November 2004

1987
Submitted Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 11:13:55 PM by Klaitu

What were you doing on Thanksgiving, 1987? Well, I know what I was doing.. and after almost 20 years, it has resurfaced. I dunno if you want to watch this, because it's pretty frightening.. but:

http://www.x-entertainment.com/thanksgiving/macyparade/1987/macystgparade87-marvelcomicsfloat.wmv

Porn or Pony?
Submitted Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - 2:59:06 PM by Klaitu

You know, I never really thought about this, but you really can't tell the difference between porn star names and My Little Pony names. As suprising as that may sound, it's true.. see if you can beat the quiz!

http://www.brunching.com/pornorpony.html

SWEET BABY IRONY!
Submitted Monday, November 29, 2004 - 10:01:38 PM by Klaitu

The Optomist's club is calling it quits due to lack of interest..

"I feel sad," club president Bernard Kensky said.

Dang, man. That's gotta hurt!

http://www.lancasteronline.com/pages/news/ap/4/sad_optimists

Bad News for X3
Submitted Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 1:46:02 AM by Klaitu

From Cinescape:

In an exclusive interview with X-MEN producer Lauren Shuler Donner, the CHUD movie website broke brand new news concerning the direction that both the X-MEN 3 and WOLVERINE films are taking. Among the tidbits learned from Donner is that the door is still open for Joss Whedon to possibly direct X3; and that the storyline for the third X-MEN film will include the legendary Dark Phoenix story arc from the UNCANNY X-MEN comic book series ("with new storylines and characters," added Donner.)

"Sir, I have taught the Klingons how to celebrate Christmas."
Submitted Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 1:04:47 AM by Klaitu

When worlds that should never connect DO.. You get a Star Trek/Christmas poem. Be afraid, be very afraid. Then, read it anyway.

'Twas the night before Christmas on the Enterprise-D,
On a routine short hop to Starbase 03.

With Data on duty in the command chair,
At Warp 6 the Enterprise soon would be there.

Just for something to do while the other crew slept,
He scanned where historical records were kept.

And with a blink of his eye and a cock of his head,
"Intriguing! Tomorrow is Christmas!" he said.

But no one was stirring, and he sought to find why,
And so he buzzed Geordi, who awoke with a sigh:

"Christmas? It's only an old holiday-
Now just let me get back to sleep, okay?"

"But is to wish Merry Christmas not human to do?"
And so Data wished it-to the whole ship and crew.

Everyone on the Enterprise awoke from this clatter-
Picard rushed to the bridge to see what was the matter.

"What is the meaning of this noise, Mister Data?"
"Sir, is it not Christmas--?" "We'll discuss it much later!"

Just then Worf said, "Captain-a Klingon Prey Bird!
Its hull has been damaged-it's uncloaking, sir."

"On screen," said Picard, as the Klingon ship hailed:
"Federation vessel, our Life Support systems have failed!

A strange ship attacked us, inflicting the worst,
(though naturally, of course, we'd fired on it first)."

The Klingons beamed over, and the senior staff met,
To try and determine the source of the threat.

Said Picard, "Mister Data, an assignment for you:
Give all of these Klingons something to do!

They think it's the Romulans we should look for,
Get them all off the bridge, before there's a war!"

So Data departed, while the rest of the crew
Wondered: Romulans? Ferengi? If not them, then who?

Said Worf, "Sir-disturbance on Holodeck Three!"
The entire bridge crew ran down there to see.

Roared Picard, "Mister Data, what the devil is this!!"
"Sir, I have taught the Klingons how to celebrate Christmas."

And so there they were-on holodecks 3, 4 and 5
With synthohol, singing and Rokeg Blood Pie!

Soon the Big E was rocking with holiday cheer
Friend, foe, and family came from both far and near.

The Romulans showed up with some Romulan Ale,
The Ferengi brought goodies for free-not for sale!

But a strange ship was coming, the captain was told,
With one crew member only, and a huge cargo hold.

Said the Klingons, "It's the strange ship that fought us-attack!"
Said Picard, "On Christmas? – Mister Worf, just hold back."

And then as the ship came into view,
On screen came its captain-none other than Q!

He wore a white beard and a suit of deep red...
"Joyeux Noel, mon captain," was what Santa Q said.

"Tell those Klingons next time to not go so berserk.
You need good defense systems in this line of work.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be warping away...
Did you think anyone else could do this job in one day?"

"I'm sensing emotion," said Counselor Troi,
"Peace in the galaxy, Good Will and Joy."

And they stood on the bridge and watched Q take flight,
shouting, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

Yuletide Extreme
Submitted Sunday, November 28, 2004 - 12:56:58 AM by Klaitu

Nothing much is happening.

In the meantime, please enjoy this comical picture of Buddy the Elf.

So whimsical. So benign. So Yuletide.

I Shoulda Been an Artist
Submitted Friday, November 26, 2004 - 1:53:22 PM by Klaitu



That coulda been me, overacting in front of a bed made out of sliced bread.

Yeah, this guy made a bed out of bread, and then he ate out his own imprint, coated the whole thing in wax, dried it, and then made insane amounts of money.

This isn't his first project, though.. he turned heads a few years ago when he coated both an egg and a hand grenade in lead.. and apparently that made it art.

Yeah, so I'm gonna go carve a tree out of wood, that should be ironic enough to make some serious cash!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1374373,00.html

Phantom of the Opera
Submitted Thursday, November 25, 2004 - 8:56:48 PM by Klaitu

I did a post awhile back on the Phantom of the Opera and how awesome it has always been. Well, it's time for an update:

Phantom of the Opera is now even awesomer than it was before. I got my hands on the POTO soundtrack CD for the movie, and lemme tell ya, it's pimpin!

There are a lot of changes between the two versions, most notably the dialogue in many places has been changed. The ending holds some more racy changes, as the sexual aspect of the Phantom's predator nature comes through a bit more overtly, which makes it creepy, and makes the climax moment much more effective.

There are also several instances where lines that are sung in the original are merely spoken or whispered. This suprisingly makes the story a lot easier to follow than the original. There's also "movie effects" like when characters are distant to one another, they sound distant. There are all sorts of echo effects when they are in a large room, and many times, when they're standing right, you get them in stereo, which is a neat effect.

The movie cast is, of course, different than the original cast, and so their performances are less technically perfect, but more emotionally charged.. especially in the case of the Phantom. In the original, he pretty much sings every line he has.. in the movie, he often gets so overcome with anger that he just stops singing and spits out his lines in anger to the music. Shocking and new, and highly effective.

The only downfall that I heard was in one line. The line "A consequence beyond your imagination will occur!" in the original its so loud and distant that it resonates the entire opera house. In the movie, it's just spoken matter-of-factly with little or no emphasis.

So, if you're wanting to check out Phantom of the Opera before the movie is released on December 22, I highly recommend the movie soundtrack. You can pretty much follow the entire story from it.

Soliciting Feminine Feedback
Submitted Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - 4:26:27 PM by Klaitu

Alright, check this out, I found another article over on Fox as I was reading along, and this one I found to be particularly interesting. I won't quote the full thing here, but here are some of the snippets I found of particular interest:

Single women are flocking to buy a little pink book that states what seemingly would be obvious: If he doesn't act like he's into you, it means — he's just not into you!

*snip*

Behrendt says he has received some pretty nasty and even threatening e-mails from guys who got the boot on account of this book. But many men say the advice, which claims that men are not complicated at all but too scared and/or lazy to ditch a woman who isn't "the one," hits the nail on the head.

"Yes, sometimes it is just easier to continue to date [women] then to go through the process of breaking up with them," said 29-year-old New Jersey native Rich Viana.

Viana, a senior computer network engineer, has done his share of dating since moving to New York City. And he admits there are times when "my cell battery is dying" or "I have to work late" is a lot easier than "I'm just not that into" talking to you right now.

*snip*

But do the authors offer good advice? Relationship therapist Mary Rower (search) said it's a start, but that women finding themselves in situations with uninterested guys should do some soul-searching before doing more male-searching.

"I love the book. I just think that rather than just blow the guy off, it should also make a woman look at herself and see why she would be with someone like that in the first place," she said.

Tuccillo said some fellow "Sex and the City" writers did question her on two lessons from the book: that a woman should leave a man who doesn't want to marry her, and that a woman must never ask a man out.

9th Circuit
Submitted Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - 3:47:00 PM by Klaitu

Caught an interesting article over on Fox News regarding the 9th circuit being divided into several smaller circuits. Here's the original:

WASHINGTON — For many conservatives, the words "9th Circuit" mean more than just a federal appeals court in California. The words embody everything they think is wrong with liberal activism, West Coast politics and the judges who tried to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance.

Those same conservatives think their new clout following President Bush's re-election may help put some weight behind a movement to split up the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, leaving the 9th in California, creating a new 12th Circuit for neighboring Idaho, Arizona, Montana and Nevada; and a new 13th Circuit for Washington, Alaska and Oregon.

"Almost everything is going to be affected by the election," said Kay Daly, who heads the Coalition for a Fair Judiciary, a conservative group working to get Bush's judicial nominations through the Senate. She said conservatives will be pushing hard to split up the 9th Circuit.

"The 9th Circuit seems to wield an awful lot of power, and it is the most reversed court in the nation," she said. "There's some serious judicial activism going on there."

By a vote of 205 to 194, the House on Oct. 5 passed an amendment by Rep. Mike Simpson, R-Idaho, to the Bankruptcy Judgeship Act that would divide the 9th Circuit into three parts. The entire bankruptcy bill passed the House shortly afterward.

Republicans largely voted for the measure while Democrats opposed it. But two California Republicans, Reps. Christopher Cox and David Dreier, voted against the amendment.

Retired Judge Robert Bork, a former U.S. Solicitor General and federal appeals court justice, said the 9th Circuit "has always been a maverick court," but splitting it up is more complicated than it sounds.

"I don't know if it's such a hot idea to have a court confined to California," he told FOXNews.com. "You would still get a court full of activist judges, and a court that doesn't represent the whole of the state."

But the lawmakers who sponsored the legislation in both the House and Senate say the 9th Circuit is not only ideologically different from its own Western values, the court is overworked. They point to the judges' caseload and sluggish docket.

"It's the most overloaded circuit out there," said Dan Whiting, spokesman for Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, who introduced the Senate companion bill with Sen. John Ensign, R-Nev. "We certainly have concerns over how the court works, but at the same time there are other concerns with the overload, with its workloads, that far outweighs any other concern."

"[Ensign] is as aware as many people are that the court is completely overloaded," said Jack Finn, spokesman for the senator.

But not everyone believes that workload is the overriding concern for GOP lawmakers, and a lot more senators will be needed to get a ringing endorsement. Senate sources say it has a glimmer of a chance of being brought up in the Senate, but not much more than that, at least for now.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., who opposes the measure, has put a hold on the Craig-Ensign bill, basically bottling it up in limbo, and has warned against attempts to slip it into larger bills.

"It would be inappropriate to undertake such a momentous transformation of our nation's judicial system with little opportunity for debate and consideration," Feinstein said in a letter to the Appropriations Committee Chairman, Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, on Nov. 15.

The chief judge of the 9th Circuit, Hon. Mary M. Schroeder of Arizona, and several of the court's judges have been vocally opposed to the effort. Schroeder was out of the country and could not be reached for comment, but has stated publicly that the measure would break up common interests among neighboring states.

Conservatives have not been shy about their dismay over what they consider to be the court's ideological slant. That dismay surfaced explosively in 2002, when the 9th Circuit declared the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional because it makes reference to God in one verse. The U.S. Supreme Court later overruled the court on technical grounds.

To conservatives, this was the culmination of years of "liberal" decisions on everything from environmental issues, to crime, drugs and sex.

"These contemptuous judgments tear at the moral fabric of our nation, disregard the will of the people and force a corrupt ideology upon our society," said Rep. Rick Renzi, R-Ariz., after the House passed an amendment that included language he introduced in April to split the court.

He said rural Arizonans were tired of the 9th Circuit ruling against their interests, and pointed to judgments concerning cattle grazing and preventing forest fires. "Based in San Francisco, the current 9th Circuit is out of touch with western values," Renzi said.

But not all Arizonans necessarily agree. The Arizona House delegation split its vote along party lines.

Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., said the ideological drive behind the proposals in both the House and Senate have made lawmakers uncomfortable. "It's obvious what is going on, the other side is very clear that this is what they are doing," Schiff told FOXNews.com.

He said he heads a caucus with Rep. Judy Biggert, R-Ill., to work, in part, on solutions to the worsening relationship between the courts and Congress. "This just makes it worse."

But Finn said Ensign is confident that the enough bipartisan support exists in the Senate to split up the court.

"We're confident that it will go somewhere, the question is not if, but when," Finn said. "It's a commonsense bill and he intends to pursue it."

Nerd Factor 9
Submitted Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - 4:40:31 AM by Klaitu

Found an interesting Trek site, this time an almost-canon timeline of ST events.. and even the non-canon stuff is marked.

Though one would think that if they knew enough to mark them, they would know enough to exclude them..

http://members.cox.net/stenterprise/enttmln.htm

One Last Brockovich
Submitted Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - 3:59:30 AM by Klaitu

Alright, you've seen the original Brockovich, you saw Brockovich 2: The Disagreement, and you've read all about Brockovich 3: Chromium of doom.. and after all of this, it's time for... BRIDE OF BROCKOVICH!

Seems that Sneaky Guy has been following up on his retorts and whatnot.. now all I have to do is implement my subliminal mind control scheme!

At any rate, he goes on to say that the EPA found the tests inconclusive, and also expresses that Chromium can cause all sorts of problems, and death.

So, in the interests of clearing all this up (because I know all of you out there care about the toxicity of Chromium 6) Here are a few points:

My disagreement with Blue Beard was not over the Chromium 6 issue, so much as it was about having blind faith in some thing that I read on the internet. In general, it is unwise to believe anything on the internet without corroborating it (and then taking it with a grain of salt).

Anyways, the point is that I didn't base my decision on "'Cuz Fumento told me to" I based it upon my own interpretation of the information provided by the EPA. It indicates, to me, that chromium 6 at the dosage level that the people recieved isn't a problem. Their analysis indicates (at least to me) that you're not at a risk of negative effect unless you ingest a large amount of it.

I am also absolutely certain that if you give someone enough Chromium 6, they will die.

Aside from people drinking chromium, they also drink Uranium, which everyone knows is a deadly radioactive metal.. except at the amounts that the average human ingests Uranium, it is not a problem for them.

This is, of course, my opinion of the evidence. The EPA didn't study Chromium in direct relation to the Brockovich case, so only they know what their findings would be on the matter.

Again, this is how I came to my opinion. No blind faith involved, though I do agree with Fumento, and I do think he tore into Brockovich pretty amusingly, which is why I liked his quote.

I don't really like Brockovich at all, so is my opinion biassed? Probably. You readers (all of you) don't have to agree with me. Read the stuff and make up your own mind, that's why I included the link in the original article in the first place.

At least I know someone out there uses the links I put up.

Band of Brothers 2?
Submitted Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - 11:04:50 PM by Klaitu

Not technically, the proper title for this new WW2 miniseries is "The Pacific War". It's got the same producers and crew as Band of Brothers, and some pretty high-profile directors lined up.. namely Clint Eastwood. Here's the information straight from the horses mouth:

At 13 hours, the new Tom Hank's and Steven Spielberg telling of the war in the Pacific, can't possibly cover every campaign or tell every service's contribution, says one of the writers for the upcoming HBO mini-series.

According to one of the writers, he plans to follow the interweaving stories of five men throughout the war. He explained that even with the millions of men fighting all over the Pacific Theater, there were countless incidents of men's paths crossing even though they were in different branches of the military.

Unlike the original Band of Brothers, we will also see plenty of action on the home front. This was the last war our country fought when everyone sacrificed, whether in combat, working in defense plants, growing crops or sending their sons, husbands, fathers, and uncles off to fight.

None of the characters will be “based on” or “composites” the writer says. They are real, identifiable people, he says. As they did with Band of Brothers, we will see some of these men as they are today, describing what it was like fighting in the Pacific Campaign. With more than 1,000 World War II vets dying each month, many of those who fought and lived will likely not see the series. Some whose stories are told may pass before it is completed. The writers say it will be hard to match the emotional intensity of Band of Brothers, “but we're going to try,” he says.

Clint Eastwood and Steven Spielberg are teaming up to bring the story of the Battle of Iwo Jima to the big screen. Eastwood will direct an adaptation of "Flags of Our Fathers" for DreamWorks Studios . The battle, which took place in winter 1945, was a turning point in the Pacific theater. In one month, 22,000 Japanese and 26,000 Americans died, and the battle produced one of World War II's most enduring images: a photograph of six soldiers raising an American flag on the flank of Mount Suribachi, the island's commanding high point.

Holy Crap! It's Snowing!
Submitted Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - 10:13:33 PM by Klaitu

Yep, time to get in the Christmas Spirit. In that flavor, I've slapped up ye olde snowflakes from a year ago. Aren't they nifty? I think so.

Now, to decorate the rest of the site!

Farscape Syndication
Submitted Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - 2:10:34 AM by Klaitu

Speaking of Farscape..

Variety is now reporting that Debmar Studios has bought syndication rights for the Farscape series, and they will begin in the fall season of 2005.

All you poor huddled masses who don't have cable or sat now have a chance to catch up with the Farscape awesomeness that we technologically advanced peoples know to be awesome!

Battlestar Galactica Soundtrack
Submitted Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - 2:06:33 AM by Klaitu

Gee, you think I'm in a BSG funk or something?

The company that did the BSG soundtrack is the same one that did the Farscape soundtrack.. which means, FREE DOWNLOADS!

http://www.lalalandrecords.com/BattlestarGalactica.html

I personally recommend the main title theme.. experience the odd coolness of the Colonial Harmony and whatnot.

The music stands by itself, even if you're not into the show.

Battlestar Galactica 2004
Submitted Monday, November 22, 2004 - 1:26:31 AM by Klaitu

The pilot was excellent, and now that I've had the chance to check out the first 5 episodes of the new series, I must say that I'm impressed. Very impressed.

BSG is still a little strange.. being a fan of the original, I recognize the words and places and terminology, but everything is all mixed up. Everyone has first and last names. Gone are my beloved Microns, Centons, and Yahrens. I haven't heard of any Feldercarb happening yet, but at least frak made it in.

In fact, if I have any complaint about the new Battlestar, it's that it's just a little too.. "earthy". They use Minures and seconds.. they use kilometers. They use naval abbreviations, like CAG and XO. Pilots wear wings on their uniforms.

The best way to think about it, in my opinion, is as a series that pays tribute to the original, without actually being the original. If you forget about what the characters were originally, it's actually quite enjoyable.

My other major complaint is the style of directing. It's filmed in a way that's supposed to make you think that it was filmed with a camcorder on the spot.. this results in some strange zooms, and moments where the characters are slightly out of focus.. but it's done artificially, and so it seems completely fake. The strangeness of the camera rips me right out of the story, and into "dang, they zoomed up his nostril again" mode.

Other than that, the show is decent by any standard. I have to give special mention to the sound designers, though. The music is wonderfully odd and alien, and it fits perfectly with the style of the visuals. The sound takes you along with the show, instead of the show dragging around the music.

I am really stoked about the broadcast appearance of BSG this January on the Sci-Fi channel. If you're one of those people who don't have Sci-Fi, I recommend you update your programming package so that you do get it. This series is worth the subscription.

Average Overall Score: 9 of 10

Trio
Submitted Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 5:08:29 PM by Klaitu

I didn't even know I got the "Trio" channel until last night, when there was nothing on, and somehow we wound up watching Cirque du Soleil.

I've never done drugs, but I'm pretty sure that if I did, it would be a lot like watching Cirque du Soleil. That kinda stuff messes with your mind, and trippy things are happening all over the place.

Oh, sure, you've got the stunts.. like a chick folding herself in half upside down while balancing with her pinky on a spinning plate held by a sad clown.

And then her act might be followed by, oh, I dunno, say a little girl and a headless man with an umbrella singing about how much love they have.. in French.. while two people in loincloths are folded into a ball attached to a rope dangling from the ceiling and a guy dressed like a seal who popped out of a trap door in the floor is spinning them around at super speed.

According to the Trio guide listing, Cirque du Soleil exhibitions are supposed to tell a story. From my own observations, the only story I'm getting is that they're all on crack and they can bend really good... but the official description is:

"Follow an alienated Young Girl as she withdraws from a lonely world into a world of fantasy, imagination, dreams, and nightmares. then, step out of the shadows, embrace the beauty."

You know, the description isn't all that helpful either. Left to my own devices, I think I'm gonna have to go with my original theory: Drugs.

but heck, those guys can dance.

Sneaky Galactica
Submitted Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 4:54:43 PM by Klaitu

You know what those brits are up to right now? They're watchin Battlestar Galactica! Yep, that's right, they're watchin the new one that none of us America-folk won't get until January.

Buggers!

Oh well, at least we Farscaped the crap out of them.

More Brockovich
Submitted Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 4:47:51 PM by Klaitu

Seems that the story on Erin Brockovich drew up some controversy! Oh Joy! Someone disagrees with me! Imagine that! You can check the counterarticle over at http://www.jimsnyder.net/ and read how I have "blind faith" of Michael Fumento.

In fact, it wasn't Fumento who convinced me that Brockovich's "big situation" was full of holes, it was the Enviornmental Protection Agency link in his article. He also had a link from some International Agency like the EPA on there, too.

Here's the pertainant paragraph

For rats treated with 0-11 ppm (in drinking water), blood was examined monthly, and tissues (livers, kidneys, and femurs) were examined at 6 mo and 1 year. Spleens were also examined at 1 year. The 25 ppm groups (and corresponding controls) were examined similarly, except that no animals were killed at 6 mo. An abrupt rise in tissue chromium concentrations was noted in rats treated with more than 5 ppm. The authors stated that "apparently, tissues can accumulate considerable quantities of chromium before pathological changes result." In the 25 ppm treatment groups, tissue concentrations of chromium were approximately 9 times higher for those treated with hexavalent chromium than for the trivalent group. Similar no-effect levels have been observed in dogs. Anwar et al. (1961) observed no significant effects in female dogs (2/dose group) given up to 11.2 ppm chromium(VI) (as K2CrO4) in drinking water for 4 years. The calculated doses were 0.012-0.30 mg/kg of chromium(VI).

Rediscovering Enterprise
Submitted Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 4:05:28 PM by Klaitu

If you're one of those people who likes Star Trek, but can't stand Enterprise (which is pretty much everyone) you should give it a second glance. Last weeks episode was actually competant!

I have an admission to make.. ever since the DS9 finale, I haven't ever re-watched an episode of Star Trek.. there just isn't any reason to.. until now.

For the next 2 weeks, you'll be seeing a Vulcan arc, that is to say, you get to see how the crappy Enterprise Vulcans developed into the cool TOS vulcans that we all know and love.

Then, in 3 weeks begins another story arc that involves the very beginnings of the Federation.. and the Romulans don't like that much. If it's anything like Enterprise has been doing lately, it's going to rock.

Stick it on your TiVo and check it out. I had forgotten what a good Star Trek was like.

And for those of you in-the-know.. my Dad liked it.. and that's unprecedented, because he hasn't watched a Star Trek since TNG.

Two Man Enter, One Man Leave
Submitted Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 3:58:11 PM by Klaitu

Do you know what a moonbounce is? There's some controversy in that question.. some people think that it is a rubberized inflatable playpen for children.

In actuality, it is more reminiscent of the Thunderdome.

Until yesterday, I hadn't been in a moonbounce for some 20 some-odd years. I was at a birthday party, so I decided that I would do a good deed and keep the children occupied with the moonbounce.

Sure, it seemed innocent enough at the time..

Everything was going alright for awhile.. and I'm going to be honest here, I don't have the ninja-like reflexes I once had.. unless you're talking about a playstation controller.

Here's something that seems obvious: It's really hard to stand up in a moonbounce when you're 6 feet tall, and you have scads of 4 foot tall kids bouncing around you.. (and by "around" I mean "into").

Long story short, it wasn't long before my vertical went horizontal.. and like Gulliver's Travels, once they had me down, I was a goner. It was like I had stepped into their world, and it was time for me to pay.

And pay I did.

These little kids were mean, dude! Super mean! And they watch wrestling or something! The oldest one people's elbowed me, and then russian leg dropped me like 5 times! The youngest one kept trying to jam his drool covered fingers and buzz lightyear toy into my eyeballs.. but the meanest one was the 3 year old! She tried to jump-stomp me with both feet! Like Blanca in Street Fighter 2! I was fighting for my life!

The entire sequence reminded me of The Fellowship of the Ring, except this time I was the Cave Troll, and they were the hobbits. let me tell ya, you can throw them into the walls, into the ceiling, into each other.. but they keep coming! They're like little terminators.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm missing a couple internal organs somewhere.. they're probably behind the giant bruises all over by battered and broken body. It was so painful, it almost took away from the enjoyment of my safety pop.

Beware the moonbounce. Stay away.

Star Trek Hilarity
Submitted Thursday, November 18, 2004 - 3:24:10 PM by Klaitu

This one's a winner!

Someone has compiled a video of all the Star Trek jokes that ever occured on South Park. Whatever your opinion on South Park, these scenes are pretty freakin funny!

http://caps.trekpulse.com/tng/southparktrekparodies.wmv

http://caps.trekpulse.com/tng/picardglass.wmv

Who's that Girl?
Submitted Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 3:50:46 AM by Klaitu

If you're an Enterprise watcher like me, you probably wondered who that blonde chick who suddenly appeared on the bridge was, and why she was there.



Well, she's apparently a regular on the ET ripoff "Extra". She goes on different shows and gives you a behind the scenes look while appearing in the episode. You can check out the mildly entertaining video of Brent Spiner, Scott Bakula, and Levar Burton making fun of her here:

http://extratv.warnerbros.com//v2/video/daynatv.html?=daynatv_startrek

Evil Bert's Wild Ride
Submitted Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 3:32:48 AM by Klaitu

An older story, but I hadn't heard it before:

I don't know how many of you guys were around for the dawn of the world wide web.. back when Netscape 2.0 was state of the art.. but back them, I worked at AOL, and one of the many sites that I would visit on those oh-so-long boring days was called "Bert is Evil".

It was a site dedicated to proving that Bert (Ernie's muppet companion from Sesame Street) was truly the evil mastermind behind all of the world's woes.

The site has since come down, but thanks to the Wayback Machine, you're able to view an archive of it as it appeared back in the glory days of October, 1998.

Click Here for Bert is Evil!

Stay with me here, because we're about to go into strangeland.

This site was really popular among entry-level tech professionals who basically repeat themselves over and over 70 or 80 times a day. It was so popular that a gajillion mirror sites popped up, and some fans even took to creating new "evil bert" pictures.. and as times changed, Evil Bert began to show up with Osama Bin Laden, which is a natural leap, especially after September 11.

So, when pro-Osama supporters were looking for Osama pictures to put into a supportive protester collage poster, they looked on the internet, and they found just such a picture of Osama.. Osama and Evil Bert.

A company named Azad Products printed up some 2,000 of the posters, which were whisked away by protesters for their own purposes. Covering the protests, American news agencies like Reuters captured the ridiculous scene (check osama's left shoulder):

Today's Interesting Fact
Submitted Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 12:51:12 AM by Klaitu

The rhyme and reasoning of the number designations of Interstate Highways!

http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/highways.asp

The Original Series
Submitted Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - 12:21:49 AM by Klaitu

Everyone and their dog knows the original Star Trek theme song, but did you know that it originally had lyrics? Well, it did!

Beyond
The rim of the star-light
My love
Is wand'ring in star-flight
I know
He'll find in star-clustered reaches
Love,
Strange love a star woman teaches.
I know
His journey ends never
His star trek
Will go on forever.
But tell him
While he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me.

Welcome to the Jungle
Submitted Tuesday, November 16, 2004 - 8:11:36 PM by Klaitu

You remember the zany adventures of my globe-trotting Uncle, dont'cha? You may recall that last time around he was hangin with the homeys over in Yemen, which is primarily desert.. but this time, he's down south.. in Ecuador.

Apparently, there's oil in them thar jungles, and it's my Uncle's job to make sure they're able to get that oil outta there!

So, what's it like trapising off to Ecuador? Well, I've been looking through all the digital pictures he brought back, and I think I've got a pretty good idea of what goes on!



First thing, you need some nerds to go out there and find where the oil is. Here, you can see as one guy has discovered a mysterious stick! The guy in the middle has found an equally mysterious leaf! The guy on the right, well, I think he's supervising the "Stick and Leaf" department.. you know, to make sure they're discovering the crap out of that stuff.



Here we see the chinook helicopter coming in to do the heavy lifting. I'm pretty sure there's a secret cargo aboard.



Here we can see the original X-Men lending a hand to the rig crew. Every schoolkid knows how difficult it can be to install your own makeshift corrugated tin hot tub, so it's a good thing they stopped in to lend some much-needed mutant assistance. It was probably Beast's suggestion.



The X-Men weren't the only super-powered assistance. Here we have a first-ever glimpse of Clark Kent changing into Superman. Lookit that smile.. no wonder he needs a secret identity, that boy is up to no good!



After a hard day of installing makeshift corrugated tin hot tubs, it's time for a little row out on the lake at sunset, how romantic! Ecuador is widely known for having an abundance of the color orange, so they really try to use it all up at once when the sun sets.



Of course, you don't have to go rowing out on the lake, you can hang out at the beach in you formless jumpsuit and giant killer boots.



For the guys, there's... what the crap? It's a little kid on a bucking rodeo bull! Look out, kid! He'll tear you from limb to limb!.. oh crap, it's Ecuador.. I mean *ahem* ˇcAtención! ˇGuárdese del animal de la carne! I hope the kid made it out alive.. I mean really, who leaves their kid on a bucking rodeo bull in Ecuador anyways?

Alright, so maybe I don't have a clue what's going on on the Ecuadorian Oil Rig. I guess I should probably ask next time instead of just guessing.

But, the up side is that I did find a pretty cool video of a helicopter landing at the site. It's 13 megs and is in ASF format.

http://ds180.net/junk/rigland.asf

Star Trek Nemesis
Submitted Monday, November 15, 2004 - 11:39:01 PM by Klaitu

Alright, I liked Nemesis pretty good. It had some really good starship fight scenes in it, and it was pretty entertaining. It did, however, have a ton of unfortunate plot holes. Holes I wish would just go away every time I watch the movie. I want it to be good, but it's only bland!

Apparently, someone felt the same way I do:





Check out the whole thing, it's great:

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Nemesis/Pictorial-1.html

Boredom Treasure
Submitted Monday, November 15, 2004 - 5:19:25 PM by Klaitu

Blatant proof that dorks are everywhere: I was fooling around with Google earlier, and I was looking at all the different languages that Google is available in. Halfway down the list? Klingon.

But don't take my word for it:
http://www.google.com/intl/xx-klingon/

Goldberry's Top 20 Hot Mens
Submitted Monday, November 15, 2004 - 12:43:36 PM by Klaitu

Well, awhile back I gave a list of my top 20 hottest chicks, so it's only fair that I give something back for the ladies. Goldberry has compiled a list of her top 20 hot men-types , and here it is!

• Nikki Sixx
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Rocker
  You'd know him from: Motley Crue
  
  
  
• Orlando Bloom
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Lord of the Rings
  
  
  
• Hugh Jackman
  Nationality: Austrailia
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: X-Men
  
  
  
• Josh Duhamel
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, Las Vegas
  
  
  
• Tommy Lee
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Rocker
  You'd know him from: Being Pamela Anderson's beau
  
  
  
• Justin Hawkins
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: TV Personality / Rocker
  You'd know him from: The Darkness
  
  
  
• Zakk Wilde
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Rocker
  You'd know him from: Black Label Society
  
  
  
• Owen Wilson
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Shanghai Noon, Zoolander
  
  
  
• Johnny Knoxville
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Men in Black 2, Jackass
  
  
  
• Vince Vaughn
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Anchorman, Zoolander, Old School
  
  
  
• Luke Wilson
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Charlie's Angels, Anchorman
  
  
  
• Bruce Campbell
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Spider-Man, Evil Dead, Serving Sara
  
  
  
• Edward Norton
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Fight Club, The Italian Job
  
  
  
• Harrison Ford
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Indiana Jones, Star Wars
  
  
  
• Viggo Mortensen
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: G.I. Jane, Hidalgo, Lord of the Rings
  
  
  
• Jagori Tanna
  Nationality: Unknown (assumed Canada)
  Profession: Rocker
  You'd know him from: I Mother Earth
  
  
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Donnie Darko, Bubble Boy
  
  
  
• Stephen Dorff
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Blade, I Shot Andy Warhol
  
  
  
• Jimmy Fallon
  Nationality: United States
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Saturday Night Live, Band of Brothers
  
  
  
• Billy Boyd
  Nationality: United Kingdom
  Profession: Actor
  You'd know him from: Lord of the Rings
  
  

War on Terror
Submitted Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 10:20:21 PM by Klaitu

Fark has had an unusual number of interesting links as of late, the most recent being some raw footage of our guys kickin butt in Iraq:

http://members.cox.net/macallan_the/falluja.asf

Don't worry, no body parts flying around or anything.. not that you can see anyways. There's also some tank action with them firing into buildings.

More G4 Controversy
Submitted Saturday, November 13, 2004 - 9:02:17 PM by Klaitu

Nobody cares about G4techTV anymore. You might recall that earlier this year, Comcast bought TechTV (formerly ZDnet) and merged their tech channel (tv4G) with Tech TV, creating G4techtv. Essentially, Comcast cancelled all of the old Tech TV shows, and supplanted them with G4 shows. At the time of the merger, only The Screen Savers, X-Play, and Unscrewed with Martin Sargent survived the cull.

Now, the only one left is X-play, which miraclously has survived and remains the most intelligent show on the whole entire network. They've canned the remainder of the personalities and shows from TechTV.

Not that this is a major loss, after retooling the shows they took over, they little resemble the quality they once had. So, long live X-play.

EA Games and the Tech Industry
Submitted Saturday, November 13, 2004 - 8:50:35 PM by Klaitu

The Devil has an article up about EA Games and their employees that I found interesting.

Yesterday, a blog entry from the spouse of a worker at Electronic Arts lashed out against the game giant. "The current mandatory hours are 9am to 10pm--seven days a week--with the occasional Saturday evening off for good behavior (at 6:30pm)," read the post, which went on to claim that EA employees receive no overtime, "comp" time, or additional vacation for their efforts.

Someone's Addicted to E-bay
Submitted Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 11:54:54 PM by Klaitu

Would you buy a 10 year old half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich? I know I wouldn't.. but someone would pay 2,000 bucks (at the time of this article) for it. Ouch.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5534052474&category=19270

Update: It's up to 15,000. I can't imagine any real person making a serious bid that high, especially considering the bid jumped by 4,000 with one guy. Technically, though, I don't see why it wouldn't be legal to sell a half-eaten grilled cheese with a face of Mary on it. I'm interested in seeing what happens.

Another update: The item you requested (5534052474) is invalid, still pending, or no longer in our database. I guess E-bay shut down the virgin Mary.

Shameless Survey
Submitted Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 4:59:43 PM by Klaitu

I wonder why people send me these things, but alright, I guess I'll go ahead and fill it out, because I'm freakin bored!

If any of you out there are bored, fill it out and put it over on the boards.. at least it's mildly interesting. We can't all steal a hamburglar.

FIRSTS:

First best friend: Drew (I can't remember his last name, strangely)

First car: 1980 Oldsmobile Delta 88, White

First date: 7th grade, I went to a Star Trek convention with Nichole Battles. She later was committed to a psych hospital.. I hope it wasn't me!

First screen name: spaceKadet B.. that was back when AOL was called Q-Link, and screen names hadn't been invented yet. I was 13.

First self purchased album: Information Society

First funeral: "Olive" was an elderly woman in a nursing home that my mom and I would visit regularly. She died in 1988, but I don't remember the funeral. The first funeral I remember was that of my maternal grandfather in November of 1990.

First pets: A Cocker Spaniel named Flash (after the Dukes of Hazzard dog) was ran over by a car in 1982. He was replaced by the originally named Flash II, who was ran over by a car in 1983.. later replaced by Flash III, a golden retriever.. ran over by a car also in 1983. I have cats now.

First tattoo: No tattoos!

First credit card: Never owned a credit card, just one debit card.

First enemy: No enemy is more insidious or invincible as your own dark side. Okay, its cheesy but true.

First musician you remember hearing in your house: Well, I don't know if he counts as a musician, but Donald Duck. I had a record (yep, a vinyl record) of disco music as sung by Disney characters. The Album was "Mickey Mouse Disco". The best song: "Macho Duck".

LASTS :

Last cigarette: Haven't even had a first one yet.

Last ride: 22 hours ago I went grocery shopping

Last kiss: Can't remember specifically, but it was Branwen

Last library book: The O'Reilly Factor for Kids

Last movie seen: In it's entirety, Anastasia, but I watched the majority of Pump Up The Volume more recently.

Last beverage drank: Sunkist Orange (12 oz)

Last food consumed: Cheez-um's Pringles

Last Crush: Branwen

Last phone call: Carson (but I got his wife, since Carson was at work)

Last shoes worn: My shoes, I only have one pair. State Steet brand, size 13, black.

Last cd played: An easier question: Last CD ripped into MP3's.. but last CD played would have to be Lifechurch High Octane Bootleg Volume 6.. not that it means anything to anyone!

Last item bought: My Grocery reciept indicates the answer to be "PUD SNAKS" in reference to my purchase of Jello Oreo Pudding Snacks yesterday.

Last annoyance: The death of Yassir Arafat interrupted my very first viewing of CSI: New York, so now I can't write a review on it because I missed half of the episode.

Last disappointment: World of Warcraft

Last shirt worn: Currently wearing a red t-shirt. Previously, it was an identical T-shirt, except it was blue.

Last website visited: Excluding Link fetching for this article, http://www.kultirasmarines.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=250

Last words you said: "Kitties, time for Din-Din!" I admit it, even though I probably just lost about 1000 cool points.

Last song you sang: I don't sing unless it's mandatory, and the last time it was mandatory was at my own high school graduation ceremony some 7 years ago.. I don't even remember the song, but it was a hymn. The last song I hummed was the cottenelle toilet paper song, which was stuck in my head this morning.

What color socks are you wearing: I'm not wearing any socks. I only wear them for Job Interviews, and I haven't had one of those for 67 days.

What color of underthings are you wearing?: Navy Blue

Whats under your bed?: About $300 worth of comics, a replica of a roman gladius, old VCR tapes, and probably a bottle of TUMS that I can never find when I need it.

What time did you wake up today?: 12:03PM Central

FUTURE :

Where do you want to go?: New York City, Washington DC, Ouray Colorado, Austrailia

What is your career going to be?: Obscure normal person

Where are you going to live?: Oklahoma

How many kids do you want?: Depends on how whacked out the first one is

What kind of car: Don't really care, probably a GM of some sort.

CURRENT :

Current mood: U2! The band. Other than that, bored.

Current music: U2! The band!

Current taste: Pringles Cheez-um's residue

Current clothes: Red T-shirt, Navy Boxers, Hair clip

Current longing: Technically, none. People with longings become impatient waiting for them.. but it could be Friday, at least I wouldn't be bored.

Current desktop picture: A cell shot from Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children.. it looks precisely like this.

Current favorite artist: Pat Benatar

Current book: The Book of Proverbs (the Bible one), chapter 8.

Current color of toenails: Hmm, now I'm beginning to think that guys aren't supposed to fill this out. Toenail status: au natural.

Current time wasting wish: I could go with a copy of Star Ocean 3, but I would settle for a really good movie. Unfortunately, I have neither.

Current hate: I'm not big on hate. I hate that I can't find my wallet anywhere, does that count?

My name is: Withheld for security purposes.

I may seem: Nerdy

But I'm really: Extremely Nerdy

Sometimes I feel: More or less Nerdy than usual.

In the morning I: Am never awake, but on those rare occasions where I am awake, I enjoy a good sunrise.

I like to sleep: um.. regularly?

One thing I wish I had is: A job

One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: An irresistable urge to eat Jello Pudding cups, even though I only have 6 and they have to last 5 more days.

Love is: Be more specific. The most accurate secular definition is: chosen affection toward something.

If I could see one person(s) right now: I would choose the person who wrote this question, because what is the reason for the (s) if the question stipulates only one? There isn't an eventuality that would require the plural!

Something I want but I don't really need is: A giant robot? There's probably a thousand things.

Something I need but I don't really want is: A haircut.

I live for: Woah, getting deep there. The simplest answer is that I live to fulfill the role I was born to fulfill.. not that failure isn't a possibility.

I am afraid of: The fact that I will outlive everyone in my family from an older generation.. and that's the best-case scenario.

The Hamburglar-burglar
Submitted Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 2:35:20 PM by Klaitu

I spotted this over on Fox News:

McDonald's famous Hamburglar was himself stolen, according to Niles, Ohio, police.

A Niles municipal judge on Oct. 18 sent the curious case of 49-year-old John Monteneri, accused of receiving stolen property, to a grand jury, reports the Tribune Chronicle of Warren, Ohio.

The manager of a Warren McDonald's said a man resembling Monteneri entered the restaurant at about 11 p.m. EDT Oct. 10, grabbed the six-foot-tall Hamburglar (search) statue and ran out with it.

McDonald's workers wrote down the license-plate number of the Hamburglar burglar's getaway car, but it turned out to be unnecessary.

That same night, cops responding to a domestic-violence call found a woman in Monteneri's home who said he'd punched her in the chest during an argument over stolen property.

She took police down to the basement, where the Hamburglar statue, worth $1,500, was discovered.

Erin Brockovich
Submitted Thursday, November 11, 2004 - 12:01:36 AM by Klaitu

You saw this movie, right? People in a small town are suffering from various medical conditions due to contaminated water. Brockovich goes to the scene and rescues the town, earning them big bucks. Supposedly, the movie is based on a true story.

It turns out that chromium-6, the stuff that contaminated the water, actually has no effect on humans whatsoever.. so while the "evil corporation" did, in fact, contaminate the water, the contamination meant absolutely nothing and in actuality, did not cause any medical problems for the residents who drank the water.

You know, when I first saw this movie, I had a inkling about this.. I found it odd that one material could cause such a wide-array of medical problems. Think of Radiation poisoning, for instance.. the symptoms of exposure to radiation are always the same.. why would exposure to chromium-6 result in all sorts of seemingly unrelated symptoms?

Apparently, a guy named Michael Fumento had the same questions, and got answers:

Erin Brockovich, which was No. 1 at the box office for a second week in a row, is a slick and enjoyable movie. The film tells the true story of Erin Brockovich, a legal assistant, who in 1993 lined up some 650 prospective plaintiffs from the tiny desert town of Hinkley, Calif., to sue Pacific Gas & Electric.

PG&E's nearby plant was leaching chromium 6, a rust inhibitor, into Hinkley's water supply, and the suit blamed the chemical for dozens of symptoms, ranging from nosebleeds to breast cancer, Hodgkin's disease, miscarriages and spinal deterioration. In 1996 PG&E settled the case for $333 million.

The problem is that no one agent could possibly have caused more than a handful of the symptoms described. Chromium 6 in the water almost certainly didn't cause any of them.

The Enviromental Protection Agency does consider chromium 6 a human carcinogen. But it's linked only to cancer of the lung and of the septum. Further, as one might guess from these two cancers, it's a carcinogen only when inhaled. Even then, research indicates it takes massive exposure over many years. What's more, "it appears the problem has been associated with production of the compounds, not the actual use," says William Blot, who heads the International Epidemiology Institute.

Here's what the EPA's Integrated Risk Information System, updated in 1998, says about chromium 6: "No data were located in the available literature that suggested that it is carcinogenic by the oral route of exposure."

Exhaustive, repeated studies of communities adjacent to landfills packed with chromium 6, including that detectable in residents' urine, have found no ill health effects, cancer or otherwise. A January report from Glasgow, Scotland, found "no increased risk of congenital abnormalities, lung cancer, or a range of other diseases." Earlier, a panel evaluating exposed residents near a New Jersey landfill estimated that "the plausible incremental cancer risk to individuals at residential sites would be substantially less than 1 in 1,000,000."

A study by Mr. Blot and others, just published in The Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, evaluated almost 52,000 workers who worked at three PG&E plants over a quarter of a century. One was the Hinkley plant, and another is near Kettleman, Calif., where Ms. Brockovich's firm is rounding up plaintiffs today. The researchers found cancer rates were no higher than in the general California population and death rates significantly lower than expected.

Other studies have shown that rodents dosed at 25 parts per million and dogs dosed at 11.2 parts per million displayed no ill effects. The amount of chromium 6 in Hinkley's water never got higher than 0.58 parts per million. As for miscarriages, the EPA reports that in studies of mice and rats, "the reproductive assessment indicated that administered at 15-400 ppm in the diet [it] is not a reproductive toxicant in either sex."

Given all this, why did PG&E cough up $333 million? For one thing, much of this medical evidence came in after the settlement. Further, Ms. Brockovich's small firm enlisted high-powered trial lawyer Thomas Girardi, a specialist in toxic pollution suits. Slick lawyers and sympathetic witnesses could have cost the company much more at trial or arbitration.

Now Ms. Brockovich's firm is representing some 1,500 other clients planning to sue PG&E. It's profitable work for the lawyers, who collected $133.6 million in fees from the 1996 settlement, while Ms. Brockovich herself collected a $2 million bonus. Unfortunately, to do so she had to convince thousands of people that they've been poisoned for decades and will continue to suffer for the rest of their lives. We now know the scientific evidence doesn't back her up.

24 Hours of World of Warcraft
Submitted Wednesday, November 10, 2004 - 3:01:27 PM by Klaitu

I've played so many MMORPG's that this sort of thing is an old habit. Is 24 hours enough time to fairly evaluate a game? You be the judge.

World of Warcraft is probably a game you've heard of. In the MMORPG world, it is only surpassed in hype by Star Wars Galaxies. Does WoW live up to that hype? Well, it's probably better to ignore it.

WoW plays just a little funky.. gone are the traditional means of interaction, replaced by the standard FPS style.. with asdw being your walking keys. If you want to talk, you have to hit enter first. It takes some serious getting used to, but in time, you'd learn that.

The game runs pretty smoothly. My crummy graphics card could run the game adequately, even at 1024 x 768 resolution. The graphic style is similar to the Warcraft series.. bright colors, blocky characters.

Chracter customization is woefully inadequate. It's better than Final Fantasy 11, but just barely. You can choose from 5 faces and 6 hairstyles. You can choose hair colors, and that's pretty much the extent of it.

The ability to customize your character after creation is nearly nonexistant. You cannot rehue clothing or armor, and everyone in the same class at the same level is wearing the same gear, because there's only one "best" set of armor.. why wear anything else?

Gameplay itself is standard fare. Click monster, sit around until monster dies, repeat a million times until you are the max level. There are quests, but they are "go to X place and get item" or "Go to X place and kill monster(s)" or "Go to X place, get item and bring it back to me". Nothing unique here.

The economic system is a little less contrived. You've got Gold, Silver, and Copper.. 100 copper is 1 silver.. 100 silver is 1 gold. Other than that, it works regularly. If someone gives you 3 silver and 70 copper, he's actually giving you 370 copper. The change is merely superficial.

Combat is slightly umbalanced, in the same way as Star Wars Galaxies was. You can't hunt on your own, as monsters are either too difficult, or way too easy. You can't always play with your friends, because their levels can be either too high or too low.

WoW uses a level based system for everything. Your character has a level, your weapons skills have levels.. even your abilities have levels. The numerical ranking of the game destroys any advantage given by the statistic. In other words, it's unneccessarily complicated and the system dosen't do anything but encourage people to grind until they can't achieve a higher level.

In so far as roleplay is concerned.. Blizzard has stacked the deck against roleplayers. Interaction with other players is done through a chat room. Players can't own structures. Emotes are more or less useless. There are tons of breaks with continuity (the female /dance animation is the macarena.. the male one is John Travolta's disco dance).

Then you have the bane of every MMO game, the other players. In WoW, you can jump.. which is pretty neat. What do you think everyone does? They jump constantly. It's like living in a world of rabbits, because no matter where people are going, their means of transport is continual jumping.

Probably the best asssement I can give for WoW: World of Warcraft is a medival Online RPG with PvP. It dosen't do anything unique or better than any of the other 10 medival online RPG's out there.

If you like medival online RPG's, I can't give you a reason to leave your already-established character and create a new one.

If you don't like medival online RPG's, you probably won't like this one either.

If you're a total warcraft freak, this game was made specifically for you.. except it's not RTS.

Personally, the fact that I played it for a day, and I can't bring myself to log in and try it again is a pretty big indicator that for me, it's a waste of money.

Overall Score: 4 of 10

More World of Warcraft
Submitted Tuesday, November 9, 2004 - 12:14:16 PM by Klaitu

Alright, so it's free until the 26th, so I figured I had nothing to lose by trying it out.

I predict that World of Warcraft will win at least one award: Longest installation time EVER!

I'm not talking about the download, which took 12 hours.. I'm talking the actual installation phase, which is now up to 83 minutes. Sheesh!

I'll give y'all a review after I check it out!

Contact
Submitted Tuesday, November 9, 2004 - 2:30:22 AM by Klaitu

A better title: "Why does Contact suck so freaking bad?"

The premise sounds interesting. Mankind recieves a signal from space containing the blueprints to a mysterious machine.. and admittedly, there is some pretty neat exposition in the movie, particularly when they are decoding the alien transmission.

The original story was written by Carl Sagan, and I have never read it.. in part because I am not a Sagan fan, and in part because of the Contact movie, which I believe is perhaps the worst movie ever made. If you haven't seen the movie, don't bother. If you have seen it, you have my sympathy.

Reason number one:

Jodi Foster is the main character. I don't particularly like her as an actress, but she does alright. When she is a little girl, she spends time with her father. In a dramatic turn of events, her father dies, which leaves an emotional scar.

Now, here's where it gets stupid.

Jodi Foster devotes her entire life to the search for extra terrestrial intelligence in order to find her father. As if he somehow got shot into space and put on an alien world. I could buy this line if it was a child, but no.. Jodi Foster is like 35.. and what's more she's a trained scientist.

Reason number two:

Matthew McConaughey is passed off as a priest, or at the very least a spiritual advisor. He walks around somewhat mysterious-like and says idiotic lines like "This is obviously a message from God".

He must be a priest from the "space God" cult, because I've never heard anything about God living in space unless it also involved drinking poisoned kool-aid and wearing clean sneakers.

In other words, Matthew McConaughey as a priest has zero credibility (but is a pretty strong indicator, since all Matthew McConaughey films ever made suck).

Reason number three:

The film devotes a serious amount of time to what "religious people would do" in the event that a message came in from an alien culture. In it, you are treated to black choirs out in the desert near the VL Antenna trying to get their message out to God. You get to see cultists and extremists worshipping plastic alien heads.

The movie assumes that a message from space would somehow negate all world religions, and turn all the followers into religious zealots bent on destroying the scientist's all-important work of building the great machine that they don't know what it does.

The problem with this assumption is that it is patently false.

Reason number four:

The film makes the statement (several times) that science and religion cannot co-exist because they are exact polar opposites. It does this in a broad and stereotypical way, detailing the science aspect very well, and glossing over the religious aspect.

In reality, most religions either operate with science (Major Religions) or operate independant of science (Cults, Scientology, etc). In neither case is there a particularly strong desire to destroy science.

Reason number five:

When Jodi Foster does take a trip in the great mystery machine, she finds her dad, rather an alien that looks just like her dad. This is, quite possibly, the stupidest plot device I have ever seen.

Personal reasoning:

I have a lot more problems with Contact than a dry dissertation on the film's discrepancies can provide. I have very personal reasons why I think this movie blows chunks.

As a Christian, I encounter a lot of illogical and just plain silly assertions about what people think they know about Christianity. This movie is as if all those people got together, made up some stuff about Christianity, and threw it on the screen without doing any research whatsoever.

They might just as well have made a movie where Mexicans steal bicycles, or black people eat chicken and listen to rap music.

Firstly, science and Christianity never conflict, ever. This is really quite a simple concept, because Christians believe that God created everything, including the very phenomena that scientists study.

A radio message from space? All that means is that God created aliens too, and we just now discovered them. The revelation of extraterrestrials would be a big deal to everyone, including Christians.. but it my no means is contradictory to anything.

Secondly, half of science is based on faith, so the use of faith should not be suprising to athiest scientists. Science teaches that you come up with a theory, then you work on proving that theory. In other words, you imagine that something happened, and then set out to see if what you imagined was correct.

A great example of this is the theory of evolution. In public schools today it is taught as fact, as if we actually can prove scientifically what happened, and how life on earth came to be.

In popular culture, this made it onto the popular show Friends, where a paleontologist (Ross Gellar) says, "How can you not believe in evolution? That's like not believing in gravity!" While the character is a paleontologist and probably legitimately feels that way, there is a HUGE difference between evolution and gravity.

Gravity is a law.
Evolution is a theory.

I'd argue that believing in Evolution requires more faith than believing in Christianity because of one simple fact: Evolution was disproven within 120 years of being put forth. Christianity has been going for over 2000 years and has yet to be disproven.

Why, then, should scientists have such a problem with understanding faith and spiritual matters? The answer is that they don't, they merely have a political agenda based on what they personally believe.. which isn't science at all.


In the end, I wish people would get a clue about the world around them. I don't mean to say they should be forced to believe in anything, but one would think that they would at least know the basic tenets of the western hemisphere's most popular religions.

P.S. While I'm here, lemme clear up some other frustrating concepts:

- "The Cross" has no spiritual power or significance in and of itself. It's two hunks of wood that are used as a method of execution, nothing more. The existance of crucifixes (little crosses used for decoration) is a traditional reminder of what happened on one particular cross.

- Santa Claus is not part of the Christian faith.. so if you're Jewish, you don't have to be offended by Santa hats.. honest! He's just a well-meaning philanthropist who died and is remembered today for what he did.

Halo 2
Submitted Monday, November 8, 2004 - 10:15:18 PM by Klaitu

Halo 2!

Halo 2!

Halo 2!

That's all I hear from anybody in the gaming world. "Halo 2 will be so great!"

I dunno, maybe it's just not in my blood.. but spending hours upon hours trying to avoid being killed by my own team just isn't fun for me.

I can certainly see the potential for fun in such a game, I mean.. if you knew 30 people and were able to get all of them in one place at one time playing Halo.. yeah, it would be fun. Instead, it's just mass chaos that is meaningless because the game requires little or no skill.

Of course, I'm talking about the first Halo here, not the second. It's hard to imagine the second incarnation will improve human nature and eliminate all those wankers that nobody can stand.

Aside from that, it's a first person shooter. I want to do something new.. I mean, I've pointed my gun at aliens and shot them before. Do I really need or want to do this over again with different backgrounds, and perhaps new weapons?

I'm just not excited about the Halo 2 development, and I have no idea why such a mediocre game can cause EBgames to be overwhelmed. Then again, I don't get the appeal of Madden either.

Good and Bad Stargate News
Submitted Monday, November 8, 2004 - 8:38:13 PM by Klaitu

Here's the good news:

Stargate SG-1 has been picked up for a 9th season!

Here's the bad news:

Richard Dean Anderson will only appear in 4 of the 22 episodes. Amanda Tapping is pregnant, and will not appear in the first few episodes of season 9.

That leaves Daniel Jackson and Teal'c to hold the ball of the entire franchise..

I'm glad it's back, but.. well.. I'm not really sure it should come back. I hope it dosen't run into the ground.

A Real News Article (from Japan)
Submitted Monday, November 8, 2004 - 3:59:39 PM by Klaitu

I once knew this guy named Basil. He was crazy for the asian persuasion. He once told me that he wanted to move to Japan, because let's face it.. if you like asian chicks, there's a whole ton of them in Japan.

Well, Basil, if you're still reading, that omen you've been waiting for has finally come. You can now become a self-trained love-making specialist! Basically, all you have to do is pimp out guys instead of chicks.

If you're lucky, you might even get to be a male prostitu... err.. I mean "sex volunteer" to some lonely Japanese housewife whos husband regards her as a sister!

Man, someone needs to take that crack away from the Japanese.

TOKYO - Craving sex after repeated rejection by their partners, women who felt doomed to join Japan's growing ranks of the "sexless" are being offered a prescription: a squad of well-dressed men ready to assist free of charge.

The unique counselling service was launched four years ago in the outskirts of Tokyo by celebrated sexologist Kim Myong Gan, drawing sex-starved women who found little satisfaction from textbook advice, sleeping pills and other medication.

The 54-year-old Kim, a self-trained love-making specialist, beams with positive chi energy from working out and eating healthy. He says he showers his clients with praise for their good looks and personality, reassuring them that their sex lives are far from over.

He then recommends a powerful remedy: free soul-healing conversation and passionate sex with a mature man of the woman's choice from a pool of 25 volunteers.

The men, aged 36 to 60 and based in four Japanese cities, dress in suits and sometimes are trying to meet their own sexual needs, such as one volunteer who is taking care of his bed-ridden wife.

Kim encourages safe sex but beyond that does not interfere with the romance between his "healers" and patients.

Kim calls the treatment a temporary fix but also a crucial first step towards a woman regaining confidence.

"Japanese women are too patient about the void in their sex lives while their male counterparts are too immature about loving their partners," Kim told AFP.

Kim explained that many Japanese men soon after marriage start regarding their wives as a mother or sister -- too close to have sex with. And their wives tend to accept it, observing how their fathers treated their mothers.

"It's something that has been handed down through generations here," Kim said.

Despite Japan's image as a promiscuous country awash with open pornography, the Japanese are among the world's least sexually active people, according to a recent survey by condom manufacturer Durex.

The Japanese have only 46 sexual encounters on average each year, compared with 79 for the Hong Kong Chinese and Singaporeans, 82 for Indians, 90 for mainland Chinese and a whopping 137 for the French.

It has long been taboo to discuss one's sexual problems openly in Japan. But many distressed Japanese women, and some men, are breaking the trend, encouraged by Internet chatrooms and media reports on so-called "sexless couples".

The term was coined by psychiatrist Teruo Abe 13 years ago about couples having no sensual contact, not even cuddling or kissing, for more than a month and unlikely to have any sex in the future.

"I wonder where mens sex drive has gone," Abe, who runs a counselling clinic in Urayasu, east of Tokyo, told AFP. "A surprising number of cases dont even masturbate for a month or two while not having sex with their partners."

Tomomi, 36, thinks she is a victim of the phenomenon.

She felt humiliated every time her husband, 38, refused to do what "normal" couples do in bed. His excuses were always that he was tired from too much work, that she looked like a little sister or that their apartment was too cramped.

After only sporadic intercourse during their three-year marriage, Tomomi warned him that having no sex for six months could lead to divorce. The reluctant husband agreed to meet her for a "date" at a hotel room.

"The result was miserable. The whole thing lasted for only five minutes with no foreplay, as in the past. It just hurt me physically and mentally," recalled Tomomi.

Tears trickled down Tomomi's cheeks as she listened to Kim's straight-forward but warm-hearted speech saying it was normal to seek a sex life and that she was not alone.

Kim's service includes an initial 90-minute session that costs 20,000 yen (189 dollars) plus free telephone counseling for three months and visits to his "field hospital". Many women, some of them virgins approaching middle age, immediately seek the help of a sex volunteer.

Before Tomomi could enlist a volunteer, she started looking around and met a "soul mate", a mature man in his 40s who she says is a good listener and passionate lover.

Kim endorses finding a sex life even in the form of an extramarital relationship, like Tomomi's. Saving a shattered social contract is not high on his agenda. Born in Japan to Korean parents and raised here, Kim was forced by law to declare his Korean nationality and relinquish his Japanese citizenship when he was a toddler.

In contrast, Abe, a medical doctor, said his aim was to save marriages endangered by a lack of sex. He often prescribes anti-depressants and Viagra, but he acknowledged the cure rate was only 30 percent.

Japanese media speculate the nation's slumping sex drive could be caused by environmental pollution and growing exposure to electromagnetic fields through mobile phones and power lines that sends sperm counts plunging.

But Abe noted that the men disinterested in sex have busy work schedules and are sleep-deprived and complain they have no time for any hobbies.

"The best medicine would be a weeklong holiday on a southern island," he said.

For Hiromi Ikeuchi, a marriage consultant who heads the psychiatric and legal counselling group Tokyo Family Lab, Japanese woman are often themselves immature and demand perfection from their partners.

Japan's divorce rate has shot up to 2.3 for every 1,000 people in 2002 from 1.4 a decade earlier. Ikeuchi has seen a flurry of divorces by women who cheated on husbands they claim were unable to satisfy them sexually.

"It's castration of sons by their mothers," Ikeuchi said. "It's a curse from those mothers in unhappy marriages who wanted their boys to grow up being nice and attentive to what women have to say."

Kim cautions that not having sex for a while is not the same as being "sexless".

"I sometimes don't have sex with my wife for a few months, but I wake her up with aroma oil foot massage to the music of Chopin every morning," said the counsellor. "There is a difference between being sexless and being off sex."

Marine Corps Kicks Butt, Takes Names
Submitted Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 10:18:08 PM by Klaitu

Ads and commercials are a hobby of mine.. a screwed up hobby, but a hobby nonetheless.

About a month ago, I was watching late night TV and saw the all-new Marine corps ad. Usually, the Marines run the old ads, either with the marine playing battlechess with monsters, or the one with the marine climbing a giant mountain. This new one stomps those out of existance.

In fact, I like it better than the "accelerate your life" Navy ads and the "army of one" ads.. and it's for sure better than the "we've been waiting for you" Air Force ones.

You can check it out at http://www.agencypreview.com/collection/freshstuff/reel_detail2.asp?ID=33309&TDI=VDUldCTz&PAGE=15&BSHOP=&ta=4333

It's free, but you have to register for the site. This commerical is worth the registration. It's pretty keen!

A New Quantum Leap?
Submitted Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 3:49:02 PM by Klaitu

One of the most amazing TV series in the history of television, in my opinion, was Quantum Leap. It combined the future with nostalgia from the past. It was sci-fi, but the stories were not technical. It was, quite simply, a masterpiece of television design.

And now it's back.

A Bold Leap Forward is supposedly a new Quantum Leap miniseries with the potential to spawn into a spinoff in it's own right.

11 years after the first series, Sam Beckett is leaping alone. Al has lost contact, and has been on a quest to find Sam ever since. He eventually is able to reestablish contact briefly, and afterwards decides that the only way to retrieve Sam is to send someone else back in time, hot on his trail.. that would be Sam's daughter.

Compelling idea. The show is set to begin production in January, which probably indicates a fall 2005 release. I know I'm looking forward to it!

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Submitted Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 1:58:30 PM by Klaitu

First, there was Grand Theft Auto 3. It took the PS2 by storm, and everyone except overwound parents loved it.

Then, there was Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. It also took the PS2 by storm, and parents more or less ignored it.. perhaps because they couldn't tell the difference between it and its predecessor.

Now, there's Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.. safely taking the PS2 by storm once again, and riling up parents all over again.

San Andreas takes place in.. well.. San Andreas. It's a mythical state.. yep, a STATE. Instead of a city, you've got 3 cities (and a bunch of smaller towns) to explore. The land area is 5 times the size of Vice City.

The game is set in 1992. Whereas GTA3 was much like "Goodfellas", and Vice City was an homage to "Scarface", San Andreas is much like "Boys N the Hood". You play Carl Johnson, a black dude who escaped the hood to Liberty City, but has now returned due to the death of his mother. Along the way he gets sucked into a web of crime through a corrupt police officer, voiced by none other than Samuel L. Jackson.

One of the most popular features of the GTA series (even since GTA 1 and 2) is the radio channels. San Andreas is no exception here, and has the more radio stations than any previous game. The radio system is dynamic, meaning that songs and commercials are dynamic, and won't neccessarily appear in the same play order each time you tune in.

Additionally, things that you do often affect radio broadcasts, particularly the news. If you do something big, you'll hear about your own exploits on the radio. It's a very cool feature.

Unfortunately, there are only a few songs that are actually good. There's tons of rap, and Snoop Dogg is a radio DJ. Other than rap, there's rock, alternative, country, talk radio, and house. You'll hear some Boyz II Men, you'll hear some TLC (never gonna get it), and if you listen to Master Sounds, you'll hear the original version of Tainted Love, which is probably the best song in the game.

More than radio stations, San Andreas sports other features as well. They've taken RPG elements and thrown them into the mix. If you use a pistol a lot, you will gain pistol experience, which results in you being able to shoot farther and more accurately. If you max it out, you get to carry two pistols at once, which is pretty cool.

There's also a bunch of stats that determine important things. You can work out at the gym and eventually become a huge hulking dude.. or you can hang out at "Cluckin Bell" and become a huge fat dude. Your decisions affect which paths your character can take through the story, which is wicked cool.

There is, however, a serious downside to all of this. More than one, actually. Rockstar Games, the publisher, sent out tons of defective games. If you get one of these "gems" you'll find that your PS2 will still play the game, but completely freak out while doing it.

Assuming you got one of the correctly pressed DVD's, you're going to experience load freezes, game lockups, and save corruption due to improper beta testing of the software. As always, you can't patch a console game.

Aside from those glitches, San Andreas is actually a pretty engaging game. It carries the M rating for a very good reason, it is simply not appropriate for kids, especially kids in the 13-16 range (who LOVE this game because it seems "more adult").

Controversial? Meh, there's nothing here that's worse than an R rated movie. The "controversial stuff" is all the same as it was back in the days of GTA3.

Overall Score: 8 of 10

The Horror!
Submitted Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 1:27:35 PM by Klaitu

This wouldn't be so funny, except this exact same thing happened to me with Final Fantasy X.

Thank You, Ohio
Submitted Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 1:23:44 PM by Klaitu

We all know what happens when Florida encounters a close election: they spend weeks recounting the ballots. What happens when Ohio is the new Florida? It kicks butt and takes names.

Bush got 2,794,329 votes while Kerry only got 2,658,108. In a remarkable turn of events, Kerry's lawyers didn't try to dig up the 150,000 votes needed like Gore's lawyers did 4 years ago.

I suspect that, as in Florida, when the military ballots and absentee ballots come in that the Bush lead will widen.

Um.. Almost San Andreas
Submitted Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 1:06:39 PM by Klaitu

I'm going to review Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, but I haven't beaten it yet. This game is taking forever.. it's like Final Fantasy length, except that it's GTA. The review will be favorable, for sure.. I'm just not sure to what extent.

Until then, hold your breath!

Election Day
Submitted Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - 12:59:37 PM by Klaitu

It's finally here! The day when the stupid political ads cease and the actual elections begin! Aren't you excited? I know I am! (not)