October 2003

Bran's Book Report
Submitted Thursday, October 30, 2003 - 12:58:55 PM by Klaitu

Against Infinity, by Gregory Benford
Published by Avon Books, Inc., 1993
ISBN 0-380-79058-0

The first few sections of this book describe the early life of one Manuel Lopez, a human boy growing up on his native Ganymede. This icy Jovan moon is in the process of being terraformed by genetically manipulated and mechanically enhanced creatures that were released purposely by scientists to create a more favorable habitat for humans. The "crawlies" reproduce quickly, but unfortunately they also mutate very easily. Therefore Manuel's father, Colonel Lopez, leads expeditions on behalf of the local government to kill the "muties," which disrupt their finely tuned ecosystem. Manuel and a cast of misfits accompany him.

The story itself revolves around a mysterious artifact that inhabits the moon, called simply Aleph. No one quite knows what to make of it, except that it is not completely organic and had always been oblivious to humans and the settlements it crushes in passing. In any event, after sighting it for the first time, Manuel becomes fixated upon it. He goes out by himself looking for it, whether alone or with the aid of “servo’d” animals (imagine a half mechanical dog with the IQ of Forrest Gump) or with his friend Old Matt, the stereotypical wise old man, though partially servo’d himself like many people on Ganymede who get seriously injured. The Colonel also reluctantly adds a new member to their team, which turns out to be a man who was stuck on some remote moon for too long, went crazy and nearly died. “Eagle,” as they nickname him, is completely incapable of speech and had much of his body replaced with servo’d parts, making him seem wild and inhuman and more like one of the servo’d laborer animals. However, Eagle’s tracking abilities turned out to be a windfall for the other humans. Unlike the scientists that came to Ganymede to track Aleph, Eagle tracks it down fearlessly and the complement of the hunting party keeps it at bay while Manuel shoots it with a special gun. Eagle makes a jump at it, gets sucked in and dies heroically.

After bringing it down with a well-placed shot, Aleph shifts and collapses onto Manuel. As he is temporarily sucked into a large hole in the thing, he sees Matt inside. However, when the thing releases him and he falls out, he discovers that Matt had collapsed and was near death, and everyone swore that Aleph did not hit him. Later that night, Matt makes Manuel promise to “Watch for me,” and he sneaks out of the shelter in his suit and promptly takes off his helmet and freezes to death. Colonel Lopez blames Manuel for wanting to “kill everything that is old.” Manuel takes off for the city and their relationship is irreparably damaged.

In the latter half of the book, Manuel is a young man now and is getting on with his life when people from socialist earth come to study the corpse of Aleph. During Manuel’s lengthy stay in the Ganymede city of Sidion for Colonel Lopez’ funeral, the author makes plenty of comparisons between the socialistic policies of earth and the growing capitalism in the colonies, which earth is trying to squelch. It took all my will not to skip these chapters, as they were excruciatingly tedious.

In any event, the scientists convince Manuel to go out to the frontier with them to look at Aleph. When he gets there he finds that they have it cut open so that you can walk inside. While in there, Manuel encounters the visage of his old friend, Matt. When he turns to run away in horror, the ice on which they stand begins to buckle due to nearby seismic upheaval and Aleph slips below the ice. Most of the people in the camp die, but Manuel bounces all the way back to Sidion with the aid of his nifty bionic legs so as to get help for everyone else. Insert long introspective scene here as he huffs and puffs his way over the ice floes.

When he returns, he watches Aleph break back up through the ice. Now, this is the part in the book when I realized that I had wasted about three weeks of lunch breaks reading this. Sadly, I only realized this when I was on the last page.

The author clearly didn’t figure we had a clue by this point that 1) Matt was Aleph somehow, 2) Ganymede was going to rebel against human attempts to tame it, and 3) that these two were intertwined. The book leaves so many questions unanswered in my mind, however, that I am literally considering writing to the author and asking him what he was drinking when writing the closing chapter, which incidentally I read about six times because I thought I had missed something important. How was Matt the Aleph? Is Aleph the equivalent of Ganymede’s Mother Nature or something? Why is it there? Who put it there? Why does it allow Manuel to “kill” it, if it is indeed Matt, who helped him throughout the story and even carried his gun for him?

Despite the fact that I bought this book on sale for $1.25 a couple years ago, I still feel cheated. Take it from me – go buy your favorite snack instead. I guarantee you will be much more satisfied than I was when I finished this.



Slow updates
Submitted Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 10:20:47 AM by Klaitu

I've been busy rading the panties of capitalism, my friends. (Woah, I been watching too much Tick!) Anyways, I've been slow to update the last couple days, and updates will prolly be a little sparse for the rest of this week. Rest assured though, that when something big happens I'll be sure to update on it!



Feinds, you face THE TICK!
Submitted Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 10:18:43 AM by Klaitu

I would write a review here, but theres not a lot to be said. THE TICK IS FREAKING AWESOME. That's all there is to it.

I recently had the opportunity to borrow Carson's copy of the Live-action DVD's. Most delicious. Apparently the show only ran for 6 episodes, which sucks, because every single one of them is hilarious. Usually with TV shows you get mixed quality.. but the Tick wouldn't have it any other way.



TV Ratings
Submitted Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 9:57:18 PM by Klaitu

TV Ratings suck. Not only are they inaccurate, but they are also calculated incorrectly, but the ratings do determine what you get to see on the tube, and also why you get swill like "american idol" and "temptation island" jammed down your throat.

Higher numbers are better:

Farscape's last season (vivendi NBC): 1.2
Scare Tactics (vivendi NBC): 0.8
Stargate SG-1 (vivendi NBC): 1.7
Tremors the Series (vivendi NBC): 0.8
Enterprise (Viacom): 2.3
Smallville (AOL/Time Warner): 3.9
JAG (Viacom): 8.9
American Idol (News Corporation): 29.4



Stargate Scoop
Submitted Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 9:45:31 PM by Klaitu

If you dig Stargate SG-1, I have some good and bad news for you.

Stargate is in it's seventh season currently, and was no intended to go on into an eighth. Back in July, MGM announced that the series would continue on.. to serve as a lunchpad for the new Stargate series entitled "Stargate: Atlantis". Sci-Fi channel later confirmed that the entire cast would be returning for season 8. Stargate: Atlantis will feature an entirely different cast, with likely guest appearances by SG-1 members.

Now, Sci-Fi has put out a casting call for two new characters: Colonel Kyle Hooper and Dr. Maggie Greer. These cast members are specifically slated for SG-1. This fits in with rumors that Richard Dean Anderson will be cutting back on his own screen time on the show. Anderson is not only the star of SG-1, he is also a producer.

Experts continue to say that having a Stargate Season Nine is unlikely at best.



Guns don't kill people, Wal-Mart kills people.
Submitted Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 11:17:02 AM by Klaitu

That's what a new lawsuit says:

THE SUIT CLAIMS marketer Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc., designers Take-Two Interactive Software and Rockstar Games, and Wal-Mart, are liable for $46 million in compensatory damages and $200 million in punitive damages.

The boys told investigators they got the rifles from a locked room in their home and decided to randomly shoot at tractor-trailer rigs, just like in the video game “Grand Theft Auto III.”

In a suit filed Monday in Cocke County Circuit Court on behalf of the victims, Miami lawyer Jack Thompson and local lawyer Richard Talley alleged the game “inspires and trains players to shoot at vehicles and persons.”


Isn't it great to live in a world where you can kill people, and then blame it on big business, or video games?



News Nuggets!
Submitted Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 11:14:07 AM by Klaitu

Toddlers can be like pirahna, when they smell blood, they frenzy! You've got to read this one to believe it, it's just too strange.

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2003/10/23/233915-ap.html

There's a new hollywood service where you can get loser celebrities to call your house. you can now give your mom a special, live message from Colonel Klink.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,12632,00.html

My sister never had a phone bill THIS bad:

http://www.freep.com/news/statewire/sw86604_20031023.htm

A woman in Denver was rammed... by a cow.. three times. Shes going to sue the cow now.

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news//2571992/detail.html

Spam just became illegal. Too bad it won't have any ACTUAL effect on it.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1093&e=1&u=/pcworld/20031023/tc_pcworld/113065

Pothead crashes his car into people. kills them, says it was an accident. Dosen't think the POT had anything to do with it. Coincidentally, he is also a moron.

http://www.canada.com/vancouver/news/story.asp?id=B1699CF9-9C6F-415D-B620-EAA7D1B0E62B

Gator sues company for calling it's spyware "spyware".

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/23/28027.html

I have never really figured this out, but apparently California hates Wal-Mart. Lots of people hate Wal-Mart, and for no good reason that I can determine. Where else can you buy a Robotic Dog, some cheetos and get your film developed at 3 AM?

http://arkansasnbc.com/global/Story.asp?s=1492267

In Russia, it is now illegal to speak any language other than Russian. Good luck enforcing that one, guys.

http://www.metro.co.uk/metro/weird/article.html?in_page_id=4&in_article_id=8899



Let's blame Video Games!
Submitted Wednesday, October 22, 2003 - 4:48:26 PM by Klaitu

You might have seen a recently released video of those Columbine guys practicing with their guns and such a couple days before the blew away 12 students and a teacher at their high school. The media picked up the story, and of course they have your traditional nutjob "expert psychologist" telling the world that Video Games kill people.

This irks me, because it's stupid. It's not just stupid, its stupid on the same level as the movie Contact stupid. That is to say, really really really incredibly stupid.

Let me straighten this out for those people who don't know what they are talking about.

Stupid argument 1:
"Experts" like to say that kids "train to kill" on games like HALO or Counterstrike.

Fact:
HALO is a best-seller. It's the best selling game for X-BOX and has literally sold millions of copies. Out of all these HALO owners, how many of them have gone on shooting rampages? Let's be generous and say that 1,000 people worldwide have flipped out and shot people because they played HALO. Even if this inflated figure were true, it would still account for less than 1% of the copies out there.

What about the other 99% of people who play HALO and DON'T kill people?

Let's use some logic here, is it really HALO that causes people to kill, or is insane people who happened to play HALO?

Fact:
Sure, you could "train to kill" someone on HALO. You could also literally kill someone with an X-BOX by smashing their skull in, but that dosen't make it a weapon.

Stupid Argument 2:
Video Games corrupt children, turning them into bloodthirsty automatons.

Fact:
Nearly anything can corrupt children, or cause them to do inappropriate things. TV, Sports, Movies, Books, Peers, and Public School are some of the examples. The solution to these things is parental involvement. You wouldnt let a 7 year old watch hardcore porn, why would you let a 7 year old play Grand Theft Auto?

Then, there is the whole "ignorant person" comments you get from the "experts". Here's a Quote from one on Fox News (from the TV):

In this game, Grand Theft Auto 3, you have to get a prostitute into a car to refill your life, then you cut her head off so that you can get your money back.


Problems:
1. You dont HAVE to do anything with prostitutes.
2. There are about 10 other ways to regain health.
3. If you did use the prostitute method, you wouldnt HAVE to cut their head off.
4. Grand Theft Auto 3 is rated M. This is the equivalent to the rating "R" in movies. What did you expect?



X-Play
Submitted Wednesday, October 22, 2003 - 12:00:32 PM by Klaitu

Alright, most stuff in TechTV is too nerdy for me, but there's a cool show called "X-Play" on there that reviews video games. It's very not bad.

They also do some interesting studies.. for instance, there's one where they compare DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball to real Beach Volleyball.

This is made even more hilarious because they go to a beach, and one host is wearing a skirt, the other host is in a longsleeve shirt.. on the beach. Neither host has any athletic talent.

http://www.techtv.com/xplay/shownotes/story/0,24330,3461648,00.html



Bewb Nuggets
Submitted Wednesday, October 22, 2003 - 11:58:00 AM by Klaitu

Only 2 bits today, and they're both about bosoms, strangely.

This just in, Pamela Anderson has Fatal Hepatitis. Gee, I didn't see that one coming. Sure, she could be cured, but she dosen't believe in medicine. (yeah, right.. I'm sure those are natural)

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2003/10/21/national1615EDT0694.DTL

In Austrailia, it's legal to breastfeed in bars. Why you would take an infant into a bar.. well, thats a whole nother issue.

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7632330^13569,00.html



Princess Maker 2
Submitted Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 1:52:54 PM by Klaitu

Alright, it sounds a little corny, but it's from Japan so what do you expect?

Princess Maker 2 dosen't fall into any gaming category I can think of. Technically, I guess it would be a "Life Sim" game like "The sims" except it has stats like RPG games, and action like a mix between Final Fantasy and Mortal Kombat.

In the 10th century, you were a kick-but hero warrior who saved the kingdom from the lord of the underworld. The King invited you to stay in his kingdom and settle down from a life or wandering. Then, one day a beam of light deposits a 10 year old girl in your lap!

Okay, so it's not as strange as it sounds. The little girl's patron saved her from destruction and has been raising her, but dosen't know that much about raising mortal little girls. That's where you come in.. apparently the patrons think that you, as a wandering slayer of devils, would make a GREAT dad! The Patron of course, varies upon the kids zodiac sign.

My princess pulled the patron Sol. Anyways, after you get your kid from the beam of light, it's time to raise her! The game is set at an 8 year span, so when she hits 18, the game ends. You've got 8 years to turn her into something. Gameplay is done in month-segments. You are able to have her do 3 things each month (for 9 days apiece).

I decided my princess should learn Strategy, Fighting, Fencing, and Refinement. All these classes cost money, so I had her work as a farmer too. Now, as she goes to classes or does jobs, she accumulated a stat called stress. You have to relieve stress every now and again by vacations, or just free time.

Theres something like 30 stats that the game tracks throughout the 8 years. For instance, my princess went to Strategy classes a lot. The classes increase her intelligence, strategy, and fighting style, but decrease her sensitivity and maternal instincts.

There are also stats that affect her appearance, things like weight, height, measurements, and charisma. You can alter these somewhat with diet and exercise. If you have your princess working as a mason or lumberjack, you can guess that her appearance would be harder to maintain.

Every September there is a Harvest Festival. you can choose to enter a cook-off, a dance contest, a painting contest, or a combat tournament. I chose the combat tournament for my princess.. and she lost.

As the princess ages, she can do different jobs.. like grave keeper, mason, or sleazy bar ho. Yes, that's right. Sleazy bar ho. your butler dosen't like it when you make her be a sleazy bar ho.. but it is the best paying job there is.

At age 14, your princess will gain a rival, depending on her most advanced interest. For me, this was a combat rival who was easy enough to beat. There is also a magic rival, a dance rival, a painting rival, and a chef rival.

You can also go adventuring outside the city.. and you should, because you can unlock secret weapons, clothes, and armor by completing the quests in the wilderness.

My princess was pretty rough-and-tumble. The Kung Fu master challenged her to a fight at the dojo, and she beat him. Then she started winning the Harvest Festival. Then people started challenging her on the street, all of which she totally pwned. She even killed the God of War.. but I wont spoil that one for you.

I had guys knocking at the door wanting to marry the princess, but nooooo way dude. I just took their gifts of money and sent them packing!

So finally, my princess turned 18. She was summoned to the palace and given a special message. Also, later on she married a well-tempered knight.


She became the General of the Kingdoms Army. Not bad for my first time around I guess.

Now, I dunno why, but this game is kinda addictive, so I've been playing it off and on for the past 2 years, and I have had some interesting results:


She became a Fighting Instructor once, and married a Knight.. she seems to like Knights.


She became a Bounty Hunter one time.. but I wonder what kind of bounty she was hunting anyways. What kinda bounty hunter wears red undies?


She became a Hero once. Yes. A Super Hero. A MAGIC Super hero. Believe it or not, there is also a warrior super hero profession she can become.


She became a Mason once. It was pretty boring. She married a Mason too and had little Mason kids.

Now, don't get me wrong, its fun to see how good you can make her, but its also fun to see how BAD you can make her. Let me tell you, you can make her pretty bad. Here's some examples:


Bar HO! Yes, she can become a bar ho! yay!


Royal HO! Technically a Royal Concubine, but still a ho nonetheless.


rich HO! She had an affair with a rich dude, who apparently has an affinity for barrels of soapy water. Don't mind those censors, there is NO nudity in the game, it's just close. I didn't make the pic, so there ya go.


She was a Cabaret Dancer once.. not too bad I guess.


Here's a big one: Divorcee! What big aspirations, Princess. "I wanna be a divorcee when I grow up!" is that even a profession?


Now, this isn't really a bad profession, but it's funny. She became a baby maker! Yep, she just goes around shootin out kids and taking care of them. Though, its less cool to say "nursemaid".

Okay, now we get into the REALLY bad professions:


Bondage Queen! Your Princess administers discipline in bars and taverns! She even kills a guy.


High Class Prostitute: a ho for rich people.


Normal Prostitute: a ho for everyone.


She became a Crime Boss once. Sadly, she never married.


The PRINCESS OF DARKNESS. Yeah, remember that guy you killed at the first of the game to save the kingdom? He was the Prince of Darkness. You have to make her reeeeely evil to get this one.

And that's just a sampling. Theres probably 50 different endings you can come up with.

The bottom line:
Princess Maker 2 is a great game, and if you're into the sims, or you're into RPG's or into both, you'll probably like it.

Pros:
- So many stats you can't keep track of them in your head.
- So many endings that you can't neccessarily purposefully get the one you are looking for.
- Good choice of school classes and jobs breaks up the tedium.
- A variety of sub-quests and secrets to unlock.
- Your princesses appearance changes with age.

Cons:
- Dated, it's a DOS game. It'll run on Win XP, but without sound. you can still play the music with winamp though.
- Sprites aren't detailed. In the combat sequences, or any sequence with side-scrolling action your princess looks like she is 10, even if shes 17.
- Measurements are in centimeters.
- Japanese definitions of "attractive" my 5'7" daughter had to be 91 pounds before she was considered "attractive" That's just crazy.
- Princess appearance does not change wether she is a fat hunchback or a supermodel, she always looks the same. Tech limitation of the era.
- Lack of variety of random events. Most of them are "I challenge you to a duel" or "the princess was naughty and bought this useless item from the pawn shop"

I hope that one day, someone makes this game with present-day technology.. with 3d graphics and even more variety of events.



Wil Wheaton is no Boy Genius
Submitted Monday, October 20, 2003 - 11:52:41 AM by Klaitu

Wil Wheaton, the ever-hated Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation once quit his job on the pupular, syndicated, weekly TV series to "pursue his movie career".

Since Wil Wheaton really has no movie career even 12 years later, I guess it's safe to assume that this was a bad decision. Ever since, Wheaton has made guest appearances in TNG, but most fans pretty much overlook him. In fact, if it wasn't for Levar Burtons influence, Wheaton wouldn't even have been in Nemesis.

But aside from all that, Wil Wheaton is a hard-core Californian democrat.

http://gallery.wilwheaton.net/albums/avon3day2002/IMG_0170.jpg

Halliburton is a well known worldwide driller of oil, and I assume he's "giving it the bird" because he's a confused kid and thinks this will somehow make the enviornment "greener".

Perhaps more ironically is that the GASOLINE that powered the wheatonmobile to get him to Halliburton, and indeed the OIL which keeps the Wheatonmobile's engine frictionless more than likely came from Halliburton.

So, Wheaton uses the very thing he protests on order to protest. I duno, to me this is like putting up a poster that says "No posters" or appearing on TV to denounce television.

Fark got ahold of it, and now you can see Wil Wheaton flipping off just about everything.
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=688799



Homeworld 2
Submitted Monday, October 20, 2003 - 11:29:32 AM by Klaitu

Heydo! I recently tried out another new game, Homeworld 2 by Sierra. It's a RTS game set entirely in space. Like any RTS game, you have units that collect resources which you use to build units that go out and smoosh the enemy.

Homeworld 2 has some innovative features that are unlike other RTS's I have played. First, there are no "bases" everything is a spaceship, which means everything is capable of moving. Secondly, although there is only one kind of battlecruiser you can build, you can add different special components to them so that each one is unique. You might add a hyperdrive and a cloak, or you might add a fire control tower and a research lab. It's up to you.

The map system is also 3D as in Length, Width AND Height. you can travel above or below your enemies if you want to.

Unfortunately, the game has some drawbacks:

1. There are only 2 playable races
2. There are only 20 different kinds of ships or so
3. Camera controls are clumsy and complicated

Overall, Homeworld 2 is a good game. If you're into RTS there's no reason you won't enjoy it. Be forewarned though, the single player campaign is haaaaard!



Woah! News Bullets
Submitted Monday, October 20, 2003 - 11:11:47 AM by Klaitu

Been busy, but heres some bits to tide you over!

http://www.mausland.de/
Indiana Jones game! Yay! Wait till you get to level 2.

http://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/8407.htm
Britney Spears treated fans to the show of a lifetime Friday night - tearing her tight-fitting tank top off at three different clubs in less than three hours

i especially like how the article refers to britney as the "pop tart" hahahaha!

http://money.cnn.com/2003/10/17/news/companies/pamela_kfc/index.htm?cnn=yes
Former "Baywatch" star and animal-rights activist Pamela Anderson has sent a scathing letter to KFC accusing it of abusing millions of chickens, and is urging a consumer boycott of the fast-food franchise.

The best part is that KFC dosen't actually HANDLE live chickens, they buy chicken that is ALREADY DEAD.

Anyways, I'm still kinda busy so I'll see if I can find more stuff later on.



A Public Service Announcement
Submitted Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 1:41:40 PM by Klaitu

There's a potentially croppling security problem with Internet Explorer 6 that can cause you to download virusses.. or worse.

Go to http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com ASAP and install your critical updates!



Episode 3 News
Submitted Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 12:31:44 PM by Klaitu

The nerds over at TF.N have been busy pulling the strings on their master nerd spies.

George Lucas is a crafty devil.. or is that just "The Devil" but anyways, he's filmed alternate versions of several scenes so that nobody really knows what's going to happen in the movie. Here's the nerdspy report:

Let's put it this way... Padme's ultimate fate is still unknown. Lucas covered BOTH scenarios during filming and left some things open for change for the pickups next year if need be. And this was actually pretty easy. It doesn't really affect the rest of the story much at all, because either she dies... or everyone thinks she's dead (besides Bail & Co of course) and she lives out the rest of her life in tragic anonymity. It will all come down to Lucas' final decision on whether or not he wants her to die within the context of EP3 itself. And my contention is unless he intends of ammending that scene in ROTJ, she'll survive EP3. Either that or, like I said, one of the dumbest little plot holes ever is born.


Imma have to stop reading TF.N, they have some killer spoilers on there, and not even I want to know what's going to happen. Not in that much detail.



2 days of News Bits!
Submitted Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 12:24:48 PM by Klaitu

Hooray! I know I didn't update yesterday, but no worries, I am here now!

Farm Football Hooligans:

Five football players at Bandys High School are on in-school suspension after a llama was found dead and four sheep had been painted at the school's Future Farmers of America barn.

http://newsobserver.com/nc24hour/ncnews/story/2951655p-2708214c.html

Englanders bref STANKS!

Dog beats man in breath test
British men, women warned after toothpaste maker’s survey


http://www.msnbc.com/news/980824.asp?0cv=CB20

"The Bird" is officially legal in Texas. No word on the Double Deuce:

Giving a fellow motorist the finger may be rude, but it's not necessarily a crime, an appeals court said in throwing out a man's conviction.

KISS was SHOT:

A former guitarist for the glam rock band KISS has been shot and wounded near a popular Sunset Strip bar in West Hollywood, Calif.

http://www.nbc4.tv/entertainment/2558387/detail.html

Are you worried about unsightly asteroids impacting your homeworld? FRET NOT! Buy your own asteroid tugboat!

http://www.msnbc.com/news/980685.asp?0dm=C12PT

If your repair guy takes 2 years to fix your VCR, get a new VCR, don't wait for the old one, ok?

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/7oys/101503_7oys_vcr.html

I find the new Japanese Jeep (or is thet Jeepenese) strangely disturbing and attractive at the same time.


http://www.carkeys.co.uk/NE008068.htm

Microsoft to consumers: Okay, maybe Windows does have a couple flaws.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=581&e=1&u=/nm/20031015/tc_nm/tech_microsoft_security_dc

Man stabs other man in theatre. Victim was putting feet on the back of his chair and talking on his cell phone. Finally, score one for the good guys!

http://www2.bostonherald.com/news/local_regional//stab10152003.htm

Here's a little some some for the ladies:

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/men/about/spc/0,,284402_541268,00.html

Now, I'm sorry girls, but singer Meatloaf will no longer sign your boobs, or your bum. He just won't do it. Get over it already! Stop crying!

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/10/07/1065292590370.html?from=storyrhs






Superhero Free Time
Submitted Tuesday, October 14, 2003 - 2:07:47 PM by Klaitu

Well, here's another photoshop fun thread from fark. This time they asked what superheroes do when they they aren't saving the world.
















News Nuggets!
Submitted Tuesday, October 14, 2003 - 1:53:21 PM by Klaitu

I know you missed them, but I been busy! Let's get to the action:

The Pledge of Alliegance could be unconstitutional, critics say that in violated the principal of "seperation of church and state". This is stupid, because every single monetary unit we have says "in God we trust" on it.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=558&e=1&u=/ap/20031014/ap_on_go_su_co/scotus

Was Ameila Earhart really abducted by aliens and brought to the Delta Quadrant where she was cryogenically frozen with a Japanese guy? Well, they think they've found her grave on some pacific island.

http://www.guampdn.com/news/stories/20031013/localnews/442241.html

In Austrailia, it's illegal to train your dog to do the Nazi Hitler salute... and here I would have never thought of making a law against that.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,7564044^1702,00.html

Here's a wedding: Spriger style. A dispute over the bride's garter belt leads to a full-on brawl that lands 4 people in the hospital.

http://www.app.com/app2001/story/0,21133,831360,00.html

"We're sorry we ate your pastor, we were hungry and didn't know any better"

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=79&art_id=qw1066116240322B212&set_id=1

The Top 16 worst 16 Nintendo Game Endings. The List includes Mike Tysons Punch-Out and Batman. Screenshots! Warning: Foul Language.

http://sleeping-monkey.com/index.htm

You can now have yourself cloned, despite the fact that nobody has actually successfully created a human clone.

http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/international.cfm?id=1134402003

Buy your own witch Barbie so your little girl can learn spells and hexes and turn Ken into a toad. You know, because Barbie is too man-centric.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2955865362&category=48926

Did you catch Agent Smith's license plate in The Matrix Reloaded? It reads "IS 5416". Check this out:

http://bible.gospelcom.net/bible?version=KJV&passage=Isa+54:16



Resident Evil
Submitted Tuesday, October 14, 2003 - 1:33:38 PM by Klaitu

Great game, but completely insane nonetheless.

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-10-13&res=l



Everquest still sucks, but they have a lot of money
Submitted Tuesday, October 14, 2003 - 1:29:33 PM by Klaitu

You probably don't know anything about the upcoming game "Lords of EverQuest" and that's okay, I don't blame you. Everquest is like a mathematical formula.. algebra so that you can replace the word "EverQuest" with "Crap" and you would have the exact same game.

Anyways, They've gone and made an EverQuest spinoff called "Lords of Cr--er. Everquest, which as I understand it is a Real Time Strategy game. There will apparently be voice in it as well. Who are the voices?

Fairuza Balk - You know her as Mercedes from Vice City
Hudson Leick - Xena's Callisto
Ron Perlman - The Reman Viceroy in Star Trek: Nemesis
John Rhys-Davies - Gimli the Dwarf/Sallah
Katey Sagal - Peggy Bundy
Dwight Schultz - A-Team's Murdock / Star Trek's Barclay
Michael T. Weiss - You know him better as "The Pretender"
Claudia Black - Farscape's Aeryn Sun
Kate Mulgrew - Captain Janeway

Here's a quote from Claudia Black:

I got a phone call from my agent saying, "You wanna get paid?" (laughs) But I tell you what. Art is about truth. If you're in the presence of a true artist, then what you get is the doggone truth. And they said "We're gonna cut you off our books unless you take this job." So I said, "Alrighty! I love Lords of EverQuest! Lords of EverQuest, get me some of that!"


You can read the whole article (that features most of the actors above) on The Devil.. err.. I mean Gamespy.



Teen Wolf vs. Lost in Space
Submitted Saturday, October 11, 2003 - 10:38:04 PM by Klaitu

You all read about that nonsense where WB bought the rights to produce Teen Wolf into a TV series.. well, WB also just bought the rights to Lost in Space. This, according to an article in Variety:

"The new version of LOST IN SPACE has found itself a home on The WB. The froggy network won the right to broadcast the updated version of Irwin Allen's sci-fi family adventure by ponying up more than $2 million bucks. The pilot was written by former BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER writer Doug Petrie and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE 2 helmer John Woo's production company, Lion Rock Productions, is also involved. Woo will likely direct the pilot episode.

The new LOST IN SPACE will stand on its own and not be a direct connection to the 1997 New Line Cinema movie or the 60s TV show. While the show will still be about a futuristic family from the year 2097 that gets lost in remote outer space, there won't be a mischievious Dr. Smith character in the group (but there will be a family robot.) Any chance we'll see shiny silver jumpsuits? "




Jedi Academy
Submitted Saturday, October 11, 2003 - 4:24:45 PM by Klaitu

Lots of buzz about Jedi Academy, so I checked it out and was not disappointed. This is the latest installment in the "Jedi Outcast" series of games. It's very much like Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast, except you can customize your character, choose your lightsaber hilts, and choose to wield dual sabers (or a dual-bladed saber). There are also 2 new gun weapons.

The story is interesting enough to keep your interest, and the mission objectives are not repetitive. Some levels can be maze-like, but they're not too complicated.. and so far, I haven't come to the required "jumping over lava" level that is mandatory in any FPS game (but I am sure there's one in here somewhere).

This time around, You're not stuck as Kyle Katarn. Your name is Jaden Korr, and you can choose your appearance. Anything from Twi'lek female to Rodian. Too bad you cant be a Wookiee. Never seen a wookiee Jedi.

Saber combat is virtually idential to Jedi Knight 2, but the timing is different, and it's hard to pull off the moves if you just came off JK2. There are also "supermoves" which are pretty devastating. I'm still trying to figure out how to do them, but they look really cool.

Level progress in the single player is completely different. It has a non-linear mission system. You get to choose the order of the missions, but it really dosen't have any bearing on anything at all. You still have to do all the missions before you can get to the next part of the story.

Jedi Academy decided to opt for about 20 smaller missions that take maybe 15 minutes to complete, instead of 4 or 5 large missions that take an hour and a half to complete. Whoever thought of this idea is a GENIUS. Mega props out to that guy.

High marks! This one gets a 8 of 10. Two flaws.. the first is that there is no curved Dooku-style saber hilt. For shame! The second is that there are only 3 human heads to choose from. If you're going to implement character customization, you need more than 3 heads.

I recommend it highly. Grab a copy ASAP!



More Smallville
Submitted Friday, October 10, 2003 - 5:00:38 PM by Klaitu

I've been checking out some other Smallville episodes, and I've found that Smallville is sort of like a bug zapper. It draws you in with something compelling, and then it zaps you.

I checked out the episodes "Exodus" "Exile" "Lineage" "Rosetta" "X-Ray" and "Vortex". Rosetta and Lineage are definately the best out of those, the simple fact that there is no kryptonite-powered evil badguy with no motive makes them the picks of the litter.

So, basically I like the "superman" storyline, and I don't really care about who Chloe is dating, or how Lana Lang is feeling depressed today.

The part with Christopher Reeve was proably the single best scene in the whole series (that I have seen) to date. They actually did something to advance the main plot. To my suprise, the music in "Rosetta" was compelling, and based off the original 70's movie score.

I did notice a few oddities about Smallville, though.

- Either the Kents have a propensity for flipping red trucks over, or red trucks totally piss off Jor-El. Jonathan and Martha Kent have been flipped over twice now, both times by Clark's Spaceship.

- Clarks "family symbol" is the Superman symbol, except its got the Ultima Online logo in the middle instead of an S. That's nice and all, but why does it need to be burned into his chest?

- So theres this cave with Kryptonian scrbbled all over the walls.. which means that someone had to go there and scribble them. Theres also got to be some sort of device in the wall that communicates with Clark, yet nobody can find it. They don't explain why the cave is there or anything, they just kinda find it. It's a weak plot device.

- If the cave key and the ship key are the same key, and the kryptonite key works in the cave, then why does the kryptonite key blow up the ship?

I dunno, Smallville is strangely appealing, but except for that Rosetta episode, it's a total letdown.



Thief tries to blackmail Valve
Submitted Friday, October 10, 2003 - 11:09:01 AM by Klaitu

http://www.megagames.com/news/html/pc/h-l2thiefspeaks.shtml

Apparently he's a psycho who is so mad at Valve that he hacked their servers and pulled the Half-Life 2 source code. If he releases the source code, it will likely put Valve out of business. I guess it probably wasn't a good idea to put that source code online, huh?



Why They Make Ugly Cars
Submitted Friday, October 10, 2003 - 11:05:40 AM by Klaitu

Ever noticed that lust about every car made since 1998 is completely dog-ugly and you'd never buy one in a million years? There's a reason why. Yep, Consumers buy lots of ugly, ugly cars.

http://www.msnbc.com/news/978276.asp

VEHICLES THAT MAKE a mark with “extreme” styling — like the Chrysler PT Cruiser and Chevrolet Avalanche — move off the lot faster and generate a significantly higher profit margin than their plain-vanilla brethren, according to a study from J.D. Power and Associates.



Revenge of the Sith
Submitted Thursday, October 9, 2003 - 8:00:47 PM by Klaitu

That's the lstest internet rumor on the title of Star Wars Episode 3. Lucasfilm Limited registered the domain name revengeofthesith.net through Register.com. It might be a ruse, but you never know.



Smallville
Submitted Thursday, October 9, 2003 - 7:50:28 PM by Klaitu

Alright, so I keep hearing good things about Smallville, so I decided to check it out. I pulled the "unaired" pilot off the web and took a gander. Remember that I'm talking about the "unaired" pilot and not the finished pilot (which I have never seen).

The story: you saw it the first time when it was called "Superman: The movie" and you also saw it in "Lois and Clark: the New advantures of Superman". Kal-El, son to a big cheese on Krypton comes to Earth in a space-ark moses style, where he crash lands in a field, smack in the middle of Smallville, Kansas.

Baby Kal-El is adopted by Jonathan and Martha Kent, who raise the boy as their son. In Smallville, Kal-El was "adopted" and given the name "Clark Kent" of course.

Flash forward, and Clark is in high school, knows he's kinda weird (he's super-strong, indestructable, and can run real fast) but he dosen't know why. He also digs a chick called Lana Lang. When he approaches her, he gets weak in the knees and keels over.. but don't think he's a panzy, she just happens to wear a kryptonite necklace all the time.

So, one day Clark is sitting on a bridge.. why? I dunno. A log falls on the road near the bridge.. why? I dunno.. where did it come from? I dunno.. but darned if teenage Lex Luthor dosen't drive his porche over the log, smack into Clark, and into the water. Clark saves Lex's life, and the two become chummy.

Clarks dad then tells him he's an alien. He takes it pretty well.

In the middle here, there's some subplot about Lana having a boyfriend, and this boyfriend dosen't like Clark.. and oh yeah, theres a psycho coma patient who can fling lightning bolts out of his hands that escaped. He wants to kill everyone for no apparent reason.

Well, Clark has to save his friends (who are at a homecoming dance) so he flings electro-boy into cars, walls, etc.. until finally electro-boy electocutes himself and for some reason, no longer wants to kill people.

I have several problems with Smallville:

1. The soundtrack is horrible. In the pilot episode alone, there are 7 teenybopper songs, including some Limp Bizkit stuff. It's not that I hate teenybopper music, but it plays at inappropriate times.. and its so loud that you can't really hear the dialogue. Since this is the unaired pilot, I can assume they fixed the soundtrack prior to broadcast, because they also used instrumentals from "Unbreakable" and "While you were Sleeping".

2. It bugs me about the character Lana Lang. First off, her name is wrong, its actually Lana LANE, like Lois LANE though the two are not related. Secondly, Lana Lang is presumably Japanese, or oriental, but the actress who plays Lana Lang is not, or at least not that I could tell.

3. When Clark lands in Smallville, asteroid chunks land with him. The meteorites are presumably hunks of Krypton from when it exploded. One such hunk hits near Lex Luthor and blows his hair off. Yeah. That's all it does.. and it dosent like rip his hair out, the meteor somehow shaves his scalp clean. Convienient.

4. They have a tradition in Smallville where someone on the football team gets put on a cross in a field and is left to die every year. Not only is this implausable, but it also makes no sense. The point of humiliating someone is to put them where people see them.. but the jocks strap up the nerds in the middle of nowhere. One such person is electro-boy, who is struck by a kryptonite meteorite while tied to a cross.

5. Everyone in Smallville (and not just in the pilot) gets some sort of super power from Kryptonite. Electro-boy is put in a coma, and when he awakes, he's got electro-zapping powers. He also dosen't age, and they say "thats because he was in a coma". It's really too bad that people DO in fact age while in comas.

6. "A local _____ finds kryptonite _______ and an accident occurs which gives him/her the superpower to _______" This is the plot for every single episode. They inhale kryptonite with athsma inhalers, they wear it as jewelry, they hold it while being struck my lighting.. there isn't a single episode that DOSEN'T involve Kryptonite in some form or another.

7. This episode was poorly written, especially for a pilot episode. It's like they wrote an episode of "Beverly Hills, 90210" and crammed some Superman stuff in there where they could.

8. Since when is Metropolis in Kansas? We know Metropolis is the closest major city ro Smallville.. but Kansas? I've been to Kansas, and there is nothing there.

Smallville had some good points too:

1. The actors, while in serious need of a haircut (in supermans case) do a really good job. I had no problems believing that they knew what they were saying.

2. The Special Effects weren't avoided like so many shows do. When electro-boy zaps people, you can see the electricity. When a meteor hits, you can see the dust clouds and such.

3. It's an interesting aspect that Clark dosen't know he is an alien at first.

Overall:
The series premise rates 5 of 10. This isn't a show about Superman, this is a teen drama that has Superman lore (incorrect superman lore) thrown into it. Though it is waay better than Buffy the vampire slayer ever thought of being, it's practically the same show, just with better actors.



Six Degrees of Craziness
Submitted Tuesday, October 7, 2003 - 1:11:28 PM by Klaitu

So, I'm looking up at the new CBS webpages (which are exactly like the old ones, except the new ones are powerered by flash). So I click onto JAG and I'm checkin out the bios of the people.. and you wouldnt believe what I discovered.

Firstly, you got Lt. Commander Manetti.. the "southern belle" japanese chick who was a spy for the SecNav, right? Turns out, she was the original Ivonova in the Babylon 5 pilot. You remember her, don't you? She also guested in Quantum Leap and Seven Days.

You might think you would remember the name Zoe McLellan, but you'd be suprised. Zoe plays Petty Officer Coates on JAG, but did you also know she was the female lead in Dungeons and Dragons? Oh yeah, I didn't know that.. and perhaps even more impressive is that she played Logan St. Crois in Sliders.. as you recall, Logan was Quinn's archnemesis. She was also Crewman Tal Celes, who you will remember as one of the 4 crewmembers on Voyager who had never been on an away mission. Crazy go nuts!

By far the most unique resume, Karri Turner, who plays Harriet on JAG is also the voice of Kathy Lee Gifford on South Park.. how strange is that?

Patrick Labyorteaux plays Bud Roberts on JAG, but he was also a villian in Lois and Clark, and he was the voice of Flash Thompson in the Spider Man cartooon (the good one that was on fox).

Scott Lawrence is Sturgis Turner on JAG, but you might know him better as DARTH VADER! That's right, Sturgis is the official voice of Darth Vader in the video games. Bet you didn't know that!

None of those compares to David James Elliott. The star of JAG once was a guest star on "Captain Power and the soldiers of the Future". Yeah, you heard me. Ouch. It gets worse. You probably don't remember, but there was an episode where Volcania creates an "evil" Captain Power, who tricks refugees into getting out in the open so that Soaron can digitize them. That Evil Captain Power is none other than... David James Elliott.

And By the way, Captain Power was written and developed by none other than J. Michael Strazynski.. the creator of Babylon 5.



Informational tidbits!
Submitted Tuesday, October 7, 2003 - 12:45:05 PM by Klaitu

"SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! Word to your mother!" The Macho man has a rap album.

http://www.machoman.com/

Train vs Bicycle, who will win? It's todays "duh" article. BETTING ENDS!!!

http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/20031007p2a00m0dm001000c.html

Remember how Roy (of Sigfried and Roy) got mauled by a Tiger? PETA is not happy about that.

http://www.nynewsday.com/entertainment/nyc-etpeta3484426oct07,0,995768.story?coll=nyc-flash-headlines

There's a coffee company called the "Bad Ass Coffee Company" and I can say "Bad Ass" here because theyre actually referring to the donkeys who haul the coffee beans from the mountains of Hawaii.

http://www.click10.com/food/2535563/detail.html

Hey! 30% off over at Kay-Bee toys because they were false advertising prices. Class Action Lawsuit results in nationwide sale.

http://www.kbtoys.com/help/legalnotice.html?place=bfnt&_e=3f82f&_v=3F82FA89YsQWa430A86A5E20

Sweet! Moroccan teacher clamps down on noisy kids by throwing them out of windows.

http://www.itv.com/news/1478850.html



News Nuggets!
Submitted Monday, October 6, 2003 - 4:54:22 PM by Klaitu

I know you've been waiting for them!

First up, An owners messed up car backfires and catches his dog on fire. The Dog catches his yard on fire.. plains fire along the highway ensues.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&ncid=757&e=10&u=/ap/20031006/ap_on_fe_st/dog_fire

Are you missing your legs? The police have them.
You left them in the dumpster.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20031006-9999_1m6body.html

There were 13 tons of poop on the building.. but they got it all off.

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/news/local/6943200.htm

Science shows Austrailians have really wide buttocks, that's why they're making stadium seats bigger!

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7473900^13762,00.html




Enterprise looks for good actors
Submitted Monday, October 6, 2003 - 1:55:52 PM by Klaitu

In an upcoming episode titles "Carpenter Street" Archer and T'pol go back in time to 21st century detroit. They're looking for a A-list celebrity to play the villian. The episode would air in November.



How to do Church
Submitted Sunday, October 5, 2003 - 2:20:34 PM by Klaitu

Right, so my sister invited me to her church because all her groupies are out of town, and she needed a temp groupie to go with her. Actually, I'd been planning to check it out for awhile, but never really got around to it.. that is, until today.

So the first thing going for it is that it didn't start until noon, which meant I didn't have to get up until 11:25. Major plus there, because I usually fill my mornings with important activities like sleeping on my left side (or sometimes when I want to mix it up, I sleep on my right side). Imagine my suprise when I awoke naturally at 11:20.

Anyways, the second thing going for it was the day itself.. sunny but not hot. The church is in the middle of nowheresville in the country, so it was a nice drive with little traffic and such.. that is until you approach the church.

Because it's in nowheresville, there are no traffic lights, and it was on an intersection, so they had 2 deputy sheriffs directing traffic. See, you got your people from the previous service leaving, and the people arriving for the next service at the same time. Could be a mess.

So, we park and get out, and we're talking to the door, and I'm checking the place out. Their lawn is tiff grass.. you know.. the kind used for the greens on a golf course. Yeah, expensive to have and maintain (you need a special mower for starters). So, I'm thinking the church must have some dough rolling around in there.

We parked and entered on the "kids" side of the building.. you know, for the kids church and all. I took a glance as we went by. I dunno what impressed me more.. the giant hollowed out log entrance, or the giant animatronic touch-screen controlled talking tree beyond it. That was crazy go nuts.

On the other side of the hall from the giant log was the auditorium for the older kids, which has a set in it that looked almost exactly like toon town. It was quite impressive, especially considering the set was 2 stories tall.

Along the way in the hallway was a talking Toucan.. I want to say it was a parrot, but it wasn't. It was a toucan.. like the fruit loops bird.. and it was talking and stuff with it's animatronic mouth. I think it was motion sensitive or sound sensitive or something, because it was only talking when people were near. It's head seemed to track the people as they walked past. Maybe it's motion controlled or something.

Anyways, so then theres a stairstep into this huge bazaar where they've got T-shirts and CD's and DVD's and books and anything else related in any way to the church. It was like Capitalism and Christianity combined. Not neccessarily a bad thing, as something has to pay the bill for the talking animatronic tree.

Then we entered the auditorium and had a seat. The ceiling was an interconnected series of sophisticated lighting rigs.. all computer controlled of course, and the speakers.. wow, they were Bose speakers I believe. Very nice equipment, there was no distortion at all, which is very rare when you have a volunteer sound guy (I was one once, and most sound guys are worthless)

Oh, and there was this giant video screen.. maybe 50 feet wide and 10 feet tall. When we got there, it was displaying a countdown to the beginning to the next service.. in minutes, seconds, and milleseconds.. and darned if that thing werent exactly spot-on correct. When the timer hit zero, the service began like, right then.. there was no delay. I find this amazing because most churches I have been to start early, or late, or whenever they feel like it, so long as its kinda at the right time.

So, first up is this band they've got for their musical worship stuff, apparently its not their regular band, they're rotating bands, so this week it's one from Tulsa. They've got some cool CGI FMV going up on the screen, along with the video of the singer dude (and it's been recoded in realtime by what must be a killer processor) and of course, the words to the music. Those computer controlled lights are going wacky too, and the music is so loud that the concrete floor (with carpet) is vibrating with the bass, yet the definition on the highs is so clear that you can hear the fiddler (yes, there was a fiddler, a bass, a guitar, and drums).

So after 4 or 5 songs, the sermon starts. and its kinda weird, because the sermon's been prerecorded from the earlier service. The preacher guy is still there, of course, but he's not actually on stage and talking (though you wouldn't know it because the auditorium is huge, and you cant see the stage anyways). The weirdness goes away after about 5 minutes, and it's just normal.

Today's talk happened to be on patience, waiting, and humility. I could probably tell you about 70% of the sermon.. I wasn't trying to remember it, but I did for some reason. The guy musta been way good.

The sermon lasted maybe an hour (maybe less) and then after the sermon, there was a prayer and then the church announcements, and the offering taking (they use plated chromium peanut buckets). One thing of note, they were playing the announcements (which are produced like commercials on-screen) and they had one featuring scnees from the matrix.. and the MUSIC from the matrix, as in, loud guitars and drums and stuff. Most impressive. The title was "get reloaded" which I assume is a hip way to say "there's a revival coming up".

Now, whoever is running this whole bag knows their stuff. Everything was meticulously engineered for lasting effect.. everything from the sermon (which comes with it's own fill-in-the-blank notes that you get at the door) to the design of the building itself.

But if you thought all that was crazy, get this: they have a website, and on the website you can get streaming video of any sermon made before 2 weeks ago. Yeah.. STREAMING video, high quality stuff like 500K stuff. You know, the way expensive kind. They offer it on their website for free, you don't even need to put in an e-mail or anything.. just click and go. Oh, and it also has interactive notes that your browser keeps up with while the video plays. It's a pretty nifty piece of engineering.

So, in conclusion.. it's the best church service I've been to in the past 20 years or so. Serious mad propz to those guys.

Oh, and coincidentally, the link is http://lifechurch.tv



You can sell anything on ebay
Submitted Saturday, October 4, 2003 - 10:10:42 PM by Klaitu

It speaks for itself (if it's still up)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2954467977&category=1467



WWE Smackdown 5 for PS2
Submitted Friday, October 3, 2003 - 5:37:50 PM by Klaitu

Alright, laugh all you want. Make jokes. I know you want to! Let's face it, wrestling is pretty comical if not downright silly.. but make no mistake, THQ's Smackdown series of games is the cat's pajamas. I've been following this series since the very first Playstation smackdown game, and they've all been worthy of my time.

Why are the smackdown games so uber? There are many reasons, but I'll just highlight a few:

1. It's not a crazy Japanese beatemup like Street Fighter. Fighting games used to be good until Killer Instinct came along, then fighting games became "who can punch in the 3000 hit combo faster". Smackdown allows you to invent your own combos (none of which are unblockable)

2. You can make your own character. Literally. Name, clothes, body type, moves, taunts, entrance moves, entrance music.. favorite weapon.. you can customize it all, in essence you can build your own fighter and have him (or her) fight the WWF guys. You don't have to pick Ryu and fireball everyone into submission.

3. The matches mean something. In a normal fighter, you beat the crap out of someone until they keel over. You beat them again, and then you move to the next level where you do the same thing to someone else in a different background. in smackdown, if some guy prys your arm out of it's socket, your attacks with that arm will be of reduced power, and you will be able to take less hits on that arm until it heals.. which could be several matches.

4. In a standard fighter, you constantly beat people up.. a different person each time until you get to the "final two" (or just one sometimes) secret boss character that you can't select at the character select screen. At that point, you beat the game, and all is well. In a complex fighter this might go as high as 24 matches. In smackdown you only have to beat the guy once per round.. sometimes you have to beat two or more people in the same round, and you have to fight about 300 matches. Once you've done all that you've unlocked about 1/5th of all the secret junk you can unlock, so you get to play it again.

5. You build your own interaction with the other fighters depending on selections that you choose in the story. For instance, you can choose to beat The Undertaker over the head with a fire extinguisher, but you're gonna make him angry, and he'll come after you later on.

But anyways, the reason I'm telling you all this is because the newest Smackdown game, WWE Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain arrives on the 28th. It's got a lot of features making it better than the previous installments (unlike Smackdown 3 which was a total letdown)

Interested? Read about it on the devil err.. I mean gamespot. Same thing.



Upcoming DVD Releases
Submitted Friday, October 3, 2003 - 4:00:10 PM by Klaitu

Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier will be released on special edition DVD on October 15. ST5, as you recall, is the only Star Trek anything directed by William Shatner. It is also generally regarded as one of the worst Trek movies, though that has nothing to do with Shatner.

Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country and Star Trek: Generations will be released on special edition in February. This will wrap up all of the "Kirk era" and bring us into the "TNG" film era.

The Star Trek: Voyager DVD sets will begin to go on sale in February and continue throughout the year.

So far there's no word on the TNG Era films (First Contact, Insurrection, Nemesis) nor word on any Star Trek Enterprise DVD release.



Television Math
Submitted Friday, October 3, 2003 - 3:49:03 PM by Klaitu

Formula: Take one bad movie from years ago, get one member of the original cast, add hip theme song. Don't bother doing something original, or actually writing a story, you don't need it.

So, what show am I talking about? Am I talking about Smallville? Am I talking about Tremors: The series? Am I talking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Nope!

I'm actually talking about Teen Wolf. You see, Buffy has expired over on UPN, and they need something equally as lame to replace it. all you need to do is follow the magic formula.

Studio Warner Brothers has paid Terry Hughes and Ron Milbauer for a script commitment. If everything goes according to plan, the show could be on as soon as next season.

Expect it to run for a decade or more. That's the WB magic. Getting rich by selling you complete crap.



Oh Wow, that's good
Submitted Friday, October 3, 2003 - 1:51:25 PM by Klaitu

There's a hundred year old DVD version of Wing Commander 4 out there with DVD quality video. When I bought my WC4 from a Norwegian, I expected low resolution video, and I was satisfied with it..

Until I saw this DVD quality DivX from the other version.

Wow.



Bad PETA, Bad!
Submitted Friday, October 3, 2003 - 1:13:26 PM by Klaitu

Every schoolkid knows the people at PETA are completely bonkers. Recently FARK did a photoshop contest that asked people to come up with more accurate PETA ads. Check out some of the good ones:


































Newsbits! Tidbits of news!
Submitted Friday, October 3, 2003 - 1:04:35 PM by Klaitu

It's official! People on reality shows don't just act stupid.. they actually ARE stupid.

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/Entertainment/GMA031003_realityTV_hunter-1.html

Chuck Yeager (you remember him, right) got blown off the runway by a crosswind after landing his plane. "He was embarassed" they say.

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/nation/2134799

In Legal news.. in scotland, you can't fire your housekeeper for being way ugly. Check out this snippet:

the deputy lord lieutenant of the county, described her as a "lollipop with a head about to fall off".

http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/scotland.cfm?id=1089122003

How does grandma stop a robber? By offering him beer, of course. Too bad it didn't actually work.

http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20031003/NEWS/310030375/1060

You know, there was once a time when I thought the Japanese were completely nuts. I still do.. but I've come to realize that the russians are ALSO completely insane.

http://funreports.com/2003/10/01/50271.html

Tinkerbell's been shot down!

http://www.rednova.com/rnprogs/iodgen?k=3&u=99&y=2003&m=10&d=1

Alright, so the British are completely insane as well. That is, unless you need half of a car put inside a greenhouse on your roof.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3153602.stm

Bruce Willis is too old to enlist in the army, but not to old to promote adoption.

http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/1002Willis-ON.html

Things not to put on your resume: "member of 1968 Olympic Hockey team" and "Winner of the Navy Cross"

http://www.sunjournal.com/story.asp?slg=100103warren

"Hey joe, I have this great idea! Let's make the coupons for our pizza store look like parking tickets.. then let's put them on people's windshields!"

http://news.statesmanjournal.com/article.cfm?i=68598

You can buy your own giant Dorito wad on ebay. Really! only 200 bucks!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=2955099801

The British have taken Reality TV to a new level: Live Russian Roulette with real guns! Further proof that the British are completely insane. "The drama dosen't come from the gun, it comes from the excitement of the game" they say.

http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/7020.htm?12

See how 5000 people get to determine how the what the rest of america watches. Apparently those 5000 people are complete morons.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/10/01/DD2959.DTL

When someone steals your car, just go and steal it back. No Sweat.

http://www.sacbee.com/state_wire/story/7516724p-8458871c.html

Limbaugh gets gangbanged: proclaimed a racist and investigated on drug charges in the same day. Wow, he must have said something a little too right on.

http://nydailynews.com/front/story/122839p-110349c.html

Beer saves life. No, really.. it did!

http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7436338^13762,00.html



Review: Raijin
Submitted Thursday, October 2, 2003 - 11:53:51 AM by Klaitu

Not as bad as I had thought it would be, but boy.. that teaser comercial sure made it look like a dog.

Here's the story: Archer and crew need to get some Trellium D. It's the insulation that keeps ships from freaking out in the Delphic expanse. So, they go down to this planet where theres a guy who knows how to make Trellium D (rare) out of Trellium A (abundant).

While down on the planet, the trellium dude tells Archer that he saw some Xindi the other day. Turns out they visited the local sex slave shop where all variety of multi-colored women are for sale. Archer decides not to buy anything.

Then, they're about to go back up to Enterprise, when one of the slaves breaks loose. She wants Archer to help her, so he beats up her pimp and she goes up to Rnterprise with the crew.

SUPRISE! She's a Xindi spy! (as if nobody saw that coming) She had "glowie hands power" which lets her zombiefy people she touches. She does it to Archer, she does it to T'Pol, and she beans Tucker over the head with a vase. Then; she's on the run, but dosen't get far. Archer puts her in the brig.. but her Xindi alien friends are after her.

They somehow force-dock to Enterprise.. how you can dock to a ship without them letting you is beyond me, but oh well. Battles ensue. The Xindi warriors have armor that is, apparently, resistant to EM charges, but not resistant to phase pistols. The Xindi also have a booger gun, it shoots a big green booger that sticks to the wall, and then the booger shoots out little slowie spines that hits the enemy from behind.

Archer manages to shoot and hit one of the Xindi (Malcolm needs to do some marksman courses for his guys) and phlox studies it. Archer tells Reed to study his booger gun. Oh, and Mayweather was trying to follow the Xindi ships, but they got away through some sort of *cough*plot device*cough* vortex.

Overall:
Better than average episode. Very predictable, but not terribly disappointing like the preview would have you believe.



More Everwood Whatnot
Submitted Wednesday, October 1, 2003 - 8:11:23 PM by Klaitu

Another one from Carson's Princess:

In this episode, Amy and Colin's sister Laine go to a college frat party Now keep in mind they are 15 or 16 years old. Amy is introduced to drinking. Bright knew that something is up with his sister, so he asks Ephram to spy on her. When Bright learns what Amy was up to, he treatens to tell Dr. Abbott. Amy disgrudingly leaves the party. She tells Bright that Colin would stilll be here if it wasn't for him. Dr. Abbott's sister decides to return to Everwood after traveling the world. Dr. Abbott wasn't too pleased with that. He tells her he is still upset at her for leaving. He felt that he needed her and she abandoned him. He also tells his mother that he never understood why she (his mom) left for the air force when they were little. Dr. Brown had a patient who is a 13 year old boy who told him that he was involved in a group sex thing. When Dr. Brown tried to get the other parents involved in getting their kids tested they refused. They said the boy was a liar and even was in counseling for a while. The mother of the boy assured Dr. Brown he was not in counseling for lying. He was there because her and her husband went through a divorce. Later in the episode , they come back and the boy has been beat up by the group of children. The parents decide to have their children tested, but on the condition that it will be private. Nina, Dr. Brown's neighbor, finally tells him that her husband left her for a man. I think Nina and Dr. Brown should get together!