January 2006

Space: Above and Beyond
Submitted Monday, January 30, 2006 - 9:25:14 PM by Klaitu

A nearly forgotten hit from FOX, from the days when Sliders and The X-Files was on the air. S:A&B is what you might consider a Band of Brothers in space.

The story follows a squadron of 5 Marine aviators who fight a deadly alien race!

I'd watched the series when it originally came around, and I don't remember it being quite so cheesy. This was back when CGI was in the infancy stages. The acting and stories, though, are really well done.

Of course, the series has problems, but if you're willing to forgive some of them, it can be a quite enjoyable show. I recommend checking it out. You might consider it to be "BSG lite".

Overall Score: 7 of 10

WOW, that's bad: Episode 1
Submitted Friday, January 27, 2006 - 11:34:14 PM by Klaitu

I've recently heard some songs that are so incredibly awful that they simply must be listened to.

You know how some independant music artists will force their musical creations on industry insiders in an attempt to get their name in lights. Well, these songs fall into this category. They were all submitted as a sort of "resume" in the hopes that the budding artist would be able to gain a career in the fast-paced musical industry!

Our first example of this phenomenon is from a man who wholeheartedly believes that God has given him a special gift: the gift of his mouth sounding like a trumpet.

What to do but record a single of your mouth playing the trumpet part in a classic gospel song, right?

Now, at this point you're expecting some guy to be in some song tooting like a trumpet. That's what I expected, but I was wrong. Not only does he sound bad, he sounds absolutely nothing like a trumpet whatsoever. He sounds like.. Mr. Bean or something.

I know, you can't visualize this. The good news is, you don't have to. Here you go!

Believe me, this is an experience that you cannot comprehend until you experience it for yourself.

http://ds180.net/junk/wowbad1.mp3

Another Opening Night
Submitted Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 11:39:55 AM by Klaitu

I've got to apologize to Carson here, I didn't make him a movie poster. I had a nasty morning and I don't feel too great.

One consolation, however, is that OMG Ninja! The new BLOCKBUSTER from Gabe Productions has finally rendered and is available for viewing!

All I can say is OMG Masterpiece!

As always, please Right Click and Save this baby, as streaming it off my server is bad karma.

http://ds180.net/junk/omgninja.wmv

My Secret Shame
Submitted Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 12:20:05 PM by Klaitu

So, where have I been the past week or so?

Playing.. a game. A.. MMORPG.

Okay, okay, so I've been playing World of Warcraft. The last time I played WOW, it was in beta, so since I'm playing now, I think I'll update my last review.

1. There have been TONS of improvements to the game since the beta. One very very important addition is chat bubbles. Those do a whole lot to get me into a game. Without them, it's just a chat room with a game going on.

2. The Sound design on the game is pretty decent, there aren't many rehashed sounds that you've heard before in a thousand games.. except for the bear noises. The bear noises you've heard since Ultima Online times.

3. The graphics are horrible. Human males, for instance, have arms the size of tree trunks, and legs like bird legs. Now, the graphics are a pretty debatable issue, as some people I mention this to go "I LIKE the cartoony graphics". I think those people want to RP a HE MAN cartoon or something.

Anyway, the bad graphics aren't so bad that you don't get used to them. And, as an added bouns, the graphics are so old and dated that my computer can run them smoothly! I get much better performance out of WoW than I ever did with Star Wars Galaxies (which had good graphics).

4. Overall experience is pretty enjoyable. The inherant problems of the system is that it is a grinding game, and there's nothing but PvP to do at level 60 (the maximum). Roleplay in the game is virtually nonexistant.

The game is also super-ultra loot-centric. System upon system is in place to ensure that looting is "fair" (much like communism was in place to ensure that everything was "fair"). It doesn't work so well, but that's hardly a problem if you buck the system and don't care about loot like you're supposed to.

I'll play this game for awhile. The main thing that concerns me is that there really is no way to get involved. There are no communities here, just lots of sheep players.

New Overall Score: 7 of 10

Lost
Submitted Tuesday, January 24, 2006 - 9:28:08 AM by Dana

Dana here again with yet another Show on DVD review!

This time its the show Lost. So far so good as I am half way through the first season.

So here is the major plot. Group of people get into a plane accident and are left stranded on an island. Of course its not a normal island.. its all full of odd things that happen on a daily basis. But the show is a great look at human behaviour. Each episode focuses on the back story of a ceraitn character to explain why they are the way they are, or to explain why they were on the plane.

I can't exactly go into too much detail because, well, I really dont want to give anything away. But if you are looking for a show to kill you time and entertain you at the same time, Lost is a pretty good place to start.

SCORE: 7/10 (keep in mind this could change as the seasons progress)

Lady Trailer
Submitted Sunday, January 22, 2006 - 1:21:39 AM by Klaitu

This is the best movie trailer I have seen in a loooong time!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/ladyinthewater/large.html

Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World
Submitted Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 9:35:13 AM by Klaitu

Recently went and saw this one with Carson and his dad, and I have to say, it was much better than Syriana.

You know that guy that was the voice of Nemo in Finding Nemo? Well, in this movie they send him to find out what makes the Muslims laugh. Turns out that it's drugs. Lots of drugs.

The movie is mildly amusing, but this isn't spectacular. Lots of mild jokes making the movie mildly humorous.

The best thing I learned from going to see this movie is that the trailer for "Lady in the Water" is the best trailer ever made and can I please see the movie, if only to listen to the music.

Overall Score: 5 of 10

Opening Night!
Submitted Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 6:03:32 PM by Klaitu

The time is finally right for me to unleash my very first-ever movie to the public. I know you're excited, so am I.

Keep the Flame Burning
A Trumpet Future production of a Lionhead Studios film

Produced by:
Klaitu

Directed by:
Oscar Cadme-Wards

Music by:
Default Game Music

Starring
Brett Bretterson as Buff McStudly
Tina Repulse as Poppin Buttons
Dirk Phoenix as The Clerginator

Also Starring
Sara Roundbottom as The Pigtailed Navigator
Missy McBossy as Expendable Female Crewmember
Chuck Shanksteak as The Lovable Redshirt
Johnny Gnarly as The Expendable Reshirt
Thick McRunfast as The Impressive Admiral
Bolt Van Der Huge as Pink Alien No. 1
Mister Coffee as Pink Alien No. 2
Dunkin Hineys as Pink Alien No. 3
Jelli Jigglington as Pink Alien No. 4
Archibald Winsingthirst XVI as Assorted Robots
Bum Shapely as Assorted Robots
and
Chuck Norris as The Awesomest Man-Dog Who Ever Lived

The Movies
Submitted Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 4:04:47 PM by Klaitu

Okay, It's gettin WEIRD IN HERRREEE!!

I'm reviewing a GAME called "The Movies". You've probably seen the commercials for it.. you know, since they run the commercial every 5 seconds. I figured I'd give it a try.

The actual gameplay here is much like the Sims. You control stars who have an autonomous AI, and you attempt to fill their needs. Instead of having basic needs like a Sim, these stars have needs like "bigger trailer" or "pay me more money". The game is quite challenging.

There's lots of micromanaging here, a lot like a game of Civilization. Lots of budgets and hiring/firing of studio workers.

The actual "game" part of the game gets pretty old pretty quick, and it's difficult to be good at it.. but the real draw of this game is Sandbox Mode.

The Sandbox mode is like a freeform mode you can play where you don't have to worry about money or your actors.. you just make movies, which is very cool.

The movie-making interface is quite easy to learn, and is pretty comprehensive. The most time learning it is spent on figuring out which animations do what.

In fact, I'm going to make a movie, and I'll post it up here for you to see sometime soon.

If you're interested in easily making fun little stories, then I recommend this one:

Overall Score: 7 of 10

Fantastic Four
Submitted Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 3:56:01 PM by Klaitu

Wow, I can't believe I missed this movie with it came out. I don't know if I would call this thing "theater quality", but it's certainly not a waste of time.

In case you've been living under a Comic Book rock for the last 50 years, the Fantastic Four are a group of scientists who go up into space to examine some cosmic rays. The rays activate their latent X-Factors turning them into Mutants (like the X-Men). The movie doesn't precisely follow that premise, but it's pretty close.

Fantastic Four was in the "beforetime"... basically "before they knew what they were doing" time. So the superhero names here are pretty lame.

Mr. Fantastic. What does he do? He stretches. Why call him Mr. Fantastic, then? Nobody knows. Why not Mr. Bendy, or the Flexinator or something?

The Human Torch. Alright, he's on fire, this name makes sense.. but the Human Torch? There's got to be another name.

The Invisible Girl. Again, descriptive, but she's not a girl, she's a woman.. and I mean, isn't that being just a little obvious?

The Thing. I guess they just ran out of names.

Anyways, while we're on names here, let's talk about the villian: Victor Von Doom... Alright guys, VICTOR VON DOOM.. I wonder who the bad guy is going to be?

Not that these are flaws of the movie, these are old comic book staples here.

But anyways, the movie is pretty good. It covers the origins of the Fantastic Four just as the first Spiderman movie covered his origins. Minor elements of the plot have been changed, but you get the general idea. All the original character plots are here as well. The Human Torch is arrogant and flashy, and the Thing is a tortured soul.

Perhaps the most interesting thing that you can learn from this movie is that none of the Fantastic Four wears underwear. You see, their suits were exposed to the cosmic radiation too, so the suits are invulnerable to their powers. The Human Torches clothes don't catch on fire, for instance.. and the Invisible Girl's clothes turn invisible.

But if, for instance, The Human Torch were wearing underwear, his underwear would catch on fire when he flamed up. If the Invisible Girl turned invisible, her underwear would be visible.. and Mr. Fantastic.. he'd get a mean wedgie.

Yeah, that part kinda creeps me out.

Overall Score: 7 of 10

Matrix: Path of Neo
Submitted Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 3:43:06 PM by Klaitu

Alright, I know I said I dumped it off my list after seeing the stupid ending video.. but I was in a mood to kung-fu some stuff.. and who lets you Kung-Fu like the Matrix?

Apparently just about everybody.

First off, apparently the Path of Neo is frought with poor game controls and abysmal graphics. The controls you can sort of get used to, even though you hit one button, and Neo unleashes like a 15 hit combo.. 13 of which hit nothing because the target died after the second hit.

The graphics, though.. They're not just bad, they're nasty bad. Sure, the kung-fu animations look pretty neat, but the people are all blocky.. and apparently they spent so much time on the kung fu that everyone walks and runs like they got a stick up their butt.

Still, though, it's pretty fun to horse around. It's not a very serious game, you can pass through the levels pretty easily. A lot of times the game will have an area that is obviously designed for gunplay, but it's just a lot easier to run up to the gun guys and throw them into one another.. especially since they put their guns away when you approach.

Not a great game, not even a good game, but mildly entertaining. It's a good one to rent if you've already tried everything else.

Overall Score: 4 of 10

Gamefly rated this one at 7.3, which is way too high (like Gamefly ratings usually are).

Friends: The One with all the Trivia
Submitted Saturday, January 14, 2006 - 3:33:39 PM by Klaitu

Okay, so I guess I can't really blame them. I guess it is a "trivia game". But you know, I just can't bring myself to care about who guest starred in episode number 407, or what the "next line" is.

If you've played Trivial Pursuit: Unhinged, you've pretty much played this game.. except they're all Friends questions.

And I'm pretty sure that nobody likes Friends THIS much. I mean, I like Friends, I'd like to see the rest of the episodes (for some reason they only play the first 3 on TV).

So, I rented this for Carson's brothers wife, who said that she was unable to find it for rent.. apparently it was completely rented out. Quite the mystery. So, I used my Gamefly access and scored a copy. Turns out she had to have it so bad she bought a copy and bypassed the rental process entirely.

So, here's the breakdown. If you are super into Friends.. and I mean SUPER into Friends.. like Star Trek nerd level into Friends, then you will be able to play this game. If you're like me and haven't seen all the episodes and are a casual follower of the show, you'll be lucky to get a single question.

Definately a renter at best, but I'd say pass on most circumstances.

Overall Score: 2 of 10

On a related note, this game has a Gamefly rating of 2.9.. that's almost 3! It seems the Gamefly users (who vote most everything up into the 7's when it doesn't deserve to be there) really don't like this one either.

The Chuck Norris Obsession
Submitted Friday, January 13, 2006 - 8:30:21 PM by Dana

It's like there is a Chuck Norris flu going around!

Be that as it may, please watch this to view Chuck Norris in action.

http://conanvschuck.ytmnd.com/

I really feel sorry for Conan... It will take a team of doctors to put him together again.

And another team of paper makers to fix those cardboard boxes.

Syriana
Submitted Wednesday, January 11, 2006 - 6:53:01 PM by Klaitu

This.
Movie.
Is.
Horrible.

Do you like long, lethargic conversations that you can't understand without an underlying context?

Do you like watching people walk slowly EVERYWHERE THEY GO?

Do you regard suicide bombers as heroes just trying to reclaim their lands?

Then Syriana may be the movie for you!

While this movie doesn't claim to be a "documentary" as other propaganda films do, it is a very preachy film. It tells us the evils of oil companies, who want to do nothing but disrupt the lives of poor, middle eastern peoples. It repeatedly points out that President Bush is solely responsible for all the poor social conditions in Iran. (not even Iraq.. Iran!)

Political mumbo-jumbo aside, the film is just poorly made in itself. It has no soundtrack to speak of. There is no action. The movie is composed solely of exposition scenes, and scenes where people look at each other intensely. There's even a 2 minute scene in an elevator where NOTHING HAPPENS.

And on top of all that, the color is bleached out so that the movie looks as bland as possible.

So, a little personal aside.. I read an interview with George Clooney (who both appears in and is executive producer of the film). Clooney says that this is his best work ever.

How sad would you be if your world view were this bland? A world where nobody is moral, and suicide bombers are heroes? A world where the system exists solely to wreck everyone's lives? No wonder that people like George Clooney are so frustrated and politically whacko. Heck, If I lived in Clooney's world, I would die of boredom.

In summary: Don't go see Syriana, it's the crappiest movie of 2006. I don't have to be psychic for that prediction.. but you don't have to believe me. Go see it.. at your own risk.

Overall Score: 1 of 10

The only reason it isn't lower is because the score won't go any lower.

Here's a Conversation I had earlier in the day regarding this movie:

Lucas: I must go see movie!
Lucas: will return soon
Goldberry: which one?
Lucas: syriana
Goldberry: I heard its pewp.
Lucas: I have no idea what its about
Lucas: Well, its free for me, so why not? hehe

(Some Hours Later)

Lucas: Worlds,
Lucas: worst.
Lucas: movie.
Lucas: ever.
Goldberry: lol
Lucas: the reports of pewp were not exaggerated

Chuck Norris: Toughest Man Alive
Submitted Tuesday, January 10, 2006 - 10:36:16 PM by Klaitu

Why is Chuck Norris the Toughest Man Alive? Some of you didn't believe me, but here I have proof, unconfirmed internet truth that Chuck Norris is the TOUGHEST MAN ALIVE!

- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

- Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

- To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

- Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living daylights out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

- Chuck Norris can satisfy a woman by simply pointing at her and saying “booya”.

- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

- When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

- After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.

- Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

- There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

- When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

- The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.

- Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

- Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the crap out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

- Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

- Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

- A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

- Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is "lucky".

- Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

- As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and united team in professional football history.

- A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

- Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.

- Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

- A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

- At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.

Pandora
Submitted Monday, January 9, 2006 - 4:12:47 PM by Dana

Dana here again, to tell you about this site that has officially blown my mind into next week. I could be slow on learning about this site because for all I know people ahve been using it for years and I'm just under my rock or something.

http://www.pandora.com

Type in a music artist you like
the site will find music that you may or may not know that are the same style that you have interest in.
You can also send your 'stations' to your friends to have a listen as well!

This site is freaky accurate.

An example:

I typed in a band I love called L.A. Guns. They gave me all kinds of new tunes to rock to, but then, in the middle of it all, they threw in an I Mother Earth song. Why is this important you ask? I Mother Earth was my favorite band for YEARS as a teen, and is a Canadian band that really no one has ever heard of. So it is amazing to me that it showed up in my suggested listing.

Ive been playing with the site all day and I'm stunned every time I create a new artist station. Do try it out, it's rad as heck. I'll even listen to your stations if you feel so inclined to send it to someone. (see my addy on the right there.)

Dana, over and OUT!

Version 17.0!
Submitted Sunday, January 8, 2006 - 10:52:15 PM by Klaitu

Look out, here it comes!
Keep the children within reach!
Do not read without the use of protective goggles!
Beware the man-eating cow!

It's Special K version
17.0!
Holy Crap.

17.0 is a lot like 16.0, except the links have been cleaned up, and I installed Dana.. and by "installed" I mean "Begged her for 3 or 4 years until she got tired of my whining and took the bribe".. and by "Begged her for 3 or 4 years until she got tired of my whining and took the bribe" I mean "Finally asked her".

What's coming up in the future? I'm thinking podcasts.. not FROM me, I mean, nobody wants to listen to ME do a podcast, I was more thinking of adding some of my favorite podcasts to the navbar to the right.. who will soon be given a name: Mr. Linkbar.

I'm also looking for more varied talent to write for the site, like Dana. If you think you can handle it, you guys can shoot me a message.

The Office
Submitted Sunday, January 8, 2006 - 9:37:23 PM by Dana

Dana here, with my "Cool New Show To DVD"

The Office came out with it's first season recently, and I went ahead and picked it up this past weekend. The thing that I love about this season set, it that it is only 1 disc, and just a regular DVD case. My poor DVD shelving unit is busting at the seams as it is with all of these collector sets.

The Office was taken off of the U.K version of the same name, and is just as hilarious. And it was adapted from a guy we ALL know and love, Greg Daniels! (Don't know him? The Simpsons and King of The Hill) It stars Steve Carell, (40-Year Old Virgin, The Daily Show) and is done in a mockumentary-style, which as we all know thrills me to no end. (or you may not know, but that's cool, cause you know it now.)

It is a look into the every day goings on in a paper supplies office. I think the fact that the premise is SO boring, it ups the hilarity 10 fold.

We all work with people like this, and we can all somehow relate to the bordum that comes with a cruddy job.

I can't say much more about it without quoting jokes and acting a fool, so please, just go rent it or something, you wont be disapointed! And if you are, then Im afraid you hve no humour. None. And I am sad for you.




no I'm not.


SCORE: 9 out of 10

OMGWTFBBQCOPTER!
Submitted Friday, January 6, 2006 - 12:50:48 AM by Klaitu

TODAY!

Today is January 6, 2006. You know what that means?

Well? Well? Come on! Cat got your tongue?

Oh, You're hyperventilating from excitement! I can't blame you for that. I have to say, I'm pretty excited too.

For those of you who aren't awesome like we nerds, January 6, 2006 is also known as "OMGWTFBBQCOPTER DAY" or more accurately "The day when all the good TV shows come back".

You cool people can just go ahead and stop reading now, the rest of this article may delve you into maximum nerdosity, and we wouldn't want that.

So, nerds, here's some info to whet your whistle! Summaries of the stuff that happened during the "hibernation period"

In General

Michael Shanks (Daniel Jackson) and Chris Judge (Teal'c) recently got together and made a "Women of Sci-Fi" Calendar featuring Laura Bertram (Trance Gemini), Lexa Doig (Andromeda Ascendant), Erica Durance (Lois Lane), Ona Grauer (Ancient Ayiana), Brandy Ledford (Doyle), Rachel Luttrell (Teyla), and Teryl Rothery (Dr. Frasier).

Perhaps a more appropriate name would be "The women of Andromeda and Stargate, and one Smallville chick calendar". I have no doubt that it will make them richer than they already are, however.

If you'd like to contribute to the nerdwank, visit http://www.womenofsci-fi.com/

For the ladies.. there's a men of Sci-Fi calendar coming in 2008. Hurray for you!

Stargate SG-1

- Stargate SG-1 has been picked up for a Season 10.

- All of the cast returns for season 10, and the show has picked up Claudia Black as a regular.

- The new season of SG-1 will have exactly 20 episodes.

- Ben Browder has done a video interview with Gateworld, which you can find by clicking HERE. The interview is in Windows Media Format. There is also a text transcript.

- Robert Picardo (The EMH) will return to SG-1 as Agent Woolsey.

- Amanda Tapping did an audio interview with Gateworld, which you can listen to HERE. A Transcript is also available.


Stargate Atlantis

- Joe Flanigan has done an interview with The Devil, which you can find HERE. (If you don't value your immortal soul)

- Atlantis was renewed for Season 3. The season will have 20 episodes.

- Amanda Tapping will have a recurring role on Atlantis, but the frequency of that appearance is still in debate.

Battlestar Galactica

- BSG was recently named the number 1 show of 2005. Unfortunately, it was named this by Time Magazine. Number 2 on their list was "The Office", so it's not like these people have taste. Still, BSG rules.

- Ron Moore was on the Chase show back in October, when BSG paused. You can listen to that baby right HERE.

- David Eick has completed his Video Blog sequence for Sci-Fi, which features slight spoilers for the season. Video Blogs are available in crappy Quicktime format, or crappy Realplayer format. You can watch them streaming from HERE.

- BSG was Renewed for Season 3. The new season will feature 20 episodes again.

- BSG Season 2 ends with a cliffhanger (Don't they all?)

- The Pegasus sets were bought from Fox Television, who had built them for use in the failed pilot of Lost in Space. Thus, the Pegasus was originally the Jupiter 2.

- The Pegasus sets cost more than a dual-episode budget of BSG would allow. Expect the Pegasus to stick around for awhile.

Battlecruiser Millenium
Submitted Thursday, January 5, 2006 - 12:37:24 PM by Klaitu

I found this little gem last week, and what a find it was! Battlecruiser Millenium is an all-inclusive game of Elite, only with a cruiser instead of you flying in a little po-dunk ship. You've got a crew, and fighters, and shuttles.. you can land on a planet and deploy tanks or miners. Very Smooth.

Battlecruiser is one of those games that is a labor of love for its producer.. a guy named Derek Smart. Unfortunately, he's in a niche market, snd that shows in the game. It has lots of bugs, can't alt-tab, and the controls are unneccesarily complex because of bad ergonomic design.

This is a good game with a thousand little nitpicky annoying bits. In the end, it's worth a try. Especially considering as how it is free.

Get your copy here: http://www.3000ad.com/products/bcm.shtml

Oh, and the system requirements are a 300Mhz processor, so you people with old crappy computers will have no problems running this. (and it doesn't look bad, either)

Overall Score: 7 of 10

Wild Arms: Alter Code F
Submitted Thursday, January 5, 2006 - 12:28:42 PM by Klaitu

A remake of the original Wild Arms game for the PS1.

I never played the original, but from this remake, I can't imagine why anyone would want to remake it.

Wild Arms is an RPG series in (sort of) the style of Final Fantasy and companions. The problem is, Wild Arms has impossible controls. There's really no reason for this game to be in 3d, and it has a similar principle to Diablo or Dark Cloud 2 where the game is merely a series of dungeons from one place to another.

Go here, get key, come back, get prize.

Been there, done that. Pass.

I could go into more detail, but the game is so boring that I really can't work up the energy.

Overall Score: 2 of 10

Stealth
Submitted Thursday, January 5, 2006 - 12:20:02 PM by Klaitu

Otherwise known as "The movie that exists solely to show jets and Jessica Biel's butt".

Here's how it goes down. The Navy has created 3 awesome fighter planes, and they got 3 awesome people to fly them. Now there's a 4th plane being added to the group, an unmanned plane flown by an artificial consciousness.

Taking a lesson from Johnny 5, the AI plane gets struck by lightning and before you know it.. "Johnny 5 alive!!!" "No Disassemble!" except.. it's in the air.

Eventually, it is befriended by the lead pilot, Steve Gutenberg... err.. I mean Josh Lucas. He teaches it the true meaning of friendship, and the two become close friends... just like Michael Knight and KITT!

And that's a good thing, because Jessica Biel has been shot down over North Korea, and she's tripping into mud puddles and sticking her butt out all over the wilderness. Josh Lucas and Johnny 5.. err I mean "Tinman" must rescue her!

Besides being highly derivative, this movie has lots of problems, which I shall list here, because I've been sick and I need to just rip the crap out of a bad movie!

1. The Talon Squadron is made up of the "Best pilots ever" and they all get very special, very expensive planes. When the Squadron is chasing Tinman around, Jamie Foxx is in pursuit. He then proceeds to CRASH INTO THE GROUND.

Call me crazy, but the "best pilots ever" don't do silly things like "Crash into the ground". I mean, the ground is always there, it's not like it's unexpected. Maybe Jamie Foxx temporarily reverted into being Ray Charles again.

2. When Tinman goes AWOL, it's on a program to blow stuff up. To do that, it needs more gas, because it's about to run out. The Navy of the future has huge refuelling blimps running around, and they require codes to activate, so the Navy scrambles the codes, and the AI can't activate the refueller.

So, what does it do? It shoots the end of the hose off with bullets, and the gas flows just fine!

This just makes me mad. Do you own a garden hose? Okay, now imagine you've got the water hose and no water is coming out. If you cut the hose in half, does water magically start coming out then? NO! You have to turn on the faucet, just like a tanker has to pump that fuel down the hose.

3. The Tinman makes a spectacular explosion by igniting all the fuel that is let off by the leaking tanker. Slight problem, Jet fuel is not particularly explosive. It is only unstable under certain situations. If you drop a lit match into a barrel of it, for instance, the fuel will not burn.

I suppose that it's feasible that the Tinman could make it burn, or that the fuel was in just the right state (or that they were using special, magic, future fuel)

4. The Tinman continues to Russia, where it plans to blow up a target that doesn't really exist. The Russian Air Force sends up jets to intercept Josh Lucas and the AI.. but only 2 jets. The AI then calculates their chance of living at 9%!

What are you kidding? You're flying 2 of the most advanced fighters ever made being flown by the "best pilots ever" and you're up against 30 year old planes flown by Russian defense officers.. and your chance of survival is only NINE percent? I think it's time to rethink this policy.

5. When Jessica Biel ejects from her plane, she continues to talk to her mission control while she is in her chair. This isn't possible in real life, but it's the future, so I'll let that slide. On the way down she has to "reset her parachute" so she reaches down and fiddles with a device on her seat. This also can't be done in real life, and even if you had the technology to do that, the forces of ejection prevent you from using your arms anyway.

Aside from all that, she keeps talking to mission control until she hits the ground, at which point she can no longer make contact with them.. for NO REASON. Or rather, for PLOT DEVICE.

6. So Josh Lucas and his robot friend go and rescue Jessica Biel.. who doesn't actually need rescuing, being about 100 feet from the South Korean border at this time. Still, Josh Lucas lands and walks with her over the border.. but WAIT, there's an evil helicopter shooting at them! Time for the AI to save the day.. and get exploded in the process.

So, it turns out that the most advanced fighter and AI in the world gets destroyed by a Soviet vietnam-era TRANSPORT HELICOPTER.

Overall Score: 4 of 10

Illness = No Fun
Submitted Thursday, January 5, 2006 - 11:53:20 AM by Klaitu

Are you missing some snot? Well, I found it. For awhile there I had te snot of ten men.. in my nose!

Now it appears that my adventures in rotten eggland are over, and I can no proceed with entertaining all y'all with my witty antics!

Aren't you happy?

More Chanel News
Submitted Thursday, January 5, 2006 - 11:40:40 AM by Klaitu

I dunno how many people who knew Chanel read Special K, but I'll go ahead and post this anyways.

They've got an online guestbook for you to sign, if you feel so inclined.

http://www.legacy.com/Link.asp?Id=GB16059179X

The Chronicles of Narnia (Game)
Submitted Monday, January 2, 2006 - 1:12:07 PM by Klaitu

We all know movie tie-in games suck. I don't know why I expected that Narnia should be any different, but it's not.

Everything about this game is more or less average. It comes across as being a giant interactive ad for the movie, whihc I suppose it is.

The game features about 4 songs that play repeatedly.. and none of the 4 is actually from the movie.

Graphics are alright. Pretty boring most of the time.

The gameplay is what really hurts Narnia. Annoying gameplay. The controls are not responsive, and the combat isn't particularly refreshing. The game features puzzles that are easy to solve, but actually solving them is a problem, because the AI will constantly kamikhaze whatever character you're playing.. and of course, when an enemy hits you, you're stunned and can't do anything.

The result is a mediocre game that is very frustrating, and ultimately forgettable.

Overall Score: 3 of 10

The Brothers Grimm
Submitted Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 6:05:46 PM by Klaitu

More like.. the Brothers Suck.

Did you like Shakespeare in Love? Of course not, nobody else did, either.. and the Brothers Grimm is pretty much the same. It reinvents a part of history that you didn't care about to begin with.

The movie suffers from Striptease syndrome.. is it a comedy, is it an adventure, is it drama? What the crap is it? Well, turns out that it's like a bad version of Van Helsing.

The only redeeming quality is the acting talent of Heath Ledger. He's so good in the movie that you might not realize that he's in it, which is probably a good thing for his career.

Total pass on this one, not worth the time to watch it.

Overall Score: 3 of 10