night," and he was nearly fired after several weeks of painful shows. But he recovered and has been a critical and commercial success.

But O'Brien has openly talked about wanting to move on and, in the late-night world, that means an earlier time slot.

X-Men: Legends
Submitted Sunday, September 26, 2004 - 12:29:58 PM by Klaitu

Picked up X-men Legends on Friday, and I'm still playing it. It's a really fun game, but a lot more fun when you play it with other people.

The plot of Legends is pretty convoluted and winding, just as the comic plots usually are. I haven't beat it yet, so let's just say that that pesky Magneto is at it once again.

You'll find Legends in the RPG section of your local gaming store, but don't let that fool you, Legends is a beatemup game. It just happens to use rolls and math calculations to determine damage. You can also level up your characters, but this is pretty much automatic, so what you've got here is a beatemup with depth.

The game is in third person overhead perspective, much like Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance in that regard.

Voice acting is done brilliantly, the voices fit the characters perfectly. Patrick Stewart lends his talent as Professor X, even. Storm is much less annoying than her movie and cartoon counterparts. The only real letdowns are Magneto and Gambit, whose voices are from big-time voice actors, and you've heard them both before constantly.

The drawback of Legends is the quality in which is is produced. The game itself looks great and plays well, but the cutscenes are total and complete crap. It's not that theyre poorly designed, it just looks like they were overcompressed. The cutscenes in Tomb Raider 1 looked better. The cutscenes do, however, get the job done.

This game is worthy of a rental, for sure. If you've got buddies who are x-men fans, you're going to get a lot more out of it than a single player.

Overall Score: 7 of 10

Special K's Most Hot Chicks!
Submitted Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 3:47:28 PM by Klaitu

Yeah, I'm in a beauty-tips sort of mood today. So, I know you guys are out there reading Special K, and you're asking yourself "What exactly does a hot chick look like, anyway?". Well, you've come to the right place!

First, some ground rules:

1. The chick must be consistantly hot. Terri Hatcher, for instance, was hot at one time, but then ceased being hot. She is therefore disqualified.

2. The Top Twenty Hottest Chicks are not ranked. The order they appear in means nothing, because you can't compare the Mona Lisa with the Sistene Chapel.. what would be the point of that? You can, however, compare the Sistene Chapel with "Dogs Playing Poker", because one is good, and the other is not.

3. These are only the top twenty hottest chicks that I know about, so obviously you married guys out there, I don't know about your chicks, so I couldn't possibly list them.

4. The top twenty hottest chicks is based on looks and attitude only. Some of these chicks might perform animal sacrifices to Baal, may be scientologists, or otherwise be freaky and/or strange. This isn't "top twenty hot chicks who are also not freaks".

5. I'm going to try to use face-shots only, but lots of people don't tend to look at hot chicks for their faces, so if you see one of the Hot chicks in like a bikini or something, it's only because I couldn't find a decent head shot.

So, without further delay, onto the show!

• Jennifer Connelly
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: The Hulk, The Rocketeer, A Beautiful Mind
  
  
  
• Sofia Vergara
  Nationality: Columbia, lives in Mexico
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Nowhere, but maybe "Chasing Papi"
  
  
  
• Rachael Leigh Cook
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Brain on Drugs Commercial, Josie and the Pussycats
  
  
  
• Goldberry
  Nationality: Canada
  Profession: Retail / Student / Production
  You'd know her from: Her Web Log, Ultima Online, Final Fantasy 11
  
  
  
• Samantha Mathis
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Pump up the Volume, Broken Arrow, American Psycho
  
  
  
• Soleil Moon Frye
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress / Producer
  You'd know her from: Punky Brewster, Sabrina the Teenage Witch
  
  
  
• Claudia Black
  Nationality: Austrailia
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Farscape, Stargate SG-1
  
  
  
• Catherine Bell
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Bruce Almighty, Death Becomes Her, JAG
  
  
  
• Catherine Zeta-Jones
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: The Mask of Zorro, Entrapment, Chicago
  
  
  
• Demi Moore
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Ghost, G.I. jane
  
  
  
• Elizabeth Hurley
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Austin Powers International Man of Mystery, Young Indiana Jones Chronicles
  
  
  
• Sarah Silverman
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: School of Rock, Star Trek Voyager, There's Something About Mary
  
  
  
• Lexa Doig
  Nationality: Canada
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda
  
  
  
• Camilla Scott
  Nationality: Canada
  Profession: Actress/Talk Show Host
  You'd know her from: Due South, Camilla Scott Show
  
  
  
• Leah Remini
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Gabriel Knight, Saved by the Bell, King of Queens
  
  
  
• Melina Kanakaredes
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Providence, Due South, CSI: New York
  
  
  
• Carrie-Anne Moss
  Nationality: Canada
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: The Matrix, Memento, Red Planet, Due South
  
  
  
• Maitland Ward
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Boy Meets World, White Chicks (ugh)
  
  
  
• Jane Seymour
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman
  
  
  
• Patricia Heaton
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actress
  You'd know her from: Everybody Loves Raymond
  
  

Beware the Lesbian Haircut
Submitted Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 1:33:23 PM by Klaitu

This dosen't so much apply now as it used to back in the 90's, but any of you womenfolk reading this should be advised: avoid the lesbian coiffeur at all costs.

It dosen't matter if you are fat, thin, cute, or ugly. Lesbian hair will always make you look worse than you already do. In fact, you would do better to shave your hair off completely than to lesboize your head.

But, I digress. Perhaps you need proof? Take for example this subject:

This is Camilla Scott, a former Canadian Talk show host. A woman with this hair can instill fear in the hearts of mortal men, and cause vomiting.. however, the most frightening thing in this instance is what she looked like before the unfortunate haircut:



Now, I ask you.. was there any need to chop off all that wond'rous hair? Was there a reason that poor Camilla Scott sacrificed her beautiful hair in favor of crappy hair? I can only assume it was temporary insanity, or maybe she just dosen't have any taste. Either way, she fixed the problem by growing out her hair again, but by that time the damage was done.

Hey, that's probably why her show got cancelled. Yeah, her show sucked, but as above.. Lesbo hair can make any situation worse than it is already.

So, ladies, don't throw it all away. Just say no to Lesbian haircuts.

My Sister, The Hooligan
Submitted Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 9:43:28 PM by Klaitu

Did you know that Wal-Mart won't allow you to bring a camera into their stores? Well, you can buy a camera there, but you can't bring one in and take pictures. Don't really know why that is, but my sister had other ideas.

Take THAT, Wal-Mart! Zest for all!


Apparently this is some kind of rodeo..


Suprising as it may seem, this is my Sister's boss.

13 Going On 30
Submitted Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 3:31:20 PM by Klaitu

It's Big only with a girl. Okay, well not exactly. There are other elements of this movie that readily complicate the plot and lead to its mediocrity.

The film begins in 1987. Jenna Rink is a wannabe cool chick, she wants to be part of the in-crowd of girls. Her only buddy, Matt is a photography geek who knows that she's already better than the popular crowd.

An unfortunate encounter with some "magic dust" results in her wish to be 30 coming true. This is where the movie differs from Big, as Jenna just isn't grown up, she's just forgotten the last 17 years of her life.

Turns out she was a real mean chick in those past 17 years. If you watch the movie, you'll be amazed with how long it takes her to figure out that her past was not what she intended it to be, which led to a future that she didn't want, either.

Of course, she dosen't pick up on this until her buddy the geek photographer marries another chick instead of her. It's a good thing he kept that magic dust in his closet for 17 years, isn't it?

I had two main problems with this film:

1. The plot compounds the dilemna on the main character. Not only has she gone from prepubescent to 30 years old overnight, she's also lost 17 years of her life, which means her mannerisms, sense of style, and understanding of events would be based in 1987. The movie does attempt to show this at the very beginning, but then gives up. She just automatically knows how to operate cell phones and computers and such from then on.

On top of this, you have Matt. She locates him in the future, and he readily accepts the story with the magic dust and the wishing and all that. Would you accept a story that someone told you.. that they wished to be 17 years older and in the future, and by the way that nasty chick no longer exists? I wouldn't.

2. The soundtrack is crap, with the notable exception of Pat Benatar, who is widely overlooked in movie soundtracks. That nasty "Why can't I? (breathe whenever I think about you)" song rears its ugly head once again.

It is entirely possible that my perspective on this movie is not commonplace, because of my affinity for sci-fi, time travel and age progression are not uncommon subjects for me to encounter. For me, this movie was utterly predictable. This movie would be great for little girls, and people who don't ordinarily encounter time travel plots.

That being said, this movie wasn't bad, it was just sort of blah. It was fun, but I expected more out of it. Better Luck next time, Jennifer Garner.

Overall Score: 6 of 10

Steak n Shake
Submitted Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 3:01:32 PM by Klaitu

It's a restaurant. Some of you readers out there probably take these for granted, especially those of you on the east side of the country. You've got Steak n Shakes up the wahzoo. In Oklahoma though, there's only one.. and it's new.

For years, I've heard the wonders of Steak n Shake from my parents. I've been told of the amazing flavors of restaurants far away.. such as Jack in the Box and White Castle. Now, I get to experience the "exotic flavor" of Steak n Shake.

What exactly is Steak n Shake? Well, it's sort of like a cross between Burger King and IHOP. Decor is 50's diner style, and you're seated by a hostess and waited on by a server. Meals come on china, as akin to IHOP.

The food is decent, I ordered the staple of any good restaurant: The Double Bacon Cheeseburger with fries. If a burger joint can't serve up a good one of those, they've got problems.

The burger was decent, the crown jewel of it being the bacon. They used smoked bacon, and it was fried (not baked). That, and it was actually bacon (unlike *SOME* places).

The fries were blah. They weren't bad, but they weren't anything special. I can produce fries of their quality at home easily enough. The oil they used for the fries seemed heavier than that of most other places. If I'm going to eat fries from grease, I need some flavorful reason to override the health concern from all the grease, and these fries just don't do it.

For my drink, I got a root beer, which was stupid considering the last word of the title.. SHAKE. My parents got shakes, and I tried theirs.. Banana Cream shake, and Mint Chocolate. The Banana one was amazing, the Mint one was good in consistency, but I hate mint anything, so it was basically a toothpaste shake.

Prices are average. My burger, fries, and drink cost about $7.50. Prices are different according to region, of course. This price puts Steak n Shake in the same price range as IHOP, El Chico, TGI Friday's, and Chili's in this region.

Bottom Line: Steak n Shake was good, and I'd eat there again. There is, however, better value at any of those restaurants I listed above. They all give you more meat and more fries for the same price. I don't think Steak n Shake would stay in business long, except that it's right next door to a hospital in Edmond, which is like the Beverly Hills of Oklahoma City. All the Richey Riches live there.

Cellphone Jamming
Submitted Wednesday, September 22, 2004 - 2:41:55 PM by Klaitu

I saw an interesting article about Mexico churches jamming cell phones, as they would ring during church and disrupt services. You can check out that article here. Apparently this practice is illegal in Mexico, as well as here in the US.

If only it weren't illegal, what good could these babies do in a movie theater? How many times has a good film been disrupted by cell phones? How hard is it to push the power button, or at least set to vibrate?

Now if only they could invent baby jammers.. at least in R rated movies where a baby has no business to be anyway.

Telephone Ghost
Submitted Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 3:58:01 PM by Klaitu

This is a strange one, check this out:

Dane Squires' friends and family all gathered at a Toronto funeral home Thursday to say goodbye to the retired welder.

As they were loading the body into the hearse to be taken to the crematorium, his daughter Trina was told there was an important phone call waiting for her.

Her father was on the other end, bewildered that he was missing his own funeral.

"She totally, totally lost it," Squires' brother Gilbert said. "She said, 'There's a ghost talking to me on the phone. Please somebody try to make sense out of this because I'm losing my mind.'"

After a homeless man was hit by a commuter train the previous Friday, Squires' sister Diana Branton identified him as her brother.

"The body was badly mutilated," Gilbert Squires told the Canadian Broadcasting Company. "We've been mourning in Newfoundland and in Toronto, everywhere. We're in total shock."

Dane Squires, 48, grew up in Newfoundland, moved to Toronto in the early '90s and had become a drifter in recent years.

"He went to my sister's house and whoever answered the door fainted," said Gilbert Squires, noting his brother didn't become aware of the confusion until he read his own obituary in the newspaper.

Branton, too upset about her brother's death to attend the funeral, explained to him what had happened.

"He wanted to sign the guest book," his sister told the Toronto Globe and Mail. But the pair called the funeral home instead.

"I screamed," Trina Squires told the Globe and Mail. "I felt the weight of shock. I said to my mom, 'Please explain to me what's going on here.'"

The priest calmed her down with the words, "There's been a mistake, but it's a good mistake."

Back at his sister's house, Squires got busy preparing his own wake.

"Well, if I'm the guest of honor at this party," he reasoned, "I might as well crack the first bottle."

Smooth Threads
Submitted Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 3:22:30 PM by Klaitu

I don't have any money, but if I did have some money, I'm pretty sure I'd buy some t-shirts from shopodd.com. I've always been fascinated by stupid t-shirts. Old Navy's been pretty good for the ladies, making promotional t's for places that don't even exist.. but shopodd went even further.

You know, if I had money, Christmas would come early for many people.


This one is for Carson, he likes movies!


This one is for Bran, who memorized Pi out to some crazy number for extra credit once.


I'd give this one to Nero, because he's mexican, and pesos are mexican too.


And this one is for GB, because she's Canadian, just like Trebek!

Anyways, they've got something for everyone, check it out:
http://store.shopodd.com/unisex-tees.html

The Punisher
Submitted Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 2:51:06 PM by Klaitu

Unlike Catwoman, the Punisher was actually good. I was unsure about this movie, as the Punisher has always been a pretty hit and miss comic. I had always felt that Punisher was best used in conjunction with another superhero, much as Daredevil is pretty boring without Spiderman.

The Punisher didn't disappoint. He's basically the Batman of the Marvel universe. Family killed, he wants to bring payback on the people who did it. The Punisher, unlike Batman, is not rich. He dosen't have a talking supercomputer in a cave, and the "Punishermobile" is just a GTO with homemade bulletproof metal shutters. Heck, it dosen't even last through the whole movie.

The best thing about The Punisher in my mind, is that there is no CGI in the entire movie. Stunts are done oldschool style.. when you see that guy get blown up and catch on fire, that's a real guy. When you see that car get rammed and crumpled into a heap, that's a real car.

The lack of expensive CGI perhaps explains the prominent cast. Roy Scheider, Samantha Mathis, kevin Nash, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, John Travolta.. About the only person you haven't heard of before is Tom Jane, the guy who plays The Punisher himself.

The acting in this movie is particularly worthy of note. Tom Jane has an intensity about him, an almost Gibsonesque quality.. he even kinda looks like Mel.. in his Mad Max days.

John Travolta turns in a really good performance as well. He's not as over-the-top as he usually is when playing the villian. He's smooth this time around, and obsessed with the death of his own son, and jealousy toward his wife.

This also marks the second time Samantha Mathis and John Travolta have starred in a movie with the same roles. Samantha Mathis is the love interest to the hero, while Travolta is the antagonist. The other movie was Broken Arrow.

Speaking of Samantha Mathis, she's a wonderful actress who gets overlooked all the time. She's always getting blown up, or killed in the first act.. either that, or she's starring with Christian Slater.

Kevin Nash is particularly frightening as "The Russian", a hitman hired by Travolta. His attire is particularly comical.. he has bleach-dyes hair, and a white shirt with horizontal red stripes. He looks like he stepped off the cover of a crackerjack box.. but darned if that guy dosen't kick Punisher's butt.

Perhaps the downfall of this movie is the unspectacular ending. Usually in a movie like this, the main good guy and the main bad guy have a big fight.. not so in Punisher. This is very accurate to the comic book, and is realistic.. a rich mobster probably wouldn't be be best combat expert.. its sort of a letdown. The movie gives the impression that fighting "The Russian" was much harder than fighting a whole room of guys armed with shotguns.

Still though, this movie is pretty respectable. I'd watch it again just for that Russian fight scene.

Overall Score: 7 of 10

Catwoman
Submitted Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 2:17:30 PM by Klaitu

*sigh* The things I do for Special K. I got tired of writing good reviews.. what movie could I watch which would cause me to write a bad review? Oh yeah, Catwoman. I forgot about that one, so I watched it. Well, I watched most of it anyways. I couldn't take the pain.

Plot? Uh.. Okay, I think there was one, let me think... Oh yeah, Halle Berry wears lots of leather.

Okay, she works for this cosmetics company who has discovered some cosmetic that gives eternal youth.. unless they stop taking the cosmetic, then it makes them look like burn victims. Bummer. Berry finds out about that part, so they kill her.

It sure is a good thing there's a magical cat around to breathe life into her, thus making her Catwoman!

The plot after that gets a little sketchy, probably because I really wasn't paying much attention.. or perhaps because I stopped watching it before the movie was actually finished.

Have you ever been to the fair? I know that's sort of a strange question to ask in the middle of a Catwoman review.. but stick with me here.. At the fair, have you ever been on the ferris wheel? Well, there's a ferris wheel in Catwoman. Apparently it was manufactured by the former soviet union during the Stalin area.

Pop quiz:
The ferris wheel is stalled, as the operatior, what action should you take?

A. Attempt to restart Ferris Wheel
B. Call in a rescue crew to get people off the Ferris Wheel
C. Flail the controls wildly and strip all the gears

Punky Brewster
Submitted Tuesday, September 21, 2004 - 1:06:06 PM by Klaitu

You know, when I was a little kid I used to occasionally watch Punky Brewster. I would have liked to see more of it, but it was on in primetime, up against shows that adults actually watched.. so Punky was a rare treat for me. 20 years later, enter the Punky Brewster DVD set. Carson's wife delivered this little gem for my sister, but HA, I intercepted it!

To be honest, I didn't really remember all that much about Punky. I maybe saw 10 episodes of the show 20 years ago. I do remember that I really liked the show, and that I thought Soleil Moon Frye was totally hawt. (Turns out I was right)

So, I popped in the first DVD and checked out the first season from episode 1 to episode 22. What struck me about the Punky series, is that it is extremely well written. It's even serial in nature, much like Babylon 5 was. Things that happen at the beginning of the series pay off 10 or 12 episodes later. In fact, changes made to the set actually stick from episode to episode. for a sitcom, I find this substantially amazing.

By way of example: During the Christmas episode, Punky recieves a music box. 11 episodes later the same music box is stolen by a homeless kid, who is then admitted to Fenster Hall, which is the orphanage that appeared in the first episode.. and it's the exact same set.

In fact, I haven't been able to find any inconsistancies or plot holes at all in Punky. I find this to be simply amazing, because today there are inconsistancies and plot holes to just about everything on TV.

Speaking of the plot, if you don't know.. Punky Brewster was abandoned by her mother at a supermarket. Eventually, she found an empty apartment with an unlocked window and made it her own. Enter Henry Warnimont, the apartment manager and photographer. Also in the apartment building is Punky's best friend Cheri Johnson who has been sneaking her food. Cheri's grandmother Betti, is Henry's friendly rival, and the two exchange witty banter frequently.

Anyways, Henry is played by George Gaynes, who you probably know better as Commandant Lassard of Police Academy fame. Henry's a grumpy old coot, but Punky breaks through his grumpiness. Hilarity ensues.

Punky herself is disgustingly cute. She's something like 7 or 8 years old, so I'm not going to say she was a good actor (at least then) but the amount of raw talent she has is readily apparent. She spouts out lines that she has no idea what they mean, but you almost wouldn't notice. Very not bad for such a young kid.

The DVD is not remastered in anything.. not that you really could. It was originally recorded on celluloid with mono sound. It's hard to tell if the film has been restored, or if it was just really well preserved. Even so, don't expect DVD quality picture. Picture quality is much better than any actual broadcast of the show, however. Audio remains in mono. In a 5.1 surround configuration, you'll get the mono through the center speaker, though.. which is nice.

Special features on the disc include primarily episodes of the Punky animated series entitled "It's Punky Brewster". In it, Punky finds a.. magical leprachaun.. rat.. with magical ears. It features the voices of the original cast, and is really a trip to the past. Also, the DVD sports 1 interview with the Punky creator. 3 Interviews with cast members Cheri Johnson and Ami Foster, and 1 interview with one of the series writers. Soleil Moon Frye is strangely absent in the special features department, which is unfortunate, because as we have discussed before, she's hot.

If you're in my age group and remember Punky, but haven't thought about it in years, I highly recommend this set. Personally, I detest almost all forms of children's entertainment today, but back in the 80's things were different. The comparison between the style of Punky vs today's conventions is worth the purchase alone.

This DVD set is pretty much the best set that a human being can produce, and the only detractors from this are the picture quality and the lack of more special features (especially a lack of Soleil Moon Frye, who is really hot)

Overall Score: 9 of 10

John Carter of Mars
Submitted Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 2:01:12 AM by Klaitu

You've probably never heard of John Carter of Mars. It was a series of books that hardly anyone paid attention to. The author's work was overshadowed by his other series.. TARZAN.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about John Carter of Mars is that John Carter is a Civil War veteran who is somehow transported to Mars in the 1800's.

Well, anyways. While I'm on this Sky Captain kick, I've discovered that Kerry Conran will be directing the film version of this aci-fi classic. That's right, it's finally coming to film.

The last time something like this happened, it was called Starship Troopers. Let's hope they do a little better job in the translation this time around.

Sky Captain Soundtrack
Submitted Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 1:43:39 AM by Klaitu

Suprisingly, you can listen to the entire Sky Captain Soundtrack for free.. courtesy of AOL of all things.

http://demand1.stream.aol.com/ramgen/aol/us/..._lp.rm

Buck Rogers / Indiana Jones Flavor. Yum Yum.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Submitted Saturday, September 18, 2004 - 1:34:40 AM by Klaitu

Oh how I have been waiting for this movie to come out. In fact, I wrote a Special K article on it on December 22 of last year. That's a long time to wait for a movie to come out, lemme tell ya.

Going into it, I wanted so badly for this movie to rock my socks off. Expectations were very high, and when Paramount started a huge media blitz, I got worried. This thought harried me through most of the movie. The movie has many good points, but does it meet what I expected of it?

When giant flying robots attack New York, Sky Captain is called in to deal with the problem. In the process, he rescues intrepid reporter Polly Perkins, whom he shares a history with. Who sent the robots and why? You'll have to find out. The answer is in the actual trailer for the film, but with no context you would never notice it.

Buck Rogers, Flash Gordon, Dick Tracy, and a pinch of James Bond. That's pretty much what Sky Captain is all about. 50's dialogue, planes that fly underwater, and giant airships commanded by Angelina Jolie. It's like watching a comic strip that has been adapted from a radio program into a 50's serial.. except with modern day CGI effects. The result is visual candy that you can't take in ehough.

The film's color is undersaturated to give the appearance of aged film. You might recognize a similar process that was used for Band of Brothers. Unfortuantely, Band of Brothers scored a more compelling effect in this area. The color shift of the film is noticable, and distracting in some places.

The ads for the film claim it's "like nothing we've ever seen before". That's patently untrue. We've seen this before in Wing Commander 3 and Wing Commander 4.. not to mention a little movie called Star Wars Episode 1 (and 2). The film is shot almost completely in greenscreen with only foreground elements being real. For the most part, the movie does a good job of not looking goofy.. so when some bad CGI does sneak in, you instantly notice it. For a ready example, watch the water splashing near the end of the film. (you won't be able to miss it, it's so obviously CGI)

Bad points about the film.. it's a slight bit disjointed. Sky Captain's adventures take him fully halfway around the world, which apparently he can fly there with no regard to the fuel capacity of his little plane. Later, then, you learn that he's refuelled several times, but the segue between the scenes could have been done more smoothly.

There's also some Batman cop-outs. You get lines like "Ancient Mariners used to navigate by the stars", and then ol Cap suddenly produces a star navigation table out of nowhere.. he's in the cockpit of his plane in the air at the time, so he must be really prepared.

Later on, Cap is impeded by lush foliage growth ala Indiana Jones. Cap whips out a machete. Where did he get the Machete? He just sort of has it all of a sudden.

Now, this is a movie with giant shiny metal 50's robots firing ray guns at police in 1946 Fords, so you have to suspend some reality.. but I think that continuity is an important, even in a fun movie like Sky Captain.

Before the movie began, I predicted it would be about as good as The Shadow. I was pleasantly suprised, Sky Captain is far superior to The Shadow, and while it's not perfect, I'm glad that I was able to see it.

Overall Score: 8 of 10

The Sims 2
Submitted Friday, September 17, 2004 - 12:43:05 PM by Klaitu

Where have I been for the last week? Playin Sims 2! I figured I'd better take a break, though and let you guys know what's up.

If you've ever played the first Sims, you pretty much know what Sims 2 is all about. Gameplay is more or less exactly the same. Everything's in 3d now, so you have finer control over the camera. There's also some improved takes on the original.

A lot of the things that make Sims 2 a good sequel also give it the same flaws as the original. The Sims will still eat out of the fridge if you let them do whatever they want. They still whine and complain about how tired they are when they are on the way to bed, and then having wasted the whining time they fall asleep on the floor. Instead of using the toilet, they'll just stand there and pee, even though the computer is perfectly capable of telling them to go to the bathroom.

The thing I hated the most about the first game was that the Sims were always getting clogged into areas of the house. If you got 3 Sims into a room made for 2 sims, none of them could ever get out because each of them would be blocking each others egress. So, you'd have to take down a wall for them to get out and then rebuild it.. only for the same situation to happen again. Sims 2 is not so bad.

Sims still block each other in Sims 2, but not nearly as bad. Doorway areas aren't a problem anymore, neither are one-tile wide halls. Stairs can be a problem, but only if the Sims are trying to go the same direction.. in opposite directions, they don't block one another. They'll also be blocked if there's a Sim just standing on the stair landing for no reason (it happens more than you would like).

The new aging process is probably one of the most noticable new features. The game will track the life of a Sim from conception to old age. When a mother Sim is pregnant, she will run to the bathroom and hurl during the morning hours. As the baby grows, she will start to waddle and get tired really fast. Then, the baby is born.. rather, there's a confetti explosion and a baby magically appears in the mother's arms. If only it were that easy for non Sims. Oh, and don't worry, the Sim-father is still just as traumatized if he witnesses the event.

The baby phase I found most annoying. Not so much because of the baby itself, but because how adults respond to the baby. There's always someone picking up the baby and messing with it, even when it's perfectly fine.. or especially annoyingly, when it needs to sleep. A grumpy baby cries all the freggin time, and a crying baby initiates all adults in the house to mess with the baby.. but the crying is because the baby needs to sleep. I ended up building a baby cell.. I built a fence around the crib so that nobody could get to the baby, period.

The toddler phase is slightly less annoying. The adults are still messing with the kid. You want to feed the kid, so you put him in a high chair, and then tell the Sim to go get food out of the fridge.. well, while she does that, someone else comes in and takes the kid out of the high chair, which invalidates the first sim's command. The result is that you have to seal the toddler, a sim, a fridge, and a high chair in a single room with no doors.

Child phase I can deal with. The big bummer about the child phase is that they have evil taskmaster teachers that give them huge amounts of homework. Homework that takes like 6 sims hours to complete, and comes every night, which means your kids fun meter is dead almost all the time.

Teen Phase is just like adult phase, except their jobs don't pay as much.. and they can't have sex.

Adult phase is the bulk of the game. It's pretty much identical to Sims 1 in that regard.. except Adulta can have sex, which can result in you having to do baby phase again.

Elder phase is what happens after 30 sim days of adult phase. You can mitigate that, and make adult phase make longer with some special items you can earn.. but that's pretty much the gist of it. Elders will die of old age when they peg out the age meter. You will, however, get an urn to remember them by.. and some nights they might even appear as a ghost and wander around.

Fans of Neverwinter Nights will enjoy the customization the game has to offer. You can design TV programs, put in your own custom music, build your own house, or of course, make your own custom Sims to do your bidding.

So, basically.. if you liked Sims 1, you'll love Sims 2. If you thought Sims 1 was okay, but the buggy implementation made you sick, you'll be more satisfied with Sims 2.

Overall Score: 8 of 10

What's Wrong?
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 11:53:58 PM by Klaitu

You may or may have not seen THX 1138, but the movie's website will mess with your brain. A+ for original site design. F for actual navigability.. but then again, once you've seen the movie, the weirdness makes sense.

The only reason to watch THX 1138 is the awesome car.

http://www.thx1138movie.com/

If you want to see the trailer, just ask the psychaitrist. His time is yours, after all.

X-Play Meets Star Trek
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 11:32:49 PM by Klaitu

"Set phasers to bring me coffee!"

http://www.g4techtv.com/html/videostream.asp?file=ttv/xplay/2003/xp030714st_165_0.asf

Aww Crap, Batman Got Loose
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 4:01:00 PM by Klaitu

What's this man doing, standing on the ledge of Buckingham Palace? Is he chasing the Joker? Is he outfoxing the Riddler? Is he just there to cause a.. a.. BAT-ASTROPHE? None of the above! He's there to protest divorced fathers rights!

Wide Awake
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 2:54:55 PM by Klaitu

Continuing my streak of "movies I missed the first time around" comes "Wide Awake". It's the M. Night Shyamalan film which directly preceedes The Sixth Sense.. and it's about God. God and catholics.

First off, before I get heavy into this, let me say this: The acting is great. The cinematography is top notch. There's even the expected mini-plot twist near the end. As a film, it's not a disaster. It is, however, the story which kills this movie dead, R.I.P.

Young Boy's grandfather has bone cancer. Grandfather dies. Young Boy goes in search of God. Young Boy happens to attend Catholic School, but amazingly nobody can help him. In a Catholic School! It's not for lack of asking either. (Perhaps he should have gone to a protestant school?)

Luckily, the kid does find God, and I'll spoil the mini-twist, but God is the blonde kid that's been in his class the whole time. Lucky break, huh?

Near the end of the film, the boy writes a report that he has to read in front of the class. It basically says "Now that my grandfather died and I found God, toys are meaningless to me". Which I found to be strange in and of itself. The kid is in 5th grade.

Here comes the deep stuff: This movie was written by someone who is clueless as to the actual beliefs of Catholics, and for that matter, Christians in general. If this movie parallels the writer's search for God, then I have to say that I am really disappointed in whoever has been giving him answers.

Coincidentally, the writer of this film is M. Night Shyamalan.

Overall Score: 4 of 10

The Man Without A Face
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 2:41:27 PM by Klaitu

It's a Mel Gibson movie I completely missed.. nestled sweetly in between "Forever Young" and "Maverick".

Mel Gibson is a tutor. Half his face and body was melted in a fire caused by a car wreck. One of his students was in the car with him and died. Gibson was convicted of manslaughter, went to prison, and then got out. Now, another boy needs his help to get into the Air Force Academy. The boy is, of course, screwed up because of his screwed up family.

This story is your basic "boy and mentor" story in the same vein as "Secondhand Lions". Mel turns in an excellent performance as always, and the young Nick stahl is good as well.

The story is interesting and thought provoking. There's a lot of questions raised at the beginning of the film that don't get answered until the end.

If you missed this one like I did, it's a good flick, I'd recommend it.

Overall Score: 6 of 10

Warcraft 3
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 2:32:04 PM by Klaitu

All I hear is "World of Warcraft is so awesome" and "Blizzard is composed of gods". So, I decided to look up the beginnings of this hype to find out what the big deal was.

The following sentence is going to seem painfully obvious, but it must be said:

Have you ever played Starcraft? Warcraft 3 is exactly like Starcraft, except all the units are stupider. By stupider I mean the air unit is a goblin in a helicopter.

Warcraft 3 is a Real Time Strategy game. You collect resources, you build buildings, you train units, and then you kill the other guy and take his resources and do it all over again. I can't find anything particularly innovative about it. If you've played Age of Empires 2, you've pretty much played Warcraft 3.

Graphics and animations are silly and cartoonish. The Paladins carry giant hammers (I don't know why). Everyone has metal hi-tops, and every single male character has a booming bass voice.

Warcraft 3 isn't all bad, though. The cutscenes are really something to look at. Unfortunately there are much too few of them. The plot of the game is pretty much the plot of every fantasy story: Deamons are going to take over the world. That is, unless you can collect enough resources and train enough units before the clock runs out.

Another problem is lack of units. Each race has maybe 6 or 7 different units, all of which are poorly modelled and animated. A Hard mission will take you about 10 minutes to beat. Upping the difficulty results in the computer cheating.. it's pretty close to bubberband AI, except the AI is not flexible. It'll pound you into a pulp no matter how bad you suck.

In conclusion: Warcraft 3 is a pretty boring game that you've played before a hundred times, only those games had better graphics. No doubt the cutscenes are awesome, but it's all the stuff between the cutscenes that gets in the way. It does what it is supposed to do well: be a Fantasy RTS for fans of the genre.

Overall Score: 2 out of 10

Eve Online
Submitted Monday, September 13, 2004 - 2:04:01 PM by Klaitu

I've been cruising the Internet, looking for something unique to play.. looking for something pretty smooth.. smooth and free. That led me to Eve Online. It's the only MMO that I haven't played which also has a free trial period. So, I gave it a shot.

EVE is an older game, it came out around the same time as Earth and Beyond, and it was developed by europeans. The result is more original than I had anticipated, and proved to be an interesting distraction, on an intellectual level.

EVE is like a mishmash of Elite, Earth and Beyond, and Freelancer. If you like that genre of game, you're probably ahead of most people.

First, the good:

Eve has few bugs, and its development team seems competant. When I first started the game, I was greeted by a GM which I thought was pretty much amazing customer support. Like other MMO's, EVE has multiple servers, but only one of them is a production server. The other servers are test servers. In essence, this puts all players of EVE on the same server, which I think is a real treat.

Another cool feature is that the game tells you how many people are on the server simultaneously. I played over a weekend when there were 11,000 people on.. on the same server. The result is a space-bourne world that seems pretty populated.

I also liked the largeness of the game. There are something like 5,200 different stellar systems you can explore. There are scads of missions at each space station, and each system has 2 or 3 stations.

Advancement is done in two ways: Skill advancement, and equipment enhancement. I know that comes as no revelation to you MMO fans out there, but the way it works in EVE online is different. You can only use equipment you're licensed for, and you can only get the licenses by buying them. So, you end up buying both equipment and skills. Fortunately, money is easy to come by in the game. After 3 days I had accumulated over 1 million ISK (the monetary unit) and had probably 2 more million in assets.

Now, the bad:

A lot of things that make EVE unique also make EVE suck. While the game is pretty bug-free, the servers are on the blink most all of the time. My trial period lasted only 7 days, and the servers crashed on 5 of them.

The EVE world is big, like I said before, 5000 some systems to explore. Unfortunately, there's no real difference between a fringe system and a core system, except the number of people in the area. You can go to Planets, Asteroid belts, or stations. Really quite bland.

Character and ship customization are highly lacking. You can choose what your character's head looks like, but when you get into the game, if anyone bother to look up your picture, it will appear to be about the size of the "close" X button in any window. That is to say, it's a colored blob that you can't zoom up. Your ship itself is not customizable in any way, except for the weapons you attach to it. All ships are the same color, travel the same speed, and the only difference is that it says "Fred's ship" over one guys ship and "Barney's ship" over the other guys.

Another problem with EVE is that you don't actually play the game. If you were expecting to pilot your ship, you're in for a suprise, because the computer controls your ship at all times. There is no manual control.. at all. Period.

Let's say that you're rescuing some slaves, you pick them up and put them in your cargo hold. You want to take them to somewhere safe, so you pull up the galactic map and find a safe system. You right click the star you want, select "set course" and then push the autopilot button. Then, you can go watch TV, or go outside, or do just about anything, because the computer will fly you there all by itself with no interference from you.

In fact, this is the ONLY way you can navigate around the galaxy. Longer trips can take upwards of 30 minutes.. and there's absolutely nothing for you to do during that time. Sure, you can look at the planets in the system, or chat with a buddy or something.. but you're still not actually doing anything.

Combat is similar. You find a bad guy, you lock onto him. You right click him and choose "keep distance at X" Where X is the best range for your guns. Then you turn on the weapons and go fix yourself a sandwich. The computer automatically does everything neccessary to combat your enemy. The only thing it won't do is run away.

So how does Eve stack up? It's really not all that special. There is some good here, but it's overshadowed by the heavy $12 a month pricetag. Certainly not worth it. They would probably have much more luck if they dropped it to $5 or so, offered free 30 days trials, and free downloads of the client.

Overall Score: 3 of 10

Global Warming
Submitted Sunday, September 12, 2004 - 12:18:02 PM by Klaitu

Say it ain't so! More Controversy!

I was flipping through the net reading the latest news before church, and I found an interesting article about Global Warming. It seems that Global Warming Activists are pissed because this summer has been the coolest in 115 years.

So much hope! They kicked off the summer with the "Day After Tomorrow" movie, but now they can't hype any reporters into blaming the Florida hurricanes on Global Warming.

Too Bad.

Curse that Schwarzenegger!
Submitted Saturday, September 11, 2004 - 9:48:25 PM by Klaitu

He's eroding america's civil liberties! Someone call the ACLU!

SAN FRANCISCO Having sex with corpses is now officially illegal in California after Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill barring necrophilia, a spokeswoman says.

The new legislation marks the culmination of a two-year drive to outlaw necrophilia in the state and will help prosecutors who have been stymied by the lack of an official ban on the practice, according to experts.

"Nobody knows the full extent of the problem. ... But a handful of instances over the past decade is frequent enough to have a bill concerning it," said Tyler Ochoa, a professor at Santa Clara University School of Law who has studied California cases involving allegations of necrophilia.

"Prosecutors didn't have anything to charge these people with other than breaking and entering. But if they worked in a mortuary in the first place, prosecutors couldn't even charge them with that," Ochoa said on Friday.

The state's first attempt to outlaw necrophilia, in response to a case of a man charged with having sex with the corpse of a 4-year-old girl in Southern California, stalled last year in a legislative committee.

Lawmakers revived the bill this year after an unsuccessful prosecution of a man found in a San Francisco funeral home drunk and passed out on top of an elderly woman's corpse.

The new law makes sex with a corpse a felony punishable by up to eight years in prison.

Cat? I'm a Kitty Cat, and I Dance Dance Dance
Submitted Friday, September 10, 2004 - 4:33:52 PM by Klaitu

Blame it on Goldberry, it's all her fault!

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/kittycatdance.wmv

That News vs News Thing
Submitted Friday, September 10, 2004 - 2:01:53 PM by Klaitu

By now, all of you have heard about this big rivalry between Fox News and everyone else. Fox News especially likes to talk about it, and one of their big claims is that they're now the highest rated news out there.

Well, I was looking through the Nielsens today, not for any particular reason, but check out these results from last week:

1 You Dec 04-Bush(S)-09/02/04 FOXNC 4.3 7,340,000
2 You Decide 2004 (S)-09/02/04 FOXNC 4.0 6,595,000
3 You Dec 04-Cheney(S)-09/01/04 FOXNC 3.8 6,182,000
4 You Dec 04-Bush Daughters(S)-08/31/04 FOXNC 3.7 5,445,000
5 You Dec 04-Zell Miller(S)-09/01/04 FOXNC 3.6 5,520,000
6 You Dec 04-L.Bush(S)-08/31/04 FOXNC 3.5 5,216,000
7 You Dec 04-Schwarzenegger(S) -08/31/04 FOXNC 3.4 5,124,000
8 You Decide 2004 (S)-09/02/04 FOXNC 3.3 5,511,000
8 Law & Order TNT 3.3 4,451,000
10 Law & Order TNT 3.1 4,314,000
10 You Dec 04-Pataki(S)-09/02/04 FOXNC 3.1 4,947,000

Happy Birthday to GB!
Submitted Friday, September 10, 2004 - 12:36:57 PM by Klaitu

My buddy Goldberry's birthday was yesterday, she's.. um.. 20.. something? Anyways, she's also gone back to school.. so that makes her a little older and a little wiser.

And she also drinks milks out of bags.

Hot Pursuit! Quu Quu Quuu!
Submitted Friday, September 10, 2004 - 12:34:17 PM by Klaitu

I don't know what's more disturbing. The fact that they're making a Dukes of Hazzard movie, or the fact that it stars Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott.

I saw Starsky and Hutch, and I'm noticing a trend. When does the Knight Rider movie come out? I think Jim Carrey is available to play the lead role, and Robin Williams can be KITT!

Genesis Probe not all Junk
Submitted Friday, September 10, 2004 - 12:03:49 PM by Klaitu

Remember that Genesis space probe that forgot to activate its parachutes? Well, NASA has been digging through the wreckage and has discovered several of their "collection wafers" that were still intact, so there's a chance that some actual science will be accomplished by the mission.

The objective of the probe was to collect particles emitted by the sun for study back here on earth. The particles would get trapped in a little capture device called a wafer (because they look like wafers).

Abortion
Submitted Wednesday, September 8, 2004 - 12:55:10 PM by Klaitu

Oh gads, more controversy. This one is as old as the hills.. or at least, older than my own lifetime. Now we've got bans on "Partial Birth Abortion" in the news. I was wondering exactly what makes "Partial Birth Abortion" different from normal abortion, so I looked it up. Now I kinda wish I didn't.

Partial Birth Abortion was invented in the early 90's by someone names Martin Haskell. At that time he wrote a paper on it to publish in medical journals. Here are the steps to a Partial Birth Abortion:

1. The doctor uses ultrasound to locate the baby and grab its legs with forceps.

2. The doctor pulls the baby into the birth canal, and eventually out of the mother entirely.. except for the head.

3. The doctor stabs surgical scissors into the baby's skull, and then opens the scissors to enlarge the hole. This causes the skull to collapse and the "contents" (also known as brains) to fall into the mother.

4. A suction catheter is used to remove any leftover brains. Occasionally the brains don't want to fall out, and so they are sucked directly out of the skull.

Ker-plunk
Submitted Wednesday, September 8, 2004 - 11:47:32 AM by Klaitu

When you design a 3 year space mission to collect solar particles from the sun, you would probably do well to make sure the parachutes work.

Napoleon Dynamite
Submitted Tuesday, September 7, 2004 - 2:50:39 PM by Klaitu

Have you heard of this movie? It's one of those sleeper hits.. kinda like Crouching Tiger was, except Napoleon Dyamite is actually good.

The movie dosen't really have a coherant plot. It's Seinfeld-esque in that way. It basically just follows the life of Napoleon and his friends and family. Needless to say, they're more than a little bit eccentric.

I don't know how else to describe the film, other than that it's hilarious and if it's on in your area, it's worth a look. The trailer probably makes more sense than I do:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox_searchlight/napoleon_dynamite.html

Overall Score: 7 of 10

Stupid is as Stupid Does
Submitted Tuesday, September 7, 2004 - 1:05:47 PM by Klaitu

Sorry for the Forrest thing, but this article deserves an extra stupid title:

An F is an F, but failure seems so much friendlier when it comes in purple.

A growing number of the nation’s educators are stocking up on purple pens for grading papers and passing on the traditional red, which they say can be intimidating and damaging to a student’s self-confidence.

"Teaching should always be a positive practice. Red seems to stand out in such a negative way," said Dorothy Porteus, school support specialist with the New York Charter Schools Association. “Little guys internalize the red and it doesn’t make them feel good.”

Porteus, who taught elementary school for 20 years, said a teacher should coach kids to do their best, not scare them into thinking they’ll never be good enough. She equates using red ink with drawing a frowning face on a student’s work.

"They put all this effort into something and by marking it up with red, in some ways it is like tearing their hard work to shreds,” she said. “They look at the red and think the teacher is upset with them, and this greatly influences their attempt to do their next paper.”

Top 10 Video Game Pet Peeves
Submitted Tuesday, September 7, 2004 - 12:30:04 PM by Klaitu

Ahh, and now the bad. the darker side of video games is a pretty scary place, and I'm not going to pull any punches, so hold onto your hats, and here we go!

10. Required Perhiperals

More and more, console games require perhiperals to work correctly. They might want you to buy a multitap, which will allow you to play with more than two players. It might be a light gun, a special controller, a hard drive, a network card addon, a keyboard, a headset, or any number of other things. Many times you even have to shell out for special A/V cables if you want an HD output, S-video, or component video.

9. Lousy Games

I'm not talking about games that some people like, and some people don't like. I'm talking about games that are cheap and not produced correctly. Games like "Rune", "The Grinch", and "Psycho". If your playstation game dosen't have sound, maybe you should spend some more time in the development stage instead of releasing garbage to an unsuspecting public.

8. The Gamer "Community"

Oh yes, there is a community of "gamers", and this is who game developers pander to, because they think that this is the only market that they can approach. Unfortunately, there are a whole ton of us on the outside of that community who like games too, but not the crap geared at the idiots in the community.

A typical member of the gaming community:
- Is a 17 to 30 year old white male, probably has facial hair
- Owns at least one copy of Counterstrike
- Holds or attends LAN parties regularly
- Is a member at an "Internet Battle Station"
- Drinks Red Bull or Bawls constantly
- Smokes like a chimney
- Emits streams of profanity, especially when losing
- Obsessed with sex when not playing video games

While this stereotypical description dosen't include every gamer, these guys are the most populous, and new games are developed with them in mind. Video Games can't be taken seriously until their market is taken seriously.

7. Emphasis on Wealth

Wow, it's as if this one ties right into number 8! Why do video game companies make video games? They do it to make money, and for no other reason. I don't mean to say that there's anything wrong with making money, but there was once a time in video game history when companies took pride in their work. They produced a good product AND made money.

Nowadays if consumers will buy it, they will produce it. It could be bug-ridden and full of holes. It might be released waaay too early with all the planned features not implemented. It dosen't matter. Money is the only objective here.

6. Moronic "Experts"

Gamespy, IGN.. I'm looking at you! My local Blockbuster "gamexchange" guy is also a moron as well. I don't think these guys are really as stupid as they let on, but they cater to that stereotypical group I mentioned earlier. They want you to read their magazines or use their services. The actuality of matters is irrelevant.

An example:
The Madden series of games is popular. It's really popular among casual jock gamers. When you read a review of Madden, you already know what it's going to say: "Madden is the greatest football game ever devised by man, and the only thing that can beat it is next year's Madden". They've taken to reviewing the following of the game instead of the actual game itself. That sort of reviewing is misleading and dishonest. If you want to work at like EB, Gamestop, or Blockbuster, you'll get to utter the lines "I love to play Madden". (X-play.. the only decent show on G4Tech actually gave Madden an honest review, so kudos to them).

5. Predominance of First Person Shooters

Ever since Wolfenstein 3d, the First Person Shooter has been the most popular format for every game around. This continually amazes me because, well, what do you do in a First Person Shooter?

You aim your crosshairs at someone and click the mouse.

I'm not saying that FPS's are not fun, but there's no reason for virtually every new game to be a FPS. Give us some variety. Give us a Third Person shooter. Give us a 3/4ths view shooter. Give us a Resident Evil-Style Shooter. Give us a Squad-based shooter. Heck, give us a Tomb Raider shooter.

The way I see it is this: Solitaire. There are many variations of Solitaire. You can deal 3 cards, or one, or two. You can have 12 stacks, 10 stacks, or 8 stacks. You can have the traditional Hoyle cards, or pictures of tropical destinations on the back.. but no matter how many aspects of solitaire you change, you're STILL playing solitaire.

So, it dosen't matter if I'm shooting aliens with a laser gun, or shooting Nazi's with a Garand, or shooting the Viet-Cong with a rocket launcher. I'm pointing, and I'm clicking, and I'm bored.

4. Lack of Originality

This is an aspect of video game production that I don't think I will ever understand. Original games win tons of awards. Awards make consumers and shareholders happy. Happy consumers and shareholders means more money for you, therefore original games mean more money.

Instead of creating something new, I am shooting dragons with magic, killing aliens with machine guns, running through mazes, solving puzzles, and jumping over lava via thin, breakable platforms.

Let's look at "The Sims". No killing aliens, no dragons, no guns, no lava. It's the best selling PC game ever made. Go figure.

3. Megalocorporations

I'm looking at you, Electronic Arts! Now, I'm not going to say that everything that EA does is bad, it's just not great. EA made it big with its sports franchise, and because of this, EA is a streamlined machine. They produce games on a timetable, and if the game isn't actually ready, well too bad, it's shipping anyway.

EA has truly a unique approach to business. EA is such a juggernaut that it just produces so many games that statistically a few of them have to be hits. They're also big on franchise games like the Lord of the Rings series.

Part of the problem: developing games these days is expensive, especially if you want a broad platform release. If you release for PS2, CGN, and XBX together you basically have to program 3 entirely different games that just happen to play in the same way. That costs lots of money, of course.. and EA has loads of money.

EA's mass production of games has led to a lack of standards on the part of consumers. Gamers today expect that they will have to download patches to correct bugs. They expect less-than-stellar graphics. They expect poor designs, poor sounds, and early shipments. So now, when they get their new copy of a game, there is no disappointment, and EA is a few dollars richer.

2. Cartoon Boobs

Okay. I'm a guy, so I love cartoon boobs as much as anyone else.. but come on! Not everyone can wear leather, carry big guns, and have giant cartoon boobs. Nevertheless, the females of most video games meet all three of these criteria.

The first game I can think of that started the cartoon boobs trend was Tomb Raider. Before that point, graphics pretty much sucked. Sure, you had Leisure Suit Larry.. but that was about it. Heck, LSL wasn't even bad in that regard as the cartoon boobs had a purpose for that series.

I'm not saying that cartoon boobs are offensive, but you can sometimes have too much of a good thing. I mean, you might like oreo cookies, but at some point you have to stop eating them and take a break.

There's also the effect that giant cartoon boobs have on women. A woman looks at a video game, sees giant cartoon boobs, and thinks "this is a game for guys". So, if you're trying to play a game with your girl, you have to overcome that hurdle straight off the bat.

Of course, some women are different than others, but I think that in a general sense, you could improve the number of female gamers by offering less cartoon boobs. It's all about being taken seriously in a world where you find video games at the kids table.

1. Communist Pricing

Imagine if you will a world in which everything is the same price, regardless of the quality of the product. A world in which a 2004 KIA and a 2004 Ferrari are the same price. A world where you can have either a bowl of oatmeal, or dine on fresh seafood for the same price.

That's how Video Games are priced. If a video game is relatively new, it WILL cost around $50 bucks. No regard is given to the quality or design of the product in question. So, for your hard-earned money you might be buying a game like Rune, or you might be buying a game like Resident Evil Outbreak.

This problem is further compounded by ignorant people who resell video games, most notably at GameStop and Blockbuster. A Previously played copy of "The Bouncer" without the original box or instruction manual will run you $14 dollars at Blockbuster. Here's the problem: The same game WITH the manual and original box is worth maybe 5 bucks, and that's being generous.

The flipside here is that Blockbuster and Gamestop will give you way more than the game is worth if you sell it to them. Of course, they give it to you in proprietary "gift card" currency, but that's hardly an issue.

So, you smart people are going to start buying off E-bay and selling to gamestop/blockbuster for a profit. Not that I blame you, I'm sorta already working on that aspect. Still, though. Fair pricing for video games is good for everyone.

Top 10 Video Game Revolutions
Submitted Sunday, September 5, 2004 - 12:11:36 PM by Klaitu

Well, okay so it's going to be 20 things.. 10 good and 10 bad. There's two sides to every coin, and video games are no exception. Video Games have been around since the 70's, and over time that legacy has produced prominence and pitfalls.

The Top 10 Video Game mistakes will be up later on.

Ten things that have evolved the art of video games in a positive way:

10. The Joypad

Nobody's really sure who invented the Joypad, but Nintendo claims responsibility.. and why not? Their console was one of the very first to use a Joypad.

Before the joypad, gamers were burdened down by unresponsive joysticks. Joysticks work great for console games, but hand held they are unruly as you have to use one hand just to steady the base of the thing.

Intellivision had a good idea in that their controllers were not joysticks, but sort of a keypad. Unfortunately, the buttons of the intellivision controllers wore out rather quickly, and even new were unresponsive.

So, the Nintendo Entertainment System and the Sega Master System both used joypads. They were light, easy to hold, and the buttons were responsive and didn't wear out quickly with repeated use. The joypad has been the default controller for every console ever since.. with the possible exception of the Atari Jaguar.

9. The Cartridge

You may laugh, but the cartridge had been a staple of home gaming consoles for almost 30 years now. The Atari used them. Sega used them, Nintendo still uses them on the gameboy. While the cartridge of today is inferior to software formats, the cartridge revolutionized gaming for generations. You're likely to see it for a long time to come in the form of memory cards and gameboy carts.

8. The 3d Video Card

The world of the 16-bit revolution was a world of sprites and platformers. Sure, you had games like Elite, Echelon, and Starfox, but those were few and far between.. and they looked like total crap. The 3D video card changed all that.

Suddenly, one could generate landscapes, virtual enviornments, gravity defying boobs.. If you could model it, you could stick it in a video game.. and don't think they didn't try.

So the 16-bit sprite days gave way to the 32-bit polygon days, and nobody's ever looked back. Even the Gameboy Advance can generate rudimentary 3d graphics.

7. Sound Blaster

There are all manner of sound cards out there, but none so widely prescribed as the Sound Blaster series. Sound Blaster is the card by which all other cards are judged, and made compatible with for that reason. It's been chugging along since the late 80's, expanding our PC speaker monaural sound into glorious MIDI.

Over time, games began to incorporate digital recordings. Stuff like spoken dialog and MP3-style music. Sound is, after all, more than half of the experience in playing a video game.

6. Broadband Internet

This is a relatively recent trend in gaming. The ability for people to play with or against other players over the internet. You could smite a guy from Europe, frag a guy from Canada, or maybe if you're lucky, you can be mocked by a Japanese player. (The mock you with the letter "w". Not a capital w, only the lowercase one.. I don't get it either)

Broadband Internet has given way to "internet connectivity" being a huge selling point with consoles. It's also given birth to the MMORPG persistant state world. It brings us patches, upgrades, and cheat codes.

5. The ROM

Don't know what a ROM is? I wouldn't be suprised. You're not supposed to talk about ROMs. They're taboo, hush-hush and so forth.

A ROM is basically a software representation of the hardware in a cartridge. Pair this with a software representation of the hardware in.. say.. a NES and you can play any NES game on your PC.

Ultimately, this can lead to a form of software piracy.. just like if you made a copy of a computer game. It's all about copyright laws and all that jazz. There is, however, a legitimate place for ROMs.

A ROM allows you to play old cartridge games from the early days of gaming. Great games of the past tend to go by the wayside, and especially in the case of consoles, you can't ever play them again because consoles are rarely compatible with their previous incarnation. The ROM breaks those rules.

4. Digital Media Formats

Specifically, the CD-ROM and the DVD-ROM. I talked earlier about cartridges and the boon of the home video game system. Cartridges are indeed a revolution, but Digital Media blows us away in ways thet cartridges can only dream of.

The general size and scope of any video game is limited by a number of factors, but one of the most persistant factors is the general lack of storage space for computer code that doles out all that eyecandy. This also sort of goes back into the 3d Card entry. the 3d Card was in part so revolutionary because the computer code for polygons is smaller than the computer code for sprites.. generally of course.

CD-ROM and DVD-ROM bring us amazing graphics and surround sound, all on a format that never wears out, is hard to break, and is widely standardized.

3. The Gameboy

I hate Nintendo, but as much as I would like to, I cannot deny the success and simple elegance of the Gameboy. It started out with that oldschool green and black dot matrix screen and that accursed TETRIS game. Need I even mention Pokemon?

The gameboy has been revised, upgraded, and expanded over the years. You can find it in just about every color. New gameboys can do color and 16 bit graphics. They have stereo sound and excellent battery life.

And you can still play Tetris.

2. HDTV

Oh, some of you have not seen HDTV. You've not had the opportunity to compare HD with normal formats. Just you wait. When HDTV finally arrives in full force, it's going to blow away gamers again. Well, technically.. it already is blowing away a limited number of rich gamers as we speak.

HDTV adds insane quality and definition to what you might already experience as "normal" TV. What the HDTV format does for DVD's, movies, and sporting events it can also do for video games. The result is a level of detail that has never before been seen by the likes of man.

1. Video Game Ratings

Here's a big one, and I'll tell you why: there was once a time when video games didn't have ratings. Sure, most of you remember those days, but keep in mind that video game ratings were established 13 years ago. Our current ratings system has been in place for 10 years.

When I was a kid, I didn't like the ratings system. I didn't really see a point because I was never really affected by those exploding guys in Technocop, nor was I particularly impressed by the vampires chasing the scantily-clad woman in Night Trap. Not even the spine-ripping action of Mortal Kombat was particularly impressive to me.

As an adult, though, I can see the reason for them. Nobody questions that today's video games can contain wholly inappropriate material for youngsters. Video game ratings help clueless parents figure out which games may possibly contain that bad stuff, and what specifically that bad stuff is.

More Ovaltine, Please!
Submitted Sunday, September 5, 2004 - 11:06:56 AM by Klaitu

Along with Vegemite, Ovaltine is probably one of the most disgusting synthetic foods on the planet. However, after seeing this ad I may have to reconsider my position on the subject. After all, who dosen't want to wake up perky?

I *heart* the A-Team
Submitted Saturday, September 4, 2004 - 11:45:04 PM by Klaitu

Let's face it: I like a lot of TV shows, and the A-Team is one of the best blasts from the past. It's not really all that good, but it's got Dirk Benedict and Mr. T in it. Not to mention that slick A-Team van of theirs.

Sure, it's pathetic.. but I've been hoping for an A-Team big screen movie.. WITHOUT cast replacement. I mean, sure George Peppard isn't around anymore, but still. It would be a monumental event in cinema history.

Well, a little birdie tipped me off to my old heroes making headlines over at The Onion. I love this article so very much. I want to marry it. Seriously. If you watched the A-Team religiously like I once did, then the laughter generated by this article may, in fact, kill you.

WASHINGTON, DC—After more than 30 years spent hiding in the Los Angeles underground as wanted criminals, the members of the crack commando unit Alpha Team, commonly known as the A-Team, were cleared of all charges brought against them by the U.S. military, an army official announced Monday.

"In 1972, we arrested the members of the A-Team for a crime they swore they didn't commit," Gen. Stephen Lupo said. "They broke out of our maximum-security stockade, and from that moment forth, I thought of nothing but their recapture. However, a recent audit of their file has revealed that the arrest of the Alpha Force members was made in error. The U.S. military deeply regrets the mistake."

According to Lupo, the A-Team members' exoneration will occur before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces on Aug. 24.

Just hours after Lupo's announcement was made, Cpt. H.M. "Howlin' Mad" Murdock, the A-Team's pilot, resurfaced to speak with journalist Amy Allen, who often reported on the mercenaries' charitable acts.

"For decades, we've been forced to live in the shadows," Murdock said. "Somehow, we always found a way to help people who had nowhere else to turn, but we operated under the constant threat of recapture. Finally, the nightmare is over."

Added Murdock: "Owooohh, I'm a little doggie! Ow ow owooohhhh!"

Murdock and the surviving members of the team—the classically handsome Lt. Templeton Arthur "Face" Peck and the Mohawk-sporting mechanic, Sgt. Bosco "B.A." Baracus—said their joy over the announcement was tempered only by regret that their de-facto leader, Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, was not alive to see their names cleared.

"Somewhere up there, Hannibal is smiling down on us—maybe disguised as a giant crocodile or a wealthy diamond merchant," Peck said. "He loved it when a plan come together."

"More than any of us, he would have enjoyed seeing the look on [Col. Roderick] Decker's face when our innocence was announced," Peck continued. "Decker hated Hannibal ever since they served together back in 'Nam. Decker never could stand his cocky attitude."

Smith was gunned down in front of a Las Vegas casino in 1994.

The A-Team members said that, although they presume the army's offer of freedom is legitimate, they have taken precautions.

"We formed a backup plan in case things turn out to be on the jazz," Peck said, using the team's code phrase for a troublesome situation. "Murdock's gonna perch a helicopter on top of the courtroom. B.A. found a broken Howitzer in a junkyard, got it working again, and got it mounted in our van. We also have a whole team of troubled teens B.A. befriended and taught valuable lessons. They placed explosives throughout the courtroom and along our subterranean escape route. If need be, they'll blow that courtroom apart."

Peck admitted that their escape plan might be too crazy to work, acknowledging the possibility that he will be punched in the face during the escape. He also noted that stacks of cardboard boxes might break the falls of the military personnel thrown into the air by the A-Team's explosives.

"Just to be safe, I romanced a beautiful court stenographer and convinced her to smuggle some smoke bombs in with her," Peck said. "All in a day's work."

Lupo said he expects an uneventful trial, explaining that, as restitution for the military's mistake—a typo which attributed crimes committed by the H-Team to the A-Team—the court will award Peck, Murdock, and Baracus honorable discharges, a written apology from Decker, and 32 years' back pay.

Murdock said his primary concern at present is getting Baracus to fly from L.A. to Washington, D.C. for the trial.

"He keeps calling me a 'crazy foo' for trying to get him to fly," Murdock said. "I told him the chance of the plane crashing into a field of rednecks harassing a religious group was very slim. I'm thinking that if we drug his milk, we can get him on the plane."

Baracus said that he has big plans for his settlement.

"For the last 30 years I've been a soldier of fortune," Baracus said. "Now, I'm going to take the money and do something for the kids. I'm gonna start a gym. A gym for the kids. For a long time, that's been my dream. But I couldn't open one with [Gen. Hunt] Stockwell on our tail. He'd use a tank to send shells through the side of it."

Added Baracus: "I pity the fool that tries to blow up my gymnasium now!"

While the original members of the A-Team have been exonerated, the same cannot be said for Frankie "Dishpan" Santana, a special-effects expert who helped the team escape Stockwell's clutches in 1986. Santana, who remains charged with dereliction of duty, desertion, and insubordination, spoke with reporters from a holding pen at Fort Bragg.

"I suppose it would be too much to ask the guys to break me out now that they're finally legit," Santana said. "If I'm lucky, maybe they'll put me in a cell that has a blowtorch in it for some reason, or air ducts large enough to crawl through. Or maybe they'll just do a sloppy job of guarding me—but that may be too much to ask."

Within hours of his interview, Santana escaped using a blowtorch to open the cell's air ducts while the guards were having lunch in a different room. His whereabouts are currently unknown.

Raptor
Submitted Friday, September 3, 2004 - 3:03:49 PM by Klaitu

Rawr! It's the Raptor.. the F-22 Raptor. This thing rocks!

You might recall the oldschool F-15 Fighter. It's been the Air Force's flagship fighter for awhile, but all that has recently changed. The old F-15 is being replaced with the smarmy new F-22 fighter.. and why not?

Why is this thing so great? Well, it looks freakin cool for one.. but there's other cool stuff about it. Stuff like it can fly for extended periods at Mach 1.5 without afterburners.

Oh, and this baby's stealth. It has a radar signature similar to that of a bumblebee.. in fact, the pilots helmet would light up on a radar before the entire plane itself would.. well, if the helmet weren't shielded anyways.

Learn more at:
http://www.f22-raptor.com/