April 2005

Happy Birthday to Me.. again
Submitted Friday, April 29, 2005 - 2:02:49 AM by Klaitu

Hey, guess who's birthday it is!

Go, on.. Guess!

NOPE! You guessed WRONG!

Okay, so maybe you didn't. I sort of gave it away with the title, didn't I?

So, what am I doing for my birthday? I'm sawing a rotted fence into pieces, digging the rotted posts out of the ground, and designing barbeque grills. Sounds like a whole mess of fun, don't it?

I'm going to eat ice cream now.. in.. celebration. Yeah, that's it.. celebration. It has nothing to do with the butterscotch container. Nothing whatsoever.



No News is Sim news
Submitted Tuesday, April 26, 2005 - 4:33:54 PM by Klaitu

It's times like these that writing updates is the most boring. I got nothing.. zilch.. zippo. I've been horsing around with Sims 2 University a little bit. What more can I say other than "I played it the first time when it was called 'the sims 1'"?

While I'm on the subject, check this out, it's just wrong:
http://thesims2.ea.com/getcoolstuff/music/Fly_Foam_de_Flirt.mp3

Sims rap. Wow. It's disturbing, though I have to admit that even though they're speaking in gibberish, It's some of the best rap I've ever heard.

The entire soundtrack is available for your perusal, as a matter of fact.

http://thesims2.ea.com/getcoolstuff/music.php

Because I know you're dying to hear it.

In other news, Friday is my birthday and I'm presently hoping to eat many, many tacos in celebration.. even though it's tuesday. I'll letcha know how that goes.



O-R-E-O
Submitted Sunday, April 24, 2005 - 2:50:56 PM by Klaitu

There is food, and then there are certain delightful foodstuffs that deserve a place among the pantheon of edible goodness.

Applewood Smoked Bacon
Cylinder Hush Puppies
Bacon Cheeseburgers
Taco Mayo Tacos
Top Sirloin Steak
Nutty Bars

and now a new addition to the pantheon of "best ever" foods:

PEANUT BUTTER DOUBLESTUF OREOS!

They're relatively new, but I ate one, and it literally kicked my butt from the inside out. These are essentially normal oreos with peanut butter in the middle instead of that white creamy stuff.

Lest you think this is a new idea, I've been doing this for some time.. first, licking clean the interior of the normal oreo, then spreading peanut butter across that chocolatey surface.

Of course, Nabisco.. having cookie scientists, has forumlated the perfect blend of peanut butter for their oreo's. They blow my handmade variety out of the water.

So, next time you feel like eating so many oreos you'll get a heartattack, do so with peanut butter doublestuf oreos!

You'll die with a smile on your face.

Now, all I need is for them to figure out to crush these up and put them in ice cream. Seems like I have to think of this stuff before they get around to doing it.

Amateurs.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a giant glass of milk.



Followup
Submitted Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 1:26:04 AM by Klaitu

Here's some followup information for those interested.

Special Treats!
You can download the Mirror Enterprise Theme here:

http://ds180.net/specialk/treats/mirrortheme.mp3

It's just a direct from TV rip, sounds good, but not supergood.

Also, there is commentary available for "In a Mirror, Darkly". You can sync it with your playback of the episode and check it out just like a DVD commentary (or even burn it to a CD and play while you watch.. most nifty)

http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/features/bst/article/10600.html



esirpretnE
Submitted Saturday, April 23, 2005 - 12:52:08 AM by Klaitu

Alright, I have to give special-like props to the people over at Star Trek: Enterprise for their mirror episode. Mirror universe episodes are ultimately pointless explorations and throwaway episodes, and I can't say that I would have allowed a mirror episode with so few available episodes remaining.


"In a Mirror, Darkly" is a true mirror universe episode. In previous Mirror universes, we saw Captain Kirk being transposed with his alternate self. Sisko and company made several unintended trips in their 7 year mission. Voyager and TNG missed the mirror thing, but Enterprise has brought it back, with a really good twist: nobody from the "real" universe has stumbled onto the mirror universe.

And rightly so, Kirk was the first to discover that the mirror universe existed.

So, instead of transposing crewmembers, they transposed the original USS Defiant. You'd recall this from the TOS episode entitled "The Tholian Web" where the Defiant is trapped in an interspatial rift, and Kirk along with it. Now you get to learn a lot more "behind the scenes" of that episode. "In a mirror" really fleshes out the original story.

Along the way, the usual mirror episode things happen.. chicks wear less clothing and sleep around.. the guys are all obsessed with power and ambition, and one crewmember has an unneccessary but gratuitous scar.

I was a bit disappointed that nobody was sporting an evil goatee, though.

Other familiar things revisited: The agony booth from the original TOS mirror episode makes an appearance, as well as our favorite "Dagger through the earth" logo. With the TOS Defiant on the loose, we're treated to use of TOS-era sets. Most delicious.

Additionally, I have to give special mention to the "mirror" Star Trek credit roll. From beginning to the end, it's like you're watching an entirely alternate Star Trek TV series.. and Zefram Cochrane blowing away Vulcans with a shotgun? That's just wrong. Wrong, but so very right.

I don't really think I can give this episode an "overall score" because I can't really be objective about it. All I can really say is that it was an hour of fluff television, but it was thoroughly enjoyable. Thumbs up!



SEGA Fantasy VI
Submitted Friday, April 22, 2005 - 1:10:32 PM by Klaitu

I haven't got much interesting to say, but I do have like an hour long flash video for you to watch!

http://www.hcn.zaq.ne.jp/cabic508/rsf/frame1.html

Click on "New Game" to start the thing. It's essentially a Final Fantasy sequence where the PSP is the main boss, and all the other consoles are trying to survive. Quite entertaining!



I Love this Shirt!
Submitted Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 3:18:43 PM by Klaitu

I want to marry it! The Japanese are still insane!








Console Wars
Submitted Wednesday, April 20, 2005 - 3:16:26 PM by Klaitu

Alright, the news has been around, so this is more of an "if you missed it the first time" update.

1. The new X-Box will officially be announced on May 12 in a 30 minute special on MTV hosted by Elijah Wood. No details about the system have been announced, but the word is that it will be called the "X-Box 360" and it will come packaged with a webcam. It will also "allow gamers unprecedented ability to customize their gaming experience" according to Microsoft.

The 30 minute infomercial begins at 8:30 PM Central.

2. News about the Playstation 3 is slim. Sony is set to announce some sort of PS3 details at this year's E3, which takes place after Microsoft announces their system on the 12th.

Rumor is that the PS3 will feature a special 4.6 ghz CPU chip codenamed the "cell". The Graphics technoloogy is contracted out to nVidia, who are currently the Video card leaders in the PC market, and previously did the first X-Box's graphics card. The PS3 is rumored to have 256MB of XDR DRAM.

Sony has already collected some continuing franchises for the PS3.. Final Fantasy 13 (wow, that's a lot), Gran Turismo 5, Tony Hawk's Underground, and a new Grand Theft Auto game are scheduled for the system.

3. Nintendo isn't out of the race yet (unfortunately). They've got a new console to be announced at E3 as well, and it's called "Nintendo Revolution" or at least, that's the code name. Nintendo has a track record of taking what they call the "innovation path" and not the "hardware path". Nintendo has collected Soul Calibur III for their new console.

There's also a rumor going around about all three consoles, that IBM is manufacturing the same CPU for all 3 of them, but there's little confirmation of that.



April 19
Submitted Monday, April 18, 2005 - 10:09:28 PM by Klaitu

So, it's been 10 years since the Oklahoma City Bombing. Having lived here in Oklahoma City for all my life, I occasionally get questioned about the bombing.. certainly less frequently these days, though. I think that people are just genuinely curious as to what it was actually like to be there. Unlike the 9/11 attacks, there were no emotional videos of planes slamming into buildings, or people jumping to their deaths. So, since it's the 10th anniversary, I'll relate my own tale in the story of April 19, 1995.

April 19 started just about like any other day. I was 10 days shy of my 17th birthday. The pressing concern on my life at tha time was my lack of a driver's license, which I wouldn't obtain until later that year. The weather, was by any account a typical Oklahoma Spring Morning.. that being crisp and cool.

Being a weekday, I had to go to school. This was my Junior year in High School, and luckily for me my first hour of school was designated as Independent Study. I took the opportunity to study the inside of my eyelids. School started promptly at 8 AM every weekday, and my Independent Study would end at 8:55 AM. I can remember that on this particular day I didn't sleep the whole 55 minutes through. I decided instead to finish up some work I had to do for one of my afternoon classes.

Now, my High School was actually a pretty small place. There were maybe 120 students in the whole entire school.. and that's counting the elementary as well. In the High School, there couldn't have been more than 40 people. In my grade, 11th, there were only 3 students, and one of them was absent that day.. a buddy of mine named J.T. It wasn't unusual for him to be late. He was the posterchild for the A+ student, and so the administration let him do whatever he wanted.. more or less. I expected him to show up for our second course, a bear of a course "Intermediate French".

I hated French class, but liked the teacher, so it all balanced out. The French class was held in the unused electrical engineering room.. which was essentially a glorified janitor's closet. The Room connected to the Kindergarten class, and they had nap time at 8:55.. lucky dogs. In order to get to the classroom for that course we had to go outside, around the building, and in through the back door so as to not disturb the kindergarteners. When French class let out, the Kindergarteners were on recess, so we could exit through the indoors, then. Thinking back, those Kindergarteners had a good racket going.

My school was the home of the Nazi attendance schedule. If you weren't in your seat at 9:00, you were getting a demerit. It didn't even matter if you were in the room, your butt had to be in the seat.. unless you were the poster boy for the A+ student, who still hadn't shown up as French Class started.

The first order of business for any course at the school was a prayer, which we went through rather routinely. In the silence afterwards, something unique happened. A rumble was heard. It was so sharp and so deep that it made the insulated ceiling tiles jump out of their sockets.

We weren't unaccustomed to rumbles in French class, though. Since the electrical room shared a wall with both the girls and the boys restroom, and whenever anyone would flush the girl's toilet, the pipes running through the wall would cause quite the calamitus ruckus. It was not unusual for the ceiling tiles to shake when this happened. We sort of looked at one another and figured that whoever had flushed the toilet must have needed some extra flushing power. Of course, this is what happened at 9:02 AM, but for the time being, we were completely oblivious.

French class continued uninterrupted. We were doing multiplication in French, and let me tell you.. the numbers are familiar, but the names aren't. It was a relief when the clock struck 9:55 and the class ended. Just as it did, J.T. rushed in and told us that a bomb had been detonated somewhere downtown. We didn't really know to believe him or not, he did tend to be quite the jokester. I got the sense that he was deadly serious, though. We left our books and went to the Cafeteria, where the Principal had set up the school's only TV. It didn't have an antenna, so our first images of the Oklahoma City bombing were from KWTV-CBS (the strongest broadcast signal in Oklahoma) and they were fuzzy and blurry. Thanks to Timothy McVeigh, I had a "get out of Algebra 2 free" card. I think I would have preferred the Algebra.

I knew that I was living through an unforgettable moment in history, so I committed myself to remember every detail I could possibly remember about the experience, so that I could tell people what happened, how it happened, and what it was like.. you know, like I'm doing now. We watched as the cell phone system overloaded. Reporters were following all sorts of unusual leads. At the Kilpatrick Science Museum, the plate tectonics exhibit's seismomenter had registered the blast.

My school is 15.03 miles from Ground Zero, and it lifted the ceiling tiles out of their place. The shock sounded like a crack of strong thunder. My dad, however, was about 4,000 feet from Ground Zero on the 12th floor of the Kerr-MeGee Building in downtown Oklahoma City. His computer monitor lept 2 feet off his desk, and the only reason his window didn't break was because the blast was blocked by a smaller building in the path of the explosion. Of course, I didn't know any of this at the time.. it was impossible to call anyone, so we just sat in the cafeteria and waited.

It was decided that after lunch, classes would resume as usual. Some of us took the time to walk around campus and talk. The big fad in those days was to play Hackey Sack. The largest game of Hackey Sack was played that day under the entrance drive awning. Myself, I watched, as it turns out that my fingers and hands are the only limbs I can operate with any accuracy. We were out there for at least an hour, and only two cars came down the road during that time.. and one was a fire truck.

After lunch, classes proceeded as usual, as everyone put the incident out of their minds temporarily. Of all the people in the school, my dad was the closest to the explosion, so nobody in the school suffered a loss.

When I returned home, we just sat and watched.. and watched.. and watched some more. Every channel had news coverage of the bombing, and some channels were even teaming up. Our UPN affiliate was merely re-transmitting the NBC affiliate's news feed. I was amazed. It was a week before normal programming resumed on any channel. The lost revenue from those commercials that didn't play during that time must have been staggering.

Slowly, the story unfolded on the screen. We all pieced it together as it happened, though we didn't have all the details at that early date.

Tim McVeigh and the Ryder Truck caught red handedTimothy McVeigh and an accomplice had parked a Ryder truck packed with fertilizer behind the Murrah building. The lit a standard fuse and bailed. McVeigh made it to a getaway car and escaped long before the area was barricaded. Nobody really is sure what happened to the accomplice. The explosion completely vaporized the portion of the building it was nearest to, and left a crater 13 feet deep. The internal structure of the first floor was so damaged, that the floor of the second floor collapsed, which pulled the main support beam off it's foundation and caused the collapse of all 6 stories.

There were 361 people in the Murrah building a the time of the explosion. 163 of them died. 166 of them were injured. Only 32 escaped unscathed.. but the Murrah building wasn't the only one affected by the explosion. The Ryder truck bomb destroyed or rendered uninhabitable 17 other buildings in the surrounding area, and being outdoors wasn't much of an advantage with an extraordinary amount of shattered glass falling from stories in the air. 280 other buildings sustained significant damage.

The total of dead came out to 168. 2 people died in the Water Resources Building, 1 in the Athenian Building, One was outside near the truck as it exploded, and the last one was a rescue worker who died during rescue operations. It took 12,384 people 33 days to locate and identify the remains inside the building.

In the aftermath, 387,000 people knew someone killed in the bombing. That's 1/3rd of the entire population of Oklahoma. 190,000 of them attended the funeral services of the victims, which is about 20% of the population. Of those, 30 children were orphaned by the explosion. 219 children lost one of their parents. 462 people lost their homes. All this from an explosion that lasted less than a minute.

Every sort of public servant you can think of was mobilized.. firemen, rescue workers, doctors, nurses, all 5 military branches and their reserves, and the Oklahoma Highway Patrol. One such Highway Patrolman was Trooper Charlie Hanger. He had been dispatched to the scene to help with the rescue efforts, but never made it. Before he could get there, they decided to return him to his regular patrol in Noble county, Oklahoma. On his return to his regular patrol, he noticed a 1977 Grand Marquis with no license plate and pulled it over. It was driven by Timothy McVeigh.

McVeigh explained away his lack of license plate by saying that he had just purchased the vehicle, but he was unable to produce evidence to support that. He was also carrying a concealed 9mm handgun, which are illegal to conceal in Oklahoma. Trooper Hanger arrested McVeigh and searched the vehicle and dound a red baseball cap, an empty white envelope, and some hand tools. He locked the car and ran a check on McVeigh's gun and drivers license. McVeigh came up clean, so there was no great urgency in taking him to the Noble County jail in Perry, Oklahoma.

On the way to jail, McVeigh manage to plant some evidence.. a business card from a guy named Dave Paulson. MCVeigh was cheesed off at Paulson because he wouldn't sell McVeigh some dynamite and blasting caps. When he arrived at the jail, the troopers slapped him with 4 misdemeanor charges: unlawfully carrying a weapon, transporting a loaded firearm in a motor vehicle, failing to display a current license plate, and failing to maintain proof of insurance.

If you think it was lucky that Trooper Charlie Hanger had just managed to pick up McVeigh during his escape, you're about to witness another amazing coincidence. McVeigh's misdemeanor charges require court time. Usually these sort of things are dealt with promptly, but because McVeigh had been pulled over in a rural area with a single judge, and because that judge was wrapped up in a court case, McVeigh's trial date was set for May 21, 1995.

While McVeigh was trapped in a po-dunk county jail on misdemeanor charges, the FBI was going gung-ho in their attempt to find the doer of the deed. The initial belief among just about everyone was that the OKC Bombing was the work of a foreign terrorist group such as Al Quaeda, but there was an important historical prominence for the date April 19. Two years earlier, the FBI had raided the Branch Davidian cult in Waco, Texas. April 19 is also the anniversary of the Revolutionary War battle of Lexington and Concord (better known as Patriot's Day). It's a holiday particularly popular among militias. FBI profilers tended to discount the foreign connection, and so they began to look for a militia member who was upset about Waco.

More personally, our lives were frozen solid. I still went to school every day, but my dad didn't, as his workplace was inside the Quarantine zone. His efforts were primarily focussed on retrieving his car, which was situated in a downtown parking garage. Eventually, we got permission from the military to go and get it.

My dad, myself, and my uncle went to retrieve it. Driving downtown was eerie. There was no traffic whatsoever, unless you count humvees with army guys in urban combat camo. We had to walk through what I considered to be a maze of twists and turns to get to this parking garage. It didn't have anything to do with the bombing, it was just really strangely designed.

So, as it turned out my dad had happened to park his car on the top floor of the parking garage, which was built into the Kerr-McGee building. When the bomb went off, it shattered every window above the 12th floor, which then rained down onto the parking lot.. and the cars therein, including my dad's. You might be suprised at how much glass is in your typical highrise building.. it's a lot! When propelled by gravity, it can get some serious kinetic energy going.

There were cars in the parking lot where the glass had gone completely through their hoods, roofs, and trunks. Many car windshields were shattered themselves, and then of course it rained, so they were rotted out.

My dad's car didn't suffer much damage, other than dents. Lots and lots and lots of dents. It also had a vinyl half-roof which was seriously cut up. The car ran fine, but the body damage was so extensive that the insurance company totalled it. Amazingly, they did, in fact, pay off on damage from a terrorist attack.

As we navigated the vehicle out of the parking garage maze, we had to go through a military checkpoint, and we caught a glimpse of the bombing site as we passed the intersection. It was nearly dark out, but that place was lit up like daytime. The Navy had flown in special underwater lights that brightened up the area considerably.

Oh, and on a side note, the day before we went and got the car, the military busted Geraldo Rivera for trying to sneak into the bombing site. I found that to be a moment of hilarity in an otherwise somber event.

Ford Festiva and AxleSo, while we were doing all this, FBI Forensics was all over the crime scene. They located a partially destroyed truck axle that had situated itself smack on the hood of a Ford Festiva. They also uncovered a legible license plate from the area.. both of which belonged to the now exploded Ryder truck. It didn't take them long to trace the parts back to the Ryder agency that rented them, in Junction City, Kansas. McVeigh had used an alias to rent the truck, so they had the employees there generate a composite sketch of the two people who showed up to rent that particular truck.


Darned if they don't look just exactly like Tim McVeigh and Terry Nichols.


The FBI took those composite photos and showed them around town. They scored a hit at a local motel, where they learned McVeigh's real name from the Hotel ledger. Also on the Hotel ledger was his home address.. the same home address that was on his Michigan Driver's License. The Hotel manager also noted that he showed up in a yellow Grand Marquis.

With McVeigh's real name, they could do all sorts of computer searches for McVeigh, and one of those searches turned up that a little-known Trooper had done a search for McVeigh's information in Perry, Oklahoma.. and that he was still in jail on misdemeanor charges. The FBI wasted no time in catching up with McVeigh.. they took helicopters to the jail.

Federal custody was making McVeigh nervous. The Agents were going to transport him to a Federal facility, and that meant he was going to have to go outside.. where hundreds of pissed-off Oklahomans were chanting "bring him out!". McVeigh demanded a bulletproof vest and a helicopter. He got neither of them. A similar scene was going on in Kansas, as the FBI rounded up Terry Nichols.

Meanwhile, at the bombing site the search was nearing completion. The Murrah building was no longer useful as a building, and so on May 23, the building was safely imploded, and the site was surrounded by a 10 foot high fence. Passersby and visitors to the site were keen to place personal effects into the chainlink fence, and it became sort of a makeshift memorial.

It took almost exactly 2 years for McVeigh to get his day in court. His trial began in April of 1997. They had moved the trial from Oklahoma to Colorado to ensure a fair trial, but fair or unfair, McVeigh never really had any chance of being found innocent. the prosecution called 141 witnesses, while the defense called only 27 (3 of them insisted on immunity before they would testify). It took the jury 3 days to come up with the guilty verdict, and the death sentence. During the time before his execution, he was situated in a cell near the 1993 WTC bombing guy, and the unabomber.

At first, he attempted several appeals, but he couldn't get anywhere with them and eventually gave up trying. He was executed by lethal injection on June 12, 2001.

McVeigh was not the only one to face justice, Terry Nichols got himself found guilty of 161 counts of first degree murder and 2 counts of arson.. and those were just the state charges. He had earlier been sentenced to life in prison for conspiracy and Manslaughter. He is now serving two consecutive life sentences for his role in the bombing.

Also convicted was Michael Fortier, who only got 12 years in jail for failing to inform authorites of McVeigh's plan. His sentence was reduced to 12 years after he made a deal and testified against McVeigh.

In the wake of all this, the Federal Government created the nation's smallest national park: The Oklahoma City National Memorial. On one side of the memorial is a giant brass wall that reads "9:01" and on the opposite side is an identical brass wall that reads "9:03" and in between the two are 168 empty self-illuminating chairs and a reflecting pool. Also on the site is the Survivor tree. The tree was part of the building's original landscaping and got blown up with the rest of the building, but survived the encounter.. though it is a bit gnarled.

The Memorial itself has an interesting story, as the raw materials used in its construction are from all over the world. The granite for the reflecting pool is from Canada. The soil lawn material is from London. Components of the 168 chairs were made in California, Oklahoma, and New Hampshire. The granite panels that list the names of the Bombing survivors were recovered from the remains of the Murrah Building before it was imploded.

A lot has happened in the interim.. we've had September 11, 2001 that rocked our world, and when New York and The Pentagon needed it, we sent our veteran rubble rescuers up to lend a hand as they did for us 6 years earlier.

Today is the 10th anniversary of the bombing, and there's lots of stuff going on. The President is going to be in town I believe, and the Memorial is holding special exhibits all this month. There's also some televised coverage for you all to see. Everyone else was deciding to do all this stuff, so I thought that I'd just contribute my small corner of the web to that effort.

Special mad props to the Official OKC Memorial Website for most of the statistics I included. Check them out over at http://www.oklahomacitynationalmemorial.org/index.htm

Also, bonus props to NewsOK.com for helping me dig up the specific charges against those explosive brigands. http://www.newsok.com



Sahara
Submitted Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 1:55:31 PM by Klaitu

Once upon a time, in a theater near me, I swore never to watch another Matthew McConaughey film ever. He has the emotional range of a tree stump, and nothing short of a diabolical choice of movie roles. Time after he time he pops up in one stinker after another, as if to say "I'm Matthew McConaughey, I suck, my movies suck, I DARE you to stop watching them!"

Angels in the Outfield
A Time to Kill
Contact
Edtv
U-571
Reign of Fire
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Were any of these movies any good? No, no they weren't.. and yet somehow, someway I've seen every single one of them. We all knew McConaughey sucked after Contact.. and even those of us who were bluntskulls got the hint after Reign of Fire. Still, McConaughey sneaks himself into our lives somehow.

The story of how I saw Sahara is nearly as amazing as the film itself.. which either makes my story really interesting, or the movie really blah. You see, it all started when we went out to eat with my Aunt and Uncle. It was good times, with pleasant conversation.. but soon enough, the meal was over and the discussion turned to "what now?". My Aunt and Uncle had seen Sahara before and they recommended that we go and see it.

To be sure, readers, I did speak up and mention that McConaughey was in the film, and that to date he has only produced crap movies not worthy of anyone's time or attention. My warnings fell on deaf ears, and minutes later we were all crammed into the car on the way to the theater.

When we arrived, it seemed that I had lucked out. We had missed the start time for the showing, and the next one was much too late for my parents. I was breathing a sigh of relief until someone mentioned "Hey wait, don't they have like 20 minutes of previews before the show begins?".

My heart sank.

As you know, dear readers, the coming attractions these days are usually the most enjoyable part of the moviegoing experience. Many times the trailers are of superior quality to the actual film you are about to see, and so cutting the trailers out seems like a self-defeating purpose.

So as we sat down in our seats and caught the trail end of the last trailer, I was set for an evening of poor acting and uninteresting storyline. At least if would give me something to write about.

As it turns out, I was about 60% right in my prediction.

Sahara is a sort of lighthearted adventure. McConaughey is a sort of underwater treasure hunter who digs up shipwrecks and the archaeloogical goodies contained within. He's been obsessed with the story of the CSS Texas, a Civil War Ironclad that supposedly sailed across the ocean and made it to Africa.

This brings me to problem number 1 with Sahara. In all of the Civil War, there were only ever 2 Ironclads that made it out of drydock. The Monitor and the CSS Virginia.. perhaps you've heard of them. The reason you've heard of them is because they were the only two functional Ironclads even built during the Civil War.

The CSS Texas was unfinished at the end of the Civil War. It was captured while still in port at Richmond in 1865. The North towed it to Norfolk where it was sold for scrap a couple years later.

This bothered me a great deal while watching the movie. In the movie, the Ironclad carried a huge payload of Confederate golden dollars. Why would you put a payload of golden dollar coins on an Ironclad, which is built only for river and coastal sailing? You've got me!

Now, my having told you the "legendary" story of the CSS Texas and how it supposedly made it to Africa, you now know what happens at the end of the movie. They find the CSS Texas in the middle of the Sahara desert. Which brings me to problem number 2: Ironclads are not seaworthy.

One of the features of the Ironclads is that they were very low in the water, and therefore harder to hit with a cannon. If you've ever seen pictures of an Ironclad, you'd know that they barely stick up out of the water at all.. maybe at most 10 or 12 feet. They talk about this a little in the film, and it's supposed to add to McConaughey's eccentricity.. that he believes there's a ship in Africa when it's unlikely that it's there at all.. but the movie really does overlook something important. It's not just improbable that the CSS Texas could have made it to Africa.. it's impossible. As in there is zero chance that any ironclad could have made it across any ocean. In fact, the only Ironclad sunk during the Civil War (The Monitor) was sunk because they towed it into the ocean too far during a storm.

Okay, so I'll overlook those glaring problems with the film and just continue on.

There's also a W.H.O. (That's World Health Organization) doctor played by Penelope Cruz. She's looking for the source of a strange disease afflicting people in Nigeria. There's a mysterious man in black following her around, and finally, they have a confrontation on the beach. The Man in Black has the upper hand, and just when she's about to get knifed.. guess what happens!

Go on, guess!

Oh, I'll tell you anyway.. McConaughey saves her! This brings me to problem number 3: Action scenes that don't actually contain action.

McConaughey presumably beats up Cruz'z assailants, but you wouldn't know it from watching the movie. They cut to a guy punching a guy, and then there's like a sihlouette of a knife, and some screams.. and the next thing you know, Cruz wakes up on McConaughey's ship. It's cheaper for filmmakers to just pretend like there's action than to actually go ahead and actually show the action.

So, as it turns out.. McConaughey's lost Ironclad and Cruz's Patient Zero happen to be in the same place, so she hitches a ride with him. They get on a speed boat and head up the river to (insert unimportant African nation here). Cruz gets off the boat at a dock, and McConaughey presses on, where he is assaulted by "the bad guys". This beings us to problems 4 and 5.

Problem 4 is relatively minor after all those previous ones, but I'll mention it anyway. The big bad guy in this movie is an "Evil African Warlord". It seems you can't have a movie set in Africa without evil African warlords thwarting your heroes. I mean, that's like being stuck in the desert and having bedouins appear on top of the dune ridges.. OH WAIT! That happens too! That would be Problem 5.

The Evil African Warlord's army is after McConaughey and his boat.. and apparently they are so proficient a nuisance that McConaughey and company must explode their boat and jump into the river to escape (you know, so the bad guys think they're dead). Remember this part, because I'm coming back to it later.

McConaughey deduces that they're after Cruz for some reason, so they go and rescue her from the Evil Warlord. They then track down the source of the disease.. it's not actually a disease at all, it's a poison coming from a hazardous materials disposal company inexplicably built in the desert for no apparent reason.. and not only is it a hazardous materials disposals facility.. it's a SOLAR POWERED one at that. I kept waiting for the line "Mr. Powers, welcome to my Secret Solar Powered Desert Lair". (It never came)

So, why should we care about these contimants of the water supply of a third world African nation? Well, because if these pollutants make it to the ocean, it will KILL ALL LIFE IN THE OCEAN THROUGHOUT THE WORLD! Like me, you may be wondering how this is even possible.. it's a good thing the movie explains why. "It's Salt Water". Thanks, William H. Macy, for explaining.

Alright, now remember when I told you to remember.. about McConaughey jumping off his boat to escape the Evil Warlord's army? Well, turns out he jumped smack into the POLLUTED RIVER that is going to DESTROY ALL LIFE IN THE WORLD'S OCEANS. He appears to be none the worse for wear in the experience. He is still able to beat up the man in black and throw him into a solar collecting mirror AND prevent the toxic chemicals from destroying the oceans.

On top of that, he has Cruz just throw dynamite around randomly while being chased by the Evil Warlord's helicopter.. and guess what? He discovers the CSS Texas! What a lucky stroke!

So, they use the old Ironclad for cover. After all, "the walls are 2 feet thick solid iron", they're "safe in here" right? Too bad the helicopter has Armor-piercing rounds.. but that's not so much of a problem. If one of your characters says "the walls are 2 feet thick" then your set designer should probably make it so tha the walls are actually.. you know.. 2 feet thick. When the helicopter shoots through the walls, they are obviously more on the order of an inch thick.

So, what do you do when you have a helicopter bearing down on you and you're in a 150 year old ironclad in the middle of the desert? That's right! You fire up the 150 year old cannons and fire at the helicopter! Since you're McConaughey, you can obviously hit the helicopter on your first attempt.

I found this to be most interesting. What exactly happens to a helicopter when it's hit by a cannonball? You don't see that just.. everyday. Well, now I know. According to the movie, nothing happens at all. The Cannonball goes through the canopy of the helicopter and just lands gently in the back. Doesn't even make a dent or anything. I'm not a ballistics expert, but I'm pretty sure a cannonball is going to go straight through both sides of a light, aluminum plated helicopter with much ease.. not that it matters.. they used fireshot, which is a special cannonball that explodes. It kills the evil warlord.

And then Cruz wears a bikini. The highlight of the movie.

Now, I'm trying to not be too hard on the movie.. it did have some good points as well. The wormy sidekick is actually pretty good comic relief. There's really no cussing to speak of in the movie, and there's no nudity at all, which I find completely fascinating in an action movie starring Penelope Cruz.

This movie is a lighthearted adventure/action movie.. think it of the very poor man's Indiana Jones with poor acting from McConaughey, and you get the idea. It's also better if you don't think too much about the movie as you watch it.

Overall Score: 6 of 10



MWRWOORRRRR
Submitted Wednesday, April 13, 2005 - 3:28:12 AM by Klaitu

That's the sound a Lightsaber makes. I thought I would make it in celebration of the upcoming "final" Star Wars movie.. to which I have obtained the soundtrack.

You may have noticed the extreme lack of Star Wars updates on Special K.. that's because I've been keeping oblivious to the spoilers for the movie. Still, I know more than I want to.. stupid teaser trailer.

Anyways, the soundtrack has some very light and tempting spoilers to offer us.

1. The music doesn't suck like it did for "Attack of the Clones". The main Episode 3 theme is a staccato piece that plays itself throughout the score. Also smashed in here (at the end) is the Episode 4 main theme, which is a cool throwback.

2. The music for Obi-Wan vs Anakin is track number 9 of 14.. so I expect that should take place a little more than halfway through the movie.

3. There is a track titled "Enter Lord Vader". The title is way more ominous than the music.

4. There is a track titled "The Immolation Scene". For those of you who are dunderheads, "immolation" means "burned up". As in.. funeral pyre! For who? My money is on Natalie Portman.. but who knowe? This track comes BEFORE a track entitled "The Birth of the Twins".

5. The "Birth of the Twins" track is wicked cool.. It's exposition music.. that is, quiet music that the actors can talk over easily, but it just has a mysterious feel to it that's totally "wicket". (get it, I said WICKET!)

6. More "Birth of the Twins" the track ends with the "burning Qui-Gon" music from Episode 1. Whoops. Okay, maybe she dies HERE, but that would cause problems in Episode 6 that I won't even get into here.. you nerds know what I'm talking about.

7. I dunno if it's just me, or maybe the copy I got.. but the traditional Star Wars musical fare (opening title and end credits) seems to be played at a slightly slower tempo than I remember.

Okay, so now you guys have my scoop.. the only scoop I'm going after about Star Wars Episode 3. I wanna be as suprised as possible.. well, as suprised as someone can get knowing that Anakin is going to betray everyone and whatnot.



Van Helsing
Submitted Tuesday, April 12, 2005 - 11:51:35 PM by Klaitu

More like "Man, Smellscene!"

HA!

Okay, so it's not THAT bad, but it's really not that good either.

Van Helsing tells the story of a "secret agent" of the catholic church in the late 19th century who travels the world thwarting famous monsters.. such as Mr. Hyde, Dracula, and Frankenstein's monster.

Oh yeah, and he's also "the left hand of God" whatever that means.

The main antagonist here is Dracula, who can't be killed, except by a werewolf. Armed with this knowledge, what do you think Van Helsing does to defeat Dracula? Yeah, he turns into a werewolf. Unexciting.

I can't say that Van Helsing is a terrible movie, it does have some cool ideas in it. In particular, the Van Helsing rendition of Frankenstein's Monster is very impressive. His right leg even lets off steam when he walks because he is part machine. Very neat design.

Aside from the less-than-stellar story, I think the main problem with Van Helsing is the musical score. It's horrible. There really is no tune to it, and at one point the "adventure" theme carries over into an exposition scene. It's very distracting.

Another problem with the film is an overdependance on CGI effects. The movie is chock full of unneccessary CGI, and most of the time it's completely fake looking. The only time that the effects are impressive are with Frankensteins Monster, or when the Vampires transform from "CGI Vampire" mode to "Real Human with fangs" mode. The transformation is subtle and pretty good.

Van Helsing is not a complete waste of time, but it's not something you'd go out of your way to see. If you were sitting on the couch watching TV and it came on.. and you lost your remote and couldn't change the channel, and were too lazy to get up.. you could sit through it without going insane.

Overall Score: 3 of 10



Stimulating Conversation
Submitted Sunday, April 10, 2005 - 11:56:33 PM by Klaitu

It's not often that I get to have a truly interesting online conversation these days.. but I came across one earlier today, and I thought I would share it here!

Oh, and "Lucas" is me.

Lucas: superman and kittens are best friends
Lucas: but I get this vibe you have this thing for superman
Lucas: it's the tights, isn't it?
beth: naw, it's that he can fly
Lucas: Lots of superheroes can fly, though
beth: yeah but superman is pretty much the man
beth: that's all there is to it
Lucas: Pff, he's the ALIEN man
beth: yeah, now that's hot
Lucas: so, if ALF could fly, you'd be all up ons?
Lucas: If ALF could fly, I'd hope he wouldnt poop on my car
beth: haha, yeah that would suck
beth: alf has WAY too much hair though
Lucas: The blind girl thought his hair was sexy
Lucas: she was the only one allowed to hang out with ALF, because she was blind, and apparently stupid, too
beth: haha, seriously
Lucas: If I told you that I knew her name, would that make me a geek?
beth: absolutely
Lucas: then I better not say any more about Jody the stupid blind girl
Part 2:
Lucas: Leave it to Bill Paxton to kill a conversation
Lucas: curse you, Bill Paxton.. I'll get you.. NEXT time
beth: haha
beth: right
Lucas: I'm going to cut out a picture of him and stereotypically tape it to a dartboard, which I will then hang on the most dangerous place in the room: my door.
beth: haha, that's a great idea
Lucas: First, though, I have to take off the picture of Joey Lawrence
beth: why do you hate him!?
beth: he's Matthew Lawrence's brother!
beth: you have to like him because of that
Lucas: yes, but look at his taste.. he was attracted to Mayim Bialik
beth: but he's related to Matthew Lawrence
Lucas: Yeah, but he's not..
Lucas: it's like me and Rachey.. she's hip and stuff, and I'm an expert on really bad 80's shows
Lucas: and we're related
beth: but still, you're related
Lucas: yeah.. so Joey can be a complete dork, and Matthew can be cool
Lucas: but Mayim Bialik.. her line needs to die
Lucas: She gave up acting and became a scientist
beth: Joey is a dork but because he's related to Matthew you should not throw darts at him
Lucas: it probably has something to do with her giant, unwieldy nose
Lucas: Well, I'm taking his picture down!
Lucas: I had previously thrown darts at him.. but now I'm going to throw them at Bill Paxton..
beth: good deal
Lucas: but I feel now that I should throw them at that hork Mayim Bialik
beth: i have no idea who that is
Lucas: Blossom
beth: i never saw that show
Lucas: That saying "i never saw that show" is a lot like saying "I was spared the apocalypse"
Lucas: because the show was horrible
Lucas: Did you see the Karate Kid?
beth: yeah
Lucas: Okay, take the Karate Kid kid.. make his nose EVEN BIGGER, and then turn him into a whiny teenage girl who doesn't know karate
beth: haha
Lucas: You have blossom
beth: yeah she's ugly
Lucas: She's so ugly, she makes pretty people around her look even uglier
Lucas: she's like a black hole of ugly
beth: that's unfortunate
Lucas: (pssst.. I don't like her at all)
Lucas: hehe
beth: i got that
beth: :)
Lucas: now I need to know if she ever grew into her nose though
Lucas: and that means pictures
Lucas: I sure hope she was never in a porno
beth: haha
beth: true that
Lucas: holy freakin crap
Lucas: http://images1.moviemarket.co.uk/library/photos/174/174175.jpg
Lucas: MY EYESSSS!!!
Lucas: I'm BLIND!
beth: haha
Lucas: Do they have a medicine for whatever she has?
beth: i'm not sure
beth: but if they don't, they should
So, those of you whose internet is broken.. I'm pretty sure this conversation is why. It just wasn't designed with this brilliant discussion in mind.



Richard Garriott
Submitted Friday, April 8, 2005 - 4:47:57 PM by Klaitu

Woah! Old Icon! I pulled out of the old Herald archives.. that's why it's kinda krusty-lookin. I was feeling nostalgic, though.. so there you go.

Anyways, today I saw an episode of G4's Icons and the subject this time around was Richard Garriott. He's a pretty freaky kinda guy, but I'll tell you, that guy can design games like nobody's business.

He really hasn't done too much as of late, so it's nice to see him in action again, even if it is for his own bio show. I hope he comes out with something new and cool in the future.

In the meantime, keep your eyes open for the Richard Garriott episode of Icons. I highly recommend it!



No More Pope
Submitted Friday, April 8, 2005 - 3:32:50 PM by Klaitu

At least, no more of this particular pope. His funeral was today, and because of the time difference, you probably completely missed the whole thing.. considering that it started at 3 AM and ended at 6 AM. I'm not Catholic, but I decided to stay up and watch it because I was curious about the whole thing. When the last pope died, I was 6 months old.. so I pretty much missed that one.

Strangely, the only other time I have been inside a Catholic church (during a service) was at the funeral of my Great-grandmother in Kansas. Some things in the pope's funeral were similar, but a lot og things were different.. I assume that's just because he's the pope, and she was just a nobody.

To commence their proceedings, they took the pope (now inside his coffin) and they put him out in a large, outdoor rotunda.. along with 800,000 spectators who were participating in the funeral.

Among the spectators.. not only our own President Bush, but other world leaders as well. The leader of Iran was even there. The assembly was quite a diverse crowd. Most were Catholics, of course, but there were also Jewish guys, Muslim guys, and Orthodox guys.

After they put the pope down in the middle of a rug on a giant dais, you could see his coffin. It was a simple box made of Cyprus, and it had no hinges.. so I assume it was nailed shut. On the top face of the coffin were a cross, and the letter "M". I was curious about the "M" myself. As it turns out, it is the catholic symbol for "Mary" the mother of Jesus that the Catholics also worship.

A guy in pink clothes came around and placed a giant red book on the top of the casket. Initially, the guy had opened the book so that it was roughly half the pages on one side, and half on the other.. but the wind inside the rotunda blew the pages around throughout the service, and eventually closed the book. The pages appeared to be completely blank.. but that just might hae been the crummy cameras they were using to cover the event.

Following that, another guy came around with a big silver pot on a chain. I'm sure they have a name for this thing, but I'll just call it a teapot.. because it looks like one. Anyways, they were burning incense inside the teapot, and the smoke was coming out every which way. This would have seemed very odd to me, but this also happened in the funeral for my Great-Grandma. The smoke is a representation of prayer.. in that it floats up and disappears. The incense inside represents self-sacrifice.. apparently the incense is a special blend of stuff that is completely destroyed when it burns.

Then, they had two different people read scriptures from the Bible. One was in spanish, and one was in English. The Spanish verse was translated inaccurately, probably by the on-hand interpreter they were using.. and also considering it was converted from Spanish instead of Greek or Latin. The English verse was almost exactly correct.

Now, throughout this process, there was also some singing by the Sistene Chapel Choir, which is a boys choir. They generally would sing whenever there was a lull in the proceedings.. such as between the two readings, and while the guy was smoking the teapot. They were accompanied by a giant pipe organ, which is apparently so loud that it can be heard outside.

At that point, the "Big Cheese" (he had the biggest hat) gave his eulogy.. though the Catholics call it something else.. a homily. A homily is essentially another word that means "oration". He recounted the pope's life, recalling his experiences during World War 2 and loosely tracing his career as a priest, bishop, cardinal, and pope. Incidentally, he was the 267th pope, and the only non-italian one in 455 years.

After the eulogy, things got a little bit confusing for me, as they went into their Catholic chanting. I experienced this part before in mt Great-Grandmother's funeral. Essentially what happens is that one person yells out something, and then the congregation yells something back in response. This time, though, they were singing it. The proper term for this is a Litany. Essentially, this is a pre-rehearsed prayer.

This sort of thing is virtually nonexistant in Protestant churches.. Litanies I mean.. so I was somewhat taken aback by it. It probably didn't help my perception much that the entire thing was in Latin.. or maybe Italian. It was hard to distinguish. The longest, and most droning of the Litanies that they performed was the "Litany of the Saints". In this one, the leader would sing out the names of various saints.. I think about 30 or so all together. The congregation would respond in latin. As best I could tell, they were saying "pray for us". Which would make sense.. They're praying to their saints asking the saints to pray for them. I'm pretty confident I got that right. The entire Litany took something like 10 minute, with each saint getting the exact same notes for their chant. It was a bit repetitive.

Around that time (maybe it was before the Litany) there was a guy who asked permission to "Sing the scripture" from the guy with the giant miter on. He then went and retrieved an ornately decorated silver-covered book.. which I assume was a Catholic Bible. He took it over to the podium and began to sing.. once again in Latin. I'm just assuming that he was singing Bible verses.

As some point in here they did communion.. communion for the 200,000 people crammed inside the rotunda.. it's a good thing they had 350 priests out there with communion wafers. It only took them like 20 minutes or so to complete the process. Incidentally, Catholics believe in the Transmutation of Communion.. That is, Communion being a symbolic reenactment of the Last Supper, they believe that the bread actually becomes the flesh of Jesus and that the wine becomes the blood of Jesus through a miracle process called transmutation. Some protestants believe in transmutation as well.. I didn't know the Catholics did. Learn something new every day!

After that, they had some Greek Orthodox guys come out and stand around the coffin. They did some of their own moaning and chanting.. only this time it was all in Greek. The Roman Catholic Pope is apparently also the Pope of the Eastern Orthodox churches as well, even though they don't really do anything the Roman Catholic church wants them to do.

With that done, and the Sistene Chapel Choir singing, they went and picked up the coffin and took it to the door, where they rotated it back around so the people could see it one last time, and then they took it inside.

The didn't show what happened after that, but they did describe it. Before John Paul II, there was John Paul I. He's the one that died 6 months after I was born.. and before John Paul I, there was a pope named Paul VI.. BUT before that guy, there was John XXIII. He was buried under St. Peters Basilica in 1963.. but some time after his death, he was beatified, and his body was removed from the Basilica. John Paul II's body will now occupy the place that John XXIII's body once held, underneath the Basilica. Along with his body, he was buried with all sorts of medals that he had won over the years.

Popes are buried underneath the Basilica because they believe that it was built on top of the final resting place of the Disciple Peter (who they also claim was the first pope). In case you're wondering, he died on June 29, 67. He was crucified upside down.

An event like this really helps to demonstrate the differences and the similarities between Catholicism and Protestantism. When I was a teen, I went to a Baptist Christian School.. and many was the time when they would lament the actions of those "evil tradition-bound Catholics". When I got older, I realized that the Southern Baptists are just as much tradition-bound as the group that they claim to be so against. I did, however, get to learn about a lot of Catholic beliefs.. albeit in the "This is what not to do" form.

Listen up, because I'm about to enlighten you as to one of the most frequently asked questions by non-christians.. "What's the difference?".

Between Protestants and Catholics, there are a bunch of little difference, but there are 3 super-huge major differences that make the two incompatible belief systems. Are you ready for this?

1. Authority of Scripture
Protestants believe that the Bible is God's word, and that you can't supercede God's word with anything.. because, well.. it's the word of God.. and you don't really get any higher up in the chain of command than God.

Catholics believe that the Bible is only part of God's plan for people. They believe that the traditions of the church are just as important (and in some cases more important) than the Bible. They also believe that the Pope can supercede scripture with church legislation.

2. Method of Salvation
As best as I can describe it, Catholics believe in the "Santa Claus" kind of salvation. If you behave well, and do good deeds, then when you die you will go to heaven (get toys). If you behave in an evil manner, and are generally a nasty person, when you die, you will go to hell (lump of coal). Essentially, you earn salvation by what you do.. and don't think this is a mocking paragraph, because Catholics came up with Santa Claus in the first place.

The Protestant way is different. Protestants believe that you make a decision to commit your life to God by accepting that Jesus is your savior. After that, you behave in a good manner and do good deeds out of a natural desire to please God, but your entrance to Heaven is not dependant upon what you have or have not done.

3. Intercessors
Protestants have a pretty simply heirarchy: you pray to God.. in any situation that could ever possibly happen, the only One you pray to is God. This is a position based on scripture.

Catholics have it different. They pray to God, but also pray to Mary.. or, in fact, they can pray to any number of canonized saints who are said to be intercessors.. particularly in situations that the saint was involved with. IF your country was inveded with snakes, for instance, you'd probably pray to St. Patrick.

You can also see the difference in the form of confessionals. Catholics go into a confessional, confess their sins, and then are given an appropriate punishment for their sin.

Protestants admit their sin to God, and He forgives it with no strings attached.

But.. with all these differences, Catholics and Protestant share some common beliefs. One such belief: In so far as humans can be, Pope John Paul II was good guy, and his accomplishments are worthy or rememberance.



Historical Ratings
Submitted Thursday, April 7, 2005 - 8:38:22 PM by Klaitu

Because I know you all give a hoot!

Nielsen ratings directly affect what you see on TV, and the placement of networks in the ratings helps to determine what kind of shows get made. That's why you hardly ever see Sci-Fi shows on Network television, and instead, you see oodles of reality TV on Network TV.

So, what were the highest rated TV programs in history, and why?

1
M*A*S*H Special
CBS
60.2
Feb. 28, 1983


Everyone loves M*A*S*H. Well, almost everyone. Personally, I can't stand the show. The Korean War Hospital program had started in 1972. The particular program listed above was the series finale.

2
Dallas
CBS
53.3
Nov. 21, 1980


Dallas had an even longer run than that of M*A*S*H. It ran from 1978 to 1991, and has produced 2 feature films (one of which is due out this year). The episode that aired on November 21, 1980 was entitled "Who Done It?" and it answered the question "Who Shot J.R.?". For those of you really curious, it was Sue Ellen, played by Linda Gray.

3
Roots Pt. VIII
ABC
51.1
Jan. 30, 1977


The famous miniseries, Roots. As you may have guessed, Roots has 8 parts, making the January 30, 1977 showing the finale of the Roots story. Roots aired on consecutive nights, because ABC feared that nobody would watch it if they played only one part per week (which was standard practice back then).

4
Super Bowl XVI Game
CBS
49.1
Jan. 24, 1982


I dunno anything about Football. It was San Francisco vs Cincinnati.

5
Super Bowl XVII Game
NBC
48.6
Jan 30, 1983


Apparently the Football fans didn't get enough the previous year. This one is Washington vs Miami.

6
XVII Winter Olympics - Wed-2
CBS
48.5
Feb. 23, 1994


I know, you're asking yourself.. how did the Winter Olympics get such high ratings? Especially considering that this is the most recent "top 10" entry. Well, I have an answer for you: This was the night that Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan went head-to-head.

7
Super Bowl XX Game
NBC
48.3
Jan. 26, 1986


chicago vs New England. Snore.

8
Gone With The Wind-Pt.1 (Big Event-Pt 1)
NBC
47.7
Nov. 7, 1976


Gone with the Wind was first released in Theaters waay back in 1939.. It's entry into the "top 10" is somewhat mysterious, then.. until you account for one thing: in 1976, the VCR had not yet been invented, and cable TV did not yet exist. People were entirely dependant on the Networks for what they saw on TV.

9
Gone With The Wind-Pt.2 (NBC Mon.Mov.)
NBC
47.4
Nov. 8, 1976


Fewer people watched the second part, apparently. Shame, now they'll never know what happened!

10
Super Bowl XII Game
CBS
47.2
Jan. 15, 1978


Snore. Dallas vs Denver.

So, there you have it. The top 10 TV of all time, as determined by ratings.



JAG Going Down
Submitted Wednesday, April 6, 2005 - 1:57:59 PM by Klaitu

Yep, that's right, you heard it here: JAG has been cancelled! For those of you who don't know, this is good news, because the show has totally tanked in the last season.. and they also have this problem where their main cast member is bailing.

I am glad they decided to cancel it.. now everything can be resolved satisfactorily.

Oh, and the final episode just happens to air on my birthday.. how's that for crazy?

The official release:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- The drama series "JAG," which mixed real war and conflict with fiction, is ending after a 10-year run.

The final episode will air 9 p.m. April 29, CBS announced Monday.

Canceled after a single season on NBC, the show was picked up by CBS and became a reliable ratings performer and part of the network's turnaround, said CBS Chairman Leslie Moonves.

But the series' popularity had begun to ebb. It was averaging 9.8 million weekly viewers for the season to date, compared to 14.8 million viewers in the 2001-02 season.

"We've had an amazing run, particularly for a series that was once canceled," show creator Donald P. Bellisario said. "Over the last 10 years we have had an opportunity to shine a spotlight on our armed forces and call attention to issues of significant importance to our country as well as the men and women who serve it."

In one episode, a member of the JAG team was severely wounded by an Afghan mine while on assignment abroad.

Last February, series star David James Elliott, who plays Cmdr. Harmon "Harm" Rabb Jr., announced plans to leave when the 10th season ended. He has a series development deal with ABC and Touchstone Television.

The series co-stars Catherine Bell, Patrick Labyorteaux, Scott Lawrence and Zoe McLellan.

Bellisario, a former Marine, gained permission to film at locations including the Camp Pendleton and North Island Naval Air Station military bases in California and on aircraft carriers at sea.



Zod
Submitted Tuesday, April 5, 2005 - 11:18:19 PM by Klaitu

Alright, this isn't really about a film, even though it has the film icon. Why does it have the film icon? The answer is in the title. Don't you remember Zod?

For those of you non-nerds, Zod was the leader of the evil trio that the kryptonians trapped in a pane of glass.. err.. *AHEM* I mean "The Phantom Zone".. just before Krypton exploded. The wreaked havoc down on Earth in Superman II.

Well, as it so turns out, Zod has a blog, and I must say, it is well worth reading.

Need further motivation?

I was able to devour these "Everlasting Gobstoppers" within mere seconds. I crushed them in between my teeth, and I could hear their screams with every mighty bite. Your "Everlasting Gobstopper" technology has failed you. They cannot stop me. I have defeated them. I ate them and the boxes in which they were contained. And neither proved to be "everlasting".
http://www.generalzod.net/



Rules of the Evil Overlord
Submitted Tuesday, April 5, 2005 - 4:56:16 AM by Klaitu

This thing is a hundred years old, I read it way back when I worked at AOL.. and now it's resurfaced. Enjoy!


  1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.


  2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.


  3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.


  4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.


  5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be
    kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the
    Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same
    applies to the object which is my one weakness.


  6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.


  7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before
    you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll
    say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say
    "No."


  8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married
    immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three
    weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.


  9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless
    absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red
    button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do
    Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid
    enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly
    be labelled as such.


  10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.


  11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel
    no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving
    my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.


  12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child.
    Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
    implementation.


  13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have
    several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at
    the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as
    any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the
    aforementioned disposal.


  14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.


  15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown.
    If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it
    to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting
    his plan into operation.


  16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."


  17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.


  18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably
    under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would
    provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.


  19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as
    she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd
    betray her own father.


  20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not
    indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss
    unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust
    to accordingly.


  21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original
    uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs
    that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or
    savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops
    to have a more positive mind-set.


  22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.


  23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train
    my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to
    neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy
    weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of
    savages armed with spears and rocks.


  24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and
    weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at
    least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM
    INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)


  25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never
    construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible
    except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.


  26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion
    are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate
    to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner
    sent to my bedchamber.


  27. I will never build only one of anything important. All
    important systems will have redundant control panels and power
    supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully
    loaded weapons at all times.


  28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.


  29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.


  30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards,
    and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My
    foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source
    of comic relief.


  31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be
    replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no
    unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his
    sidekick.


  32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings
    me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers
    are hard to come by.


  33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my
    organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a
    more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black
    leather will be reserved for formal occasions.


  34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.


  35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you
    look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of
    Generation X.


  36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same
    cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I
    will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing
    out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.


  37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are
    losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted
    lieutenant.


  38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or
    offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately,
    instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance
    towards me in my old age.


  39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly
    not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out
    my opposite number among his army.


  40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an
    unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as
    possible instead of keeping it in reserve.


  41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.


  42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his
    dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable
    of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.


  43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I
    capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power
    and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her
    in on my plans.


  44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money.
    Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like
    even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.


  45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is
    responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general
    screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is
    the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random
    underling.


  46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man.
    What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the
    advisor.


  47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to
    destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of
    waiting for him to mature.


  48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or
    technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever
    broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.


  49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can
    destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I
    will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in
    the local paper.


  50. My main computers will have their own special operating
    system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and
    Macintosh powerbooks.


  51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over
    the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately
    transfer him to a less people-oriented position.


  52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and
    surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and
    abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.


  53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never
    marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and
    kill her.


  54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.


  55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have
    their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on
    important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first
    see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less
    attention.


  56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic
    marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10
    meters will be used for target practice.


  57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.


  58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.


  59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.


  60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to
    decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in
    under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to
    passwords.


  61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such
    a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that
    satisfies them.


  62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or
    protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a
    firefight.


  63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not
    compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about
    flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.


  64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all
    extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could
    prove to be a disadvantage.


  65. If I must have computer systems with publically available
    terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly
    marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution
    Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow
    Containment.


  66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner.
    Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad
    for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that
    sequence will trigger the alarm system.


  67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards
    will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a
    full-scale emergency.


  68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the
    past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so.
    However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them
    again, they'd better save my life again.


  69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies
    will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed
    in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures
    of the wild.


  70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will
    always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that
    if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will
    immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of
    quizzically peering around a corner.


  71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if
    he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad
    of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.


  72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange
    device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon
    instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.


  73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a
    rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for
    them to win.


  74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan
    designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the
    details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it
    lying on top of my desk.


  75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en
    masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and
    attack one or two at a time.


  76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after
    him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I
    will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a
    rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)


  77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give
    the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will
    retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out
    of earshot before making the offer.


  78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken
    alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is
    reasonably practical."


  79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse
    switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made
    into limited-edition commemorative coins.


  80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send
    out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger
    ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.


  81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform,
    have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind
    me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning
    around to find out what he saw.


  82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing
    in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced
    structure.


  83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his
    goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new
    drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to
    switch with him.


  84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.


  85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is
    horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred
    altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse."
    Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."


  86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.


  87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.


  88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will
    not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try
    the task again.


  89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not
    immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe
    whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the
    weapon and I took it from him.


  90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.


  91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted
    and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current
    entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.


  92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt
    him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new
    insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone
    for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the
    path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)


  93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an
    underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is
    scheduled to go first.


  94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.


  95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff
    complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his
    cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a
    trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.


  96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the
    control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control
    panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.


  97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.


  98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will
    carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and
    affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced
    them together against their will and they spend all their time
    bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent
    occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there
    are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.


  99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.


  100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a
    mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited
    Internet access.




Man vs Machine
Submitted Monday, April 4, 2005 - 3:29:38 AM by Klaitu

I don't know what your A/V Home Theater system wiring is like.. but mine is like the very beginnings of skynet. You know in the Matrix, when they are in the "real world" and there's all that extra wires and crap coming out of every crevasse on the ship? Yeah, that's my system.. except my system has more wires, and it's infinitely more tangled up. Heck, for all I know, Neo could be hooked in there right now, supported by a large number of seemingly autonomous cablings.

I haven't seen it yet, but I'm pretty sure there's a talking machine head in there somewhere, too.

Well anywhoo, today my dad hauled home a DVD recorder to hook into the system.. and guess who gets to go back and plug it into the whole system? ME, that's who. It's not so much that I'm complaining about my having to do it, as I am complaining about how silly the entire design of electronic equipment is today.

Let's talk for a moment about S-Video cables. S-Video is that mid-range quality between Component video and composite video. We haven't switched to HD yet, so S-video is fine for our needs.. However, the cables themselves were designed my monkeys smoking monkey crack! S-Video cables have a "top" and a "bottom", and they're only going into their appropriate hole one way..

And really, that's not a big deal if you can actually see the hole that you're plugging the wire into. Sometimes, even if you can't actually see the holes, you can guess that "Top" will be up and "bottom" will be down.

Then there are people like Denon. Denon manufactures really good amplifiers. Really good except for two problems: The S-video ports are made of black plastic embedded in black plastic, which means that is impossible to see which way the S-Video cable goes.. and that brings me to the second problem: "Top" is not up! "Top" isn't even "right", "left", or "bottom"! It's between "Top" and "left". Who the heck thought THAT was a good idea?

It only took me about 20 minutes to plug in 3 cords.. and then when I had it all hooked up, guess what? It didn't freakin work! Why didn't it work? My guess is that I jiggered one of the S-video ports when I was trying to jam this square peg into a round hole.

Maybe I should have gotten the hint when I had to make a wiring diagram of the whole thing so that I could make sense of it all.


In case you're wondering, that's what happens when you break 2 of the 3 output jacks on your amplifier. You get.. "creative".

And lest you think that seems pretty simple, that diagram represents 21 different cables.. that's 42 connections to be made.. and if you still think it's child's play, all 21 cords have been tied into knots by cute, playful kittens.

Another complaint I have is directed solely at the guy who invented screw-on coaxial cables. You, sir, are a terrorist!

In the end, no amount of poor design or kitten-induced knotting could keep me away from the ultimate prize: full functionality.

Penny Arcade feels my pain:
Except my shirt has a picture of Johnny 5 from Short Circuit on it.

I always do my wiring with clean underwear.. that's a little treat for the paramedics and/or coroner.

Original Article



Reverse Easter!
Submitted Saturday, April 2, 2005 - 3:09:12 AM by Klaitu

Alright, so Easter was last week.. but if you missed it, you can still catch the free webcast of Lifechurch's Easter service, which I must say is most delicious.

http://www.lifechurch.tv/okc_new/webcasts.php

The Easter series is called "Doubters Anonymous". For those of you who haven't checked out lifechurch, i'll bet you haven't seen much chuch like it.



Clearing Up Confusion
Submitted Saturday, April 2, 2005 - 2:50:25 AM by Klaitu

There are some people out there who believe that Gaeta is a Cylon. They apparently really want him to be a Cylon, and they're looking for "Cylonny things" he might be doing.

One of these things was the possible "giving the gun" to Boomer so that she, in turn, could create a cliffhanger for the end of the episode. They base this on the camera focussing on a handshake between Gaeta and Boomer just before "the cliffhanger" happens.

In an effort to thwart these silly people, I have taken the liberty to produce evidence to the contrary.. namely that Boomer had the gun when entering the CIC at the beginning of the scene.



This has earned me some nerd points, so those of you keeping score at home, adjust your tally accordingly!



Curse you, Darth Vader
Submitted Friday, April 1, 2005 - 12:48:11 PM by Klaitu

M&M's have joined the Dark Side.

Original Article



Reviews in Review
Submitted Friday, April 1, 2005 - 2:59:27 AM by Klaitu

After doing my review for Ray, it got me to thinking how I rate things, so I decided to run a couple searches through the archives.

The list is biassed toward the higher end of the spectrum. I attribute this to the fact that I prescreen the crappy stuff most of the time. There are also many movies that I have seen before I started Special K, and most of those are not reviewed. Movies like "You Got Served" which would ordinarly go at the bottom of the list are sometimes not present.

My rating system is, essentially, a ranking of how much I liked the movie. Your mileage may vary.

10 of 10:
There aren't any 10 of 10's, and I will never award a 10 of 10 because no film is perfect.

9 of 10:
Ray
TiVo Hardware
Battlestar Galactica 2004
Sly Cooper 2 (VG)
Punky Brewster Season 1
Hero
The Last Samurai
School of Rock
Secondhand Lions
Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars
Spider-Man 2
The Passion of the Christ
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

8 of 10:
La Pucelle Tactics (VG)
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time (VG)
Ace Combat 05 (VG)
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (VG)
Space Channel 5 Special Edition (VG)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
The Sims 2
Anchorman
Syberia 2 (VG)
Open Range
The Alien "Quadrilogy" - Aliens
Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy (VG)
The Terminal
Shrek 2

7 of 10:
50 First Dates
Pump Up the Volume
The Matrix Revolutions
Punky Brewster Season 2
Space Quest 6 (VG)
Numb3rs
Def Jam: Fight for NY (VG)
Moulin Rouge
X-Men: Legends
The Punisher (movie)
Napoleon Dynamite
The Princess Diaries 2
The Ladykillers
The Alien "Quadrilogy" - Alien
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

6 of 10:
Daredevil
Smokey Bones (restaurant)
Police Quest 1 VGA (VG)
Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (VG)
Mercenaries (VG)
The Aviator
13 going on 30
The Man Without a Face
Dodgeball
Spy Kids 3
Battlefield: Vietnam (VG)
Red Dead Revolver (VG)
Under the Tuscan Sun
Pink Five (Fan Film)

5 of 10:
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Hostage
Gladius (VG)
Donnie Brasco
Anger Management
Casablanca
The Hulk
Smallville

4 of 10:
Shaolin Soccer
Blade Trinity
World of Warcraft (VG)
Wide Awake
Bridget Jones's Diary
Knights of the Old Republic (VG)
The Prince & Me
The Client
28 Days Later
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

3 of 10:
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Timeline
Return of the King (VG)
Eve Online
The Alien "Quadrilogy" - Alien Resurrection

2 of 10:
Big Fish
How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days
The Alien "Quadrilogy" - Alien 3
Warcraft 3 (VG)
Interview with the Vampire
Time Changer

1 of 10:
Catwoman
Lost in Translation
Contact



Ray
Submitted Friday, April 1, 2005 - 2:34:24 AM by Klaitu

For me, it's easy to overlook many biographical movies. So many times I'll watch one, only to discover that it is nothing more than sensationalized fiction. It's a risky movie format.. it will either really hit well, or be a complete and total miss. Ray is the former.

If you didn't know, the film entitled Ray is about the life and career of Ray Charles. You know who Ray Charles is, and if you don't, well shame on you. His life now is a matter of history, and the plot of the movie follows it pretty well.. to the best of my knowledge. I do not profess to be a Ray Charles expert.

The film spans from his childhood until 1979, when "Georgia on my Mind" was declared the state song of Georgia. The movie has a positive spin, and a good message.

Of course, what Ray Charles movie would be complete without a soundtrack containing tons of Ray Charles music? The real Ray Charles has a voice so distinct, that they actually dub him into the film. Jamie Foxx's portrayal is so convincing that except for a couple brief moments, you actually believe the voice of Ray Charles is coming out of his mouth.

Ray Charles is also famous for his peculiar movements, which Foxx has duplicated amazingly accurately. It is no wonder he was up for a great number of awards in the role.

If the movie has any flaw, it is in the area of rewatchability. I found my first viewing highly entertaining, but I feel that subsequent showings would be pretty boring. This is the case of most biographical films.

This is the best movie that I have seen in a long, long time. A time measured in years, in fact. There is one particular line in the movie that pushed it to the limit for me, spoken by Ray Charles' mother in a dream sequence as he is in withdrawls from heroin:

"You became strong, stronger than I could have ever imagined.. but you still became a cripple"

That's a really cool concept. A man who has been blind since he has been a child doesn't let his blindness turn him into a cripple, but while he's busy with that, he lets drugs turn him into one. It's the old sneak play.

Perhaps, though, the best compliment that I can give this movie is that it is around 2 hours long, and when it was finished, I didn't feel fatigued or bored in the slightest. In fact, I could have gone on for another hour, completely oblivious to the passage of time. There are very few movies that can do that these days.

If you haven't seen Ray, I recommend you get your hands on a copy at your earliest convienience.

Overall Score: 9 of 10