November 2008

Home Alone 9: Lost in Iraq
Submitted Thursday, November 27, 2008 - 4:06:25 PM by Klaitu

I somehow got roped into watching Home Alone this Thanksgiving, and it occurred to me that Home Alone and Die Hard are pretty much the same movie, except there's one with an adult and one with a kid.. so then I thought I would make a brilliant movie.

It's been 18 years since Kevin McCallister foiled the bandits attempting to pilfer his home. Now, McCallister has joined the army and has been deployed to Iraq.. to a particularly dangerous portion of Iraq: the US Embassy.

When terrorist tensions escalate, the US forces are forced to withdraw, but Private Kevin McCallister oversleeps as he is completely buzzed out on Opium. When he comes to, he finds himself alone in the US embassy with a throng of terrorists wanting to get in and kill him!

Utilizing all of his skill and experience that he used to defeat Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern in 1990, McCallister shuts down the terrorists as they try to enter the embassy by tricking them into stepping on land mines, and causing them to slip uncontrollably on his collection of vintage micromachines.

Oh, and did I mention that it's also Christmas? Yeah, that's right, it's Christmas vs Terrorism!

You have to admit, this movie has a better premise than most you have seen this year, huh?

The Lord of the Rings Online: Mines of Moria
Submitted Wednesday, November 26, 2008 - 7:21:58 AM by Klaitu

You may recall my previous descriptions of Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar. The articles are Adventures in Arda and The Actual Review.

I mention this because my experience with LOTRO's new expansion pack is pretty close to the experience I had with the original game itself. There are tons of new features that you could read about from Turbine's PR machine, but here's the bottom line:

Mines of Moria is just as great, if not better than the original. Gameplay is still solid, and now there's just more of it.. but above all, the most impressive thing about Mines of Moria is the "nerd out factor".. as in "OMG I'm going to Lothlorien to talk to Galadriel but I've been stopped by Noldir" kind of nerd factor.

And, by the way, Lothlorien makes Rivendell look like a dump.

So, for all these factors, LOTRO retains its 8 of 10 rating, a superb showing.

Beta Pictoris b
Submitted Wednesday, November 26, 2008 - 7:13:03 AM by Klaitu

What is Beta Pictoris b?

It's the name of a planet! But wait, we already know all the planets don't we?

Well, Beta Pictoris b isn't located in our solar system. It's in a star system named Beta Pictoris of the Pictoris constellation, and it's 63 light-years away.

Scientists aren't sure that Beta Pictoris b really exists or not, but I have to say.. having a freaking picture of it actually does lend it some weight:

Traditional Holidays
Submitted Wednesday, November 26, 2008 - 6:05:23 AM by Klaitu

Thanksgiving is coming up.. at least for us United States people. You Canadians already had yours, I suppose.. but I wouldn't know about that.

This time of year is easily one of my favorites, and for the past couple of years I've been really trying to assess why that is.

As an aside, my years of investigation have revealed that I am in a vast minority of people when it comes to trying to discover why I view things the way that I do.. and that makes me weird.

Well, so be it. I'm gonna spew some weird at you.

The Holiday season is made up of the "big 4" holidays of the year. (There are 2 other "big" holidays, but they don't fall in a sequence)

1. Halloween

I was never one of those "halloween kids". Like every other kid my age, I of course, have been trick-or-treating in the past.

As a kid, I wasn't really "all about" candy, nor was I really all that much into witches and ghosts and whatnot. In fact, as a kid I was pretty much terrified of anything that might resemble a skeleton.

I don't really have that many fun halloween memories to recall. I remember being scared to death of asking strangers for anything while dressed in an embarassing costume that my mom picked out for me. I remember I didn't get to keep all the candy that I managed to collect during this horrifying experience. In the end, I never felt Halloween was worth the effort.

I suppose that's why I don't have the nostalgic fondness for halloween that most people my age do. As I grew up and got into my tweens and teens, Halloween became more about choosing between "church people" and "normal people" and if you want to call it "holyween" or "harvest festival" or who knows what. In the end, it became a holiday that was a lot of effort for nothing.

In fact, I'd have to say that there's one thing I miss about Halloween it's pumpkin carving.. I haven't carved a pumpkin in at least 12 years.

2. Thanksgiving

As a kid this was sort of a dud holiday for me. There's no candy like halloween, there's no presents like Christmas. It's just a day where you have to get up early so that you can eat food that you wouldn't normally eat, and then be bored to death because all the adults fall asleep.

As I grew up into the teenage years, Thanksgiving got a lot better with the introduction of the Sega Genesis. Now it wasn't just a bore-tastic holiday, it was a 4 day weekend! 4 glorious days of video gaming at Grandma's House with my sister and my cousins. There are few memories that I hold with such high esteem as those few years of gaming at grandma's with family.

These days my grandma is no longer with us, and there's not really any Thanksgiving link with that side of my family. It's understandable, what with everyone's kids having kids and whole generations shifting downward and everything. It's part of life and all, but it's one of the things I'll always miss.

Things got pretty bland after my grandma passed on, it left the "thanksgiving load" squarely on my other grandma's hands.. and for the past few years, my family has done Thanksgivings at restaurants. I don't want to speak bad about my grandfolks, they have their reasons, but I am not a big fan of thanksgivings in a restaurant.

This year should be different.. Thanksgiving at Grandma's house.. as it was meant to be. Actually, I am pretty sure that Grandmas and Thanksgiving are a symbiotic relationship. You either go to Grandma's house, or YOU are the grandma.. if there's not a grandma in there somewhere, your Thanksgiving is a total dud.

And while I'm ranting about Thanksgiving? What's the deal with Thanksgiving food? Turkey? It's okay, but chicken is far superior. Ham? I was never a fan. What about all that other stuff.. Cranberry sauce and that kinda stuff that nobody eats except on holidays.. whats up with that?

But there is one food at thanksgiving that I dig: Grandma's Mashed Potatoes. Of course, people make mashed potatoes all year round, which leads me to believe that people only eat all that other stuff once a year because it sucks, and people are only choking it down because it's traditional.

Well, I'll show them. Thanksgiving 2048 is going to be awesome because I'll be making giant steaks for everyone! Of course, the meat will have been frozen in suspended animation because cows will be illegal because their farts are killing the ozone.. but I digress.

3. Christmas

Oh man, the mac-daddy of all holidays. I understand that Hannukah is supposed to be a big deal.. but here in Oklahoma, there are very few Jewish people. It's basically 90% protestant all up in here, and then the remaining 10% are militant athiests that go around trying to protest Santa Claus (even though Santa Claus is not a christian figure).

As a kid, what could be better. When winter break from school started up, you knew it was only a matter of time before you raked in the awesome presents that awaited you.. if only you could hammer a clue into those adults as to what you wanted so you don't get socks or some crap like that.

In my teenage years, I ended up getting a lot of gift cards for electronics stores, while my cousins ended up getting things like T-shirts that cost 60 bucks, or nickel-plated wallet chains. I could never figure out why anyone could ever be happy with clothes as a gift, but they were.

I didn't know it at the time, but apparently I was the weird one, that's why I was getting impersonal gift cards, and others were getting the kind of stuff they wanted.

These days the trend continues. Let's just say I have $75 in Best Buy gift cards in my wallet from last year. When I get my load from this year, I'll have enough to get something spectacular! I just hope Best Buy doesn't go bankrupt before I get the chance to use those cards.

The best part about christmas.. and my favorite part is what I like to call "the whammy". Whenever I have the means to give gifts, I like to really do it up right. A tie? pshaw. Gift Cards? Don't think so. When I give a gift, it's like I drop a little nuclear bomb of awesome on someone.

Oh sure, some people prefer to pepper people with a lot of tiny gifts, but that's now how I roll! You know you hit paydirt when they say things like "it's too much, I can't accept it" or some such polite-type thing.. that's where the whammy comes in, because then you go "oh yeah? well BAM that wasn't all of it!" and then you drop another gift bomb on them.

Of course, you can't just deploy nuclear gifts willy-nilly, so there is some strategy involved in deployment. I mean, you don't want someone to think that you're trying to out-gift them or any of that nonsense.. and you really have to work on finding the correct nuclear gift payload. If you get the wrong thing it sucks because you probably just spent a lot of money, and they didn't really like it that much.

This year? I can't put the whammy on anyone, I don't have any money.. but next year.. oh, just you wait. Someone's gonna get it!

4. New Years Day

New Years Day has always had a sort of connotation to it.. when you're a kid, it signals the end of Winter Break.. and that's not good. As an adult, you probably got stuck going to work between christmas and new years, so that's not so great anyway.

New Years Day is sort of like "free parking" on the monopoly board. It's not a bad place to land.. but at the same time.. well, nothing much happens. It's a pretty boring day.

I suppose that's well and good for all the people who got drunk and made out the night before.. but I'm not much of a drinker, and the ladies haven't really been all that makey-outie on New Years for me.

So, I'd have to say that New Years is only slightly better than Halloween because at least you might not have to work (or go to school) that day.

Come to think of it, the only New Years day I remember was the turn of the century. I was in Ultima Online, killing a kraken that Bram Stormgald had fished up on his boat.

Perhaps this explains the earlier situation with the ladies.

Oh well.. those are the 4 traditional holidays.. and they come 1 to a month, which is pretty awesome this time of year. There's not another big holiday until Easter.. unless you count Valentine's Day (which is Halloween for girls).

Contact Klaitu!
Submitted Saturday, November 22, 2008 - 7:22:14 AM by Klaitu

Well, all my communications stuff has been restored!

Here's pretty much all my contact information, feel free to give me a yell online sometimes!

ICQ: 481810764
AIM: KlaituAIM
MSN: klaitu_alec@hotmail.com (not an actual E-mail address)
YAHOO: Klaitu_alec
Xbox Live: Klaitu
Playstation Network: Klaitu
E-mail: klaitu@ds180.net
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/klaitu
Facebook: Klaitu Ben-Johhn

Communication Disintegration
Submitted Friday, November 21, 2008 - 4:36:08 PM by Klaitu

Recently, I've been using Trillian for all my Instant Messaging needs. Trillian allow you to connect 4 of the big IM programs into a single program. That way you don't have to run 4 entirely different programs.

The other night I was watching TV, and I saw the ICQ light blink out on my trillian. This isn't uncommon, as ICQ has probably the least reliable IM network of the 4. It wasn't until the next day that my problems began.

When I tried to log into ICQ, I kept getting "invalid password" messages. At first I thought it was being crazy, as I had a strong password on my account, and I had one of those "whats your dog's name" questions, too. If someone wanted to hack my account and change the password, it would be difficult to do.

I went to the ICQ site to see if I couldn't retrieve my password.. but amazingly, the CAPTCHA picture was broken, and so I couldn't do anything at all, not even create a new ICQ account.

I looked up my own online profile, but none of my personal data was changed.. so at this point, I don't know if I've been hacked or what. I certainly have zero access to my ICQ account.

With no other choice, I waited a day just to see what would happen.. and that day is today.

Today, the CAPTCHA does work on the ICQ site, but I wasn't able to retrieve any passwords or anything like that. My personal information is still intact.. but I can't create a new ICQ account because "there was an error".

So, for those of you who regularly converse with me on ICQ, now you know why I've been gone, and you know that someone else potentially has my ICQ number.

In the coming days, I will post an update to all this so everyone knows what's what, but in the meantime, be prepared to get an authorization request from me on a strange, new ICQ number with too many digits!

If I can ever get it to work, I will probably switch from Trillian to Pidgin since I will have to reconstruct my contact list anyway.

The New Xbox 360 Experience
Submitted Thursday, November 20, 2008 - 3:36:21 AM by Klaitu

Well, it's out now and I figured I'd write a little something about it.

After playing with the new 360 experience for some time, I've come to one conclusion: Microsoft seriously wants to carve into the video games market.

I say this because previously, Microsoft treated this whole "Xbox thing" as a sort of side enterprise. Think of all the things that Microsoft does.. Windows, Web Pages, Web Advertising, Search Engines, Security Research, The Zune.. they certainly have a scattered philosophy.

They basically took a nap through the previous console generation, getting dominated by both the Gamecube and the PS2. All indications were, Microsoft didn't really care about it all that much.. you know, like how they treat the Zune today.

I'm readily convinced that whoever is running the show over in X-box land has strapped themselves in for the long haul, because the new design on the 360 is lightyears ahead of its previous "blades" interface.. which not only sucked, it was crap, too.

Now, I know some of you will hate me for saying this, but what the 360 has done is stolen the PS3's "xrossmediabar" except that they did it better than Sony did.

Things are categorized the same way.. a section for games, videos, etc.. but the 360 does it in a slick, responsive way.

Two things I must mention that are outstanding:

1. The new marketplace is fantastic. Remember when you used to have to scroll through lists and lists of videos, or games.. and it would take FOREVER for the information to populate? That's gone now. Instantaneous popup of the information you want.. as if it was on the hard drive all along. The videos even have their associated movie posters, so you can now speed-flip through them for stuff that doesn't suck!

2. You can now copy your disc games to the hard drive. Most Excellent, considering the 360's penchant for scratching discs and crashing. Shorter load times abound!

Probably the biggest gun that the 360 has aimed at the PS3 is the Netflix access. Now you can stream your Netflix movies straight to your 350. This is an amazing idea, but it has 2 flaws: 1. Microsoft defines "High Definition" as 720p, which is technically true, but it's doesn't match the quality of the PS3's 1080p. 2. Sony movies are currently unavailable. Such things are bound to happen when your competitor is a movie studio.

However, the very best thing about the new 360 experience is that it's completely free! Microsoft actually decided not to charge for this most excellent feature. Now all they have to do is stop charging for the rest of the stuff that should be free.

This really isn't a review, because if you own a 360 and it's connected to the internets, you can't avoid getting the update. All I can really tell you is that this update is awesome, and everyone should be happy with it.

It will be interesting to see how this stacks up to PSHome, but from what I have heard, I think that the 360 has a better philosophy.

Show Me Boobs!
Submitted Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 1:45:21 AM by Klaitu

Survey says!

New Trek Trailer
Submitted Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 1:31:04 AM by Klaitu

Not to nerd out on y'all or anything, but..

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

NEW STAR TREK TRAILER!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrek/

NBC is the new FOX?
Submitted Saturday, November 15, 2008 - 12:11:59 AM by Klaitu

My sister has problems watching Christian Slater. She considers him the "Young Jack Nicholson", which is ironic, because in order to become the young Jack Nicholson, he had to get older.

Well, it seems my sister won't have to worry about catching Christian Slater any time soon, as his new show, "My Own Worst Enemy" just got cancelled.. after airing only 4 episodes.

Ouch, that's got to hurt.

And you know, I have to say that it's a shame, because it really was a unique show, and I liked watching it simply because it was unique. You really had to think to figure out who was doing what to whom.

So, why was it cancelled? The official reason, of course, is "low ratings".. but I don't think that's the underlying cause. I have two theories..

Remember when the Mission Impossible movie came out, and Tom Cruise was in it, and people hated it because "the plot was too confusing"? I think My Own Worst Enemy might have run into that. It was certainly more complex than Mission Impossible's plot, and with less explosions.

(for those of you still confused about MI, here's the tidbit you are missing: Mr. Phelps is a traitor.. he's a traitor the whole time. It isn't a guy that looks like Mr. Phelps, it really is Mr. Phelps)

Anyway, the other theory is that someone at the network "ordered a hit" on the show. Someone approved the show, and NBC spent money producing it.. but someone else didn't want to air it, but they already spent money, so why not recoup the cost?

So, they aired the pilot 3 weeks after the "real" shows got their pilots. It aired 2 episodes, and then it was pre-empted for 1 week. Then it showed a REPEAT EPISODE (when there are only 2 episodes already aired) and then 2 more episodes week after week.

It's no wonder the ratings are low. You stop airing a show that people haven't decided if they liked yet. NBC's decisions caused the ratings to plummet, and the show to get cancelled.. on purpose.

But that's not the only strangeness happening at NBC.. What about Knight Rider?

I was all excited about Knight Rider, and I suspected it would suck.. but I hoped that it wouldn't. It turns out that my hope wasn't powerful enough and it sucked anyways.

If you haven't seen the new Knight Rider, let me simulate an episode:

Scene 1: Worlds lamest crooks commit world's stupidest crime, cue intro sequence.

Scene 2: Michael Knight and female lead character have sexual tension, generic suit man explains the "plot"

Scene 3: KITT wonders why Michael Knight has a boner, Michael Knight lies about it.

Scene 4: Something is getting really hot, Michael Knight and female lead are forced to strip to their underwear.

Scene 5: Car chase, a GM car blows up, Michael Knight jumps out of KITT and punches some guys, female lead still can't tell Michael Knight how hot she is for him.

There you are. You might think that I am joking, but I'm not. Go to hulu, watch an episode. LITERALLY this is every single episode of Knight Rider. The scenes might be in a different order (or they might have to get naked to "share body heat" because it's cold instead of hot) but you get the idea.

Knight Rider has better ratings than My Own Worst Enemy. In fact, NBC has ordered 9 more episodes of it!

Let's look at Crusoe.. another NBC program. It hasn't been cancelled (yet) but it's certainly better than Knight Rider. Crusoe has aired consistantly since it was released, and has never been pre-empted or repeated. Will Crusoe survive? I bet that NBC will try to protect it, because its production value is higher than My Own Worst Enemy, and they already bought 13 episodes. If it gets lower ratings, watch it get switched to a night other than Fridays. (Fridays, get it.. haha)

Anyways, this whole thing smells like something FOX would pull. It will be a miracle if Terminator lasts through season 2, seeing as how FOX hates sci-fi (unless it's the x-files). We'll see.

ROAR!
Submitted Thursday, November 6, 2008 - 6:01:33 PM by Klaitu

I'm usually a pretty easy-going guy, but there's one thing that will drive me into a rage the like of which make the Incredible Hulk seem tame.

Do you know what that one thing is?

BAD DESIGN OF COMPUTER CASES AND WIRING!

I can't tell you the number of times I have had to rewire something, or make some modification to a computer that took hours upon hours, when it really needed to take about 3 minutes!

It all began with the Intellivision. During the primitive era known as the "1970's" video game consoles needed to act like an antenna, because TV's of that time literally had screws in them, and you would wrap a wire around the screw and tighten it down to make an antenna connection.

In order to attach anything to the TV, you needed an adaptor, and it looked like this:

To be honest, these are really advanced versions of the first adaptors. The one the Intellivision had required you to literally go back behind the TV and flip a switch whenever you wanted to play a game. The versions pictured can "flip the switch" electronically.

The true thing that was primitive about them was that you had to hold the 2 little contacts in place with your hands, while you tightened the screw with your hand.. except you were already using 2 hands, so you need 3 hands (4 would be nice) in order to do this.

VHF adaptors sucked.. and I think people realized this, so they tried to come up with a connection that was better, but was much, much, much worse.



This connector was designed by Satan to torment mankind. It's a coaxial connector.. and with its invention, you no longer had to use a screwdriver to connect things to your TV, now you needed a FREAKING WRENCH! At least a screwdriver can dive straight through a mess of tangled cords, but a wrench means that you have to make a motion that is perpendicular to the wire.. and not only that, but you have to constantly take the wrench off, and then reset it for each turn!

And if you messed up, or wanted to take the wire off, you had to use a wrench again!

This idea was so stupid that nobody except the cable guy actually did use a wrench on the stupid things, we all tightened them by hand.. but that still took several minutes.

Thankfully, someone invented a kind of head that you didn't have to screw on, you could just push it on and leave it! It was much better than those crappy screw on ones.. However, if you'd like to see the devil's handiwork, check out your cable modem, I guarantee it's got one of those freaking screw-heads on it.

Unfortunately, by the time the press-on was invented, coaxial cables were crap for TV connections, everyone had moved onto RCA Composite cables, which are still awesome, despite being outdated. RCA cables are the Yellow, Red, White cable I'm sure you've seen. I hope you all realize the suffering we went through before those were invented.

However, things were not so forgiving in the audio department.. It seems that the people who make amplifiers and speakers are traditionalists, and so they have NEVER changed the connectors on their devices. If you've ever wired a home theater system, you know what I'm talking about. You literally strip the insulation off a piece of wire, and then you jam the bare metal into a hole that isn't nearly large enough!

How primitive, we have an EXPOSED CONNECTION, but the most frustrating thing about speaker cable is that you can never get it into the little hole it has to go into cleanly. You always end up ramming one side of the hole or the other, and as a result, those tiny wire fibers spread out like a grappling hook! They'll never fit in the hole all spread out like that, so you try in vain to twist the end together to make it small enough to fit. Eventually, you'll get lucky and it will go in after about 15 minutes of trying.

Then you get to do another one. Yeah, each speaker has 2 of these freaking connections to make, and if you're doing a 5.1 surround system, that means you've got to make 20 connections of speaker wire (10 on speakers, and 10 on the back of your amp).. and then plug the subwoofer in.. but by some strange underhanded agreement, subwoofers are all connected via RCA connections. Why can't we just do this with ALL speakers?!?!?

The saddest part about speaker wire is that despite it sucking since at least 1960, nobody has done anything to improve it. We're still using the same wires we used 50 years ago!

To be fair, the home theater market is improving for the most part. HDMI cables are the most amazing things ever invented. HD Video, HD Audio, all with one simple cord that you don't have to use any tools to install. Just plug it in, and it works. Awesome.

Home theater isn't the only place where gremlins have engineered crappy connections, though. Right now the most frustratingly-engineered connections are inside your computer!

First off, just to get into a computer, you're pretty much going to need a screwdriver.. and that would make sense if this was a DVD player or something you have no business opening.. but this is a PC. Do you need a wrench to open the hood of your car? Of course not, why should you need a tool just to look under the hood? The same is true of computers.

Once you manage to crack your way into the PC's inner vault, you'll no doubt notice any number of differing connectors.. and here I'm forgiving, because this is the inside of the PC after all.. but there are a few things that are inexcuseable.

Hard drives these days are universally mounted into Hard drive frames made of sharp, scrap metal. The Hard drives are mounted into the frames using SCREWS! Screws require that you use a screwdriver! Why should I have to go and find a screwdriver just to remove a hard drive? They make Hard drive clamps for this express purpose, so you don't have to use screws! Who wants to spend 20 minutes undoing screws when you could just spend 5 seconds pulling a clamp loose?

Oh, but I'm not done yet.. what about RAM? RAM is actually not too hard to get into place, once you get through all the crap in the way. In most modern cases, the RAM is located BEHIND THE FREAKING DRIVE ASSEMBLY! That means you have to unscrew all those screws, disconnect all the drives, unscrew the frame (using a freaking Torx screwdriver.. don't even get me started on that) and move it aside, just so you can take 2 seconds to stick ram into a slot that is designed to be easy to install. If you're unlucky enough to own a Hewlett Packard computer, you probably also have to remove the power supply (again, using a freaking Torx screwdrier).

And since I brought up Torx.. What is Torx? It's just a screw that has not 1, not 4, but 6 grooves. Why 6 grooves? Because they want to sell you the screwdriver. It's not like you can use a phillips head, or a standard screwdriver, you have to use an entirely different kind!

Computer manufacturers LOVE these Torx things. Sometimes even the hard drives are mounted using Torx screws. Do you own a Torx screwdriver? No? I didn't think so.

Torx isn't the worst culprit. Some computer manufacturers (hewlett packard) use cheap screws that strip off inside the drive. The result? You can never unscrew the screw to get the drive out of its frame! You have to get a BOLT CUTTER to cut the head of the screw off! There is no reason I should ever have to use a freaking bolt cutter on a computer.. EVER!

Now, why should I mention this right now? Because earlier today I was working on a computer to turn it into a media server for my house, and I literally had to CUT OUT THE HARD DRIVE FRAME in order to get to the RAM.. but before I could do that I had to unscrew 12 screws to release 3 hard drives. That's 4 screws per drive. Even if you use screws, you don't need 4 of them! I suppose all of this was okay, because the hard drive power cords weren't long enough to reach the hard drive bay anyway.

Who designs a power supply (which will be used primarily to power hard drives) that can't even reach the place where the hard drives are supposed to go?

I ended up making my own hard drive frame out of 2 wooden spatulas and duct tape.. and it worked better than all that stamped metal garbage, too.

So, in conclusion, computer manufacturers, take a less on from Gateway. Yeah, I know I said Gateway.. they made the best case ever made. Why?

Want to open the case? Just pull the opening handle. It's like opening a refrigerator, and just as easy to close.

Want to remove a drive? No problem, just slide the clamp about an inch. Oh, and if you want, you can bring it out the back, or push it out the front.. it's all good.

Need to install RAM? Just take the cover off and do it, it's sticking right out in the open, you don't even have to move anything.

Need to remove the Hard Drive Frame? Just push on the spring-loaded lever, and it detaches. Snaps right back into place, too.

Oh, and you know if you want to install a new PCI card? Just slide the locking bar over and put it in, then slide the bar back.

No tools, no screws, no BS. Only the power supply is attached by screws, and it's only attached by 4 screws with normal screw heads.

My current computer at least has the basics. It's got clamps for the drives, and the door is held by a thumbscrew. The hard drive frame is riveted to the case, but there's no reason to remove it since there's nothing behind it. Easy access RAM..but the card slots are all your traditional screw-in jobs. Oh well, I guess we can't have it all.

It just goes to show you why computer repairs cost so much. They're easy to do, you just have to wrestle with the crackhead who designed the case.

George W Bush.. Forgotten by History?
Submitted Wednesday, November 5, 2008 - 6:12:46 PM by Klaitu

Sorry for getting so many Election stories in here, but they're breaking left and right!

I was recently conversing with a friend who stated that "George W Bush would be forgotten by history.. and good riddance!"

I had to disagree.

George W Bush is currently the recipient of a hate snowball. At first people hated him legitimately because of his policies, and that's alright.. but then, people started hating Bush simply because they knew someone who hated his policies, and then people started hating Bush because they knew someone who knew someone who disagreed with his policies.

Today, George W's approval rating is lower than ever before, so you'd think that GW has been doing something that people didn't like.

Actually, GW hasn't really done anything worthy of any note in several months. He did that bank bailout thing, but it was bipartisan, so people shouldn't be upset over that.. nevertheless, more and more people began "Bush hating".. and the only reason for it is that people were freaking out.

There's so much Bush rage going on that few people have a clear perspective on how this sort of thing works. Let me give you my perspective, which I think will also be history's perspective of George W Bush.

First, George W was President on September 11, 2001.. and even if he had been assassinated or something on September 12, he would be remembered for that alone.

GW wasn't assassinated, and his response in Afganistan was more or less unilateral among people in the US, and in many foreign nations.. but in many ways, this was the beginning of why people began to hate him, because in response to the 9/11 investigations, the PATRIOT Act was invented, and the PATRIOT act was the first "big" thing that people caught onto that began the "I hate Bush" snowball.

But in reality, George W Bush had very little to do with the PATRIOT Act. He didn't write it, though he did support it, and he signed it into law as president.. or course, after it passed in the house and senate (bipartisanly, I might add).. and since that's all factual, that's all going to appear in the history books.

The other "big" issue that people hated was the Iraq War, and it's.. ongoingness helped to keep those hate fires stoked among people who were not Bush fans.. but by and large, the Iraq War was hugely successful, and didn't turn into a fiasco like, say, the Korean War, or the Vietnam War.

So let's look at how history remembers other Presidents:

Quick! Tell me which US President signed the Social Security Act! I know you can look it up, but even though the SSA was controversial at the time, nobody remembers who the president that signed it was. It was so controversial that the courts tried to find it unconstitutional.. they hated this president, and yet today, even though we live with the Social Security Act, nobody remembers which president did it.

For the record, it was Franklin Roosevelt. Does the memory of FDR carry a stigma of signing the Social Security Act? I'm gonna have to say no, since nobody remembers that he did it in the first place.

What about the Vietnam War. Vietnam is unquestionably the most disasterous US war of the 20th century.. bar none. Do you remember which president started the Vietnam War? The president who started a war in which 553,000 Americans died, and in the end the communists STILL won?

For the record, the president who started US involvement in the Vietnam War was John F Kennedy. Does the memory of JFK carry the stigma of having started America's most unsuccessful war? It sure doesn't. Actually, Kennedy is celebrated today as a pop star.

So, here's what I think, and I think it's realistically how GW will be remembered in 20 years:

George W Bush was narrowly elected at the turn of the century, despite having gotten less than half of the popular vote. Less than 8 months after his election, the 9/11 attacks happened, and his presidency shifted into "all about antiterrorism" mode, which pretty much became the hallmark of his presidency, the "War on Terror". He will be remembered for the excellently executed invasion of Afganistan, and for the more difficult, but ultimately successful invasion of Iraq. The economic consequences of the Iraq invasion will also be tied directly to Bush.

If you had to distill it into a Jeopardy question in the year 2076, it would be "This US President started the War on Terror".

The point to all this is that George W Bush did just enough in his presidency to be remembered by history.. though it was largely due to him fighting 2 wars in the same presidency.

You could argue that just being president means that you will never be forgotten, and that's true to some extent. History scholars will pour over your actions as president, and biographers will write books about you.. so you'll certainly be more remembered that phil the window washer. I think the real question here is how each president is remembered in relation to other presidents.

Klaitu's most un-forgotten presidents of the 20th century (generated solely by memory):

1. Theodore Roosevelt (The only president to win the Medal of Honor)
2. Woodrow Wilson (President during World War 1)
3. Franklin D Roosevelt (President during World War 2)
4. Dwight D. Eisenhower (Concluded the Korean War, started the Space Race)
5. John F. Kennedy (Averted the Cuban Missile Crisis)
6. Lyndon B. Johnson (escalated the Vietnam War into the mess it became)
7. Richard Nixon (impeached and resigned)
8. Ronald Reagan (concluded the Cold War)

Klaitu's most forgotten presidents of the 20th century that nobody knows what they did.. and why they are forgotten:

1. William McKinley (He was overshadowed by Vice President Theodore Roosevelt)
2. William Howard Taft (Known for trust-busting, a practice which is no longer common)
3. Warren G. Harding (He didn't do anything. Literally. He is universally considered the worst President of the 20th century)
4. Calvin Coolidge (Most of the things he did were overturned by later presidents)
5. Herbert Hoover (Couldn't get anything done due to the Great Depression)
6. Harry S. Truman (Smack between FDR and Eisenhower, and didn't do as much as either of them)
7. Gerald Ford (Became president when Nixon resigned, and was never elected)
8. Jimmy Carter (Didn't do much, overshadowed by Reagan)
9. George H W Bush (Only did Desert Storm, overshadowed by George W's Iraq War)
10. Bill Clinton (known mainly for sex scandals that nobody will care about in 50 years, and a booming economy that lasted only about a year after he left office. His contributions were largely nullified by George W.)

So, in the end, what about George W Bush? I think people will remember him like they remember Nixon or Johnson. Not neccessarily for good reasons. In terms of historical rankings, he will probably end up somewhere near Woodrow Wilson.

Another Election Story
Submitted Wednesday, November 5, 2008 - 3:41:09 PM by Klaitu

You know, I got to thinking about how presidential elections work in Oklahoma.. certainly in my lifetime, no Democratic candidate has ever won Oklahoma's electoral votes.. but was it always true?

I went to look it up, because I was curious.

I had to go all the way back to 1964! Lyndon B. Johnson vs Barry Goldwater. (The only other Democratic candidate that Oklahoma voted for in the period after WW2 was Truman)

I got curious about this, because the election before 1964 was 1960, and that's when Kennedy became president. The election after 1964, Richard Nixon became president. Why did Oklahoma flip flop Republican, Democratic, and then Republican again?

I can't definitively say, but with Kennedy being assassinated, and Johnson starting as his vice president, it could be that people just didn't want a change of people in office.

Barry Goldwater, for his part would have had to campaign against the policies of the now-dead Kennedy.. and I'm not sure how anyone could pull that off. If you proclaim your way is better, you're kickin a dead guy.. if you agree with Kennedy's policies, then why should anyone vote for you when they can vote for Johnson?

This strange occurance didn't seem to affect Kansas and Nebraska, they still went for Goldwater despite all that.

Interesting fact: Barry Goldwater was from Arizona.. and not just from Arizona, he was campaigning for President while holding the senate seat that John McCain holds today.

Seems like an unlucky place to be if you want to be president.

Another Interesting fact: In researching this, I found someone with an election record that parallels Ronald Reagan.. Franklin D. Roosevelt managed to collect all but 8 of the electoral votes in 1936. That means he technically beats Reagan's 13 missing votes, except for FDR there were only 48 states at the time.

The really weird part is that FDR lost Maine and Vermont somehow.. and he was a democrat!

In FDR's election, 44,434,510 voted.
In Reagan's election, 92,032,804 voted. 54,455,472 of them voted for Reagan.. more than both sides combined in the FDR election.

You may wonder why I'm all up on's Reagan, and that's because Reagan was easily the best US President who lived during my lifetime.. and looking at the statistics, he certainly contends among the top of all 20th Century presidents, a list which includes Teddy Roosevelt, Kennedy, and Eisenhower among others.

Bjork: Qualified Icelandic Television Serviceperson
Submitted Wednesday, November 5, 2008 - 4:25:03 AM by Klaitu

I'm not entirely sure what she's talking about, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with christmas, iceland, poets, or.. like electrons or something..

Whatever, sounds like science to me!

Funny Quote of the Day
Submitted Tuesday, November 4, 2008 - 11:57:07 PM by Klaitu

"The Democrats are so happy, I bet they wished they believed in the second amendment just so they could be shooting their guns off right now!" - Heard over ICQ

Obamanation
Submitted Tuesday, November 4, 2008 - 11:14:40 PM by Klaitu

*puts on newscaster voice*

In a turn of events which has suprised absolutely nobody, Barack Obama has been elected the next President of the United States.

I live in a state which was solidly for McCain. Exit polls were showing something like 80% McCain here, Obama had no chance.. so to you, my fellow Oklahomans I say this:

Remember Jimmy Carter? Remember how you hated his peanut-loving guts? Remember when Jimmy Carter was going to bring death and disaster to us all?

But wait, what? Everyone's still here, and things in America in 2008 are much better than things in 1977 were. Shocker! America survived Jimmy Carter!

Remember when you got all giddy about Ronald Reagan.. not that I blame you, I mean, the guy was only 13 votes shy from being the second unanimously elected president.. but remember when he burned up his 2 terms, and George Bush became president, riding on Reagans Coattails?

And then remember when you discovered that George Bush wasn't Ronald Reagan and you didn't vote, and then Bill Clinton got into office? Oh yeah, I'm sure you remember that because it really pissed you off. You and Rush Limbaugh. You all got snookered and Clinton slipped in. Remember how America's morals were going to die a slow, painful death at his gravy-encrusted hands?

Oh, hey... America survived Bill Clinton, and.. don't tell anyone, but Clinton actually made some things better than they were previously.

But remember when Clinton burned out his 2 terms, despite all your attempts to.. elect Bob Dole, and we were left with Al Gore and George W? Remember how your burning rage for Clinton drove you to vote for George W because you hated Clinton, and Al Gore was obviously a robot programmed by Bill Clinton.

And then, how about 4 years ago, you remember when Kerry was running and you voted for George W again, because all the Democrats could scrape off their platter was John Kerry.

Now here we are, America has survived the ruinious "scandalous" disasterious intention of the evil Jimmy Carter, evil Reagan, evil Bush 1, immoral Clinton, and Bush W.. I'm laying odds that the United States will survive Barack Obama as well.

Heck, you never know, he might actually improve something.. but aside from that, now YOU're in the other end of the stick. Now all "their" hatred for George W has spilled over onto McCain.. heck, he might have been a robot programmed by Condi.

Don't you worry Oklahoma, because now you get to whine about it for 4 years, at which time we will get to do this all over again!

Is Obama going to win in 4 years? It depends on what he does, and what politicians the republicans scrape off their boots to run against him.

Here's hoping it's Bob Dole.

For transparency purposes:

I left my presidential choices on the ballot blank. I disagree with Obamas policies, so I didn't vote for him.. and McCain didn't convince me to vote for him (in fact, McCain said some really stupid things that I also didn't agree with). In the end I was not convinced in favor of either, and so I voted for neither.

A Note from XKCD
Submitted Monday, November 3, 2008 - 11:14:52 PM by Klaitu

Book Report!
Submitted Saturday, November 1, 2008 - 4:24:07 PM by Klaitu

Contrary to popular belief, I can actually read! Sometimes I put this talent to use on books, but mostly I don't, because most books suck.

It's not for lack of trying. People think my tastes are pretty stringent on movies and games, but even I will readily admit that I am the toughest on books.. because they represent a huge time investment.

When I worked at Hertz, I had a lot of reading time. I plowed through tons of books, even if they weren't so good.. but rarely, if ever, did I run into a truly amazing book.

Now that I don't work at Hertz, I try to maintain some illusion of a reading habit, but since I am not prone to weeks on end of intense boredom anymore, I must admit that I have raised my standards.

Anyway, I pass my hard work onto you, readers. Behold, the best Klaitu book selection!

1. The Hope Series by David Feintuch
(Midshipman's Hope, Challenger's Hope, Prisoner's Hope, Fisherman's Hope, Voices of Hope, Patriarch's Hope, Children of Hope)

I first started reading this series when I was in High School. They were the first books that I read where there was any real talent employed in actually creating a world.

The Hope series is written in first person perspective, the perspective of Nicholas Seafort, a naval officer of Earth. It's set mostly in space, and it definately falls in the definition of "Military Space Opera" even though I hate the term "space opera".

The first 4 books explain how Nick Seafort rose from a lowly Midshipman to the man who saves Earth. The books after that detail Seafort's political career, and aren't quite as stellar, but they are still great.

The main problem with the Hope series is that the author died, and thus it is unfinished.

Overall Score 9 of 10

2. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Ender's Game is actually a series of several books, but none of them are nearly as good as the very first book, which is simply entitled Ender's Game.

Ender's Game is about a kid who has a knack for tactics. He's taken by the government and secretly trained for a mysterious mission, even though he's a teenager.

Ender's Game is great because it has one of those "sixth sense" endings, where it blindsides you but makes complete sense.

When you read Ender's Game, it's obviously intended as a stand-alone story. After the book won several awards, the author then attempted to cash in on the success by producing companion novels, all of which sucked by comparison. It's really a shame, because he showed some talent in the beginning.

Now, you may be thinking "Orson Scott Card is a political extremist" which these days, you might consider him such.. but this book was written in the 80's, before his craziness set in.

Overall Score: 9 of 10

3. The Honorverse by David Weber
(On Basilisk Station, The Honor of the Queen, The Short Victorious War, Field of Dishonor, Flag in Exile, Honor Among Enemies, In Enemy Hands, Echoes of Honor, Ashes of Victory, War of Honor, At All Costs)

The Honorverse follows the adventures of Honor Harrington, a genetically engineered spaceship captain who seems to accidentally run into trouble, no matter where it is.

If Nick Seafort were He-Man, then Honor Harrington would be She-Ra, even though they are completely different and unrelated book series.

The stories in the Honorverse are compelling, and given my love for military space opera, they're right up my alley. Unfortunately, they are published by Baen Books, which is notorious for crappy copy checking, so there are numerous misspellings and bad punctuation throughout. The author also has an unfortunate tendency to replace neuter-gender pronouns with female gender pronouns.

If the Honorverse has one flaw, it's that it attempts to overcompensate for its main character being female. It doesn't quite get to "girl power" levels, but it's there.

Overall Score: 8 of 10

4. The Wing Commander series by Multiple Authors
(Freedom Flight, End Run, Fleet Action, Heart of the Tiger, The Price of Freedom, Action Stations, False Colors)

This is, indeed, a series of books based on the video games.. and believe you me, I was as skeptical as anyone about that.. but the series of books is actually pretty good. They're particularly good about carrying the story tha you already know, but turning it sideways so that you see it in a new perspective. They're not ground-breaking books, but you could do worse.

Overall Score: 7 of 10

5. Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein

Starship Troopers has been around forever, and it's considered a classic. For those of you who have seen the movie, but never read the book.. they are nothing alike.. at all.. in any way. Some of the names of the same (Dizzy Flores is a guy in the book, and he dies in the first chapter) but that's it.

Starship Troopers is good, but it's very technical. There's a story to it, but it plays itself plainly on the exposition side of storytelling. It covers Johnny Rico's enlistment and his struggle to become an officer. Johnny does things like agonize over test questions and take exams. The book is a lot more about "how and why" they fight and less about "nuking bugs".

Overall Score: 7 of 10

And now.. some of the worst books that I have ever read:

1. Star Trek Books

I love Star Trek.. but Star Trek started as a TV show, and as a TV show Star Trek is awesome.. but as books, Star Trek is garbage. Complete, utter, and total garbage.

Publishers know that you can take any piece of trash, put the words "star trek" on it and people will buy it. I don't think that their publishers really have any quality control whatsoever, because Star Trek books these days turn out to be 400 page long fanfic. They butcher the characters, they butcher the technology, they just make up stuff.

I have to throw out a notable exception to authors Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens, who actually do know their stuff, no doubt evidenced by their participation in writing the TV series.

2. Star Wars books

I'm going to take a lot of heat just for mentioning Star Wars novels, but I have to speak up.

Star Wars novels suck for all the same reasons that Star Trek novels do, they're essentially licensed fanfic with no quality control whatsoever.. but the problem is even worse with Star Wars because any novel that earns the Star Wars license also becomes part of the canon "Expanded Universe" even though all of these crappy fanfic books contradict themselves.

Star Wars fans are rabid, so there is a lot of money to be had in making Star Wars books.. but people forget.. Star Wars is a children's movie. Yeah, that's right.. you heard me. It's a franchise intended for 7 to 14 year olds.. so go ahead and write that Twi'lek sex scene.

3. Comic Book Novels

Comic books are awesome.. at least, most of the time they are.. but you can't make a comic book into a novel. It never works! Nevertheless, there are hundreds of them out there. Some have even gone so far as to double dip and make an X-men/Star Trek crossover for a double whammy of suck.

4. Novelizations of Movies

Most of the time, people take a book, and then make a movie out of the book.. but sometimes, people make a movie, and someone writes a book about it.

After all, who doesn't want to read what James Bond's internal dialogue is in the novelization of Octopussy?

But really, what happens if your movie book were actually good? (not that we're in any danger of that happening) Say that the novel was better than the movie, what does that say about your movie? Sad.

5. Novelizations of Video Games

I know, I've got Wing Commander up there in my good list, but as a general rule, novels made from video games are crap.. so as such I'll note that Wing Commander is the only exception to this rule!

One time I tried to read a novelization of Tomb Raider.. because it was there. I couldn't do it.. and Tomb Raider might actually make a good book, but there are also Street Fighter novels, Mortal Kombat novels, Ninja Turtle novels..

Need I go on?