The World Without Taste
Submitted Friday, October 19, 2007 - 2:22:04 PM by Klaitu
It all started with tacos. Every schoolkid knows tacos are delicious, and these tacos were no exception. I sat down with my tacos and began to watch Star Trek.
About halfway through, the tacos started to taste a little off. I thought there was something wrong with the cheese, but it smelled fine. I finished them off without incident.
The next day, before I went to work I tried some orange Jello. Orange jello is also delicious, or so I thought. This jello didn't taste very good. It felt slimy and cold. It seemed to me that the jello must have beena bad batch, as it wasn't particularly refreshing. I decided to pick up some Wendy's before work.
I ordered a Root beer with my Baconator combo. As I sipped on the rootbeer, it dawned on me. Drinking the root beer was like drinking water. It had no real taste, but I could feel that it was cold and bubbly. The french fries and hamburger were a similar experience. They all smelled just fine, I just couldn't taste them.
I had a mystery on my hands, but not very much time. I had to get to work. I drunk a lot of water at work, which was somewhat comforting, as the experience was just as I had expected it to be. I worked 10 hours that day, and about 8 hours into it, my eyes began to feel really itchy and red. they felt dry. That's when I realized that I hadn't been closing my right eye. I furthermore discovered that I couldn't actually close my right eye, even when I tried to.
I thought that was pretty odd.
On the drive home I got to thinking about it. If my right eye didn't work, then why wasnt the whole side of my face affected. I tried to whistle, but I couldn't.. the right side of my mouth didn't move right.
When I got home, I talked to my mom. I don't have a lot of experience with partial facial paralysis, so I figured if anyone knew, it would be her. She came up a blank.. but my dad had an idea.
"There are only two things I know that cause that" he said "Bell's Palsy and a stroke" He recommended we go to the Emergency Room to find out about the stroke part.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that I'm not someone who has emergencies. I've been to the emergency room plenty of times as a visitor, but never as a patient. I was wary about going. My internal Mr. Spock told me that this was the most logical course of action, and so I agreed to go and we all climbed into the car at 2 am.
Aside from not having emergencies, I also havent seen a doctor in about 15 years. I haven't had a shot or a needle of any kind under my skin since the 5th grade. I hate needles. In fact, needles are probably the only one and true fear that I have. Just writing about them is giving me the willies.
And if you think my fear of needles is bad, I know what they do at a hospital.. they stick a freaking tube in there.. and they leave it in. No thank you, don't want any part of that.
Nevertheless, I needed to find out why half my face wasn't working. I found myself lamenting living in our primitive society that still uses needles. Would someone invent the tricorder already?
Now, there are several hospitals in town. I've been to the emergency rooms of most of them over the years, but we went to a hospital called Mercy Hospital. It was the closest one, and it's in an affluent zone in the city. Most importantly, my insurance supports them.
This ER experience was unlike anything I had ever seen before. There were no lines, no guys bleeding all over the floor. No guys hacking up lungs, vomiting, or leaking othher fluids. In fact, The whole place was empty. It was just me, my folks, and the receptionist. I was admitted to the ER within a minute, so fast that I didn't have time to fill out the papers they gave me.
They made me sit on one of them mobile hospital beds. It wasn't very comfortable. They too my temperature, and tehn they put one of those blood pressure cuffs around my arm. Most people don't think of that as a big deal, but it just reminded me that the tube in my arm was coming.. that and my blood pressure hasn't been taken since the 20th century.
My blood pressure checked out okay. It was the same as my moms, sne said.. Everyone laughed at me because I was so nervous about having a tube in my arm. See, my mom has hypertension. Her blood pressure is through the roof. So was mine.
The nurses left without putting a tube in my arm. I was okay with that, but it meant I had to sit there and obsess over them putting it in. We waited for maybe a half hour in my little ER bay, number 11. There were other patients we could hear who were moaning and vomiting. I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that at least I wasn't in any pain.. except the pain from that freaking tube they were gonna put in my arm!
The doctor came in, and pasically pwned my diagnosis. He diagnosed me with Bell's Palsy, which is when a nerve gets inflamed and blocks off certain impulses to the brain. It also explains my loss of taste. He gave me some prescriptions and sent me on my way.. without sticking a tube in my arm.
Everyone agreed that I had perhaps the most luckiest ER visit ever. No needles, fast diagnosis, and a ride in a wheelchair. All this for $50. Of course, the medicine was another $70. Far cheaper than I had expected to pay.
With a clear understanding of what was making me look like igor, I slept soundly that night.. but that's not where the story ends.
Overnight, the problem got worse, and I lost even more control of my face. When I talked I sounded like a drunk Louie Anderson.. and I drolled everywhere.. just like a drunk Louie Anderson. The sensation was quite odd.
So, my face is still jacked up as I write this, and I'm still drooling a little bit. Fortunately, I can manage to control my eyelid now to close my eye.. and half my tongue appears to have regained its taste.
Still, everyday things are weird. Ever try to brush your teeth when your lips wont close? It's an experience. Ever used Listerine and felt nothing but water? That was pretty cool.
Perhaps the strangest thing is that I am not numb in any way. Aside from not being able to taste, my skin can still sense touch and hot and cold, and so can my tongue. It is a unique experience.
Anyways, I thought I would share my story, just because I felt like writing about it.