March 2004

Andromeda
Submitted Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 1:19:59 PM by Klaitu

Ahh Andromeda, have you seen it? Well, Sci-Fi Channel has bought it, and you'll be able to catch every single episode of it. Yesterday, I started with the pilot episode, which I had never seen. I must say that had the series contiuned in the same manner as the pilot, it would have been great!

Here's the thing, There's this big "federation of planets" called the "United Systems Commenwealth" and Kevin Sorbo is one of the few proud Captains of the Commonwealth ships of the line. (In other words, he is Kirk in TOS).

Andromeda discovers that their genetically engineered allies have betrayed the Commonwealth, and are planning a giant assault. Andromeda is overwhelmed and plans to slingshot a black hole to escape the attackers. Instead, it gets trapped orbiting the black hole, freezing sorbo in tome for over 300 years.

In the meantime, those allies destroyed the commonwealth, and there is no order in the universe. Technology has also somehow suffered a huge downfall apparently.

Enter the principal cast, who try to salvage the ship from it's orbit in the black hole in order to sell the Nova Bombs (nukes) aboard.

To make a long story short, Sorbo kicks all their butts and then enlists them in his fight to restore the Commonwealth.

That is a very good premise, and the show was casted well.. Sorbo is a pretty good Captain, and Lexa Doig is a pretty hot hologram. So, I got interested in Andromeda about 4 or 5 years ago when it was new.

It went downhill.. fast. There was an episode where some guys had chained like 15 planets together with a giant rope and they were gonna use it as a weapon. I guess they wanted Lexa Doig to have a bigger role, so they somehow made her into "not a hologram" but a hologram at the same time, so she runs around being invincible and kicking everyones butt. She's also desperately in love with the Captain, but you're not supposed to know that.

Subsequent seasons I failed to watch. After the first season, there is no point. What happened to Andromeda, and who took this great show and wrecked it?

Well, Gene Roddenberry created the show back in the 60's, hence the trek-ness of it. Majel Roddenberry was then serving as executive producer on Andromeda, as presumably she knew all about it.. and I can't refute that, because when she stayed with the show it was good. Then she turned her attention to other things. I think the other executive producers went loco and just started pulling ideas from anywhere.. primarily their butts.

But.. if you ever catch the first season of Andromeda, I highly recommend it!



Lost in Translation
Submitted Saturday, March 27, 2004 - 12:59:59 PM by Klaitu

When I saw the trailer for Lost in Translation, I thought "this movie will suck".. but due to my recent experience with Secondhand Lions, I decided to let that slide. After all, It was up for some Academy Awards, it has Bill Murray in it, and it takes place in Japan. "This is a formula that could possibly work" I said to myself.

I don't know, maybe it could possibly work.. but it didn't. Here's the plot.. if you can call it that:

Bill Murray is a has-been 70's actor turned to advertising whiskey in Japan. Scarlett Johansson is a forlorn wife who married a complete loser. Together, they meet in Tokyo and hit it off.

That's all there is to it. Seriously. There really aren't any major plot points. Neither of them find happiness, they don't have an affair.. in fact, they don't do a whole lot of anything at all.. which is pretty much a staple of the whole movie: Nothing happens.

At the end of the movie, Bill Murray is still an old 70's actor paid to promote whiskey, and Scarlett Johansson is still married to a complete loser and stuck in Tokyo. I hope I didn't ruin the "ending"!

This movie is labelled as a comedy. This classification eludes me, except that perhaps hollywood cannot accept Bill Murray as anything other than a comedic actor. The movie is completely not funny in any way whatsoever. It does make several attempts to be funny, but these attempts fail dismally.

Primarily, the movie is filled with jokes about how Japanese people are short. Bill Murray in an elevator towering over everyone else, for instance. There's also a scene where he is trying to shower, but the shower head only comes up to his chin. You can only make this joke so many times before it becomes not-funny, and it was not-funny before you even started watching the movie.

I don't know, maybe I've been watching too much Japanese TV on World TV.. maybe I've seen one too many episodes of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. I think that maybe all the Japanese stuff in the movie was supposed to be the "comedy" of the film, but it was really just Japanese people being.. well.. Japanese. Theres Karaoke, sushi, and every other stereotypical Japanese thing out there.

As strange as that may seem, you might think "well, this must be a happy movie" well, you'd be wrong. Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson look completely forlorn throughout the entire movie, even when they are together and supposed to be "happy". Scarlett Johansson sighs wistfully looking out her hotel window. She sighs wistfully while standing in the middle of an arcade. She sighs wistfully when she tours the countryside. Bill Murry is stonefaced when ie is working. He is stonefaced when talking to his wife on the phone. He is stonefaced when he is in a Japanese nudie bar. He is stonefaced riding in taxis.

This is the only "comedy" ever made where the two main characters are manic depressive pessimists.

Bottom Line:
This movie is complete and utter crap, and even if you caught it for free and watched it, you would have wasted 2 hours of your life that you will never get back. It's not entertaining, it's not compelling, it's not even interesting.

1 of 10.



One Picture, One Season
Submitted Friday, March 26, 2004 - 9:45:05 PM by Klaitu

Is it possible to describe an entire season of a television series with one single picture? Let's find out!

























Somethin for da ladies
Submitted Friday, March 26, 2004 - 9:34:32 PM by Klaitu

Welcome to studville!
Population: me







Final Fantasy 11
Submitted Tuesday, March 23, 2004 - 9:55:11 PM by Klaitu

So, I got FF11 about a week ago or so. I saw the commercials, and decided that I had to give it a shot. First though, for this article to truly make sense, I have to start back with my previous MMORPG.. Star Wars Galaxies.

Why did I quit Star Wars Galaxies? Simple, nobody ever played it.. and when they did, they played it by themselves in a concerted effort to become the next Jedi. Star Wars Galaxies started as an amazing game, and had a tremendous potential for roleplayers, but they lost their vision when Raph Koster moved off the dev team, and Star Wars Galaxies spiralled into just another MMO hosed down with Star Wars Juice.

Enter FF11.

I purchased the reasonably cheap PC version of ff11, simply because 40 bucks is much cheaper than 99. I was also not certain of how playing a MMO on a console was going to work.

The package contained a whopping 5 CD's and demands an impressive 6 GB footprint on your hard drive. Why they didn't just put all this onto a single DVD, I know not. From start to finish, the installation process alone took 4 entire hours to complete. I set out installing around 10 at night, and I didn't get in the game until just after 2 AM. Most of this time was spent on downloading the updates.

First, let me talk about the loader. If you have played Star Wars Galaxies or Everquest, you know what this is. It's basically a proprietary menu that lets you start the game because they don't want you to access it directly. The Playonline viewer-- ff11's take on the loader is completely and utterly insane.

Every single menu screen is animated and artfully put together.. like some sort of hyperactive flash webpage. On top of that, the viewer comes with something like 25 background themes that you can configure to play.

As I said, this sort of thing is complete overkill for a PC game, but when you consider that this is also on the PS2, it makes a lot more sense. Playonline viewer has things like an Instant Message service, pop3 Mail service, and access to entire online manuals from within its depths.. things you can easily get on the PC, but can't so easily get on the PS2.

There are 5 races in ffxi: Hume (human), Elvaan (elf-like), Galka (strong and beefy), Tarutaru (children), and Mithra (cat-like and agile). Each race has stat adjustments that make them more or less adept at each job.

Character appearances are somewhat limited. 6 head types and 2 hair colors per sex per race. Galka and Mithra only have one sex. There are 3 body sizes available. Clothing and Armors tend to look very similar at early levels.

Actual gameplay is done almost exclusively with the keyboard. The game is designed to play on a PS2 controller, so most of the controls are very simple and easy to operate. You've played the format before, though: Find monster, beat up monster, gain XP, level, repeat.

What makes this game different from anything else I've seen is that it has an actual story, just like any other Final Fantasy game. This isn't an MMO hosed down with Final Fantasy Juice, this is a worthy addition to the series.

In addition to the main plot, there are oodles of sidequests and subplots which actually give you worthwhile rewards and goodies. Things like Chocobo Licenses.. that allow you to ride a chocobo, or an Airship pass, which lets you ride the airship. There are also quests that give you maps to dangerous areas, quests that give you new jobs, and quests that raise your level cap.

There are a plethora of different jobs to choose from, and unlike Ultima Online or Star Wars Galaxies, assuming you had the time you could theoretically maz out every single one of them. The hitch is that you can only use the skills from 2 of them at a time. You might be a Warrior and White Mage.. you might be a Samurai and a Summoner. Character advancement is very versatile, and it's uncommon to see people with an identical smattering of skills.

A very compelling aspect for me is just the sheer fun of the game. I've only been playing a week, so I am not all that great or anything, but already I can go and explore the countryside. They other day I rode a ferry to the other side of the entire globe. To walk that route would take nearly an entire day, but the ferry just took about 45 minutes..

and when I say I rode the ferry, I meant, I got on, and the ferry started sailing. I stood on the deck the entire time.. with a whole slew of other people who were also on their way to a new land.

This game does not have as much potential for roleplay as Ultima Online or Star Wars Galaxies has, though. It uses the stanrard Everquest "chat room" format for speech and actions. There are also no actual player structures nor guilds for that matter. In fact, I think the game is better without them in this instance.

If you're looking for something new, fresh, and very well done (with no bugs that I have found yet) then check it out, either for PS2 or for PC. Get more information at http://www.playonline.com



Ridiculous?
Submitted Monday, March 22, 2004 - 12:22:59 PM by Klaitu

I just watched the trailer for the Bring Back Kirk campaign. It uses CGI, audio clips, and speech remixes to tell a completely different Star Trek story. I downloaded this thinking I was going to have a laugh at poor video editing and the like, but you know what? for a fan-made video composed entirely out of existing Star Trek material, thsi thing isn't half bad.

You'll see the return of Spock, Scotty, Kirk, and Bones (as a holographic doctor). This thig ties together all the series.. including a scene where Kirk and Spock convince Sisko to return and assist.

The only person missing is Sulu, really.. and I have no idea why they didn't use him.

Anyway, you're going to have to take a look at this, it is truly a unique experience.

http://bbk.darthdavid.com/



Vernal Equinox
Submitted Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 10:35:35 AM by Klaitu

It's that time again! Time for the sun to cross the Earth's equator and make everyone in the northern hemisphere uncomfortably hot!

Hold off on your pagan rituals for a minute and listen up! At 12:49 exactly today, the sun will cross the equator, which officially hearlds the beginning of summer in the Northern Hemisphere.

All this, of course, due to the 23 degree slant in the Earth's axis. Yay!

We now return you to our non-educational programming.



News Nuggets
Submitted Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 10:29:55 AM by Klaitu

(insert catchy catchphrase here)

I know you guys are starved for freaky news.. well, I'm back with the cure for what ails ya.

- Stupid Protesters do stupid things! (check out the picture.. I wonder if anyone can read that sign from 328 feet away.

Two demonstrators from Greenpeace display a banner beneath the clock face of Big Ben, in central London on the first anniversary of the invasion of Iraq
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/040320/ids_photos_wl/r1374800608.jpg

- Don't leave your dead horse entrails just lyin around.
A horse head and a bag of a horse's internal organs were found in a city park Friday.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/apfeature_story.asp?category=1120&slug=Horse's%20Head

- There's so much wrong with this story, it's crazy. A company is claiming to have cryogenically suspended some lobsters by accident. First off, if it freezes, it dies.. therfore the lobsters obviously werent frozen. Secondly, nobody freezed lobster because dead lobster secretes a nasty tastin chemicsl (thats why people put lobsters in tanks).
Call it cryonics for crustaceans. A Connecticut company says its frozen lobsters sometimes come back to life when thawed.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2004/03/18/frozenlobster.DTL

- Ay Carumba! Send Nero to Pennsylvania!
A tractor-trailer carrying 75,000 pounds of burritos overturned Thursday morning near Conestoga, Lancaster County shutting down a portion of River Road.
http://www.thewgalchannel.com/traffic/2932375/detail.html



Stargate SG-1: The Lost City
Submitted Saturday, March 20, 2004 - 12:33:35 AM by Klaitu

I just got finished seeing the "Season Finale" of Stargate SG-1 for the present season on Sci-Fi. I must say to you that this is one of the most effective cliffhangers since the last episode of Farscape. It's one of those "perfect" endings where the story is wrapped up, but there is one little thread that makes you want to see the rest of the story.

This one goes in my recordbook as "best things ever put on TV" which, as you know me, is a pretty hard thing to attain.

So if you missed it, NYAAH, you'll have to catch it in reruns.



Dork Test
Submitted Friday, March 19, 2004 - 7:14:18 PM by Klaitu

Did you ever want your own Combadge? Now you can have it! Then again, if you actually want one, you probably have other issues.

the two-ounce badge central to the Vocera Communications System was inspired at least in part by the "com badges" that appeared on later versions of the show. Just as Captain Picard would do, Vocera badge wearers can touch the slim device they wear on their uniforms, say who they want to talk to and, assuming that person is wearing his badge, be connected.
http://www.forbes.com/technology/2004/03/16/cx_ah_0316chips.html



Really Bad Fanfiction
Submitted Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 12:41:55 PM by Klaitu

This is actually an oxymoron because all fanfiction is "really bad". The site should actually be called "even worse than normal fanfiction".

What can you expect to see on this wonderful site? Well, here's some examples!

The Secret Life of Inspector Gadget
A story of child abuse

Betazoid Ritual
What is the "ritual"? Incestuous lesbian masturbation of course!

Xmen Orgy
Quoth: "Wolverine went outside one day and came up with an idea. He went back inside and grabbed Jubilee and whispered something in her ear while licking it."

(it only gets worse from there)

Merry Christmas with KoRn and Orgy!
Just use your imagination on that one.

Poke Her in the Front, Licker in the Rear
Featuring Resident Evil zombie rape!

The FIST kills everyone!
Here's an excerpt: "I am the the FIST OF THE NORTHSRAT! I will KILL all of you now! hahahahahahahaha!!" He then punches yuu in the face and his entire body explodeded then he kicked miki and she exploded too. Ken laughed.

A literary MASTERPIECE!

Who's got the Biggest?
Gilmore Girls fight over a sweater because one has bigger boobs.

Chibi-Usa's Seventh Birthday
Happy birthday! Here's some rape! This would be Sailor Moon baloney.

One Thing or Another
Thundercat orgy.

Artemis's Lover
A Hermaphrodite 13 year old makes out with a.. talking cat.

Bulbasaur's Vengance
Experience the dark side of pokemon.

Dance Dance Revolution Poetry
Yeah, I thought it was impossible too, but it's not.

Natalie's Perverse Secret
Natalie.. portman.

Agony in Pink 3: Agony in Yellow
I have no idea what it's about, but the title alone cracks me up.

Interrogation of a Princess
Ptincess Leia. This is bad.. oh so very bad.

Full House: the Untold Story
Joey was apparently a sexual predator.

Do you dare tempt your fate? Do you stare into the face of bad grammar, run-on sentences, and cliches?

http://www.reallybadfanfiction.com
Beware!



Cool Links
Submitted Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 12:19:14 PM by Klaitu

Two Clocks!

http://www.designegg.com/insertmonkey/clock.html

Here's a cool way of displaying time.

http://www.lares.dti.ne.jp/%7Eyugo/storage/monocrafts_ver3/03/index.html

Here's a guy writing the time.. wow, he writes fast




Les Nuggets des News!
Submitted Monday, March 15, 2004 - 1:59:55 PM by Klaitu

It's a little mellow today, but we'll try anyways.

- Got to solve that Dihydrogen Monoxide problem! It's EVERYWHERE!!

City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production.
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/8185305.htm

- Petting Dogs is nice. Petting dogs in someones back yard at night is not nice.
"When I went out there to fill up the dog bowl, this woman was standing in my back yard," said Ron Berki, a local attorney. "My response was, 'Who in the hell are you?' She told me, 'I'm here to pet your dog.'"
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,114168,00.html



Oh No! More Controversy!
Submitted Monday, March 15, 2004 - 1:42:21 PM by Klaitu

Oh yeah. Gay Marriage, Cheeseburger Bills.. it all pales in comparison to "The Case of the vain mother".

The story is thus:
Melissa Ann Rowland was pregnant with twins. Apparently there was some medical complication near the end of the pregnancy, and she needed to have a cesarian to have the babies removed. She refused to have the procedure done because she feared scarring.

Of course, there's more to it than just that. After her doctor told her about the C-section, she went to 2 other hospitals for checkups so she didnt have to deal with the same doctors.

11 days later, she did end up having the C-section, but by then it was too late, one of the twins was stillborn.

Now Rowland is charged with the murder of her unborn child.

My thoughts are mirrored pretty closely with that of Bill O'Reilly on this one:

Utah authorities have charged 28-year-old Melissa Ann Rowland with murder, after she refused a C-section that would have saved the life of her baby girl.

Doctors told Rowland on January 2nd of this year that a C-section was the only way one of her twins would live, but the woman refused it for 11 days, allegedly telling a nurse she did not want the scars.

Finally, Rowland had a C-section on January 13th, but one baby was a stillborn. The other survived, and an autopsy proved tha had Rowland followed the doctor's orders, which were written, the baby would not have died.

So now Rowland faces possible homicide charges and Talking Points believes she will be easily convicted. However, her defense and probable appeal will center around her rights.

Can the law force someone to save another life?

That is the question.

The authorities say Rowland acted with "depraved indifference to human life." I believe that's accurate.

Rowland is likely to say nobody should be able to tell her what to do with her body.

Americans should realize that about 20% of the population believes babies in the womb have no rights at all, until the umbilical cord is cut -- and some lunatic judges have upheld that point of view.

Thankfully, the higher courts and Congress understand that the viability of a fetus places it under the protection of the state.

In a civilized society, you simply cannot have mothers birthing babies and slaughtering them. Thus, partial birth abortion is now illegal.

But the Rowland case goes beyond that.

Here is a woman who apparently put her vanity ahead of her daughter's life. While this is contemptible, there are judges and activists in America who will condone it.

Under Utah law, the key words in all homicide cases are "human life." Over the next few months, Melissa Rowland and her attorneys will likely put forth that the unborn baby was not "human" and that she was under no responsibility to save it.

That assertion tells clear-thinking Americans just how far this country has fallen.
(http://www.billoreilly.com/pg/jsp/general/genericpage.jsp?pageID=93)



The 12th planet
Submitted Monday, March 15, 2004 - 1:20:42 PM by Klaitu

Yes, I know you were only taught that there are 9 planets. Maybe its a textbook thing, maybe kids can't remember more than 9 planets in order, so imma give you a lesson

Astral Bodies:

1. Sol
Sol is our star.. but you already knew that.

2. Mercury
Mercury is a big hunk of rock. Takes 88 days for a year on Mercury.

3. Venus
Earth-like world, except that acidic atmosphere and 800+ temperature.

4. Earth
The real name for Earth is Terra.. but you knew that. Innermost planet with a moon. Yum.

5. Mars
The Red Planet. That's where MARTIANS are from.

6. Asteroid Belt
Technically not a planet, but neither was Sol.

7. Jupiter
The Red Giant is where the monolith is hanging out until 2010 when it turns the planet into a star so that life can breed on Europa.

8. Saturn
The only planet that will float in water. It also has big rings.

9. Uranus
The subject of more kids' puns than any other planet.

10. Neptune
Neptune is cool because its moons are named after the daughters of the mythological Neptune.

11. Pluto
Pluto is the last planet you hear about in textbooks.

12. Charon
Charon is Pluto's moon. It's nearly the same size as Pluto.

13. Quaoar
Little is known about this distant world, except it's a kinda purply color, and it's smaller than Pluto.

14. Sedna
The most distant planet in the Solar System. It's red, like mars, but it's slightly smaller than Pluto.

Now I only mention all this, because Sedna was just discovered recently.. last year as a matter of fact. Enjoy this comparison picture!



Catbox Woes
Submitted Monday, March 15, 2004 - 12:47:04 PM by Klaitu

The following I blatantly ripped from Penny Arcade. If you own a cat, and have seen those catboxes on TV that claim to magically clean the catbox, you will love this:

I've had a couple weeks now with the Littermaid Plus, and I have to say that this is one of the worst designed consumer devices ever made. I don't have any arguments with the concept - a machine that obviates the need to play with feline waste. I'm onboard. Men of science, please invent a machine that will collect and sequester the tiny pot roasts my cat leaves behind. It is, however, a deeply ironic device, and it has lessons to teach us about sloth and human folly. Indeed, this strange method of instruction is the only thing it accomplishes with any regularity. What we learn through using the device is that life is sometimes difficult, and to try and mediate that fact invites the scorn of the universe.

There is a sort of "comb" that trawls the litter, snaring the sweet surprises left within and theoretically deposting them into a sort of cat sh*t purgatory. While mostly successful, the waste must first travel up a steep ramp, like the ones in extreme sports videos. And sometimes it is flung out, as though by catapult, toward imaginary foes.

The thing is, the device really doesn't have a lot of room in it for cats, which strikes me as a design flaw. You would think they would try to put a cat in there, or find somebody who had a cat, sh*t, maybe just imagine a cat and try to design their litterbox around that hypothetical, hairy customer. But they didn't. Cats must situate themselves diagonally in order to make a deposit as it were, so the container at the end where it's all supposed to go fills up at the sides first and then boils over into your house. This isn't even the worst problem.

Cat pee and litter is like wet cement, it's like a new state of matter. In an ordinary, non-robot litter box it has time to "set" so that you can remove it and then go do something that is important to you. If, on the other hand, a mechanical arm reaches out and spreads it the length and breadth of the device, now you have a completely disgusting new task you could never have imagined in trade for the one you thought you were giving up forever.

It is the sort of thing you would design if you had only a vague description of a cat and you didn't really give a crap if it worked or not.



Anger Management
Submitted Sunday, March 14, 2004 - 4:15:28 PM by Klaitu

After the disaster known as "Punch-Drunk Love" I was afraid to see Anger Management. I procrastinated, and I waited until it came on a free channel.

My fears were somewhat justified. Anger Management isn't nearly as bad as PDL. but then again.. there are few movies that can reach that level of crapitude. Anger Management turned out to be merely "okay". It's got your classic Sandler moments, and classic Nicholson moments. The plot, however, was waay too easy to figure out.

Sandler can't commit to his girlfriend. She takes matters into her own hands and hires Jack Nicholson to whip him into shape. Hilarity ensues.

You'll see:
- Monk brawls
- Monk wedgie
- Redsox bosoms
- Extremely fat cats

Overall Score:
5 of 10
It's good for free, I wouldn't pay for it.



Personal Responsibility in Food Consumption Act
Submitted Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 1:16:09 PM by Klaitu

That's the big name for the "Cheeseburger Bill". Now, I was going to stick this article in the News Nuggets, but I find this incredibly fascinating. I already mentioned this bill before, but its so goofy, I had to do it again.

Let's look at our public officials responses:

Those who overeat should blame themselves, not the fast food industry that employs almost 12 million people and is the nation's second largest employer behind the government, Republicans said.

"We as Americans need to realize that suing your way to better health is not the answer," said House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill. "Trial lawyers need to stop encouraging consumers to blame others for the consequences of their actions just so they can profit from frivolous lawsuits against restaurants."

"I recognize that obesity is a serious problem in America, but suing the people who produce and sell food is not going to solve this problem," he said. "Americans need to take greater care in what - and how much - they eat."

At a news conference before the vote Wednesday, bill sponsor Rep. Ric Keller, R-Fla., said the bill is about "common sense and personal responsibility."

he White House issued a statement backing Keller's bill, saying, "food manufacturers and sellers should not be held liable for injury because of a person's consumption of legal, unadulterated food and a person's weight gain or obesity."

"The fact is, it's ridiculous to blame a restaurant for when a person eats too much food," Rep. Pat Toomey, R-Penn., told Fox News. "It's a person's own individual decision … we ought to make it clear you can't sue a restaurant for the behavior you're responsible for yourself.


And now.. the opposing viewpoint:
Democrats called the bill a Republican political ploy aimed at hurting trial lawyers and helping the multibillion-dollar food business.

Democrats argue that most obesity claims have been dismissed in court, anyway.

"It protects an industry that doesn't need to be protected at this particular point and we're dealing with a problem that doesn't exist," said Rep. James McGovern, D-Mass. "The problem that does exist is that we have an obesity problem in this country."

Professor John Banzhaf, who is leading the lawyers arguing for their overweight clients who regularly dine at such establishments, insists the lawsuits aren't frivolous.

"Let me remind you that the smoker suits, the non-smoker suits, the suits by the states against the tobacco industry, all were originally called frivolous," Banzhaf said.

Although personal responsibility is a big factor, said Jennifer Keller of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, "people are confused about what eating healthy is."
Now, which side is right, and which side is wrong? I think it's a pretty obvious choice myself.. but we'll see what your response is, or if anyone will even touch the issue.



News Nuggets*
Submitted Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 1:03:25 PM by Klaitu

*Now just as irregular as Grandma!

Let's fly right into it, shall we?

George Michael is a smart cookie

British singer George Michael said today he was retiring from the music business and intended instead to put all his future songs on the Internet - for free.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/03/11/1078594467884.html

Terrorists strike Madrid
Ten terrorist bombs tore through trains and stations along a commuter line at the height of Madrid's morning rush hour Thursday, killing 190 people and wounding 1,200 others before this weekend's general elections.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=518&e=1&u=/ap/20040311/ap_on_re_eu/spain_explosion

DISH bends to the almighty will of Viacom after discovering "hey, I guess our customers watch those channels"
DISH Network today announced that they have reached a long-term, multi-channel agreement that provides for the satellite TV distribution of CBS, BET, and the MTV Networks channels previously carried by DISH Network.
http://home.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/index.jsp?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20040310005883&newsLang=en

Would you eat a 90 year old can of peas? Why not? They can't be any worse than fresh peas.
"The peas have been in the Glosters' collection since the 1920s and are in tip-top nick. I suspect they are as good as the day they were canned but we haven't opened them yet because you never know when you might need them."
http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=111001&command=displayContent&sourceNode=111000&contentPK=9148428

In other news, people actually thought those Lunar Real-Estate deeds were real!
More than 60 worried owners of lunar real estate have written to the White House warning Bush not to let astronauts soil their property.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1517&e=6&u=/afp/lifestyle_germany_us_space_offbeat

The EPA has run out of things to rave about. Now they're trying to tell us that the gas given off by microwave popcorn is toxic.
Exposure to vapors from butter flavoring in microwave popcorn has been linked to a rare lung disease contracted by factory workers in Missouri, Illinois, Iowa and Nebraska.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,113913,00.html

The big three are on a rampage against spam. Too bad they're wasting their time. Frivolous lawsuits haven't slowed down music sharers, why would it slow down spammers?
Setting aside their rivalries to fight unwanted e-mail choking cyberspace, leading Internet companies announced Wednesday they have sued hundreds of people suspected of sending unsolicited junk messages known as spam.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,113878,00.html



Secondhand Lions
Submitted Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 12:43:30 PM by Klaitu

If you thought I was gonna stop there, you're dead wrong! I'm on a roll, I'm craaaazy movie watchin fool!

I remember seeing the trailer for the movie waaay back before it came out. The Trailer was basically Michael Caine, Robert Duvall, and Haley Joel Osment sitting on a porch. I said to myself "That movie is going to suck, it's like for grandmas or something"

Well, it turns out that the trailer was actually bad marketing, and that the movie has nothing to do with porches and boredom.

Young Walt has a problem: His mom is a complete psycho hose beast. She dumps him off with his two crazy great-uncles in the middle of nowhere, Texas. No phone, no TV, not a single luxury.. except shooting at the salesmen.

I don't want to ruin this movie for you, but suffice it to say, this is a "coming of age" story for Walt. Will he escape his psycho mom? You'll have to watch and see!

Overall Score: 9 of 10
Highly Recommended, you won't be disappointed.



Open Range
Submitted Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 12:29:56 PM by Klaitu

Yeehaw! I got some serious movie viewing in. I saw Open Range when it originally came out theatrically, but I never wrote a review of it.

Cowboys. Yes, they actually drive cattle, which is a rarity for cowboy movies.. but nonetheless, there you go. The movie is set in a period just around the time barbed wire was becoming popular, and as you all know, barbed wire is what stopped the great cattle drives of the 19th century.

There are 4 of them altogether. A Mexican, an Oaf, the boss, and Kevin Costner. They send the Oaf into town, where he gets beat up and thrown in jail. When he dosen't return, they leave the Mexican with the wagon, and go to find the oaf.

They discover that the big cheese in the town is a guy who dosen't like cattle drivers. The Boss and Costner correctly surmise that this bad guy is after their herd, so they get the Oaf released, get him patched up at the doctors, and return to the wagon.

Boss and Costner go to thwart the evil badguys plans in the middle of the night, but when they return they find the oaf dead, and the Mexican almost dead. They return to the town for justice.

There's some great character development here, partially heightened because you know nothing about these guys past. They don't talk about it until later in the film.

Adding to the greatness of the film, the gunshots are realistic! This amazes me because so many films just use stock sound effects. The movie has the greatest western shootout since Tombstone.

Overall Score: 8 of 10
I highly recommend this film, I generally hate westerns, but this one transcends the genre and becomes less of a western and more of a period film.



How to lose a guy in 10 days
Submitted Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 12:19:43 PM by Klaitu

Oh, you thought I would stop at Bridget Jones's Diary? Think again! I hath braved the firey doom of the chick flick genre once again to bring you my review of "How to lose a guy in 10 days".

To sum up this review in one word: Formulaic.

You probably saw this movie the first time when it was called:
Green Acres
Sweet Home Alabama
Bringin Down the House
Miss Congeniality

Matthew McConaughey plays "Stereotypical male" he is charming, rides a motorcycle, makes bets, is disorderly, and watches sports.

Kate Hudson plays "stereotypical power-female" she is stuck at a magazine that demeans women and dosen't like it. She has sassy girlfriends. She thinks she is smarter than all men. Oh, and she cares about "things that make a difference" like "Religion, politics, and the enviornment".

Here's the plot. Matthew bets he can make Kate fal in love with him in 10 days. Simultaneously, Kate picks Matthew for her article "How to lose a guy in 10 days". Guess what? They fall in love during the interim and live happily ever after.. but not until she finds out about the bet, and he finds out about the article, which makes them pissed at each other for about 7 minutes, until he comes and apologizes.

The movie lasts for about an hour and a half, but the plot only exists for about 10 minutes at the beginning, and about 10 minutes at the end. The middle is just filled with a variety of predicaments created by Kate. Here's some of them that I didn't sleep through:

- Dog pees on his pool table
- She makes him get her a drink during a crucial moment in a basketball game
- She takes him to a Celine Dion concert, makes him wear pink.. during a basketball game
- She takes over his house with teddy bears and pink stuff
- She names a certain part of his body.. with a female name.

Overall Score: 2 of 10
Unfortunate. I should have seen it coming though, Matthew McConaughey is in it. He has never made a single movie worth watching.



Bridget Jones's Diary
Submitted Thursday, March 11, 2004 - 12:05:15 PM by Klaitu

Yes, I watched a chick flick. It just so happens that it came across my path by accident, so I took the opportunity to grab the DVD and take a look. Everyone's heard the title before.. with this popularity, I expected a pretty good movie.

My expectations were not exactly met.

The plot here is told as a diary, of course. Bridget Jones is 32 and unmarried, and feels pressure from her mother to get hitched. The mother then, of course, sets her up on blind dates.

Eventually, Bridget is given a choice between a womanizing Hugh Grant, or an upstanding Colin Firth.. and therein lies the problem.

Everyone knows she's gonna end up with Colin. Colin is the "good guy" and Hugh Grant is the "bad guy". This situation is evidenced throughout the entire movie from the first scene. In fact, you can look at the DVD box and tell which one she will choose simply because Colin is well-groomed, and Hugh is not.

So, then.. if we all know the ending, then the fun of the movie should be in seeing how she gets there, right? Well, it's a nice theory.

The movie is pretty funny, with some obvious gags, some old gags done in new ways, and some gags that just don't work outside Britain... or maybe the jokes just work on women, I dunno.

Overall rating: 4 of 10
It's bleh.. mildly entertaining, you might watch it if it came your way for free, like in my case.. but I can't imagine paying money for it.



Congress not completely stupid.. yet
Submitted Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 12:43:24 PM by Klaitu

You know how people have been suing fast food chains because they were stupid and ate too much? Well, all that could change if the new "cheeseburger bill" passes. It protects restaurants from fat lawsuits.

The House of Representatives is taking up what has been nicknamed the "Cheeseburger Bill" on Wednesday. If it becomes law, the measure, which says it's the consumer's problem if his greasy-eating habit adds to his bulk, would protect companies like KFC and Wendy's from fat-related lawsuits.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,113836,00.html



Robots are COOL!
Submitted Wednesday, March 10, 2004 - 2:03:41 AM by Klaitu

People are doing amazing things with Flash MX Technology.

Things like movie sites.

http://www.irobotmovie.com

http://www.ns-5.com



I can see my house from here
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 2:57:04 PM by Klaitu

Check this out.. people have been putting together high-resolution pictures of the globe, including the entire United States. Ever wonder what your house looks like from orbit? Just punch in your address and let it rip!

http://www.terraserver.com

http://www.terrafly.com



Blair Poll
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 1:07:40 PM by Klaitu

Wcnews has an interesting poll going on: Which of the Christopher Blair's do you prefer? Academy, Bluehair. Super WC, Mark Hamill, or Freddy Prinze?

Go vote!
http://www.wcnews.com/



Get Your Precious in May
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 1:01:19 PM by Klaitu

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. May.

That's really all I need to say, but I am going to expound because I am feeling verbose. You'll be able to get the theatrical version in may, the super-duper-uber version is rumored to come out in October, just like normal.



News Nuggets Strike Back
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 12:47:45 PM by Klaitu

I know you missed them!

- Some 70 year old coupons still work.

Fred Simpson, a retired auditor from Jacksonville, Fla., was looking through an old magazine from 1935, when he spotted an advertisement from Jones Dairy Farm with a mail-in coupon offering the fixings for a sausage-and-pancake breakfast. The cost, including shipping, was $1.
"There was no expiration date on the coupon," says Mr. Simpson, so he sent it in. Not long afterwards, a delivery truck pulled up to his home. The driver handed Mr. Simpson's wife Marguerite a package containing a cooler stuffed with ice packs, Jones pork sausage, a box of buckwheat pancake flour and a jar of Wisconsin maple syrup. The Simpsons were delighted.
http://www.s-t.com/daily/04-97/04-02-97/b02ho045.htm

- Never pay at Wal-Mart with a 1,000,000 dollar bill. It just dosen't work. Besides, how would they make change?
a Porterdale woman allegedly tried to pay for more than $1,600 in merchandise at the Covington Wal-Mart Friday with a $1 million bill.
http://www.citizenonline.net/citizen/archive/article3D59647.asp

- In New Jersey you can sue Nissan if your Nissan is stolen.
In a suit filed Monday in Somerset County, the state accused Nissan North America Inc. of failing to warn customers that the super-bright xenon headlights on its Maximas were a favorite among thieves.
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/business/national/8140166.htm

- I'm sure you all had heard the big news about the dispute between Viacom and Dish network. If not, the deal was that viscom was trying to force dish to take Nickelodeon GAS channel, and they didn't want it. Dish refused to pay for it, so viacom pulled all their channels off Dish. Those channels include MTV, VH1, CBS, Comedy Central, and Spike TV among others. This link may not work, because their customers are hammering the webpage.

http://www.dishnetwork.com/content/programming/updates/index.shtml

- Behold, the dangers of introducing 21st century technology to China
A computer game addict in western China collapsed and died at his screen after playing the popular online game Saga non-stop for 20 hours, a news report said today.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/03/09/1078594344830.html



Paul Winfield Dies
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 12:28:28 PM by Klaitu

You might remember him better as Captain Terrell of the USS Reliant in Star Trek 2. You might have also spotted him under the makeup as Captain Dathon, a Tamarian in the TNG episode "Darmok". Or, some others of you might have noticed him as Dr. Franklin's General Father in the B5 episode "GROPOS".

He died of a Heart Attack. He was 62.

http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/ap/20040309/107883072000.html



(Insert Subject Here)
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 12:57:49 AM by Klaitu

This guy is just too weird for any subject line I can come up with..

IMAGINE being strapped inside a huge plastic ball and being pushed out of an aircraft. Tasmanian eccentric Steven Whitmore has given the idea a lot of thought.

"It'd hit the ground and you'd just bounce away until you stopped," Mr Whitmore said.

Another invention he dreamt-up is a huge capsule made of bullet-proof glass.

The thrill-seeker is strapped inside and the capsule is dropped into the ocean, head first.

"Imagine the feeling," Mr Whitmore said.


http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,8895782^13762,00.html



Wal-Mart Discriminates!
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 12:52:39 AM by Klaitu

Against Vampire Ninjas!

He says he was fired last week upon reporting for duty in his priest's shirt with Roman collar, an Arab headdress and six crosses.

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/metro/stories/MYSA08.03B.walmart_firing_03-04.434eb731.html



Musical Whatnot
Submitted Tuesday, March 9, 2004 - 12:39:19 AM by Klaitu

Here's a highly recommended site for you music lovers.

You know how when you go to amazon.com and look something up, it says "people who bought this also bought _________"? Well, someone has taken the results in that database and connected them, so that you can see what artists are musically related.

In simpler terms, it allows you to find similar music that you might like. Just punch in your favorite group, and see what comes up!

I punched in "William Shatner" and it told me that I would probably like "Star Trek Music" and "Pat Boone". Apparently I am a rarity among humans.

http://www.musicplasma.com/



We're Baaaack!
Submitted Monday, March 8, 2004 - 8:02:27 PM by Klaitu

Little DNS hiccup there, but it's all better now.



Salad Suprise
Submitted Friday, March 5, 2004 - 4:56:26 PM by Klaitu

Here's a particularly grusome story:

was chopping lettuce at about 7 p.m. Monday when he cut off a part of his left thumb, including part of the fingernail.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,113389,00.html



The Fox News Team does it again!
Submitted Friday, March 5, 2004 - 4:54:33 PM by Klaitu

I love their graphics department.




It's Atlantis!
Submitted Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 3:40:44 PM by Klaitu

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages.. BEHOLD the first picture from the production of Stargate: Atlantis!




From left: Dr. Elizabeth Weir (Torri Higginson), Major John Sheppard (Joe Flanigan), Dr. Rodney McKay (David Hewlett) and Lt. Aiden Ford (Rainbow Sun Francks).


Look at their little uniforms, aren't they cute? Let's see.. Solid grey... solid grey.. beige.. and... camo? One of these things is not like the other.

Let me try that again: white.. white.. white.. NOT WHITE! Man, it must suck to be the "urban" character.



This is Too Easy
Submitted Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 3:27:19 PM by Klaitu

Pickpockets Strike Bethesda!

Police believe a well-dressed man in a wheelchair and a woman in a cream-colored van could be responsible.
Do I really need to make the joke?

Okay, I will anyway:

Gee, I wonder who these pickpockets could be.. Could it be...



PROFESSOR X AND JEAN GREY?!?!

You saw it coming, admit it.

http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0304/130492.html



He's better than Ventura!
Submitted Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 2:24:14 PM by Klaitu

What do you look for in a governor? Texas looks for wusses, apparently.

I want to fight the wussification of the state of Texas.

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/front/2433090



Fire Berman Already!
Submitted Thursday, March 4, 2004 - 2:18:19 PM by Klaitu

Alright, this article is going to have some mild spoilers for Enterprise, so if you don't like that, you better not read. Let me just say though.. this is bad news.

Azati Prime, quite possibly the best episode of Enterprise to date. While it can't hold a candle to TNG or DS9, or TOS, Azati Prime did have a little Trek flavor to it.

Don't expect the tradition to continue.

You might have noticed T'pol being somewhat emotional. There's a reason for that: she's addicted to Trellium-D. Gene Roddenberry is spinning in his... space urn.

In an episode called E2, Archer is going to encounter yet another Enterprise, this time from 3 generations in the future. Apparently one of his descendants is aboard as well.

Perhaps the most telling is that this season's finale is called "Zero Hour" and is not a two-part cliffhanger. Berman and company are anticipating that the series will not be picked up for another Season.



In-Depth: Why does Burger King suck so bad?
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 5:01:36 PM by Klaitu

This was all prompted by McDonald's discontinuing their Super Size menu. I got into this discussion of "alternative eateries" with some folks on IRC, and eventually the topic of Burger King came up.

Now, I don't know about YOUR Burger King, but ours sucks butt. No, really. It does.

- by default, the whopper comes with about 15 pounds of lettuce and other plant-material that nobody eats.

- A "plain" whopper is about 80% bun and 20% meat.

- The meat on the whopper is burned black and is crunchy at least 9 times out of 10.

- BK fries are inferior to most fast-food fries. In the scheme of things they come in just ahead of Whataburger.

- BK never fills their fry cartons fully. When you order a Large fry, you get a large fry box 3/4 filled.

- BK has a small menu with not much variety. You can get a hamburger (in various combinations) one of two chicken sandwiches, or if you're there for breakfast, you can get a croissant.

Now, like I said, your BK mileage may vary. I remember when I was a youngin, Burger King was the pimp. The used to be good.. better than McDonald's even, but now they're just a pathetic joke, much like Carl's Jr.

If you have a good Burger King, let me know on the forums.



News Nuggets: The Return
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 4:47:42 PM by Klaitu

I'm not promising this will be a regular thing, but today has been so freaky in the world of news that I figured I would just cram it all into one post!

1. Remember that scene in "The Passion of the Christ" where Jesus drives His Chevy Lumina into a lake? Me neither, but some lady apparently saw a different version:

A local woman with psychological problems purposely drove her car into the water at A.W. Stanley Quarter Park in an attempt to re-enact a scene from the blockbuster film, "The Passion of the Christ," police said.


http://www.zwire.com/site/11051984.html

2. Speaking of Passion.. John Debney composed the music for the film, but apparently Satan didn't like that too much, what with the manifestation of evil popping up on his screen and crashing his computers and whatnot.
The computers froze for about the tenth time [one] day and it was about nine o’clock at night and so I got really mad and I told Satan to manifest himself and I said, ‘Let’s go out into the parking lot and let’s go.’

They discovered later that Debney was using a Macintosh, the preferred computer of Satan.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4375708/

3. But enough of the Passion.. or not. CNN has offered a report that shows that the Passion is being over-reported. Does anyone else find that a little ironic?
So much has been said about Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ" that it seems a waste of text to further the discussion.
In other news, Nick Nunziata is a moron.

4. Once again, NASA has determined absolutely, positively, could-be, maybe, we think so, probably there was water on Mars.. sometime, maybe.
"We think we've found enough evidence at the Opportunity site that liquid water was in abundance for some period of time,"
http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/opportunity_news_040302.html

5. In other NASA news, we're planning another trip to the moon, courtesy President Bush.
President Bush has established the goal of a human return to the Moon by 2020, as the launching point for missions beyond -- particularly Mars. Beginning no later than 2008, the first in a series of robotic missions to the lunar surface are on tap to research and prepare for future human exploration.
http://www.space.com/businesstechnology/technology/moonbase_next_040303-1.html

6. Finally, the most shocking news item of all.
You can now FART wherever and whenever you'd like. This is your chance to impress or gross out your friends.
I wish I had thought to make "the fart machine". I'd be rich, I tell you.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2991728368&category=1469



Japanese Underpants Technology
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 1:08:30 PM by Klaitu

Etsuyo Aoyagi, 34, who hails from ski country in Niigata Prefecture, said she was surprised at the warmth of the new underwear she purchased to fend off the cold.


http://www.japantoday.com/e/?content=feature&id=607



Texas Castration
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 1:02:37 PM by Klaitu

What's the quickest way to punish a child molester? Castration!

A former YMCA camp counselor who admitted molesting more than 40 boys underwent voluntary castration this week in Texas, the only state where the prison system allows the surgery.


http://abcnews.go.com/wire/GMA/ap20040303_630.html



Curse you Hippies!
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 12:54:56 PM by Klaitu

They're taking away by beloved, my precious Super Size!

The hamburger giant has started phasing out its trademark Supersize fries (search) and drinks in its U.S. restaurants as part of an effort to simplify its menu and give customers choices that support a balanced lifestyle, a company spokesman said Tuesday.

By the end of 2004, super size will no longer be available at the nation's 13,000-plus McDonald's outlets except in certain promotions, McDonald's spokesman Walt Riker said.


There can only be one explaination: TV Executives have taken over McDonalds. As it stands right now, McDonald's has 2 sizes: Super Size, and small. Take out the super size and what's left? You have to order 2 of whatever you're getting.

Apparently in trendy places like California and New York, people blame McDonalds for getting them fat, when in fact it is them stuffing their own faces. I guess they eventually convinced McDonalds to produce less food and charge customers more.

After all, that's what happened with Chicken McNuggets, right?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,113105,00.html

I guess I'll just have to start eating at Wendy's and Sonic.



Turbulent Tornadoes
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 2:48:52 AM by Klaitu

Here's an interesting little thing I spotted while checking my local weather. The 9 most Terrible Tornadoes of Oklahoma.. in video, Realplayer format.

http://www.newsok.com/?weather#
(click on "Gary's Top 9 Terrible Twisters" link near the bottom)

FYI, Gary England, the voice on that video is responsible for helping to develop doppler radar for weather use. He helped to develop Nexrad and the Viper systems as well. You can also thank him and his crew for those little maps in the corner of your screen when there's bad weather around, as well as the on-screen text scroll.



Don't Miss Enterprise
Submitted Wednesday, March 3, 2004 - 2:26:36 AM by Klaitu

You know how local TV works. Paramount beams Trek into orbit, bounces it off a satellite, and then local stations record it, then they put in all their commercials, etc.

Because of that commercial thing, most shows are beamed to the stations a day or so beforehand. Such is the case with Enterprise. If you happen to have one of those giant satellite dishes, you can pick up the shows you want to see a day early.

Well, here's the buzz on this Wednesday's episode of Enterprise: people who hate Enterprise are loving this episode. They're saying it's the best episode of the show to date.

Apparently we're going to be treated to a space battle, explosions, and Mayweather gets lines! Apparently this is a cliffhanger episode with a duration of 6 weeks. From what I've seen, it sounds too good to be true.

Could this be the saving grace for Enterprise? Who knows, but one thing's for sure, I'll be watching.



Stargate: The Scoop
Submitted Tuesday, March 2, 2004 - 2:54:49 PM by Klaitu

Alright, here's new information about Stargate Atlantis from Gateworld.net:

THE TECH. A team of scientists has been pouring over the Ancients' Antarctic outpost since SG-1 discovered it buried a mile beneath the ice in "The Lost City," and have learned that only people with a very rare gene are able to operate the intuitive technology found there -- one person in 16,000, to be exact. Dr. Benjamin Ingram is a brilliant scientist who works to interface Earth technology with that of the Ancients, but is frustrated by the fact that he himself does not possess the gene. Another of the scientists, however -- Dr. Beckett -- does possess the gene and accidentally launches an Ancient attack drone from the outpost. They also quickly learn that Major Sheppard has the gene; the ability to use the Ancients' tech will come in very handy when the team reaches the lost city of Atlantis in the distant Pegasus galaxy.

Vital to the operation of the city (and to the team's ability to gate to another galaxy) is the Z.P.M., an Ancient power module that was probably the basis for the device O'Neill constructed in "The Fifth Race" while under the influence of the Ancients' library of knowledge. Atlantis is powered by three of the devices.

As hoped, the lost city is indeed a treasure trove of advanced technology, which includes such things as a universal translation device. Each team member travelling off-world receives one, which is capable of instantly translating virtually any language encountered.

THE SHIPS. As an accomplished pilot, Sheppard is particularly interested in a bay filled with Ancient ships discovered in Atlantis. The ship of choice is nicknamed "Puddle Jumper," as it is designed to travel through the Stargate. In fact, the ship has a miniature dialing device on the main console, allowing remote-access dialing of the Stargate. It is also equipped with stealth mode, allowing it to become invisible. The ship seems to operate in part by reading the pilot's thoughts. The jumper is large enough to seat at least two at the forward controls, and at least six in the rear.

The enemy possesses advanced ships too, of course. The Wraith Dart is a small, maneuverable ship capable of gate travel. It is described as oily black, sharply pointed and with a glowing underside. The Wraith planet has a Stargate in orbit, indicating that it's rather common to travel the Stargate network by ship in this part of the universe.

ATLANTIS. The lost city of the Ancients is an island unto itself, surrounded by a vast body of water on the surface of a planet in the Pegasus galaxy (... eventually). It has been abandoned by the Ancients but left in perfect condition, and the team from Earth must begin the task of exploring it. Atlantis is equipped with a powerful energy shield, which is vital to protecting the new base of operations from enemy attack. Within the city is, of course, a Stargate -- but one unlike any previously seen.

THE STARGATE. The chevrons are blue on the Atlantis gate, and, of course, the symbols themselves are different in this galaxy. Instead of physically spinning, the inner track spins in a pattern of light. The brightly-lit symbols also rotate around much faster than Earth's gate.

The team accesses the gate's control systems -- more like a computer than a D.H.D. -- along with a new library of addresses, most of which are presumably for the Pegasus galaxy's gate network. After dialing another world, the tried-and-true system of M.A.L.P. probes and G.D.O. transmitters are still used. At the touch of a button, the gate may be protected by an iris-like energy shield.

THE WRAITH. They are the enemy that defeated the Ancients themselves long ago. The Wraith are a hive-based species with a queen, and horrifically feed off the life force of other beings. They maintain a thousand worlds populated by beings used for food. The Wraith are described as having pale green-tinged skin and black eyes, and have an incredible power to regenerate -- so much so that Dr. Beckett speculates that they may not even die of old age the same way that humans do. They also appear to have some form of psionic ability.


You can more spoilers at the link below, including the cast list (nobody you ever heard of before) http://www.gateworld.net/news/spinoffnews.html#newsitem1078197426,91500,



How to get fired: The Paramedic Edition
Submitted Tuesday, March 2, 2004 - 12:48:45 AM by Klaitu

Yeah, there's probably about a million ways to get fired from a Paramedic position. This guy wins the prize though:

He later grabbed the dead person's breast and said "honk, honk."

http://www.whotv.com/Global/story.asp?S=1676372&nav=2HABLAiu



The Ladies love Special K
Submitted Tuesday, March 2, 2004 - 12:43:58 AM by Klaitu

Last month Special K raked in an impressive 1140 hits. That's an average of 38 per day. That means that someone is reading Special K every 1.5 hours!

That's not bad for a nerdy little web log.



12 People in the World
Submitted Monday, March 1, 2004 - 12:49:25 PM by Klaitu

Imagine your life if you couldn't feel pain. Sure, it might be an advantage.. then again, maybe not.

http://www.kare11.com/news/news-article.asp?NEWS_ID=60120

The teeth she didn't break off while biting toys were removed by an oral surgeon after Gabby chewed up her mouth and tongue so badly she had to be hospitalized.

Especially for a baby. This is a very interesting article.



Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Submitted Monday, March 1, 2004 - 12:39:36 PM by Klaitu

October 22, 2004!

http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/040301/15419_1.html



Geek Love
Submitted Monday, March 1, 2004 - 12:36:12 PM by Klaitu

This one is especially for Redlow:

http://www.playboy.com/features/features/techtv/indexa.html

Which of Tech TV's womenfolk should pose nude in some edition of Playboy? It's a poll of Playboy readers. Guess who won? It's pretty obvious.