December 2004

TV Restart of 2005
Submitted Thursday, December 30, 2004 - 9:55:55 PM by Klaitu

This is more for me than it is for you, but those of you who like some of this stuff might find it interesting, so why not post it, right?

1. Andromeda - January 7 - "The Test"
2. JAG - January 7 - "Automatic for the People"
3. ST: Enterprise - January 14 - "Daedalus"
4. Battlestar Galactica - January 14 - "33" and "water" (double feature)
5. Stargate SG-1 - January 21 - "Gemini"
6. Stargate Atlantis - January 21 - "The Eye"



Holidays Go Away
Submitted Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - 12:24:22 AM by Klaitu

(Insert sad face here)

No more snowflakes, no more pretty Christmas tree logo.. but it's not all bad, I updated a lot of those links over on the right that none of you click on, so now if you were to click on them, they'd work!

In other news, I think the TiVo is slowly plotting to turn me into a couch potato.. whereas before I was a computer chair potato.



Stargate Smorgasboard
Submitted Tuesday, December 28, 2004 - 12:55:53 PM by Klaitu

Alright, I've got more information on the Stargate Shenanagans for season 9, so here goes:

Ben Browder has been cast as a series regular. You already knew that, but what you didn't know is that he was the wing commander of the F-302 squadron during the attack by Anubis. He was shot down and hurt, but promised a position on SG-1 if he could recover. His character name hasn't come through yet because of legal reasons. He will appear in all 20 or so episodes of season 9.

Amanda Tapping is pregnant. She plays Colonel Carter, "the blonde chick". Because of her condition, she won't be appearing in something like 5 episodes of the series. While she is missing, Claudia Black will be filling in for her. Claudia Black plays a character named Vala, who is a human from some other planet that is also fighting the Goa'uld. She has no qualms about stealing from the Earth people to accomplish this.

Richard Dean Anderson, long considered to be the keystone of the show may not appear at all in season 9. The show's producers are working feverishly to get him in somehow, but Anderson is ready to retire and spend time with his family. Regardless of Anderson's status, the producers are going to keep his character prominent in the series.. how they're going to do that without Anderson is anyone's guess.

The last half of Stargate's season 8 will begin January 21. Season 9 begins filming in March, and will premiere as usual during the "Summer of Sci-Fi" on the Sci-Fi Channel.

Those of you watching on local TV will have to wait almost 2 years.

Here's some relevant reading:
http://www.gateworld.net/news/2004/12/andersonsroleinseasonnineu.shtml
http://www.gateworld.net/news/2004/12/wrightrevealsbrowderseason.shtml
http://www.gateworld.net/news/2004/12/cooperonclaudiablacksretur.shtml
http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-tribtv.story



The Reality of Cat Grooming
Submitted Tuesday, December 28, 2004 - 12:37:24 PM by Klaitu

I saw this out on the net and thought it was pretty funny!

Instructions on cat grooming product, simplified for your convenience:
1. wet cat thoroughly
2. apply product and comb through cat.s wet coat.
3. keep cat from grooming for 10 minutes.
4. rinse product thoroughly off of cat.
5. dry cat to make sure (product) is completely off cat.


Actual sequence of events:

0. cat senses you.re up to no good, hides under table.
0.2 cat runs under couch.
0.4 cat resists being picked up.
0.6 cat realizes it is being brought towards the sink.
0.8 mortal komcat!
1. wet cat thoroughly
1.2 put cat back in water and get another 1% of cat wet before cat gets out again.
1.4 amazingly, cat has managed to writhe into a position where she.s holding herself away from the faucet with all four legs, her head, and her tail.
1.6 reassure kitty that everything.s okay, yank head back to avoid claw in eye.
1.8 wet cat the rest of the way.
2. apply product and comb through cat's wet coat.
2.2 apply product with one hand while holding cat with the other
2.4 cat lunges for freedom, hides in bedroom.
2.6 find cat in box, continue grooming.
2.8 box falls to shreds, cat.s coat is fully combed through.
3. keep soaking wet cat from grooming for 10 minutes
(no, really. these people are insane.)
4. rinse product thoroughly off cat.
4.2 carry festival of whirling sharp claws back to bathroom.
4.4 put cat near stream of water.
4.6 every movable object in the bathroom falls to the floor as cat struggles in matrixesque bullet-time and attempts to propel herself through ceiling.
4.8 cat gets washed.
5. dry cat thoroughly.
5.2 chase cat around apartment with towel.
5.4 wrap cat in towel, fluff dry.
5.6 cat gets out of towel.
5.8 see 5.4
6. cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.2 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.4 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.6 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.8 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.



Ace Combat 05
Submitted Monday, December 27, 2004 - 11:49:10 AM by Klaitu

It's not just 5, it's 05! No, it's not a year.. it's the 5th in the Ace Combat Series.

The last Flight Sim I played on a console was Afterburner on the Sega Master System. I was convinced that console Flight Sims were an impossible feat.. but I saw the commercials for Ace Combat 05, and I caught the X-Play review.. and darned if I wasn't impressed, so I splurged with my Christmas money and picked up a copy. I'm glad I didn't waste my money.

Ace Combat 05 is your standard fare in flight games. Point at enemy, lock on, fire missiles.. but it feels a lot more like the original Wing Commander. You've got wingmen to command.. and they aren't incompetant. The combat areas are fun and interesting, and there's a crazy plot that only the Japanese could cook up. What's not to love?

The game takes place in an alternate reality, but all the planes in it are real, and supposedly fly somewhat realistically.. assuming you could fly a real one with a playstation controller. The game contains over 50 real aircraft, and is officially licensed by Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Northrop Grumman, and BSE.

The game looks insanely good.. it looks good to play, but looks especially good in replay mode, which you can view after every mission. Voice Acting is well done, cut-scenes and briefings are insanely well done.

I have nothing but praise for Ace Combat 05!

Overall Score: 8 of 10



TiVo Rules You
Submitted Monday, December 27, 2004 - 11:38:03 AM by Klaitu

Don't feel bad, though, TiVo rules everyone!

Everyone's heard of TiVo, but few have any actual experience with TiVo, so allow me to enlighten youse all and whatnot!

TiVo is, in actuality, a DVR system. A DVR is like a VCR, except it records everything digitally, which means that your recording is exactly the same quality as the original. The model I have (A Hughes model, no less) will also record in Dolby Digital 5.1, but unfortunately, will not record in HDTV. The whole thing cost about $200 bucks, but we threw in our assorted Best Buy cards and chipped that baby down to $91. Some models are as low as $99 to start with. Our particular model records 70 hours (the smallest is 30 hours).

TiVo can work just like a VCR, you can punch in a time and a date, and it will automatically record at that time and date.. but TiVo has some tricks up its sleeve.. some really neat tricks. It has a program guide.. it's like TV Guide channel, except it's interactive. If you see a show you want on the program guide, you can just click on it and tell it to record.. and it will. Pretty wicked. Also, say you're a big Enterprise nut like I am.. you can get a "season pass" and the TiVo will record it every time it comes on, even if the show changes days or times. Not only that, but it can differentiate between re-runs and first-runs, and it can also tell if it already has recorded a particular episodes, so you never get repeats!

TiVo also employs some high-tech recommendation calculations. On the TiVo remote are two buttons: Thumbs up and Thumbs down. Whenever you see a show you like, either by surfing, or on the program guide, you can thumbs up it, telling the TiVo that you like it. If it really sucks (like a Barbara Streisand special) you can Thumbs Down it, and it will put it into the negative pile. Supposedly this is supposed to create an accurate picture of your preferences, and TiVo will go out to find cool shows for you.

Mine's having some problems with that, though.. I thumbs upped Sealab 2021, and now it's throwing stuff like Barney and Sesame Street in there.. which I thumbs downned. I haven't had TiVo for very long though, so maybe it's still learning.

TiVo is awesome.. it truly is. If you're a busy person, or tend to like programs that come on in the middle of the night, it's pretty much indispensable. Even now, my TiVo is recording a Battlestar Galactica Marathon that began at 6 AM!

This is a must-have appliance!

Overall Score: 9 of 10!



The Aviator
Submitted Sunday, December 26, 2004 - 12:14:29 AM by Klaitu

What better to do on Christmas Day than to go see a movie, right? Apparently it's a holiday tradition that's catching on with a large crowd of people. With 50% less grandparents to visit these days, it seems like I'm in that crowd as well, so this Christmas, we went to see The Aviator.

If you've been living under a rock for awhile, you probably didn't know that The Aviator is actually a movie about Howard Hughes, the eccentric aviation innovator. It's got Leonardo Dicaprio in it as well, who remarkably looks somewhat like Howard Hughes.

The story of Howard Hughes is one of my favorites, so I was familiar with it before the film. He was basically a rich kid from Texas who had a lot of imagination and a lot of money. He made amazing movies for his day (including the original scarface).

Oh, and ladies.. ever hear of an underwire bra? Yeah, he invented that, too.. with science!

Howard Hughes was a frikkin genius!

Anyways, the movie covers his life from the time of his production of "Hells Angels" until just after his flight of the Hercules transport. You'll get to see both his genius, and his freakiness during this time period.

Make no mistake though, this film is all about Howard Hughes, and not about his aircraft, so don't expect lots of footage of spectacular flight sequences.. though it does contain footage of a plane of particular interest, the GeeBee.

The film doesn't cover Hughes later life, where he was a freako living in Las Vegas. He turned into an obsessive germophobe and eventually died of Kidney failure in 1976, after which his fortune and busnesses were dispersed to the four winds.. considering that he didn't have a will.

Oh, and if you've owned a GM car made after 1985, your radio was made by what used to be called "Hughes Aircraft Company". You probably know it better as "AC/Delco". They also manufacture DirecTV receivers under the name "Hughes Electronics".

So anyway, I found the movie to be interesting, and worth a watch.. but it's not a fun movie, and really should garner little interest from those who don't give a flip about Hughes. Everything here is top notch, except for the CGI, which is sub par.

Overall Score: 6 of 10



Merry Christmas
Submitted Friday, December 24, 2004 - 10:57:10 PM by Klaitu

Yep, that's right, Merry Christmas. Word to my homies cuz I'm outrageously chill, dogs. Bustin off a piece o that fruitcake and cut loose with the mad yuletide rhymes in the hood, by diggity.

Here's your presents, available for a limited time only:

Present 1:
The much-coveted (among nerds) Track 7 from Ecco the Dolphin CD for Sega CD. It's easy listening, and one of my oldschool favorites!

http://ds180.net/specialk/treats/ecco.mp3

Present 2:
A little hardcore metal Christmas music that I know all you rocker fans out there are going to love. Think Ozzy.

http://ds180.net/specialk/treats/ozzy.mp3

Have fun!



A Stargate Farscape Reunion?
Submitted Saturday, December 18, 2004 - 3:00:46 PM by Klaitu

Alright, you know that Claudia Black is coming up on SG-1 for as a guest-shot.. and more recently, we've learned that Ben Browder is the new series regular..

Here's some new news: Claudia Black has been signed for 5 additional episodes.. no word on any specifics just yet, but I'll have more info soon!



I will call it.. Mini Me
Submitted Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 9:10:15 PM by Klaitu

It's here! It's here! My new "slim" PS2 is here! It only took UPS a week to deliver it.. which isn't suprising since it sat in Commerce City, CO for four freakin days.

This is the part where I would dazzle you with digital pictures I have taken with the super-camera, except one of my uncles has been borrowing it for 4 months and I haven't been able to get it back despite numerous attempts.

So, you're just gonna have to live with the official Sony pic!



Gentlemen, we can rebuild it.. smaller, stronger, faster.. better than before! Okay, so that Stronger and faster part isn't true, it's pretty much exactly the same as it was before, except smaller.

So, how does it stack up to the old fattie? Well, play experience is pretty much identical. The new slim PS2 is much quieter, but I really didn't have a problem with the old "loud" variety. The AC/DC (I threw in that little joke for GB) converter is now located outside the console in a little box.. much like you would find on a laptop these days.

The Disc tray isn't really a tray anymore, it's a whole lot more like the original Playstation.. Flip-top lid, Hub-locking DVD drive. The little blue light (that I really liked) is no longer here, causing me to have a pouty face.

The fattie PS2 A/V cables are compatible with the new PS2, thank goodness (since I have S-video cables). A note, though.. the cord connects into the console upside down, a fact that had me worried a bit because I wasn't able to cram it in there the right way. Everything's cool now, though.

The slim PS2 is not compatible with the fattie's Network Adaptor. Instead, it comes with its own Net Adaptor. Software version 3.0 on this one. The Net Adaptor does not come with any online demos like the Version 2.0 disc did.

The new PS2, being not compatible with the Net Adaptor, is also not compatible with the fattie's 40GB Hard Disk Drive, which is sucktacular. This isn't a total loss, though.. as the PS2 drive will work splendidly in your PC if you're a cheap turd like I am.

The new PS2 is also not compatible with the fattie's multitap.. but only because the memory card and controller ports are physically in the wrong place in the multitap. Sony has released a new Multitap that will work with the new PS2, though.. so this is hardly an issue. The New Multitap will function as a PS1 multitap as well.

The new slim is, however, compatible with the old PS2 DVD remote kit, and has the IR receiver built right into the console itself. If you've got a universal remote, just punch in the default code for Sony DVD players and it works like a dream. The software version is 3.10 for the DVD driver. Slim also supports progressive scan DVD.

Other than that, it's pretty much like the old fattie. All your old controllers, memory cards, and such will work just like they did before.

If you've got an old fattie PS2 and it still works just fine, there's no reason to upgrade to the new one. You can obtain all the updates to catch up to the new one's capabilities from the HDD addon disc, or the DVD remote upgrade disc. The only feature that slim has that your old fattie can't support is the built in IR.. and actually, the very latest model of fattie had that too.

So, in the meantime, it's time to go shoot/kill/wrestle/quest the crap out of this new system.



Monster Cable
Submitted Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 4:39:21 PM by Klaitu

Alright, it was cute. It really was. When Monster Cable came around, I thought "okay, high quality cabling, that's nice" but this time, Monster Cable has gone off the deep end.

They're making Power Cables for the PS2 now.

POWER cables. You know, it goes from your wall to the PS2. Why would anyone need such a thing? Well, let's see what features this baby has!

"• Xtra Low Noise® construction rejects noise for best possible picture and sound"

Oh, wow, that's nifty.. except a power cable has nothing to do with picture or sound.

"• 24k-gold high-performance conductors ensure maximum power transfer"

Just exactly how much "power transfer" do you need? We're talking 110 volts / 30 amps here. It's not like we have to "Squeeze the last drop" out of the socket to get the thing to work.

"• Generous 10-ft. length provides maximum convenience when positioning console"

Ohhhh, it's GENEROUS! I love this one, because they've turned "It's 10 foot long" into this whole thing about "maximum positioning convenience".

"• Ergonomic connectors have rubber grips for easy handling"

HAHAHAHA I love this one too.. The grips are ergonomic. I love it when people have no idea what the word means! Most people think that "ergonomic" means "comfortable for hands", but it doesn't. It's a scientific field that studies and designs equipment to be less straining on humans, so that the humans are in turn more productive.

In otherwords, they are claiming that their PS2 Power cable is now biotechnology, and that using the power cord will make you a more productive worker because of the grips. Of course, that's not what they meant..

At any rate, the grips are designed to be comfortable for human hands.. and why is this? Are you going to be plugging and unplugging this baby constantly?

"• Duraflex® protective jacket ensures greater flexibility and long-lasting durability"

You know, because you're going to be doing a lot of bending on that power cord. How many times have I been alone and distraught saying "if only my PS2's power cord were more flexible and durable, my gaming experience would be much improved". Kinda brings a tear to my eye.

Yeah, so you can pay the $13 for the monster cable, or you can pay $0.99 for the official Sony cable that does the exact same thing! I wonder which one I'm gonna go for! Especially considering the monster cable is not compatible with the new baby PS2.

One of these days I'm going to do a study.. I'm gonna get all the crappiest wires I can find, and then I'm going to braid them all together and test them vs completely seperate monster cables, and I'd be willing to wager that the cabling makes zero difference at all.



The True Religious Right
Submitted Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 12:42:44 PM by Klaitu

Since the holidays are around, it's a less-efficient time to be on the great job hunt(TM) what with cars needing to be with other people and all the shopping to be done and the like, so I've been cruising the web more than usual as of late, and I don't know if this is a new surge because of the most recent election, or if I just haven't been paying attention.. but there seems to be a lot of misconception about Christians, the "Religious Right", and "The Bible Belt". I don't know what sort of clarifications I can make, but I'm going to try.

1. Christians

There are many flavors of Christian, but the primary two varieties you're going to find are Protestants and Catholics. Together, these two groups compose about 80% of the US population. The primary reason for this is because America was founded as a religious refuge in the 17th century.

What's the difference? There are two major differences between the two groups:

Catholics believe that salvation comes from doing morally right things. They believe that the Catholic church administration has the same authority as the Bible itself. They believe very much in ritual and tradition.

Protestants believe that the only action required for salvation is that you deliberately choose it, and that the morally right actions come as a response to that decision. They believe that the Bible's authority supercedes everything and everyone else.

The two groups are also similar in many ways. They share similar moral values, and believe in a lot of the same causes. The two groups also have a lot of the same goals (to feed the hungry, and minister to the poor, for instance). They are both primarily charitable groups.

For the record, I am a member of the "Protestant" group, and so when I write here, I am writing from that perspective. There are about a jillion varieties of protestants, so my beliefs will not neccessarily carry over to all protestants.

In any societal group, there are normal people, and then there are complete psychos. Christianity is no different here, but the vast majority of Christians that I have met are just ordinary, everyday people.

2. Christians and politics

Before I get too far into this, I want to acknowledge that some churches (notably the Catholic church.. but some protestant ones as well) play an active role in politics by donating to political parties and supporting particular candidates. I personally don't believe that churches should do this, but this is a discussion for a completely different time.

As a Christian, I, like many others derive my beliefs from reading the Bible. It is not only the Word of God, but also a guide to virtuous and moral living. The Bible defines what is right and what is wrong, and so it is also an ethical book. As with anyone, my beliefs affect how I behave, and also they affect how I vote and participate in government. Because many other people have determined their beliefs in the same manner, those of us who do so have been lumped into a group called the "religious right".

The "Religious Right" isn't a political action group like the AARP or the ACLU, or the Christian Coalition. It's a generic term used to describe a group of people who are only linked by similar moral values. They are also called "Christian Conservative" though that name is far less popular because it sounds less extreme. The "Religious Right" is nowhere near as organized, or as planned as many people would have you believe.

Personally, I consider myself to be more "Religious Independant". I'm not looking for right-wing activities to get involved with, I merely attempt to go with what best fits my values, just like most everyone else.

So, why do "wacky" Christians like myself do the things we do and vote the way we do? It varies. Let's go through some of the top issues:

- Abortion
Abortion is the leading "religious vs secular" debate in the nation. For me, the Abortion issue is a very strong indicator of a candidate's moral values and situation. I believe that when a child is concieved (that is, when the DNA from the mother and father combine and form new DNA) that it is automatically a human being, and should have all the rights of a human being. Because of this, aborting a child is killing a child, and it falls under the heading of murder.

Whenever I discuss this with some people, they like to condescendingly come up with "So, you don't support a woman's right to choose, huh?". It bugs me, because this statement is irrelevant to the issue. I wouldn't support a woman's right to choose to kill an adult, so why would I support a woman's right to choose to kill her children?

- War in Iraq
This one isn't a huge religious vs secular debate, but it's a huge political issue, and there are Christians who believe in both ways. I personally believe that war sucks, but sometimes it is neccessary. The question here is, "Is the war in Iraq neccessary?"

Here's a shocker: In the beginning, I don't think that the war in Iraq was neccessary, BUT if I had been given the intelligence about the Weapons of Mass Destruction from 4 independant intelligence agencies, I probably would have thought it was neccessary. I'm no president, or political mucketymuck, but thinking back to that time, I was reasonably certain that Iraq probably had weapons it wasn't supposed to have.

Now that we're in the thick of things in Iraq, I think it has become imperative that we stay in the region and finish what we started. I think it's important to support our actions in Iraq, because if we don't, even more people are going to die than would die otherwise. So long as we're stuck in this war, we might as well get it done right.

- Gay Marriage
Gay Marriage is a pretty big topic, but a recent flare-up in the "Religion vs secular" debate. So, what's the big deal? Well, It's true, the Bible declares that Homosexuality is a sin.. but let me clear up some misconceptions about that.

Sin is disobediance toward God. If you don't believe in God, then I don't think anyone in their right mind is going to expect that this is a huge concern for you.

Some of the gay folks I have talked to believe that Christians think "You're going to hell because you're gay." I'm sure there's some Christians that believe that, but I'm not one of them. If you're going to hell, you're going for reasons independant of homosexuality. God forgives sin indiscriminately for those who ask to be forgiven, so there is no sin that is an "automatic go to hell" card.

So then, what's the big deal with Gay Marriage? For a Christian, marriage is not just a legal contract that binds two people.. indeed, it is mostly a spiritual connection between one man and one woman. By advocating Gay Marriage, gay folks are attempting to take on one of the fundamental tenets of Christian belief. Most people.. on either side of the issue fail to consider that there is the "legal" level of marriage and the "spiritual" level of marriage.

Personally, I believe that all humans.. both Christian and non-christian are created equally, and that our government should treat all humans equally. I believe that any two people should be able to achieve the same familial legal relationship independantly of any sexual connotation. I believe that anyone should be able to say "I want X person given the same legal rights as a spouse would have". then, the "marriage" part has become completely seperate from the legal obligations of the government. Christians don't require the consent of the state to consider themselves married, and so neither should anyone else. The real issue is the legal aspect of the thing.

Outlawing Gay Marriage doesn't really do a whole lot. It doesn't stop gays from wanting to be married, and it doesn't stop them from committing homosexual acts, but even if it DID stop them, their mandatory compliance would mean nothing, because they would not have made a conscious choice to do so.

As a Christian, I can't vote in favor of Gay Marriage because I believe that it is morally wrong.. However, I have no choice but to vote in favor of a proposal that treats all people equally, because i am morally compelled to.

- Bush vs Kerry
I probably went through this one before during the actual election, but now that everyone's had some time to reflect, let's put it in perspective.

It seems that many folks curse those "religious fanatics" who elected Bush, and they can't fathom why anyone wouldn't vote for Kerry. Several liberal friends of mine were sort of in a daze after the election, it was as if they had never even considered the possibility that Bush would win.. maybe they didn't.

As a Christian, presidential elections are pretty much a snap. In my lifetime, the Democratic candidate has always advocated abortion. If a candidate advocates abortion, I can not vote for them. Most of the time, this leaves the only alternative being the Republican candidate.. who usually does not support abortion. I want to note though, that if both candidates supported abortion, I could vote for neither. Anyways, that's just my personal beliefs.

In the end, there were plenty of people who voted in both categories, but more people voted for Bush, and so he won. If Kerry had won, it wouldn't have been a big deal.. at least, not to me. I think that's a great thing about our government. Doesn't matter if you're a sucky president or a good president, everyone has a term limit.. and at the very least, everyone gets the chance to make a change.

3. The Bible Belt
Many times, I have seen the most recent election results blamed on "The Bible Belt" or "The Midwest". Many are the "red state yokel" insults. The situation completly changes when you look at it by county:



Which states were red? Which states were blue? Where's The Bible Belt? Why are there huge chunks of blue in the midwest? Where are all those red state yokels?

4. The Conclusion
So, here's the thing. We're living in the world's only remaining superpower. Our homeless people are richer than most other countries middle class, and in all likelyhood you're going to get to enjoy 70 to 80 years on Earth because of our medical system as it exists now. Everyone gets a chance to be heard, no matter how nutty they are, and for the most part, people are respectful of others points of view. Sure, there's room for improvement, but we're not living in huts with mud floors, either.

My advice for those who are stessed out: take it easy. Back in the 90's, all the conservatives were freaked out over how Clinton was going to "destroy us all", and now the political twister arrow is pointing Democratic. Now it's Bush that's going to "destroy us all".

Just give it some time, I'm betting we'll be here in another 4 years.



The Gutenburg Myth
Submitted Thursday, December 16, 2004 - 1:19:47 AM by Klaitu

Unicorns. Dragons. The Loch Ness Monster. Bigfoot. The Yeti. Steve Gutenburg.

Mythical creatures, or not?

As with most mysterious beings, the only pictures of Gutenburg are harried, fuzzy, and usually in very poor taste. There have been virtually no sightings of Gutenburg since the 1980's, but friends, I have rediscovered the Gutenburg in all his former glory.

That's right, Steve Gutenburg is the SON OF SANTA CLAUS in the upcoming TV movie entitled "Single Santa seeks Mrs. Claus".

SCORE!
http://www.hallmarkchannel.com/us_framework.jsp?BODY=program.jsp&CONTENT=DAM_FAM_1862806



A New Stargate Cast Member
Submitted Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 11:39:15 PM by Klaitu

Well, paint me green and call me Gumby, Farscape's Ben Browder has signed on for Stargate SG-1 season 9! Not a whole lot is known about Browder's character, but season 9 filming begins in March.

An interesting development, to be sure:
http://www.gateworld.net/news/2004/12/benbrowderjoinsistargatesg.shtml



Return of the King Extended Edition
Submitted Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - 9:17:42 PM by Klaitu

OY!

Return of the King Extended Edition has been about for about 48 hours now, and how many times have I seen it? 3 times.. already. It's a good thing that my mom has to go to work, or I would have seen it at least 10 times already. Also, the extreme length of the edition makes it so that even if you play the movie back to back, it's been awhile since you've see the first, so that's nice.

There's something like 50 minutes that have been added to the movie, mostly in the form of extended scenes. The ending of the movie isn't changed at all. All the changes made are only improvements in my opinion. They all enhance the story that already existed in the theatrical release. Unlike with the previous 2 films, ROTK didn't lose very much of the integral plot when it was cut for theatres, so this Extended Edition is not as crucial to understanding the story.. it does explain why Gandalf is missing his staff for the last half of the movie, though.. which is nice.

If you were into the theatrical relaase of ROTK, you won't be disappointed by the extended edition. I recommend you check it out, just don't watch it every day.



Diminished Capacity
Submitted Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - 12:38:06 PM by Klaitu

Howdy folks!

I just thought I'd update with a little note. It's 10 days 'till Christmas, so updates here are going to be slow or nonexistant. Don't forget to do your Christmas shopping (I know you guys are slackers!)

Catch ya on the flip side!

woah.. that was kinda hip of me.



VIVA LA REVOLUTION! Down with Ads!
Submitted Saturday, December 11, 2004 - 2:50:22 AM by Klaitu

You're sitting back, watching your favorite TV show when all of a sudden, Dr. Greg Cynaumon bursts onto your screen with a 500% volume increase. Does this make you want to buy his diet pills more than you did before the commercial?

Do people raving on about their chicken selects really make you want to go out and buy them?

Has a bodybuilder demonstrating the benefits of soloflex rev you up and make you call immediately?

I dunno about other people, but I have less than zero interest in commercials these days. At least back in the 80's and early 90's they were sometimes entertaining. These days, all you get is people screaming at you really loud, and playing their commercials 13 times every 60 minutes.

Commercials never influence my buying habits.. at all. Unless you count negatively. I got so fed up with "The Dell Dude" that I bought a Gateway. At least their talking cow was somewhat entertaining.

This also spills over into Internet Ads. I've never "shocked the monkey" and I've never "shot the duck", and "OMG my computer has spyware on it, click OK to continue".. nice try there, bud.. and no, I'm not a winner, no matter how much your banner flashes.

As a matter of fact, I can't think of a single ad I have ever clicked, unless I did it by accident or something.

Now, lest this sound like a rant, let me give you some background.. I used to work for a telemarketing company.. for like 3 days. There were hundreds of people in the call center, and every single one of them was just sitting there and getting hung up on. They had this "goals board" where they had their target sales, and whoever got to the goal won a cash bonus.

The goal was successful sales of 0.04$, and nobody achieved it for the short time that I worked there.

So, how can advertisement and spam messages possibly make anyone any money? It's just a curiosity that I find that these crap ads are so abundant, and so hated at the same time.. at least, by me.

Thoughts anyone?



A Very Playstation Christmas
Submitted Friday, December 10, 2004 - 1:32:27 PM by Klaitu

You may recall from a few weeks ago that my PS2, being rather aged, and having been dropped and slammed on the floor more than a few times, had finally decided to die on me.

As I played my delicious games, it would grunt, and groan, and tap, and buzz, and whir.. ultimately to the point where that's all it did anymore.

So, it's the christmas season, and what good is Santa if he can't hook you up with a PS2, right? Well, Here's a kicker, Sony doesn't manufacture the old, fat PS2 anymore. They;ve designed a newer, sleeker, slimmer "pstwo" that they're pushing.. and you know, I don't mind that so much.. but the problem is, my PS2 hard drive only works in the fat variety.

So, I checked into it.. perhaps a local store had a fat PS2 gathering dust on a shelf in the back of a warehouse somewhere. I surfed the net, I played phone tag, I even wrote an e-mail.. but it turns out that there's also a run on PS2's this christmas season, and all the "fatties" had been the first out the door.

And it never failed, they wanted to sell me a used one. Well, screw that, I already HAVE a used one.. i know why people are turning theirs in.. it's because their PS2 has taken a tumble as many times as mine has, so that's hardly a solution. Even if I were to catch a functioning PS2, there's no telling how long it would work before crapping out on me.

So, stuck between a used fattie, and a new slimmie, I went with the new slimmie.. but what to do with that juicy PS2 40 gig drive.. It's got standard ATA connectors on the back.. maybe I can slap that puppy into my computer, right? It sure beats the 10 gig supplementary drive I have now.

So, I checked into it.. get this, the Sony PS2 Hard Drive is actually a Seagate Barracuda 5400 with Sony stickers on it. If you're like me, you're probably going to need the Jumper settings (which is the whole reason I was researching the drive in the first place). The slave setting is "no jumpers". That's convienient, since I don't actually have any spare jumpers to put on it. Here's the product page, just incase you need it:
http://www.seagate.com/support/disc/ata/st340015a.html

So now all I have to do is pawn off my old broken PS2 and my network adaptor and hook myself up with some pimpin... games or accessories or somethin.



The Cage
Submitted Thursday, December 9, 2004 - 4:03:10 PM by Klaitu

Alright you Treksters out there, you know "The Cage" was the original Star Trek pilot where Spock is the only returning character. Well, I uncovered a pretty interesting behind-the-scenes story regarding the original print, which I will share with you... now!

When "The Cage" was made, only two prints were created from the negative: a b/w "work print", which Roddenberry claimed as his own copy and used to take to conventions, both before and after ST sold as a series, and a colour print which belonged to Desilu.

When the decision was made to use "The Cage" footage to create a two-parter, the only colour print (and matching negative) were cut up and spliced into new footage to create "The Menagerie Parts I & II". The unused portions went missing, presumed misfiled (when Desilu became Paramount), or trashed.

That left only the b/w print intact. It was only a curiosity now that colour TV was so firmly established but, during Season One of TNG, someone got the brainwave to use Gene's b/w print to supplement all the colour stuff (from the first pilot that remained in "The Menagerie") to make a broadcast copy of "The Cage". It was actually very clever, since the b/w portions denoted the "new" (to most fans) footage without the need for a voiceover or commentary.

After the b/w & colour version aired in the Patrick Stewart-hosted TV special and was then released to home video, the original editor of "The Menagerie" happened to see Roddenberry's introduction and realised that he had the so-called "lost" clips and/or negative portions in a box in his attic, so a new, all-colour version of "The Cage" was now prepared for release to home video.

It's these two versions that are on the DVD. There is supposedly an editing error in the all-colour video version - the Talosian is in the elevator at a weird time - but essentially the two versions have the same running time and content - and are the same as the 1989 documentary airing of the b/w & colour compile and the two video releases.
The remastered and restored full-color version of "The Cage" appears on the Season 3 TOS box set, which has arrived just in time for the holidays.



Star Trek Anime
Submitted Wednesday, December 8, 2004 - 1:49:27 PM by Klaitu

I picked up an interesting conversation.. "What if Star Trek were anime?:

-The ship would be known as the Federation Super Space Fortress Enterprise and would be able to transform from a starship to a high-powered mega cannon capable of destroying entire star systems in a single blast.

-The crew would be predominantly composed of very busty babes in very tightfitting miniskirt uniforms with an amazing ability to bounce their boobs even when standing perfectly still.

-The sole male on the ship is the captain--a brooding, long-haired, cloak-wearing androgynous type who laments in his quarters over the death of his equally androgynous (but fun-loving) male Academy friend to some disaster he feels responsible for.

-Transforming mecha? You better believe it, baby! Fighter ships switching into 40-foot tall, pulse-phaser cannon slingin' armored robots!

-One of the buxom babes on the ship will eventually be revealed as a benevolent goddess who had previously lost all memory of being so until some event triggers her powers again.

-The Cybera would be introduced as a hostile, all-female robotic race bent on destroying all males on the planet Earth and only the crew of the Federation Super Space Fortress Enterprise can stop them!

- The ship's First officer would be unable to fathom why the current captain got command of the ship, and not him, and would try to show the captain as imcompotent and bring up that he should have been the one in command. His response to almost every situation would be to shoot first and ask questions later.

- Somehow, someway, someone is going to light the butt of their pants on fire and then run around screaming until finally they are able to sit in a bucket of water.

- Kirk would have blue hair.

- Instead of "set phasers to stun" the Japanese translation will be "This phaser, which I have specially equipped to defeat our enemies, can incapacitate even the strongest of foes, and yours should too!"

- Starfleet now issues white cotton panties with kittens, and white kneehigh socks as the standard female uniform.

- Jadzia Dax? She'd be wearing glasses and act all nerdy, but secretly she would be a sex addict, if only some man could see past those glasses and let down her hair.

- Enterprise computer beeps and boops now replaced by boings and whistles.

- Kira will hold a slumber party for all the female officers, during which Leeta will discover Kira's breast enlargement device, which will get stuck on each of the women.. and Quark, who was catering.. resulting in giant breasts for all!

- Tuvok turns into a werewolf if he doesn't have sex every 7 years.

- Be'lanna Torres now has ears and a tail like a cat.



Moulin Rouge
Submitted Saturday, December 4, 2004 - 4:50:58 PM by Klaitu

Okay, so I just now saw it! I know it was supposed to be some big deal in the theater!

The synopsis for this movie is simply vague and somewhat misleading. It's basically the story of Ewan Macgregor falling in love with Nichole Kidman.. or so the DVD box would have you believe.

In actuality, this is sort of a cross-breed between "Romeo + Juliet" and "Chicago". Throw in a little "A Knight's Tale" and you've got yourself Moulin Rouge.

The visuals of the movie are grandiose and complicated. There are a lot of strange camera pulls and odd closeups, and even stranger lighting. There is also a squadron of singing fairies. It's also a neat sidenote that you're watching people in a theatre watch a movie where the people in the movie are acting out a play that happens to reflect exactly what's going on outside the play. There's also a pretty nifty credit-roll at the end, too.

The music is an odd blend of 20th century pop music. There's some Madonna, some Nirvana, some U2.. and about 20 or 30 other popular songs, except they've been remixed into show tunes and are sung by the characters. It's not that this is bad, It's really well done, it's just.. exceedingly odd.

Also, I'm pretty sure that someone was on crack when this movie was being produced. It's comedic, and extremely ridiculous at times, but it is also obvious that this is intentional.

When I try to classify Moulin Rouge as one kind of film or another, it's difficult. Moulin Rouge is sort of a comedy, live show, drama musical.

So, here's the skinny on the story:

Ewan MacGregor is a writer. He helps some neighbors with a play they are doing, and they want him to write a new show for the Moulin Rouge. Les Moulins itself is basically an expensive Bordello, but the owner wants to renovate it into a theater, and to do this he needs an investor. The idea is that they will do a play in the new theater and that will pay off the investor.

Ewan meets the star of the Moulin Rouge, Nichole Kidman. At first, she mistakes him for this important investor.. who turns up in an akward moment. A bit of quick thinking results in the entire play being written and cast to draw off his suspicion.

As part of his contract deal, the investor has insisted that Nichole Kidman be his escort (she is, after all, a prostitute). The only problem is that Ewan has taught her what real love is, and she doesn't want to be a prostitute, and doesn't want to be with the investor. Nichole and Ewan have a sort of "affair" even though there's no actual marriage involved. The movie tries to create suspense by having the investor "almost" discover them about a dozen times, but in the end it doesn't really matter.. you can spor the ending of the movie from the first 20 minutes of the film.

At the end, I found the movie readily enjoyable. It has next to no substance, but it's supposed to be a fluff film, so that's a non-issue. The music is splendorful and the visuals are interesting. It's a great movie to watch with some buddies.

Overall Score: 7 of 10



Blade: Trinity
Submitted Thursday, December 2, 2004 - 10:53:00 PM by Klaitu

Did you see Blade 1?
Did you see Blade 2?

If you answered "yes" to either of those questions, then you've already seen Blade 3!

So, let me sum up.. Wesley Snipes is a black kung-fu vampire ninja. He kills vampires. Lots of vampires. Big vampires, small vampires.. it doesn't matter. That's what Blade does.

Look out, it's the unleashing of the big, bad Dracula! The first vampire ever! Hey, wait a minute.. Dracula is a vampire.. and Blade kills vampires.. I wonder what's gonna happen.

If you expected any finality to the series, Blade's character, or even the plotlines started at the first of the movie, lower your expectations now and save yourself some trouble. The only conclusion to this movie is decided by the "final showdown" between Blade and Dracula.

Still, Blade has some alright kung-fu action. The fighting in this one is not as good as the first one, but there's not a whole lot of CGI like the second one had.

The shining star in all of this is the comic relief, Ryan Reynolds. He manages to be pretty humorous throughout the movie, and never comes off as cheesy.

Oh yeah, and Triple H is in it too.

Overall Score: 4 of 10



Present Purchasing!
Submitted Wednesday, December 1, 2004 - 2:42:08 PM by Klaitu

I dunno how it is around your house, but my entire family is horrible at selecting gifts for one another.. especially my parents. Many a year have they fallen back on the age-old device of giving money or gift certificates as a present.

Gift Giving Rules

It never fails.. year after year you know what I get for christmas? I get about 5 $30 Best Buy cards from various people. During an off year, I will get both Best Buy and Blockbuster cards, which are not compatible, so I have to sell someone the Blockbuster Card so that I have a currency that can be used at Best Buy.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love free money as much as the next guy.. and I'm not going to say that gift cards, or even money is a neccessarily bad gift.. it's just that they're kinda impersonal, and you don't get to keep them. You spend the card, it's gone. The gift you got was replaced by whatever you bought, and there's no memory associated with it. Heck, if I hadn't written an article last year about what I bought with my christmas money, I wouldn't even remember.

So, here's some special Klai-tips for those of you out there who don't know what to give for christmas:

1. Try to avoid items that are perishable. Gift cards, money, Gift Certificates, Food. You use these items once or twice, and then they're gone.

2. Services are perishable, but are not items. Some folks love spa treatments, and since you can't put a spa treatment in a box, you're gonna have to go with a coupon or gift card.

3. Shop for them, not for you. When I go present shopping, it seems like I am always seeing stuff that I would want, but my "subject" would probably not want. Got to stay focussed!

4. Don't give someone something they need. Give them something they want. The best gift is always a pure want, and is something that they thought unattainable, or would never buy for themselves because they couldn't responsibly justify the cost. Gifts that are both "needed" and "wanted" are secondary to pure "want" gifts. Remember, gifts are fun, not a means to compensate for one another's bills.

5. If you're shopping for a female, do not give her bath oils, bath salts, scented candles, or body spray. They are default presents. She's going to get them anyway, so you might as well spend your money on something better.

6. If you ask them, they'll tell you what they want.. but here's a little secret: people don't always know exactly what they want. You can usually find something better than what they want if you look hard enough.. and for goodness sake, DON'T ask them what they want.. Ask their spouse, siblings, or parents (in that order).

7. If you are buying for a young child, do not under any circumstances, for any reason, buy a toy that makes loud electronic noises. You not only torture the parents, you torture everyone in the room when they open it, which usually includes yourself, you sadist!

The Perfect Gift

Here's a story from Christmas Past: In 1989 I was a huge Star Trek fan. My uncle (the Ecuador one) gave me what is, quite possibly, the best gift I have ever received. It was a 2 foot model of the Constitution Class Enterprise-A (Kirk's ship). It wasn't just any model, though.. it was a model from a kit that he had assembled and painted, and the paint was accurate. Unfortunately, it hasn't survived intact through the years, but I still have it and the various pieces. Maybe one day I will be able to repair it (I've tried a half-dozen times).

This was a totally awesome gift because: A. It's something I loved B. It's something unique C. Even as a kid, I could tell he put effort into it D. It revealed part of his personality, and E. It will forever remind me of him.

Over the years, I've gotten a lot of nice things from people, and a lot of really great gifts. That one just sticks out in my mind, because I think it is probably the first amazing gift I ever received.

If you can find something like that, it trumps all other gifts, so go for it. Don't worry if you can't pull it off, though.. it's not something you can do consistantly year after year.

The Good Gift

If the Perfect Gift isn't an option this year, go for something that is "woah, that rocks" good. With time, the memory of how they got the gift, and who gave it to them may fade, but they will continue to enjoy it for many years. I should guess that the vast majority of good non-certificate gifts fall into this category. Try to hit as many of the "perfect gift" rules as you can!

The Adequate Gift

Adequate gifts are "Hey, at least you got me something" category. Nobody aims for this tier, and you really only get Adequate gifts if they screw up getting you a good gift. It's uaually a good gift, but it just doesn't mesh with who you are. An example: One year I wanted "Flashback", a game for Sega Genesis. Instead, I got "Back to the Future", a game for PC. I had fun with Back to the Future, but it was no Flashback. Gift certificates and perishables are on the line between "good" and "adequate" so if you're pretty sure you're gonna end up with an adequate, you might want to wuss out and go for the gift card.. but only use that as a last resort.

The Sucky Gift

The Sucky gift is usually given to you by distant relatives, or by your parent's grandparents. People who you have hardly ever met, or see maybe once a year, and are obliged to give you a gift, but have no clue who you are. Let me tell you, I have received my fair share of sucky gifts. What makes a sucky gift?

Socks, underwear, generic clothing (specific clothing is ok), boring ties, pajamas, flimsy toys, loud toys, cheap figurines, air fresheners, and cheap car accessories are among the things you will find in this list. Don't even consider buying a Sucky Gift. You have to AIM to get a sucky gift, so don't do it! You're better off saving your money and giving no gift at all.

Many times the Sucky Gift applies to children. The "Gifter" has bought something that the parent will appreciate, but the child will hate. Remember the bunny suit in "A Christmas Story"? It's not a joke, that actually happens! Don't let yourself give that crap! Especially to children. I had a great aunt who gave me socks every year until she died. I don't even remember her name, but I knew she gave me crappy socks over and over. Don't let that be your epitaph!

Gift Choosing

Choosing a gift is all about people. Who are they? What's their personality? What are their dreams? When are they happiest?

Category 1: Cats

Holy crap! I mentioned pets! Am I insane? WTF?

Here's the deal, do you own a cat? I do. If you have a christmas tree, your cat is gonna pee on it, particularly if this is his first Christmas. Christmas trees emit pine smell, which means that a cat needs a super-anti smell to mark their territory. Pee it is.

So, the best gift you can give your cat is to pay a lot of attention to him, as much as you possibly can during the holiday season. If your kitty doesn't feel threatened by the tree, there will be no pee! This is really a gift you give yourself, because you have no idea how hard it is to clean off a peed tree. It's pretty much impossible. (set it outside until it happens to rain.. which is uncommon because it usually snows in December)

Category 2: The Pushover

The Pushover is usually attention-starved. Maybe they have no family, or they live alone.. heck, maybe they're just really ugly and live in a belltower. Whatever the reason, nobody ever pays attention to them.. so they'll be happy with just about whatever they get, because of the attention you gave them in getting them a gift. They are usually co-workers.

Single moms can fall into this category easily, especially divorced single moms, or other women who have been mistreated by their male counterparts. Men can be pushovers too, but it's less likely.

For Men: Buckets of popcorn, candy, Christmas cards

For Women: Music Boxes, Cheap Jewelry, Christmas cards

Category 3: The Denialist

The Denialist is usually the toughest person to shop for, because you have to get them something great despite themselves. So, what's the deal with the Denialist? Well, they're basically an Active form of the pushover. They need attention, and so they tell you that they don't want a gift, but secretly hope that you get them one anyways. When you deliver one, it makes them happy because it reaffirms their self-esteem, which in itself is a gift.

This one is tricky, because a Denialist secretly belongs in some other category, but you don't know which one unless you really scrutinize them.

Category 4: The Technocrat

The Technocrat is into electronics. There's all sorts of Technocrats (I'm one!) you've got the gamers, the music lovers, the movie lovers.. you've got the PC nuts, computer freaks, photography people.. Basically, they want stuff that usues electricity.. or something that goes into something that uses electricity.

If you're not a Technocrat, they're hard to shop for. If you are a Technocrat, this is a shoe-in gift.

For Men and Women: Video Games, CD's, DVD's, Digital Cameras

Category 5: The Utilitarian

This is the kind of person that, if you were to ask them what they wanted, they would say "Give me money so I can pay my bills!". We know better than to do that, though. If we gave them money, they'd blow it all on bills, and the gift would cease to exist in any meaningful sense.

The Utilitarian needs something that they enjoy, but will be useful to them. The gift is usually an appliance.

For Men and Women: Fancy Coffee machines, Car Stereo, Computerized Thermostat, certificates for free car servicing, household flourescent lightbulbs, coffee tumblers, furniture

Category 6: The Collector

Collectors are in themselves rare. Ironic, no? Collectors collect.. crap. Stamps, thimbles, acrylic angels, elephants, nutcrackers, stuffed animals.. whatever.

Their gifts are pretty simple: get them an example of whatever it is they collect. The trick is getting something that they don't already have.

Category 7: The Children

Do you have any idea what the coolest toys are this Christmas? Neither do I! It's easy enough to find out.. in fact, I think that's the whole reason that the mall santa was invented. "What did you tell santa?" Then the kid spills the beans, never the wiser. Those of us who are less nefarious simply need to ask the kids siblings, or the kids parents.

Childrens gifts are never constant, except for the fact that they are always toys or video games. Avoid the cheap-level gifts, as kids can obtain those on their own throughout the course of the normal year. Christmas is the kids opportunity to get the "mega-whopper" gift that seems unattainable. If needed, combine your purchasing power with the kids parents to get that mega-cool expensive thing.

I'm referring to older children of course. Children under 4 basically are oblivious to their surroundings, and have no idea that Christmas is even happening.

Young kids (4ish and under): Throw em a plastic kitchenette set, plastic tool set, or large plastic vehicle.

Older kids (5 and up): Follow the trends. For this year, the "Bratz" dolls have overtaken Barbie as the doll of choice for little girls. For boys, you're gonna want action figures.. GI Joe is making a resurgance currently.

Concluding

People usually don't fall neatly into any of those categories.. you might have a Denialist Technocrat Collector on your hands, just go with whichever seems to fit the best. Most people have an overriding propensity toward one category or another. If you're having trouble getting a gift for someone, it probably means that you don't know them all that well. There just isn't any way around that, except to get to know them better.

I'm going to be back later on with some really nifty gift ideas for anyone on your Christmas list, so stay tuned.. and whatever you do, stay away from Nero's soap!



"It smells exactly what I'd expect Paris Hilton to smell like,"
Submitted Wednesday, December 1, 2004 - 12:31:29 PM by Klaitu

Man oh man. Britney Spears has a perfume, so does Paris Hilton. They're both released them for the holidays.. but the question is: does anyone wanna smell like a ho?

NEW YORK — It's the blonde leading the blonde ... and something smells tarty.

Two celebrity perfumes have arrived in time for the holidays and, depending on your tolerance for pop-tart culture, you'll love them, hate them or buy them as gag gifts.

In one corner, lifting her shoulder seductively, smiling — and occasionally showing us she's not wearing any underwear — is the always understated Paris Hilton .

Her new scent, cleverly called "Paris Hilton", has notes of frozen apple, peach nectar and wet ozone, according to the New York Post.

The ad copy speaks for itself: "Now you have the opportunity to share a bit of the magic that is Paris Hilton."

In the other corner is Britney Spears' new fragrance, "Curious".

Itself a bit curious, the Post took a whiff and said Spears' "coquettish" new perfume should be called "Trailer Nights," and described it as having notes of Louisiana magnolia, golden Anjou pear and blond woods.

Both new fragrances are $49 for 3.4 oz.

In the blondes' bottle battle at department stores, the new Mrs. Federline is ahead by a nose: "Curious" has been a best-seller at Macy's since its debut months ago, the Post reported.

"Britney's smells clean — it's soft, not overwhelming," Tracy Norris, a 40-year-old mom shopping there with her daughter, Delaney, 9, told the Post. "I'd let my daughter wear it."

But after taking a whiff of celebutante Hilton's new fragrance, Norris said, "It's a little too strong. I'd maybe wear that one at night. It's not an everyday perfume."

Cindy Gallop, 44, snatched up six bottles of the Paris perfume this weekend, some for her little nieces who love the skinny Guess model, and some for girlfriends as a gag gift because they think she's "appalling."

"It smells exactly what I'd expect Paris Hilton to smell like," Gallop told the Post. "Overly sweet, overly strong and not at all subtle."

Celeb scents are a huge business — just ask J-Lo. Her "Glow" scent was such a hit she launched a follow-up called "Still."

Jessica Simpson's "Taste" tastes like white chocolate and coconut because husband Nick Lachey hated tasting perfume when he kissed her. And Beyoncé recently teamed up with Tommy Hilfiger to produce "True Star."

But one consumer, Amedeo Longo, isn't sold. The Canadian e-mailed "Fox and Friends Weekend" suggesting Britney and Paris sell a perfume gift set called "Dumb and Dumber."
http://www.foxnews.com/printer_friendly_story/0,3566,140066,00.html