November 2005

Important Update!
Submitted Sunday, November 27, 2005 - 9:08:13 PM by Klaitu

FINALLY! Someone is breaking the news!

http://soylentgreen.ytmnd.com/



Bye Bye Threshold
Submitted Sunday, November 27, 2005 - 6:19:26 PM by Klaitu

You may recall an earlier article where I reviewed the pilot for CBS's Threshold. I basically said it sucks, because it does.

Well, turns out that the CBS guys finally figured it out too. They've cancelled the show.. Already. They didn't even let it play half the season.

Let this be a lesson to you, TV-bigwigs! Brannon Braga has no talent whatsoever!



Civilization 4
Submitted Sunday, November 27, 2005 - 2:14:01 PM by Klaitu

Holy Crap! A PC game!

I know, they haven't made a real PC game for a long, long time.. but there's a new one out now.. Civilization 4. What's it like?

It's pretty much like Civilization 3, but way slower because it uses new and fancy-schmancy graphics. If you've played the previous incarnations, you pretty much have the same thing here.

Improved vastly is the diplomatic screen.. now diplomacy actually serves some purpose. foreign powers don't declare war on you for no reason anymore, and you can view what specifically is bothering the other folks.

Most excellent props to the sound designers. The music here is all classical and orchestrated. Really good sounding stuff that fits the mood perfectly.

The game struck me as easier than previous incarnations. I played on chieftain level and ended up ranked as "Augustus Caesar" which is like 16 up the list or so.

Also, have to give them a bonus point for the technology called "the internet". Al Gore is the icon for it. Hilarious!

I'm a Civilization fan. Well, a Civilization follower anyways. I've played all the versions, and aside from the diplomacy, everything is pretty much as it was in Civilization 1. No new modes of victory, and only a few new techs.

Overall Score: 6 of 10



Willow
Submitted Sunday, November 27, 2005 - 2:02:58 PM by Klaitu

Wow! There's a blast from the past, huh? Everyone has seen Willow, and admittedly, so have I, but I rewatched the new DVD release of it, just for old times sake.

The movie features a two headed flame-breathing monster, Val Kilmer as the worlds greatest swordsman, and midgets! Not just one midget, an entire village of midgets! How could this movie not be good?

Well, I guess when you consider it's a complete Lord of the Rings analogy, then it might suck a little. I mean, little person gets the fate of the world thrust into his lap, so he forms a.. ahem.. fellowship to right the world once again.

Oh well. It's got midgets. Thumbs up!

Overall Score: 8 of 10



Troy
Submitted Sunday, November 27, 2005 - 1:58:09 PM by Klaitu

The legendary city now has its own movie, complete with Brad Pitt Achilles. Of course, you already knew all that, Troy is like.. a year old, but still, I finally saw it.

Troy is pretty much your basic Braveheart in a different location. Lots of little CGI guys duking it out in historical epics where you already know the winner, and the best you can hope for is the secondary characters to have a happy ending.

Achilles can kick everyones butt, except Orlando Bloom. As well all know, Orlando Bloom is invincible. Either that, or Brad Putt sucks vs arrows.

Music deserves a special mention in this film. Sweeping anthems destined to be repeated in future movie trailers for ages to come.

Other than that, all I can really say is that Troy is a reeeeeely long movie... which is okay, except you're thinking "Man, when does this movie end?" about halfway through.

The movie is alright, pretty standard fare these days.

Overall Score: 6 of 10



Beautiful
Submitted Friday, November 25, 2005 - 11:30:35 AM by Klaitu

Have you ever had a dream? A dream to become a beauty queen? Minnie Driver has. Yep, It's true. In this movie she spends the majority of her life attempting to win beauty pageants.. at the cost of her family, her daughter, her best friend, etc.

I must admit, although there is not a single male in this movie (unless you count the pageant host) the concept of the film was most interesting, but it falls short.

In the beginning, you get to see life in 1986 for Minnie Driver, who is at this point just beginning her life-long obsession with glam. She gets no help from her parents or anyone else. She earns her own money and scrapes by.. every penny of it going toward beauty pageant training and the like.

This movie would have been about a thousand times more interesting if they would have told us why she was obsessed with becoming a beauty queen, but they never really do.

At any rate, in the end guess what? Everything good happens! It's a happy, albeit abrupt ending. She basically bumbles her way into winning the "big" pageant by resolving her own conflict with her daughter (whom she has denied, as beauty pageant contestants apparently can't have children).

Minor Technical problems in the film. The wardrobe in 1993 is inaccurate, it is more appropriate to the 1086 era shown before it. Also, I'm never going to buy Minnie Driver as a beauty queen. While she's not dog ugly, she's not "polly princess" material. I'm pretty sure they chose her because she is rock solid in her performance when she's not currently in a pageant.

This is one to catch if it comes on TV sometime. Not worth any money, but not a waste of time.

Overall Score: 6 of 10



Bewitched
Submitted Friday, November 25, 2005 - 11:20:29 AM by Klaitu

Ahh, Will Ferrell. You are occasionally awesome, but on this occasion, you were not. Everyone hates Darren, and it's true. You're Darren.

Well, That's a little strong, Bewitched is a slightly amusing movie. There are moments when they allow Will Ferrell to shine through.. but for the most part, it's just silly.

In Bewitched the movie, they are remaking Bewitched the TV show, so they hire a washed-up actor to play Darren. He, in turn, finds a woman to play Samantha.. but it turns out that she's actually a witch.. not just on TV. It gets a little mindbending.. Nichole Kidman (not a witch) plays a witch who plays a witch on TV.

Despite this puzzle, the movie is not intellectually stimulating. It doesn't suck, but it's average in every way. There isn't a whole lot more I can say about it.

Overall Score: 5 of 10



One Meelion places
Submitted Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:43:36 PM by Klaitu

Have you ever wondered if Pi was calculated to a million places? Have you ever wondered how long a webpage would be if it contained a million characters?

Well, I've got the site for you! Pi to a Million Places



Vala
Submitted Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:28:15 PM by Klaitu

Well, I hope you liked Vala Mal Doran, Claudia Black's Character over on Stargate SG-1. Personally, I thought she was awesome, but I know a lot of people who thought she sucked.. I have no idea why.

Well, anyways, she's now signed up to join Stargate as a regular cast member, which is really strange. Now Ben Browder and Claudia Black are back together again on a show that they competed against with Farscape.

My brain hurts!



Phenomenon
Submitted Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 1:20:10 PM by Klaitu

Throughout all of pop culture, there is one overriding, transcending moment which is imprinted on the mind of every nerd, dweeb, and dork that was born before 1981. That would be..

Princess Leia's Gold Bikini!

See, all I have to do is mention it, and I know that you know EXACTLY the one I'm talking about.

Well, now comes a website dedicated to the gold metal bikini, and nerds dressed up in it. Most entertaining.

http://www.leiasmetalbikini.com/



Xenosaga Episode 2
Submitted Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:41:49 PM by Klaitu

It's been awhile since I played Xenosaga Episode 1, but I did beat it, so I figured I'd catch up with the Xenosaga storyline by beating Episode 2 as well.

I can't really go onto Episode 2 until I explain my feelings about Episode 1.. and I can only do that non-specifically, because it's been 2 years or so since I played it.

Xenosaga 1 was like an epic experience. It struck me as odd, because you'd play the game for 40 minutes or so, and then watch 2 hours of cutscenes.. which was alright by me, because the gameplay was pretty much the standard fare, and nobody plays an RPG for the "joy" of playing an RPG. They're playing for the story, which xenosaga delivered in spades.

Episode 2 starts off this way, with epic and sweeping story themes, but something is amiss. I was playing my merry way along, and I finally beat this boss (he was not so tough) and then I got the "Please insert Disc 2" screen. This isn't irregular for RPG's, but the disturbing part was that I had only been playing for 7 hours. Usually the Disc 2 swap comes in around 15 to 20 hours (more if you're lucky). The beginning of Disc 2 is a narrarated summary of all sorts of things happening. The narrator is the same voice actor as the main character, but is not speaking from the character's perspective. If just gets more and more nuts from there.

In the second disc, there is hardly any story at all. It's mostly gameplay, and for xenosaga, this is a very very bad thing. Episode 1 had an alright gameplsy system, but Episode 2's blows chunks.

In episode 2, all characters have the same moves. They have the same set of skills to unlock from, and the same potential to do anything.. so if you built two characters the same way, they would be identical in every way except for their HP.

The Random Battles in Episode 2 can take 7 to 10 minutes for the easy ones, because you simply can't deal any damage to the enemy until you get your party buffed up and charged up properly.

Another thing that doesn't work at all is the economy system.. there isn't one. You can't buy anything. Not even recovery items.. which is a problem, because your enemy can ALWAYS do about 5 times more damage to you than you can to him.

The result is a lot of snail-paced, turn-based, "I hope he doesn't heal himself", "Oh crap, he did" battles.

As a specific example, There was one boss I was fighting where she could do 250 damage to all three of my characters in the same move. I, however, was only able to do about 30 damage per hit to her, and she had like 30,000 HP. Even using all the team system, it takes a good 20 minutes (and every healing item you own) to beat her.. and she wasn't even a main boss.

Oh, and of course, the ONE boss monster gets more moves in a round than all three of my characters combined. I did that battle many times. It was not fun.

In fact, I can pretty much say that about all of Disc 2.. it was not fun. Disc 1.. it was mostly fun.. it was mostly non-combat story.

Episode 1 was a pretty good game, and while it wasn't the best gameplay around, it was functional, not annoying, and the game made up for it with the tremendous story. Episode 2 doesn't have much of a story and focusses on a new gameplay system that sucks.

Yeah, I know you wanted to see what happens to all your characters from Episode 1, but I would at least think twice before spending any money on this thing.

A shame, really.

Overall Score: 4 of 10



Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Submitted Tuesday, November 22, 2005 - 12:16:59 PM by Klaitu

Holy Crap! A Harry Potter film! Controversy!

Well, for some people Harry Potter isn't a big deal, but among my family, Harry Potter is pretty much the devil. I'm not precisely sure why this is so, but I have a vague idea.

Anyway, the movie was broadcast on ABC the other day, so I figured I'd give it a shot and see what was what. I mean, so many people go crazy over the books that the movie has to be at least decent, right?

The first thing that strikes me is the quality of acting. the principal cast is, of course, children.. and children actors are pretty hit and miss, but the people they got for the movie are pretty good. I didn't notice any atrocious acting at all. I'm not saying these guys are like masters or anything, but they're not off the bum truck.

I found the type of story to be engaging, Harry Potter has a real X-Men feel to it.. little kids with superpowers sort of thing. Of course, in this world the fantastic is a reality, so you've got what I call "the Jurassic Park effect" going on.

The story elements strike me as recycled.. though this is not neccessarily a bad thing. Many writers have made a living from taking ancient themes and translating them into a new story with new elements. Harry Potter seems to do this more (or perhaps more obviously) than most other stories.

Harry Potter is the hero, he's got a destiny.. and along with him is his clumsy and bumbling sidekick. They hang out with a young girl, who I assume will eventually become Harry's love interest. The girl is forceful and works to prove herself, even though she doesn't have to. Together, they go around solving mysteries in a giant spooky castle that just happens to be a school. Sound familiar? Oh, it gets better.

In this particular film in the series, They're attempting to find out what kind of deadly creature has been petrifying students. This is essentially, a no-threat murder mystery. You see, there's a monster lurking about, and if you look into its eyes, you die.. convieniently, everyone only saw a reflection of the eyes so it petrified them. Go figure.

Technically, the big bad monster is a Basilisk, which has feet.. except for in this movie, where it's just a giant snake. Oh well.

Of course, the giant snake is the guardian of the chamber of secrets, and someone has opened the chamber, thus letting out the snake.. but hold on a second..

At the end of the movie, Harry enters the chamber of secrets, and it's not like there are any secrets in there. I mean, with a name like "Chamber of secrets" you'd think that this is where all the secrets are kept. It's just a big rocky room half-filled with water with a statue on the far end that the snake comes out of.

I probably shouldn't spoil it, but I just have to say that I found it completely and totalyl hilarious that the Chamber of Secrets is located in the girls bathroom. Of all the places to put it!

Then, there are the technical flaws with the story.

This school was founded by 4 wizards, one of which was evil. This was done "1000 years ago" which means no later than 1000 AD. the Evil wizard build the chamber of secrets secretly, and he did it under the sinks in the girl's bathroom. In fact, the water spigot is the mechanism to open the chamber of secrets. The only clue to this is a serpent etched on the faucet.

So, how could this evil wizard have built the Chamber of Secrets in the Girls bathroom using a sink, when sinks, faucets, and indoor plumbing wouldn't be invented for like another 700 years?

There are other cases of things like this happening.. the infamous J.K. Rowling seems to have a tendency to forget the details of her own story, resulting in plot confusion for everyone but the most casual of viewers.

Then again, the movie is meant for 12 year olds, so I guess that's okay.

Anyway, despite the technical problems with the movie, I found it to be a moderately enjoyable experience. If other Harry Potter movies were to come on TV, I would not be averse to watching them.

Which brings me back around to the controversy part of Harry Potter. Some folks are inherently afraid of wizards and witches and other halloween-type stuff. I don't mean that they are literally scared of them, rather they are scared of what the iconic behaviors of these things will do to the young minds of their children.

This is a good thing, because at the very least, it demonstrates that the parents care for the children, which is something that is becoming more and more rare.

From the Christian Perspective, Harry Potter is very neutral. In fact, belief systems of every kind are more or less ignored. The Wizardry and spellcasting is treated more or less as a pseudo-science. The fact that the characters are in a school demonstrates this quite readily.

So far as an impact on Christianity, I hold Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter together. They're both set in fantasy worlds where the supernatural is natural, and this fantasy world is more or less Godless.. and when I say Godless, I mean without (or otherwise ignoring) THE God.

I would not recommend this movie for a young child. If varies according to each kid, but I'd say that this movie is more appropriate for an older kid.. 13 year olds.. that neighborhood. I can easily see kids watching these Harry Potter movies, and then going out and busting off a stick and start imitating the Harry Potter characters.. which would no doubt be disturbing.

I'd recommend this movie to anyone who has a fundamental understanding of how the world actually works, and the ability to grasp that the story is just a movie and nothing more. I personally do not feel threatened by Harry Potter, as I believe my God is more powerful than J.K. Rowling.

Overall Score: 7 of 10



The Warriors
Submitted Friday, November 18, 2005 - 12:59:45 PM by Klaitu

Did you ever see the movie? I didn't. A quick glance over at IMDB tells me that I don't know anyone in the movie. So, why would Rockstar Toronto resurrect this movie from the deep dark grave of the 1970's?

Because it's about gang warfare, cussing, and violence of course!

I have to applaud them for the originality of the setting. How many games are set in the 1970's? The only one I can think of is Starsky and Hutch. Most games these days are set in the "near future" of Tom Clancy, or the Ancient Past.

Unfortunately, the execution doesn't come off so well. The primary problem here is the horribly done gameplay. If you go to the trouble of making a beatemup game, you should have controls that will work for a beatemup. Most times your attacks miss your opponent because the controls are very touchy, and you must eyeball the angle of attack. Sure, you can lock on to your opponent, but that doesn't seem to affect anything other than to show you their health. It also doesn't help since you're usually in a 10-on-1 fight.

Graphics are alright, they function, but there's nothing really special about them. They're behind the times.. but then again, this is Rockstar we're talking about. They've never made a graphically compelling game.

Sound design gets a plus from me. The title menu screen is particularly odd and refreshing to listen to.

As for the plot, well.. even if you haven't seen the movie, it's just as well. You're the Warriors, you want respect.. which apparently comes from beating the crap out of all your rivals. Never seen that one anywhere before.

This game isn't horrible, it's just blah. As such, it sits right in there with the 90% of games that are made these days. A definate pass.

Overall Score: 4 of 10



Jem on DVD!
Submitted Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 2:05:25 PM by Klaitu

Yep, that's right, you can now buy Jem and the Holograms on DVD.. if you're rich.

The DVD collection that includes the first and second seasons costs a whopping $90! What the heck? Jem wasn't THAT good.. $20 I could go for.. but 90? I think not. That price is outrageous.. truly outrageous.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0001LJCUM/102-0789444-6051300?v=glance&n=130&n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance



Joe Flanigan!
Submitted Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 12:02:58 PM by Klaitu

The star of Stargate: Atlantis did a short interview for promoting the SGA Season 1 Box Set that is out this week.

"I have not even seen it yet," he tells GateWorld regarding the DVD set. "I'm the last person to get this stuff. I'm hoping that I'll get comp'ed a copy, but you never know. I'm in Canada right now ..."

When he learned that the set is available there, he sang a different tune: "Alright, I'll run to the store and get it. It'll be funny when I'm at the counter."
The guy cracks me up!

http://www.gateworld.net/news/2005/11/joeflaniganushersiatlantis.shtml



GPS Navigation
Submitted Wednesday, November 16, 2005 - 11:17:13 AM by Klaitu

You know, those little GPS navigation boxes have really been taking off.. and why not? Perfect directions to any obscure place you're going? Sounds pretty useful if you travel a lot.

Myself, I don't have much cause for such a thing, I mean 99% of the time, I'm somewhere I recognize.. but if I was ever lost, I'd want Mr. T to bail me out.

Yep, that's right. Mr. T has his own GPS navigator. How awesome is that?

When you ride with Mr. T, Mr. T gonna getcha there safely.. or else!
Here's the article, complete with sample Mr. T sound clips!

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10038326/



The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Submitted Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 10:33:56 PM by Klaitu

Old Book.

Very Old Book.

Very obscure book, too.

Hitchhikers has the popularity somewhat akin to Doctor Who or Buckaroo Bonzai. Somewhat less popular than Rocky Horror Picture Show, and somewhat more popular than the Go Bots.

Of course, we're not talking about the book here, we're talking about the movie. Though you could also talk about the video game.. YES, there is a Hitchhikers video game (it's a text-based adventure from the early 80's).

I can't say that I was particularly familiar with the book, but there are things that I picked up without ever reading it. Dolphins are a space-faring race, you have to drunk 3 beers to ride in the teleporter, Towels are the best tools ever, and the answer to life, the universe, and everything? 42.

Hitchhikers the movie pretty much follows in the same vein as what I remember from all the previous franchise endeavors. If you've read the book, you'll probably like the movie.

While the movie has a lot to do with space, it's much more of a comedy.. a subtle comedy, really. Amusing, I'd say, but not raucous. The plot is consistant, and the effects work well. It's a well-made solid movie that is popcorn fun.

So, as far as the movie is concerned, it's a renter.

BUT, let us not discount the fact that Zooey Deschanel is in the film. I haven't seen her in a lot of stuff, but she's on my stars to watch list. She's also hawt. She knocked Gillian Anderson right off my top 20. (Gillian has been hanging by a thread for years anyways)

Overall Score: 6 of 10



FIRE!
Submitted Tuesday, November 15, 2005 - 7:03:40 PM by Klaitu

http://kirkfires1.ytmnd.com/



The Agony
Submitted Monday, November 14, 2005 - 11:50:56 PM by Klaitu

The following image has caused me to laugh hysterically for the past 15 minutes. I now share the agony!




Superjerk
Submitted Monday, November 14, 2005 - 5:06:00 PM by Klaitu

While I'm on this superman kick, here are at least 160 reasons why Superman is a Super Jerk!

http://www.superdickery.com/dick/1.html

What a Jerk!



The Adventures of Superman and Seinfeld
Submitted Monday, November 14, 2005 - 12:24:54 PM by Klaitu

Adventures that demonstrate how great the American Express Card can be, but adventures nonetheless!

Patrick Warburton as Superman.. sounding super Tick-like!

http://www.wddg.com/projects/superman_seinfeld/



Sin City
Submitted Saturday, November 12, 2005 - 11:32:24 AM by Klaitu

This one is no obscure film, but I never got around to seeing it in the theater. It's one of those films, when you see the trailer, it's either going to be visually stunning, or it's going to be crap like Kill Bill. So, I buckled down to find out which.

If you didn't already know, the movie is shot in black and white, and some elements are colorized for effect. Things like eyes or lips on a woman, like the lights on a police car.. that kinda thing. It's really distracting at first, but after awhile you get used to it.

Sin city has 3 stories.. I guess you could call them ministories. The first deals with Bruce Willis trying to rescue a little girl from being raped and murdered. The second has a brute-force thug avenging the death of his prostitute, and the third is a murderer defending the prostitute district from a mobster.

The Bruce Willis story is by far the most compelling, but the other two aren't completely boring and aren't a waste of time.

Aside from that, this movie has several elements that are either strange, or just gratuitous:

- "This body won't fit into the trunk.. let's cut it up!"
- Unneccessary nudity, 100% of it is nude females.
- Excessive use of thongs in a non-swimwear context.

Frank Miller apparently has a fascination with S&M clothing, urine, and the removal of limbs, as all three of the stories contain these elements.

This film is not for people who are easily offended. It's also not a particularly well made film, but it is interesting, and ultimately entertaining for at least one viewing.

Overall Score: 7 of 10



Wouldn't You Like to Get Away?
Submitted Friday, November 11, 2005 - 7:49:13 PM by Klaitu

Sometimes you wanna go..

http://cheerstoyourthemannowdog.ytmnd.com/



Whoa!
Submitted Friday, November 11, 2005 - 11:43:43 AM by Klaitu




Matrix path of Neo just fell off my Gamefly GameQ. Why? Because of the whacked out ending!

Don't believe me?

http://media.putfile.com/ending-part-1

This sort of thing is hilarious, but not after I just spent 20 hours playing a game. I suppose those wachowski guys are doomed to make only crap games.



Resident Evil 4
Submitted Thursday, November 10, 2005 - 8:24:17 PM by Klaitu

I can remember my first time playing Resident Evil.. the very first one for playstation. Who could forget those horrible actors?

Resident Evil 4 contains nothing but a very basic similarity with the predecessors. Gone are the static backgrounds and bad camera angles of the original, but you still get to shoot zombie-like people who are shambling toward you.

Of course, if you follow games, then you've probably heard all about this the first time it came out over on the Gamecube.

Graphics are pretty good, though pretty much the standard quality of these late-gen PS2 games.

Gameplay is smooth, the controls are responsive, and while the game has a sort of "first person shooter" style of gameplay, it's not nearly as intense, and you're able to aim much more effectively.

Sound is pretty drab, but that's nothing new. With the exception to the stellar beginning of Resident Evil Outbreak 1, Capcom has always put sound design on the back burner.

The story? You're Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 2. You're now part of the secret service, and your first assignment is to rescue the President's Daughter from some backwater european country (where everyone speaks spanish). If you're quick on the trigger and a good aim, you might just uncover a few other mysteries while you're there.

The game is a bit short, for me it clocked in at 13 hours. Outbreak 1 and 2 are more difficult, and take longer than this one. This isn't neccessarily a detriment, just something of note.

Overall, a very satisfying game with a very unsatisfying plot. The game doesn't have much replay value, so I recommend a rentsl.. but the RE4 box on the shelf lends credibility to any collection.

Overall Score: 8 of 10



Soul Calibur 3
Submitted Thursday, November 10, 2005 - 12:38:22 PM by Klaitu

I'm not a huge fan of fighting games. I mean, I'll play them, but I'm not all up ons. At best, you could say that I find them mildly amusing.

That's about how I feel about Soul Calibur 3. As a fighting game, it's pretty good, but it plays pretty identically to Soul Calibur 2. You've got the same basic premise.. Everyone has a weapon, try to smash/slash/jab/smack your opponent as frequently as possible until they die, or you push them off the edge of the ring.

The game has a few features that are interesting, though. The normal mode of the game features dismally interactive cutscenes. They're okay, I suppose, except when the button combinations appear on screen, it tells me to press Left + A, except I'm on a PS2, I have no A button!

They've got a mode called "Chronicles of the Sword" Which is sort of like a strategic RPG. I'll give them props for the attempt to make the gameplay something more than endless beatup fights, but this mode lacks the strategic depth to be satisfying. It comes of as merely an excuse to have a series of battles that aren't on a tournament tree.

One excellent feature of SC3 is the Character Creation. You can make your very own Soul Calibur fighter, which is pretty gosh-darn cool. Only one problem: You can't play the game with that character. You can play the strategic mode with them.. you can play Vs. with them, but you can't play the normal game with them, and that's just silly.

Graphics are crisp and clear, and the background are beautiful and fun. The music seems rehashed from Soul Calibur 2.. I found myself instantly being annoyed by the music.. but the music is so flat and pedantic that I don't know if I've heard it before, or if my brain just figured out how the music goes already.

Soul Calibur 3 is a step in the right direction, but it's a baby step. A more appropriate title for this game would have been Soul Calibur 2.3. Still, if you're a Soul Calibur fan, it's worth a look. It's not a bad game, It's just not terribly original.

Overall Score: 7 of 10



Litigiousness
Submitted Thursday, November 10, 2005 - 12:21:40 PM by Klaitu

I've seen my fair share of wacky court cases over the years.. and while today's doesn't really take the cake as the wackiest ever, it certainly is frivolous.

Do you remember back in the day when you could buy one of those "BIG" PS2's? Well, those babies had a problem, known as the "Disc Read Error" problem. A substandard part inside the PS2 would wear out, making the machine unable to direct the laser to the appropriate places. Sony later entirely redesigned the PS2 to eliminate this problem entirely.. but owners of the fat model PS2 can still get theirs repaired for free.

Well, now there is a lawsuit that claims that "The plaintiffs in those cases claim that certain inappropriate “Disc Read Error” messages are displayed. They also claim that some PS2s fail to play and that some of them cause damage to CDs or DVDs during playback. The companies that were sued, including Sony Computer Entertainment of America Inc. (“SCEA”), say they did not do anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with the PS2."

While it's well established that the old PS2's have a design flaw, I'm not at all sure how that makes Sony liable for any damages whatsoever. In the most extreme cases, people would continue to put their discs into the machine, which after awhile would cause them to be scratched as the laser would malfunction and ram itself into the disc. This is the only external damage associated with the DRE.

So, what's this all mean to real life? If you own a PS2 with a certain model number, and the lawsuit is a success, you could, possibly, someday in the future get a huge check.. for $25 (or $31 Canadian).

Now I ask you.. is it worth it? Is it worth all the effort with the lawyers and the courts and all that business for a measley 25 bucks? Especially when your legal stance is precarious at best. I mean, you'd have to prove that Sony did something nefariously criminal.. and I don't believe that there was some consipracy to ruin people's CD's with a bad part.

Anyways, they've filed the suit in San Mateo, which is good for them, because Caifornia has a way of upholding lawsuits that should otherwise be dropped.



Shatner + Danza = Shatza
Submitted Wednesday, November 9, 2005 - 9:02:43 PM by Klaitu

Well, it's mildly funny anyways.. that Shatner is a hoot!

http://www.boston-legal.org/interviews/danza/tv-danza-shatner-11-7-2005.asx



Strange but true!
Submitted Wednesday, November 9, 2005 - 8:42:42 PM by Klaitu

GB did this over on her blog, and I saw it and thought it was pretty cool, so I took it upon myself as a side project to totally steal her idea and do the exact same thing!

No doubt this illustrates some personal weakness on my part, but I'm gonna go ahead and do this anyway. Essentially, it's just strange facts about things I do.

- I'm not sure why, but I dislike being wet. Swimming Pool, Rain, Bathing.. not a real big fan of moisture.

- I can't stand having really short hair. I think it has something to do with my ears being exposed to the elements.

- I absolutely hate shaving. It's like mowing the lawn, except on my face.. and about 2 times harder.

- While we're on the subject of facial hair, I can't grow a beard because some of my "beard zone" doesn't grow hair for some reason.

- I am obsessed with abbreviating long phrases into acronyms. IDKW.

- I don't like driving, especially alone, and particularly in the evening.

- I never wear socks. Why? Because I'm just too lazy to find some and put them on.

- My shoes smell like a marmaset died in there. Good thing my foot seals up the hole!

- I enjoy tacos. Lots of tacos, with cheddar cheese, or cheddar jack cheese. Preferably from Taco Mayo, but I'm open to other Taco pretenders.

- My Eye juice was once saturated by TANG when an air pressure difference caused the can to explode in my face.

- I enjoy smacking things with cardboard tubes. I wish toilet paper rolls were longer. They're only good for throwing.

- My toes pop when I walk.

- I do not consume plants unless they have undergone a remarkable transformation first. Apples? no. Apple Juice? Yes! Potatoes? no. French Fries? YES!

- The exception to the above is the tomato. With the possible exception of BBQ sauce, Tomatoes can kiss my butt.

- I consider myself a Video Game conniseur.

- I'm extremely nerdy.. but you already knew that.

- I never make my bed. Actually, I need like a sleeping pod, because I wake up and go to sleep in the same way.

- I always sleep on my stomach. I find it more comfortable, and in my imagination, it prevents sleep apnea!

- I fervantly believe that Uma Thurman is one of the ugliest women on the planet. Her and Halle Berry.

- I can do the hand jive. It's true! I often can't resist if I'm listening to good music.

- I invented the wafflebutter Taco! Take an Eggo, toast it, slather on some Peanut Butter (preferably whipped) and fold it up into a taco! Delicious!

- I have been known to lick the leftover contents of the McDonalds McNuggets BBQ tub when the supply of McNuggets has been McEaten.

- I don't wear hats.. they make my head itch uncontrollably until I have to take the hat off and scratch!

- While sleeping, I must have eiter a fan blowing directly over me, or a bedroom temperature below 60 degrees.. preferrably both.

- I know how to play Two musical instruments, the Trombone and the French Horn. The Trombone is cooler.

- Grape Nuts give me heartburn.

- I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have any piercings, don't have any tattoos, and have never consumed alcohol. Never even been into a bar or a nightclub. Furthermore, I've never worn leather, rode on a motorcycle, or been involved in a falony crime of any variety.

- I am a master of operating the Hot/Cold handles with my feet while in the bathtub.

- I am the whitest man alive. You know Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I'm whiter than he is.

- I once fratulently pulled the fire alarm at a hotel in Alberta, Canada. I had just learned how to sound out words, and I read the alarm.. "PULL" it said, and I did! I had no idea what it was for.. until afterwards.

- All da lady-types are all up ons the Klaitu all day longs.

- My favorite types fo weather (in order of preference): Blizzard, Slowing, Sleeting, Ice/snow mix, Thunderstorm, Showers, Sprinkles, Overcast, Sunny Spring/Fall day, Sunny Summer day, Sunny winter day.

- I beat up a kid and sat on him once when he tried to turn a snowball fight into a fist fight. 10 years later he was arrested drug trafficking.

- I don't have any need for sunglasses. Some people say they wear sunglasses to reduce glare and to cut down on the sunlight, but I never really had a problem.

- I've placed in both a boomerang throwing competition and an archery competition.

- I am a sexy, sexy man.. with abs of steel! Hey, they're in there somewhere, I just know it!
Well, that's all I have for now. I'll let you all ponder the deepness within me.



Jack Thompson Eats It
Submitted Wednesday, November 9, 2005 - 11:20:26 AM by Klaitu

He removed himself from a recent court case because he started acting like a freak and the Judge was going to disbar him.

Would you like to know more?



SWG Hijinks
Submitted Friday, November 4, 2005 - 11:02:29 PM by Klaitu

Well, someone is upset.. and vocal:

Hey Gang!

We've been overwhelmed by how thrilled everyone is at our AMAZING new changes and I thought I'd take this opportunity to walk you through some more fabulous enhancements we're planning to add over the coming days:

Rotating Gameplay!

Changing the gameplay twice in 6 months is no longer able to appease the gaping voids in our souls that can only be filled by money so we will be implementing an exciting new innovation in online gameplay. Get this - Rotating Game Engine, it's so stupid it HAS to work! Every 2 weeks the game engine will be changed to ape that of whatever is selling the best, could be Super Mario Bros on the NES it could be a bass fishing sim - there's just no telling what we'll do next! OBEY.

New Player Races!

Recently fabricated figures have revealed to us that a staggering 200% of our precious, beloved community are eager to explore more "starwarsy" races so we've done away with those "so 5 minutes ago" ones and added a new gaggle of races we think will make us more money and attract children, children with money.

- Gungans

Whosa doesn't love the gungans eh?! Am I right or what? And now yousa canna be jussem likes such fan favourites as Jar Jar Binks...or Brian Blessed or the, you know, the one with the Charles Bronson moustache! Look out for new racial abilities like /bumble, /caper and /irritate!

- Mouse Droids

It occured to us that we could save ourselves a lot of money if player characters were easier to animate and code. When we asked our focus groups, mainly consisting of convicts on work-release, children and SONY accountants they were excited almost to the point of indifference! Finally a race that can scuttle, and bleep and store up to 10 inventory items unbound by frivolities like combat, talking to other players and doing stuff!

- Ikopi

Can you say /graze? Good.

We're Here For You

We also understand there have been some "concerns" expressed by the so called "crafters" and "creature handlers" so we have tirelessly worked to come up with a solution that we're sure you'll agree will make sure everyone important is happy. Get bent you nerds, shut your cryholes, you think we owe you an explanation?! Your characters will now be interred in one of our exciting new battery farms where you will remain until the time comes that you are destroyed for food to nourish our more valued players like Bounty Hunters - Bounty Hunters with money.

New Profession Mastery System

Some players aren't fond of the grind at the end of a profession to fill that coveted Master box so we have come up with a way to condense those hours of mind-numbing grinding into a few painful seconds: hurt yourself. Simply send us a photgraph of you harming yourself in some way and you'll be sporting that Master title in no time! And we don't mean like an indian burn or anything either, you people say you love this game and now it's time to find out how much. SUFFER.

Monthly Subscription Enhancements!

To add a more "starwarsy" flavour to our wallets we are now adding an exciting new 7 bucks onto your monthly subscription fee! The bling bling doesn't pay for itself, you feel me? WE OWN YOU.

We realise that with change comes certain sacrifices and boy, you guys are great, way to take it on the chin. I just know that with all the hours you've wasted on the classes we decided to discard on a whim and your continued financial support we can realise our goal to continuously cheapen the Star Wars experience, the one we all know and love from the Ewok movies and cartoons; action-packed, story-driven, Star Wars fun. And for our veterans there's always the token incentives that we may or may not eventually decide to delete/nerf depending on how capricious we're feeling that week!

In closing I'd like to thank all of you for your loyalty and input; I mean, they don't really mean anything to us but thanks anyway, we'll see that you get a new hologram or something.

May The Force Be With You



The Legend of Zorro
Submitted Friday, November 4, 2005 - 10:54:14 PM by Klaitu

Not as awesome as the original.

Fun for the whole family.

Ridiculous kid fighting adult action!

In this sequel, Zorro is supporting the statehood of California, when an evil secret society decides to try to help the Confederacy win the Civil War.. with soap!

See Catherine Zeta-Jones beat up the Secret Service with a shovel!

Watch as a little mexican boy beats up his teacher!

Swoon as Zorro cuts through ropes and knocks people through various wood objects!

Honestly though, I give this film props for showing at least some of the actual swordfights, and not using the "high action" directing that is so prevalent.

Overall Score: 7 of 10



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted Wednesday, November 2, 2005 - 11:39:36 PM by Klaitu

They turned Star Wars Galaxies into a FPS.

No Joke.

First Age of Shadows and now this? Twice in one life time!

I'll get you next time, game developers!



Tootsie Rolls? What the Crap?
Submitted Tuesday, November 1, 2005 - 3:03:40 PM by Klaitu

With halloween past, this is a timely subject: Why does anyone buy tootsie rolls?

Tootsie rolls are crap. They look like crap, they smell like crap, and they taste like crap. Are they chocolate? Are they butter? Are they some sort of mysterious amalgamated confection?

Whatever they are, they're crap! Stop buying them, people! Don't give them out on halloween!

The only possible exception is the Tootsie pop, which is a tootsie roll on a stick covered in fruit flavor. They are most delicious, but also most dangerous. Like a time bomb of nasty, a tootsie roll sits in your mouth, wafting its pungent flavor through your taste buds.. and then, in an instant BAM! Tootsie Roll sewage all up in the mizzy.

One day when I stop being lazy I'm going to form a political interest group which will get this swill banned from halloween forever!

Who's with me?!?

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!!



Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves
Submitted Tuesday, November 1, 2005 - 11:23:48 AM by Klaitu

So far as 3D platformers are concerned, all must bow before the awesomeness which is the Sly Cooper series. So, I hit up Gamefly for the latest installment of the Sly Cooper series.

If you've been paying attention, then you know that Sly Cooper is a Raccoon thief that trots around the globe getting in and out of trouble by stealing things like the world's most expensive chocolate bar.

In Sly 3, the big prize is the Cooper vault.. a secret island where the Cooper lineage has hid it's booty since the ancient egyptians. The only problem is that the nefarious Dr. M has taken over the entire island and has been trying to break into the vault. He's beefed up security on the island, and breaking in will require forming a team specialists.

Sly 3 plays pretty closely to the other 2 Sly games.. you can pretty much directly switch from each one to another with no problems. This time, though, it's just not Sly, Bentley, and Murray.. you've also got a cast of other characters with special skills. My personal favorite is the Panda King.. master of fireworks!

Sly 3 isn't so difficult as the first two games, I found this to be a most welcome improvement. Gameplay is pretty straightforward, and there aren't a lot of times where you're stuck going "what am I supposed to do now?"

The cutscenes in this one are particularly creative. The music is classic Sly fare. You just can't go wrong here. Fun for all ages!

This baby packs in about.. oh.. 10 or 15 hours of gameplay, so you could rent it if you wanted to. This one is worthy of a purchase, though.

Overall Score: 9 of 10