October 2004

VICTORY!
Submitted Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 10:16:34 PM by Klaitu

Have you heard about the dreaded PS2 Disc Read Error? Well, you're about to!

When the PS2 was originally marketed, it was marketed like a monolith.. standing upright like a great black mystery and possibly able to turn Europa into a star.. but that's another story.

Well, stupid people (like me) decided that the PS2 does indeed look cooler when standing on-end like a monolith.. and being that we stupid people refuse to pay 30 bucks for the appropriate vertical stand, we just set it on end without the stand.. it works pretty good, until your cat decides to rub up against it becasue it's warm in the middle of winter.. or your mom trips over the cord because it's only been in the same place for 2 years and she still thinks of it as a temporary device.

The resounding thud the ps2 creates when it hits the ground has a tendency to dislodge the laser calibration gear.

What the heck is a laser calibration gear? I know you don't care, but you're gonna find out anyways!

In order for that wond'rous PS2 to work properly, it's got to focus the laser onto the disc.. sort of like burning ants with a magnifying glass.. you adjust the glass until you get a focussed beam. Your playstation works kinda the same way, except instead of ants, it's just trying to shoot the disc in the right place.

Now, if you're like me, and you got the dreaded "disc read error", chances are you're hearing some mysterious clickin' and whirrin' from within the machine. That clickety clickety is the sound of the laser calibration gear trying to focus the laser onto your disc.. If you're hearing the clickety sound, your PS2 will probably work for awhile, albeit slowly and noisily, but eventually, one day, you're gonna put a disc in there and all it's gonna do is click and whirr and come up with "disc read error".

Hey, it happened to me. Lucky for me I read something about this kind of problem before it happened, and I knew that there was a fix for it.. and it's simpler than you might think. Here's what you do:

First thing, you want to tell your PS2 to fix itself.. if it can.

1. Power on the PS2 by pressing the EJECT button. This will bring you to the PS2 OS screen with swirlin light balls with options "Browser" and "System Configuration".

2. Press Triangle, this will bring up all sorts of options.

3. Go up to "console" and hit Triangle again.

4. Turn Diagnosis on by hitting X and then selecting on.

5. TAP the power button for a reset, don't worry about the tray being out, it will retract when the system resets.

6. Wait. You're going to hear a lot of clickin and whirring.. it'll sound just like when your system was broken.. this time, though, you've told the PS2 to systematically go through all the settings for the Laser Calibration Gear and find the one that works.

7. Eventually, the system will proceed to do what it's supposed to. (start the game, play the DVD, whatever you have in there). You shouldn't hear any clicking and whirring.

Now, if that dosen't fix your PS2 problem, there is a way you can screw with the Laser Calibration Gear manually. This takes forever, and should be completely unneccessary.. but if you're like me you'll end up doing it anyways.

For detailed Step-by-step instructions, check out this article: http://www.g4techtv.com/xp...Fix_pg1.html

What they don't tell you is that the interior Disc Lid screws unscrew backwards for some reason (probably because of some Japanese thing). While you're in there, I recommend you clean your laser lens with some rubbing alcohol and a Q-tip.

In my case, my gear appeared to be stuck between two settings, so I unstuck it and ran that diagnosis thing again, and it worked just fine the second time around.

By the way, if you take your PS2 apart, you're going to void your warranty.. but if you have this problem, your warranty probably already expired anyways.

All versions of the "big" PS2 console are susceptible to the dreaded disc read error, though seemingly the older consoles are more prone. My console is version 7. The latest is version 9.

If you need to determine your PS2 version, check this site out.. there's some really weird ways of doin it: http://www.whitedog.co.uk/ps2-version.shtml

Now, I'm going to play GTA San Andreas

There's Something Wrong with Obi-Wan
Submitted Wednesday, October 27, 2004 - 3:20:41 PM by Klaitu

I'm not sure what it is, but it looks to be a serious problem. He needs to see a doctor, or hang out in a giant Bacta tank or something, because that's not good.

Quit Callin Mah house!
Submitted Tuesday, October 26, 2004 - 2:02:42 PM by Klaitu

While I was writing that article below about Providence and how cheesy it is, I had to stop 5 times to get up and answer the phone. 5 times. Who was it?

It was politicians. Every single call was an automated politician call. "Hi, I'm representative so-and-so". "Please hold for an important announcement from (insert name here)". For the past month I've been getting maybe 3 or 4 a day from the same two guys.

A little note to SENATOR BRAD CARSON:
Hey, dude, I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN YOUR CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT, I can't vote for you even if I wanted to. Aside from that, you support partial birth abortion, which means you have zero chance of getting a vote from me. Stop calling!

A little note to his opponent, TOM COBURN:
Coincidentally, I DON'T LIVE IN YOUR DISTRICT EITHER! You're trying for Oklahoma Congressional District 2, which is TULSA and eastern Oklahoma.. but putting that aside for a moment, all you do is attack Brad Carson (and call me with a recording over and over). Your issues are good, but you need to tell people what those issues are instead of telling me how bad Carson is. If I lived in your district, I wouldn't vote for either of you, so shut up and leave me alone!

Everyone knows that politicians suck, most of the time you can just let them suck by themselves.. but election time they just have to come and show you how sucky they really are. *sigh*

It's getting to the point where I don't really care who wins, so long as we get this thing over with.. and I hope they don't take 3 months to decide who won like last time too.

Oh, and while I'm ranting, nobody cares about Scott Peterson or his trial, so you can stop telling me about it now.

I Need to Share
Submitted Tuesday, October 26, 2004 - 1:43:45 PM by Klaitu

Alright, you saw earlier in "Sneaky TV" how I had been secretly watching Providence.. which is best categorized as a serious hour-long drama with moments of sheer ridiculousness. Last night was no exception.. check this out..

Mike Farrell has a puppy.. he's had it for like the last 20 episodes or something.. but it turns out that this dog is naturally good at sniffing out drugs. The dog is unhappy most of the time because he is "unable to fulfill his pull potential". So, Farrell decides to go ahead and loan him out to the police to test his drug sniffin potential.

So, the dog is out at the airport and sniffs some drugs, so much drugs that the mob is upset about the whole ordeal, so get this.. the mob orders a hit.. on the dog!

Oh, it gets better.

The first attempt to kill the dog is with poison. Since Mike Farrell is a vet, this gives his character something to do for awhile, and eventually the dog recovers, but is still depressed. Farrell calls in the dog's brother, and the two play together. Unbeknownst to them, a mob hitman is watching.. since there are two identical dogs, he dosen't know which one to shoot.. so instead of shooting both of them, he just waits.

So, later that night Farrell is walking the dog when an ominous car comes alongside. The tinted window rolls down, exposing the barrel of a pistol.. Farrell sees this, and as he does everything goes into slow mo. He valiantly pushes his pastey old white body in the path of the bullet (screaming "nooooooooo" in slow mo). His family hears the gunshot and rushes outside to find the dog completely unharmed, but their dad has been shot in the head!

This is perhaps the funniest thing I have seen on TV in at least a month. I laughed for probably 15 minutes afterward.. it was extremely cheesy, especially since the other plot was about how a drug company was trying to put pressure on a congressman because he's having an affair with Melina Kanakaredes. The show went from seriously heavy to seriously cheesy in a little under 2 seconds.

Of course, you probably had to be there, but for me, it made my week!

Milli Vanilli
Submitted Tuesday, October 26, 2004 - 1:23:16 PM by Klaitu

If you are totally unhip and not cool like me, then you have no idea who "Ashlee Simpson" is, or why she spells her name incorrectly, and the rest of you cool people out there that do know who she is probably already know that she screwed up a lip synch on SNL last week.

Again, to my nerd friends, "Ashlee" Simpson is a pop star, not unlike Britney Spears.. only worse (if you can imagine that). She was cranking out "a tune" when suddenly *gasp* her mouth wasn't moving to the music!

I didn't really catch onto this embarassing story until I read GB's site about it. She was really ecstatic about it.

At any rate, if you missed it because SNL sucks ever since Ferrel left, check out this link, they have it online: http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2654002?ifilmp=99

Space Channel 5 Special Edition
Submitted Monday, October 25, 2004 - 2:24:49 PM by Klaitu

Oh, my friends, what a gem hath I found in the bargain bin at Target. You see, my sister is a fan of music match games. Games like Bust a Groove, Parappa the Rapper, and Um Jammer Lammy. Space Channel 5 is a game in that same vein, except it was for dreamcast. They came out with a PS2 version a long time ago, and they came out with a Japanese sequel for it on PS2 as well.

I had been trying to obtain a copy from ebay for the longest time, but I could never find anything in my price range. It appears that Space Channel 5 for PS2 is rare, and the sequel is in Japanese, so that's hardly of any use to me whatsoever.

So, I'm browsing through my local Target superstore, awed and amazed that Wal-Mart hasn't slaughtered their business (they are, after all, the exact same store with different decor). On the way through the check out for my D-day 60 year anniversary edition of Saving Private Ryan I spy it!

Space Channel 5 Special Edition for $9.99! The Special Edition contains the original Space Channel 5 and an english version of the hard to find sequel! It was all I could do to resist the urge to pee!

So, after some hours my sister finally arrives home from a long day of radio DJ'ing, and we pop this baby in and play. Lemme tell ya, this thing really IS a gem in the bargain bin!

You play the part of Ulala, a reporter for Space Channel 5. It appears that aliens are attacking the local space port and forcing everyone to dance! (oh no!) It's all good, though, because Ulala can resist their dance-o-beam by repeating the aliens actions. Strikingly, she can also rescue hostages this way, who are so grateful that they will dance alongside you like a Michael Jackson video!

Speaking of Michael Jackson.. he's in it! Rather, his alter-ego.. Space Michael. Yes, that's right.. you can get Space Michael in your dance crowd, and lookout badguys.. you're about to be "Hooed" to death.

The game gets more difficult near the end with special rules.. like you have to perform the exact opposite of your opponents, or you have to remember a dance step with like 17 or 18 moves. The last level is almost impossible, only allowing you to screw up once.

In simplest terms, the game play is like simon says. The aliens say "Down up left left right shoot shoot" and then you have to push that combination in that order in conjunction with the music. As simple as that sounds, it gets hairy in some parts, especially during some of the heavier dance fights.

Space Channel 5 part 2, is best described as "Space Channel 5 part 1.. only better". Graphics are better, the characters are more responsive, and there's not just dancing.. there's playing musical instruments and singing that you have to repeat as well. Part 2 is nowhere near as difficult as part 1, but is longer, and is really hard in a few very specific places. Part 2 focusses more on longer combinations that you have to remember than it does on the very very fast input of codes the first one is so fond of.

Part 2 also lets you choose outfits, and even has a rudimentary two player mode which makes the game way harder, because one person does half the controls, and the other person does the other half. Oh, and in case you were wondering.. Space Michael is in part 2 a lot more than he was in part 1. He even helps you fight evil robots with his manly soprano voice.. not to mention that once you get him, it adds all sorts of his traditional dance moves to your lineup.

A lot of what makes Space Channel 5 so great is the style of it. The game is just fun to play and watch, and the music is light-hearted and fun to listen to.. especially in part 2. It's fun to play on your own, and it would be a total blast at a party.

Overall Score: 8 of 10

Return of the King, The Game
Submitted Monday, October 25, 2004 - 2:01:41 PM by Klaitu

So, I went to Blockbuster to rent something extra special. I had my eye on Shadow Hearts Covenant, and my backup was Sly Cooper 2. Turns out, they were all checked out, and when I say all, I mean "all 1 of them".

Allow me to rant for a moment. Why in the world would you have 5 copies of "Return of the King" (which is over a year old) and only have 1 copy of something like Sly Cooper? That's insane! These Blockbuster people are clueless as to what people are going to rent, apparently.

Anyway, Return of the King. I'm not a ginormous Tolkien fan like some people I know, in fact I really don't like the first two LOTR movies all that much because they get played ALL THE TIME around here. Fortunately for me, the Return of the King Special Edition isn't out yet, or I'd be tortured by it as well.

The game does a pretty good job of meshing the film with the gameplay. They went to the effort of getting the proper voice actors to come in and record some original content for the game, which was nice. The motions of the characters appears to have been motion captured by the actors themselves, perhaps using data from the special effects guys who made the films. Aragorn in particular runs like the real Viggo. Graphics are decent.. not super-spectacular, but this is an EA game after all.

The game loses itself in the gameplay. The controls are unresponsive, and there's a lot of "pivot and tilt" to the characters. That is, when you turn your character, he rotates as if on a turntable. There's also the "push and slide" effect that is so prevalent today. Whenever you bump into an orc or other monster, it just gets pushed aside. While the game detects the collision, it's as if the monsters are completely without any mass.

On top of that, you have the fighting moves. The moves are unresponsive and the animations are timed improperly. If you want to do a combo, you can't wait on any visual cues, you have to memorize the timing and just push the buttons in the correct sequence, because it bears no similarity to what you see on screen.

The problem is compounded by the friendly AI. Sure, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn are hanging around in a cave with ghosts everywhere, but don't expect them to actually HELP you kill anything. They'll just stand around and look pretty while you do all the work. Occasionally the enemy AI will get stuck on attacking one of your AI players, and that's sort of a help since they can't die anyways. There is a 2p cooperative play mode that you can use, but in lieu of that the AI is really pathetic.. it dosen't even follow you around.

Yet another problem is the very poor level design. Sure, they look authentic, like low-res versions of the actual set, but they don't play great because of the strange play system.

An example: There's one level where you have to run through osgiliath as Sam and Frodo. Some parts you have to run through really fast because there's a "Nazgul meter" and if you wait too long, Frodo will put the ring on and screw your chances of beating the level. Problem is that the game dosen't give you nearly enough time to get through the level, partially because of the annoying hit physics. If you get hit by an enemy, you are stunned and frozen for at least a second.. but usually when you get hit, you get stunned and frozen for at least 9 or 10 seconds because your speed through the level is the only thing stopping you from being hit by the orc archers. In this level, if you get hit once, you're pretty much screwed and you have to play THE ENTIRE LEVEL over again. It is a frustrating and time-consuming experience.

There's more, I could go on about the poor camera angles, about how most of the game is really dark and you can't see where you're going, and about how most of the time, you can't see your character because he's covered up in a swarm of orcs/ghosts/whatever.

The main problem with this game is that it's just blah. It isn't horrible, but it isn't very good either. This game seems like it was designed by those "cookie cutter" designers. The kind of guys who make you run through mazes and jump over lava. The original Prince of Persia had more thought into the level design than this game.. and it's 12 years old now.

5 years from now, it's doubtful if I will even remember ever playing this game. It's so boring and bland as to be a waste of space, and unless you're a complete Lord of the Rings freak, I wouldn't bother. The one redeeming quality is that you can unlock some interviews with the cast and crew of the movies, but even that can't overcome all the short-sightedness.

Overall Score: 3 of 10

Sneaky TV
Submitted Friday, October 22, 2004 - 11:44:32 PM by Klaitu

Shh, don't tell! Everyone has a secret show or two.. it's a show that you are interested in, that you think is kinda neat, but everyone you know thinks is total crap.. and they're not wrong.

Well, I'm letting the secrets out, there are two shows that I watch religiously, by myself, because nobody else in my family could take how fruity they are.

First up, Providence!

Providence is a hour-long drama that ran from 1999 to 2002. The story is of a female plastic surgeon who moved from Providence to Los Angeles. She finds her beau cheating, and moves back to Providence to head up a pro-bono health clinic.

I know! The synopsis sounds like a total crap show.. the hook that got me is that the main character is played by Melina Kanakaredes. I watched a couple episodes for that, and because it came on right before JAG.

You know, there's a lot of things that make this show stupid. There's one where Mike Farrell (the MASH guy) is trying to teach a dog to achieve its full potential. There's another one where he destroys his entire kitchen chasing a single rat. The Mike Farrell stuff is usually crazy.. he'll be doing like canine aroma therapy cna crap like that (his character is a vet).

Mike Farrell's daughter.. well, she runs a bakery for dogs. That's right. She bakes dog treats and has a dog restaurant where people bring their dogs to eat. How can this business possibly make money?

The rest of the show has Melina Kanakaredes going to extreme lengths to treat her patients. She'll do things like drive 80 miles for repeated house calls, and while she's at it, she'll discover that her patient has a missing son that he hasn't seen for 10 years.. AND she'll reunite them!

I dunno why I keep watching, but I do. The writing is okay for the most part, production values are high, and at least the shows are creative.

The second show is Joan of Arcadia!

I caught this one similarly, it airs right before JAG and it fills CBS's self-imposed requirement to have a show where God is a cast member.

Yeah, the story is of a teen girl named Joan whom God gives riddler-esque instruction to, then Joan goes and tries to figure out what it is she's supposed to do, and in the process learns a life lesson that is readily apparent to the audience at the outset.

I'm wary of shows that purport to know that God would do in certain circumstances, but Joan of Arcadia is usually pretty straight. The God character shows up cryptically as an extraneous guest-star.. perhaps a janitor, perhaps a punk-rocker. He'll utter 3 or 4 lines to Joan regarding her assignment, and then she's left to deal with the consequences of what she does. At the end, God shows up again usually and emphasizes the point of the episode, vaguely.

I shouldn't like this show, because it's weird! the family in the show isn't a faith family of any sort. They all sort of go off and do their own things, and don't really talk to one another frequently. In fact, during the latest episode I saw the mother and father characters did not share a single scene together. The characters react strangely to just about everything, and everyone in the show is morally dense. (that is to say, they don't "get it")

The thing that appeals to me about the show is that it has multi-tiered plotlines that are all triggered by a simple equation: Nothing happens by chance.. at all. It isn't until the end of the episode that you figure out what the first was all about.

Example: There's an episode where God assigns Joan to have a party while her parents are out of town. Joan isn't really a party animal, and has never thrown one before.. her friends think she's weird for doing so, and she goes through a lot of hassle. Her party turns into a nightmare with the partygoers knocking stuff over and causing a ruckus.. turns out that the party attracts the attention of police, who report to the scene. One of the policeman called was going to be on a crackhouse raid, but instead went to thwart the party. The crackhouse was trapped and exploded, and he would have died had he not been there.

It reminds me a lot of Quantum Leap, where God was leaping Sam Beckett around in time.

It's some tricky TV and some clever writing that keeps you thinking ahead of the game. So, if you ever find yourself alone and spot one of these shows, take a look, but by all means, NEVER tell anyone you saw them.. because that would be embarassing. I mean, Providence is on the freaking Lifetime network.. you have to watch bra and feminine hygiene commercials to see it for goodness sake.

Oklahoma OK!
Submitted Friday, October 22, 2004 - 1:11:38 PM by Klaitu

Wow, some of our local news showed up on Fark, probably because it has to do with alcohol and college students.

One state lawmaker is trying to ban all drinking on Oklahoma's college campuses. The move comes in response to the death of 19-year-old Blake Hammontree, who was found dead in the Sigma Chi fraternity house at OU.

State representative Fred Perry from Tulsa is preparing a bill that would ban alcohol and call for the removal of a Greek organization's charter if that organization is caught with alcohol multiple times.

"Parents are not sending their kids up there to drink, they're up there to get a positive education," Perry said. "You don't get that with alcohol readily available."

One student disagrees. "If you really think about it, people under 21 are not suppose to drinking, but they do it all the time any way. So, I really don't think it's going to stop anyone," said Laura Lapley, a student.

Perry is hoping to get the bill passed by the end of the next legislative session.

Attack of the Fish
Submitted Friday, October 22, 2004 - 12:46:42 PM by Klaitu

Friday appears to be "underwater life" day at Special K. Apparently the Great Lakes are being invaded.. invaded by oriental fish that jump put of the water, can breathe air, and regularly dine on birds. They call that the Frankenfish. I dunno if I believe them, I want to see a video in action.

Never fear though, our wildlife guys won't be defeated, they've come up with a new weapon! All you have to do is run some wire, electrocute the entire lake, and then when all the bodies come floating to the surface, you just look for the species that dosen't belong! Here I was thinking they were going to have to stick to the old "throw dynamite in the lake" trick.

If you thought frankenfish were tough though, they got nothing on the Asian Carp. The Asian Carp specializes in jumping out of the water and knocking out humans in boats! That's another thing I want to see on video tape sometime. Anyway, here's the original article

CHICAGO, Illinois (Reuters) -- The dreaded Northern Snakehead, a voracious predator dubbed the "Frankenfish" that can breathe out of water and wriggle across land, has invaded the Great Lakes, authorities said on Friday.

Scientists with the Illinois Department of Natural Resources identified the 18-inch (46-cm), sharp-toothed fish netted over the weekend in a harbor near Chicago's downtown by a fisherman, who put it in his freezer and posted a photograph of the creature on the Internet.

A native of China, the Northern Snakehead was first discovered in 2002 breeding in East Coast ponds -- one of which was poisoned and another drained -- and has since been spotted in the Potomac River in Virginia, in Florida and in other places -- but not, until now, in the Great Lakes.

"These things are voracious feeders. They're a very aggressive fish," said Mike Conlin of the Department of Natural Resources. "We hope it's a stray, dumped there by somebody who got tired of feeding it."

Teams will use electric cables in the harbor to shock fish to the surface to look for more of the species, which can survive the cold Midwest winter and eats other fish, frogs and even birds and mammals. If it breeds, it could devour game fish and devastate the lakes' multibillion-dollar fishing industry.

The Great Lakes, the world's largest body of fresh water, has long been plagued by invasive species, with the latest being the Zebra Mussel, the Round Goby and the Sea Lamprey.

Earlier this week, authorities announced plans to erect an electrified, underwater barrier in the waterway connecting Lake Michigan to the Mississippi River watershed to try to stave off the northerly advance of the Asian Carp, a huge fish that gobbles up vital phytoplankton. The carp, which escaped flooded fish farms along the Mississippi, is within 50 miles (80 km) of Lake Michigan.

Alarmed Asian Carp have been known to leap from the water and knock out people in boats.

The electrified barrier will be adjacent to one erected a few years ago, designed to keep the Round Goby from migrating from Lake Michigan into the Mississippi River watershed, but the effort came too late.

Dolphins and Sharks
Submitted Friday, October 22, 2004 - 4:15:22 AM by Klaitu

The following is an ACTUAL STORY from a LEGITIMATE NEWS SOURCE. I put this disclaimer in, lest you think I pulled it off the Onion, or made it up or something. I didn't. This actually happened.

The world's whales, porpoises and dolphins have no standing to sue President George W Bush over the US Navy's use of sonar equipment that harms marine mammals, a federal appeals court has ruled.

The ruling was made by a three-judge panel of the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, widely considered one of the most liberal and activist in the country.

It said it saw no reason why animals should not be allowed to sue but said they had not been granted that right.

"If Congress and the President intended to take the extraordinary step of authorising animals as well as people and legal entities to sue they could and should have said so plainly," Judge William A Fletcher wrote in an 18-page opinion for the panel.

The lawsuit was brought against Mr Bush and Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld on behalf the Cetacean Community - defined as the world's whales, porpoises and dolphins - by their self-appointed lawyer, marine mammal activist Lanny Sinkin.

Mr Sinkin claimed in the lawsuit that the US Navy had violated the Endangered Species Act with its use of long-range, low-frequency sonar that can cause tissue damage and other injuries to marine mammals.

Mr Sinkin could not be reached for comment on the 9th Circuit's decision, which upheld a lower court ruling.

Satellite Warfare
Submitted Friday, October 22, 2004 - 2:42:10 AM by Klaitu

Alright, for my TV I have a Directv satellite system. I was cruising through the waves today, nothing interesting was on, so I decided to reset my channel list. Directv gives me something like 800 channels, the majority of which I have no interest in, or are not on my payment plan. For that reason, I set the receiver to just not list any uninteresting channels.

But DTV updates their service from time to time and adds channels to the mix, so every once and a blue moon, I set all the channels to show up, and then go about eliminating all the sucky ones again, just to make sure I'm not missing any goodies.

As I was doing this, I noticed that a great many of the channel logos that display when you flip channels were missing, or outdated. I began to wonder if there was a way to download new logos, or if those were just hard-coded into the system when it was bought.. so I did some checking. I didn't find the answer to thius question, but I dragged up a pretty interesting story, which I will now share here, because I want to, so nyaah! (again)

DTV has been around since like 1994 or so. We got it in 97ish if memory serves, and the first receiver we had was a primitive piece of equipment. After about a year of service, it burned itself out and we had to buy a new one. When we went to the dealer to get a new one, he was excited, and he said he would give us a discount if we brought in the old junky one. Free money? okay, sure, have our old piece of burned out junk.

Turns out that all he wanted was the DSS access card contained in the receiver. I guess it's too bad we removed it before giving it to him, and he didn't bother to check. See, the access card contains a magical chip which basically tells who can legitimately view DTV, and who can't. The old card we had was one that was particularly easy to hack.. this is essentially the age old game of "hey, you want free cable?"

Then, some time later.. about a year ago.. DTV sent us a whole new access card to put into our receiver. It came with easy instructions and took about a minute to update. If you have DTV, you probably got the same letter. They sent those out because they discontinued that certain kind of access card.. again, because hackers were going crazy with it.

All of this dosen't compare to the bit of coolness that apparently happened early this year, about a week before the last superbowl. You see, all those hacker guys had been using cards that they modified to get all the channels all the time. DTV didn't like this, so DTV would also constantly modify the cards through the satellite. So, then, the hackers would have to go and re-modify their card to adapt to the new changes.. if they didn't, their hacked card would cease to function.

Well, some smart guy.. or guys.. up at DTV stopped them in their tracks. You see, all these little downloads that DTV had been sending appeared to be just random bits of information intended to annoy them into submission. In actuality, DTV was assembling self-destruct program inside the card, and when the last piece fell into place.. BLAMMO, no more card.

Okay, so it didn't really explode, but it did render any hacked card useless, and impossible to update. Essentially it turned their cards into a little plastic paperweight, while leaving the normal cards functioning perfectly.

The way they did it was genius.. see, all DTV access cards come from DTV themselves.. when they're manufactured, they're all intended to be put to legitimate use, so they each have the same parts. When DTV sends down an update, it sends down an update to EVERY card that is attached to a satellite dish. DTV knows how the cards come when manufactured.. and knows what modifications that they themselves have made, therefore any other modifications made are not legitimate. Here's how it works (and I'm paraphrasing and translating into non-nerd speak)

The access card can't communicate with DTV at all, but it always listens to DTV, nothing can stop that. What DTV has done, essentially, is to explain to the card how to tell if it's legitimate, and to kill itself if it isn't. If it were a conversation:

DTV: We know you can hear us, but you can't talk back, so listen carefully. Remember the number 105, store it in your write-once memory.
Card: (okay)
DTV: Every time you start up, take that number we just gave you, and compare it to the number we gave you when you were manufactured. If those two numbers match, behave normally. If the two numbers do not match, check them over and over again until they do.
Card: (okay)

So, now a card will do either 1 of 2 things. It will either see that the numbers match, and then proceed to do what it does normally, or it will see that the numbers do not match, in which case the only thing the card can do when given electricity is to check to see if the numbers match as fast as it possibly can, over and over infinitely.

Hacker's can't change the secret number that DTV gave it, because it's in write-once memory. In essence, it's a tiny microscopic fuse that has been blown.. the sort of thing you can't fix unless you have an electron microscope and teeny tiny tools.

Anyways, I thought that was a kind of neat story. Of course, Hackers are at it today, but it's a lot more work. Nowadays they've come up with a way to hook a PC into the slot where the access card goes, and then the computer pretends like it's a card. That way, that pesky write-once memory is actually "write as much as you want" and the hacker can go fix anything. Of course, if you're going to go to all that trouble, you might as well just freggin buy your own dish. It's a lot easier.

M31
Submitted Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 4:08:51 PM by Klaitu

You probably know it better as the Andromeda Galaxy.. or if you're a "normal person" like my sister, you didn't even know that. Never fear, youse about to be educated!

The Andromeda Galaxy is our closest galactic neighbor.. the closest big one anyways. It's a spiral galaxy that science-brains think looks kinda like our galaxy does, if you could take a picture of it from the outside (which we can't.. since we're inside and all).

Why should you care about the Andromeda Galaxy? Well, there's no pressing reason, it's not like this information is going to save your life, but there are interesting and otherwise neat-o stories everywhere you look, and the story of Andromeda's discovery happens to be one of them.. or at least I think so, and this is my page, so nyaah!

You see, this giant spinning pinwheel of stars is visible to the naked eye. When you see it, you just automatically assume that it's a star, but it's not.. it's jillions of stars! Andromeda was discovered in.. 905 AD by the ancient Persians.

You see, ancient civilizations didn't have magnetism, so the only way they could figure out which way they were going at sea was to look at the stars. Andromeda showed up as a star on a map dated 964 AD. Of course, you can't put all the stars on a map, so the mapmakers tend to just put the way bright ones on there.

Over the years, bunches of other people "discovered" Andromeda, thinking they had been the first. Fortunately for them, the telescope was invented, and then someone in the 1600's had the bright idea to point one of them at Andromeda.. and discovered... it's not a star at all.

Yeah, they thought it was a nebula, which is a reasonable guess since your ancient telescope wasn't all that great, and if you're living in the reniassance, you have no idea what a galaxy is. So, for a long time it got classified as a nebula.

One of the tricky things about space is that it's hard to tell how big something is just by looking at it. You might be looking at something big that is far away, or something small that is close up. There's no reference to tell. William Herschel took a stab at it, and he guessed that Andromeda was probably 17,000 Light Years away (closer than most stars). In other words, he thought it was a little thing that was close up.. but Andromeda is a reeeely big thing very far away.

Then, new nerds came along.. nerds that study light. Different junk burns different colors, that's why firework explosions can be different colors.. but it's also how science-brains can figure out what stuff is made of just by looking at it. Well, these light nerds looked at Andromeda and noticed that it gave off light that was similar to stars, and not similar to actual nebulae.

Over time, telescopes got better, and space-nerds were able to see the spirals in Andromeda. They even noticed that it was rotating, and they attempted to measure how fast.

Enter Edwin Hubble.. he's a famous space-nerd.. so famous they named a telescope after him. He found something called a Cephid Variable in Andromeda. A Cephid Variable is a star that flashes at regular intervals. By looking at that, and applying some complicated math whatnots, you can figure out distances to things.. which is what Hubble did, and so he discovered that Andromeda was actually a galaxy. He made this discovery in 1929, which means it only took like 900 years to figure this out.

So, what does Andromeda look like? Here's a picture!

Farscape Aftermath
Submitted Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 3:27:46 PM by Klaitu

Alright, alright, last Farscape post for awhile, I just found this sort of interesting.. Claudia Black (star of Farscape) has posted on the official Farscape message boards. Odd? Most certainly! The only person I've even heard of doing that is J. Michael Straczynski. This isn't out of the ordinary for Black, though.. she's done it before, but not since the early days of the original series. Her board name is "chickwithgun".

Well hello there and with a tingle down my spine, I say, "Welcome Back"!

The buzz about the miniseries has been amazing. The press have been more than kind ( I suspect fan bribery)
And what the frell has happened to this website? I feel very old and dumb. This is all fancy now and I feel like Aeryn saying in TGIF that science is really hard....

So...... we'll have lots to talk about at Burnbank, won't we?

I just wanted to say hello and thank you to you all for creating this extraordinary opportunity for me to work with my friends again and give us a chance to keep these timeless characters afloat. This would not have been possible without you.
In fact, this is 100 percent FOR YOU.
So sit back , put your feet up, grab some hankies and enjoy Night two... it's a doozie!

I know what happens and you don't yet...
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves...
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves....
I am sooooooooooooooo excited for you guys.

Lots of love to you from your
Officer Aeryn Sun,
aka Claudia xo

The Peacekeeper Wars
Submitted Monday, October 18, 2004 - 11:32:53 PM by Klaitu

As promised, the review of Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars.

You know, when I write a review, the toughest part is conveying how good a show is without spoiling the plot, and this instance is no exception to that phenom. How shall I put this? If television goodness were a tangible thing, and you could collect it, distill it, and then refine it until you got a 100% pure product, that product would be Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars. It is that good. It's so good that I'm going to give you the Overall Score first, and then explain why!

Overall Score: 9 out of 10 (perfectest score possible)

The most consistant complaint that I have, even with shows that I really like, is that they end too soon. I always am left wanting more. In a way, I guess you could say that they don't satisfy me. Peacekeeper Wars isn't like that. In fact, it wouldn't bother me if there wasn't any more Farscape in the future, simply because the plot is wrapped up so satisfactorily. Don't get me wrong, I'd welcome more, I'm just saying if it ended on that note, that would be just fine.

Another constant annoyance I percieve, particularly in TV shows, is their lack of willingness to "break the rules". In Farscape, everything is fair game. They've even been known to kill off main characters before. Peacekeeper Wars is no exception. Don't expect something to happen, because the story will not follow the traditional track. You can't even predict the plot by reversing the expectations 180. It goes off into tangents that are real, make you think, and do not insult the audience.

Many times, when you have a TV show that gets turned into a movie, or has an opportunity to do big budget things, they change things around. They change the way things look, the style, they "improve" the special effects. None of that with Farscape. Most everything is exactly the same.. same wardrobe, same props, same actors. The two major changes are the set for Moya's command (which has new wall sconces) and Sikozu's hair, wardrobe, and makeup (which make her appear to be Sebacean). Chiana's hair is also different, but not noticably so.

The plot is an important aspect of the show that deserves special mention. After 2 years of hiatus, the characters are all written seamlessly as if no time has passed. The loose ends we were left with at the end of season 4 are all resolved, with the exception of Earth's distant fate, and Rygel's return to Hyneria.. though both of these are mentioned. Mysterious bits and pieces from episodes are finally explained in a way that makes you go "oh, so THAT's why they did that!".

Drawbacks? There are only two, and both of them are extremely minor.

1. Sound quality. Though the "dolby surround" logo appeared on-screen, the program was not broadcast in dolby surround. I expect this to be remedied by a subsequent DVD release of the series. Still, though, it is broadcast in stereo, and the dialogue is readily understandable. Sound balance remains intelligible, and the low quality of the sound is more of a technicality than a distraction.

2. Gigi Edgley, who plays Chiana, has apparently gained weight, or lost weight, or something. Her performance is just a little off at the very beginning of the mini as well. It's possible she was acting on a level that I just wasn't getting, but whatever the reason, I was distracted by it. Since the scene lasts about 15 seconds this wasn't much of a problem.

I occassionally get asked why I am so hard on movies, and why I tend to score popular movies and shows so low. The answer is that I don't grade on a curve. So many shows today cater to a formula, they fit into a predefined notion of what the audience is expecting.. and it just sucks the life out of the potential of the show.

Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars is an A+ in a class where the other kids are regularly producing D's and F's. Shows that should be average C's are touted as blockbuster programming. The saddest part.. at least in my eyes.. is that those TV people don't see anything wrong with that. If you can peddle crap and still make money, why bother producing something made of pure gold?

If you want to see what television could and should always be.. if you want to see what happens when a team of talented people do not compromise the quality of their programming for a network.. if you are tired of mediocre tv shows, go check out Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars as soon as you can.

There are no plot holes. There are no inconsistencies. There are no plot excuses. There's just 100% pure solid gold TV entertainment that in the end is not only worth watching, but will leave you feeling satisfied afterward.

Perfect Score, congratulations Henson Company.

Farscape Celebration
Submitted Sunday, October 17, 2004 - 11:30:12 PM by Klaitu

The first half of the Farscape Miniseries has aired, and lemme tell you, it is nifteroo! I'm going to do a review on it once I see the whole thing, but in the meantime, here's some Farscape promotional junk, because Farscape is freaking awesome.

First off, check out some audio interviews by AOL (eww) in realplayer format (eww). They've got one with Ben Browder and Claudia Black (yum!)

http://www.savefarscape.com/stories/1097878112.php

SciFi channel has also gone and done some video interviews, most notably with Wayne Pygram and David Kemper. You can find those at http://www.scifi.com/farscape/

Finally, KFC has gotten into the action. The Colonel has a soft place in his heart for good sci-fi.. I knew it! Download yourself a screensaver from the KFC site! http://www.kfc.com/scifi/

In the meantime, enjoy this promotional picture!

Dear ATI Technologies
Submitted Thursday, October 14, 2004 - 9:07:11 PM by Klaitu

Your products suck!

I've been trying to get my Radeon 8500DV to work... and when I say work, I mean "not turn off the monitor in the middle of stuff".

I've had this thing for about 2 years now, and it has never worked quite right, but it's never been so much of a problem as when I installed the latest video drivers.

One might think that you could just roll back the drivers if the new ones were a problem. No sir, not so with ATI. In fact, you can't get rid of them once you've installed them.

Those of you who are nerds out there know there's this rivalry between nVidia and ATI. For the longest time, I didn't really care.. I mean, if it works, it works. Now, I'm solidly behind nVidia. My geforce 4 MX 440 might be a piece of crap, but at least when I upgrade the drivers, my computer stays on.

Arrrgh! Hulk smash!

Gladius
Submitted Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 7:08:58 PM by Klaitu

Here's a little gem that you probably missed: Gladius is (guess what) a game about Gladiators. It's a Tactical RPG.. that is to say, it's like Final Fantasy Tactics.. or like battle chess. This game has so much potential, but unfortunately, it lets us down.

The graphics are top notch stuff.. well, for when it was made.. in 2003. There's better stuff out there, but it's definately a nice looking game.

Sound is good as well. The voice acting is decent, and the sounds and sound effects are of good fidelity. Music is good, but there are problems here.

You can customize the appearance of your gladiators to some extent, their colors, etc. This is good when you want to make your guys look like a team. It also makes all the NPC's not look repetitive.

The game is pretty fun, it is difficult at times, and impossible at others.

That's about where the good stuff ends. Gladius has many problems that it needs to overcome, the foremost being that the game only has ONE SONG. Battles in this game can take 10 to 20 minutes for the longer ones, and it's always playing the SAME SONG, and the song maybe lasts 40 seconds at most before it repeats. It's enough to drive you insane.

There are, of course, slightly different variations on that theme at the conclusion of a battle, when you are treated to a "win song" or a "lose song".. both of which are cut off prematurely 100% of the time.

The cutscenes are a matter of confusion to me. They look like flash animations.. something like what you'd see in Neverwinter Nights.. i.e. pictures that float around, fade in and out, zoom up and around and such.. and that style is fine with me, but what they've done is store it in VIDEO format, which is huge, and sad.. because a PS2 can probably generate that video in real time.. just like a flash animation. They shoulda used that video space and put in more songs.

Another detractor is the loading screen. The Loading screen comes up for EVERYTHING. It comes up when you're going into battle, when you're coming out, whenever you pull up character information.. virtually any time you pull up a menu you have to wait for it to "load". This is a long game as-is, but it's made 3 times longer just because of the loading factor.

This one's a good renter, and maybe even a good buy-and-sell-back-er. Preowned, it's hard to argue with the value of the game, simply because of the length. You're looking at something like 60 hours (thats what the box says, anyway).

Overall Score: 5 of 10

Star Wars Battlefront
Submitted Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 6:47:47 PM by Klaitu

What can I say? Star Wars Battlefront is Battlefield 1942 with Star Wars units. I would like to write a big long review on this, but there really isn't a whole lot of reason to.

The major difference here is that you've got more than just 2 armies to choose from. You've got wookiees and rebels and clone troopers and droid armies.. depending on the map. You might even see a jedi or two in your travels (but you can't be one).

Pros:
- Not hard to kill people, unlike some games where you unload a clip into a guy and he dosen't die (*cough* America's Army *cough*_
- Sound effects, voice acting, and music are all top-notch.
- Mildly fun when playing with a friend

Cons:
- Laggy, laggy, laggy
- No option to turn down video preferences for better performance, Game is choppy
- Loading screen is incredibly annoying
- Cannot customize number of battle participants
- Nothing new, it's battlefield, you've played it before

Overall Score: 4 our of 10

Christopher Reeve Dead
Submitted Monday, October 11, 2004 - 2:48:17 AM by Klaitu

For Superman, I never really saw that coming. He wasn't particularly old, just stuck in a wheelchair. I guess that means he won't be coming back to Smallville. Bummer!

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/10/11/obit.reeve.ap/index.html

Advent Children Trailers
Submitted Sunday, October 10, 2004 - 10:24:21 PM by Klaitu

It's like Christmas. You want to open the presents, but they won't let you open them.. so you resort to shaking them, trying to peek through the side.. anything you can do to guess what's inside.

If Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children is a Christmas present, then Square has deployed among the shiniest wrapping papers. Myself, I try not to pay attention to Advent Children because I fear a letdown, as what happened with Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

At any rate, I figured it was time to catch up with Advent Children, and wowwie, was I in for a treat! From the title, you probably guessed that I'm gonna show off some trailers, but before I do that, here's some fast-facts:

Advent Children is 70-90 minutes long. It features at least 20 individual characters. All the playable characters from the game make an appearance, and on top of that there are 4 returning non-playable characters. The remainder are original characters for the film.

On a side note, you've probably already seen the Teaser Trailer from the Official Site (if you haven't, go see that trailer first). The grey-haired guy that Cloud is fighting is, in fact, not Sephiroth. (though it looks like him)

Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children will be released on DVD in "Early 2005". Those lucky Japanese buggers get it in "late 2004".

Anyways, on to the trailers! You can access a whole boatload of trailers at http://www.adventchildren.net/ff7ac/media/movies.htm. The gem of this bunch is the "E3 trailer" (http://media2.ffadventchildren.com/trailers/ffviiac_e3_trailer.avi) Which almost made me pee my pants.. and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I also highly recommend the "High Quality Final Fantasy X-2 International Trailer" Which was included on the X-2 International version. (http://media3.ffadventchildren.com/trailers/ffviiac_hq_trailer.avi) It features Barret and Vincent action.

The E3 trailer features mucho Cloud fighting footage, as well as some Tifa butt-kickin action as well. Pretty wild stuff, I can only hope the actual movie is as awesome as the trailers.

Make Big Wampum
Submitted Saturday, October 9, 2004 - 7:57:29 PM by Klaitu

Want to make money? Sure, we all do!

Alright, so here's what you do, you go to the bargain bin at your local pawn shop and pick up as many DVD movies as you can for 2 bucks or so a pop, then you take the price stickers off them and sell them to Blockbuster for 8 bucks a pop.

Because for some promotional reason, all DVD movies are at least 8 in Blockbuster credit. So, if you were to trade in 5 movies, you're looking at $40 bucks. Very not bad! If you're looking for game accessories or something that Blockbuster sells, you might be able to get it dirt cheap.

Colorful Colorado
Submitted Monday, October 4, 2004 - 9:11:30 PM by Klaitu

You know, there's not a day that goes by where someone neglects to ask me why the Rocky Mountains are one of the coolest chunks of dirt on the planet. As a kid, we went up to the rockies of colorado annually. It's been nearly a decade since I was able to return, but that hasn't stopped my parents, nor has it stopped the ridiculously amazing super-duper digital camera.

Now, thanks to the miracle of modern technology, I am able to show you what I've already seen but never get tired of. I've created a wallpaper image for those of you who are interested. This photo has not been modified in any way, except to affix the ds180 watermark in the corner. What you see here is pretty much how it looks to the naked eye.

1024 x 768

The Smallville Experiment: Triple Threat
Submitted Monday, October 4, 2004 - 2:26:24 AM by Klaitu

This Smallville show.. I want to like it. Like a flower growing toward the light, I occasionally bend in the direction of "everyone's" favorite teen angst show hosed down with superman juice (artificial superman juice.. from concentrate).

So, it's Saturday, I have nothing to do. Nobody's around.. don't feel like playing any games.. I feel like a good story, but all the prerecorded stuff I have dosen't fit the bill. What's that over on the ABC Family channel? I thought I de-programmed that crap.. hmm.. a Smallville marathon.. alright, it's either Smallville or golf.

After all, the episodes I have seen were all from early in the program, mostly first season and them some second season stuff. Now Smallville is entering the 4th season.. High school Freshmen are now Seniors in that time, even (although that dosen't seem to affect smallville). Surely the pathetic writers and half-done plotlines are through with? Right?

As luck would have it, I started up right with the Season 3 finale, and aside from some strangeness resulting from me having missed 2 years of the show, I thought it was pretty good. They totally butchered the story of Supergirl.. but that's okay, I'm willing to sacrifice Supergirl, because she sucked anyway. Basically, the plot is an amateurish attempt to bend the events of the series to a shocking conclusion. In this instance, Clark is.. sucked into Jor-El's underground technological womb (which is shaped like the Superman Diamond) while Bo Duke.. err.. Jonathan Kent is knocked into unconsciousness. There's also some garbage with Lionel Luthor and Kristin Kreuk in Paris or something. Oh yeah, and the blonde girl "dies".

Alright, so I can handle this level of incompetance in a TV show, especially when nothing else is on. I found this episode of Smallville to be somewhat enjoyable, IF you completely ignored the whole Superman thing and just pretended he is some other kid with super powers.

I get curious. This was my downfall. I downloaded the first two episodes of season 4, which picks up the season 3 story. This action made me pay for my insolance. It shouted "How dare you begin to like this Superman show?". The only possible response could be "Oops, I watched it again"

You see, turns out that the blonde chick just happens to be related to Lois Lane (what are the odds?). Lois Lane is wondering how her cousin got killed. She travels to Smallville, and her car is struck by lightning (what are the odds?). She crashes into a corn field where Clark has re-emerged from Jor-El's secret underground techological spirit womb (what are the odds?). Turns out Clark has lost his memory, but has embraced his kryptonian side, in essence being "reborn". He is also naked when Lois Lane finds him, and she checks him out (what are the odds?). Lois Lane takes Clark to the hospital, where his mother finds him because Jonathan Kent is in the hospital as well (what are the odds?). Martha Kent tries to talk to Clark, but he's fully Kryptonian now. Meanwhile Lex Luthor unwittingly activates the very device that Clark is looking for (what are the odds?). Worried, Martha Kent calls up Christopher Reeve. Reeve sends his girlfriend to the Kent farm. Turns out Reeve has been holding out some "Black Kryptonite"(what are the odds?) which just happens to have the ability to seperate Kal-El from Clark (what are the odds?)

So.. this whole situation is highly improbable. Surely this was a fluke. I mean, they had to resolve a season cliffhanger. I can understand that.. I mean, There's Nazi's on Enterprise right, and that's pretty stupid. Surely I can let this slide. On to episode 2.

Continuing where the previous episode left off. Newfound allies, Lois and Clark (I did that on purpose) investigate the explosion site where the blonde girl was supposedly killed. We know she's not dead because we, the audience, is about 5 thousand times smarter than the writers of the series. Clark knows she's not dead because he x-rayed her buried coffin. Anyways, the government is after Lois and Clark, because Lex Luthor has hired Lois Lane's dad (General Sam Lane) to protect the blonde chick (what are the odds?). Turns out that there's this guy who is a ripoff of the T-1000 trying to kill her. Why? We don't know.. but Lionel Luthor hired him. It's alright though, because once metal-hands-man ties the blonde girl up and dangles her over a pit of boiling metal, Clark fights him, and Lois electrocutes him to death. It's a good thing the authorites aren't wondering what happened to that missing guy. Oh, yeah.. and there's some Lex stuff and some Kristin Kreuk stuff going on too. Kristin has a tattoo on her back that she got in Paris, it matches a symbol on the cave wall of Jor-El's underground technological spirit womb. Oh yeah, and one last thing.. There are FOUR SHOWER SCENES in this episode, and no two characters take a shower twice. There's also a shower scene in the episode before this one. Seems like people in Smallville can't keep clean (even if they happen to be in Europe).

Why oh why did I start watching Smallville again? It's like one of those boxing nun puppets. Sure, it's cute, but sooner or later you'll poke your eyes out. I'm so disappointed in Smallville. I want this Superman show to be good, I really really do. I loved the Lois and Clark show, and it wasn't exactly written by a super genius. I could even take the movies, even with the time travelling thing.

Nearly everything about the Smallville show bothers me, EXCEPT the main title sequence, which has a trendy but not overused theme song. These writers have no concept of what makes Superman.. well.. Superman. They also have problems with casting. Blonde Lois Lane? That's like casting a black superman. The only thing they got sorta right was Lane's attitude. Arrrgh!

Well, I guess that does it for another season. I'll probably get sucked in by an upcoming "Young batman" episode or "young flash" episode. I'd probably even fall for a "Way young Jimmy Olsen" episode. I'm a sucker that way.. but at least now I know I'll pay for it.

Sly Cooper 2
Submitted Friday, October 1, 2004 - 5:57:03 PM by Klaitu

Not exactly my style of game, but Carson brought me a free copy of it, so I gave it a shot. I was pleasantly suprised by what I found.

Sly Cooper 2 is a stealth action game, wherein you do less beating up of the bad guys, and more stealing the keys off of their belts without them noticing. It's in a cartoonish style, and the cutscenes are actually pure animation in and of themselves. The result is a visual style that looks cartoony, in the vein of Toon Town from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit".

The soundtrack has sort of a reverse 60's James Bond thing going on, with a dash of 60's batman. When you thwack a guy, there's a brass flare which really helps put you in the mood.

In Sly Cooper, you can play one of three characters.. the Brains, the Brawn, or the Thief. Each has strengths and weaknesses, and you've got to use all the characters together to solve puzzles.

Speaking of puzzles, they aren't your usual "go to X place and get Y item to achieve Z objective" puzzles. They're not terribly difficult, but they do make you think, and sometimes even though you know exactly what you need to do, accomplishing the task is more difficult than you might think.

Your primary opponents, the guards act correctly. They carry flashlights, and if at any point you get within range of the flashlight, odds are you're going to get shot. However, if you're behind the guard, they will never see you. The game dosen't cheat by "seeing" you even when you're not in the flashlight beam like many games of this genre do. The result is that you always know if you have been detected or not. Major plus in a game like this.

Kid's stuff? I don't know. There's no hookers or exploding heads or escaped death-row inmates that turn into demons, but I think that's probably a good thing. It's a light-hearted romp, and a whole lot of fun.

Overall Score: 9 of 10