Top 10 Video Game Pet Peeves Submitted Tuesday, September 7, 2004 - 12:30:04 PM by Klaitu
Ahh, and now the bad. the darker side of video games is a pretty scary place, and I'm not going to pull any punches, so hold onto your hats, and here we go!
10. Required Perhiperals
More and more, console games require perhiperals to work correctly. They might want you to buy a multitap, which will allow you to play with more than two players. It might be a light gun, a special controller, a hard drive, a network card addon, a keyboard, a headset, or any number of other things. Many times you even have to shell out for special A/V cables if you want an HD output, S-video, or component video.
9. Lousy Games
I'm not talking about games that some people like, and some people don't like. I'm talking about games that are cheap and not produced correctly. Games like "Rune", "The Grinch", and "Psycho". If your playstation game dosen't have sound, maybe you should spend some more time in the development stage instead of releasing garbage to an unsuspecting public.
8. The Gamer "Community"
Oh yes, there is a community of "gamers", and this is who game developers pander to, because they think that this is the only market that they can approach. Unfortunately, there are a whole ton of us on the outside of that community who like games too, but not the crap geared at the idiots in the community.
A typical member of the gaming community: - Is a 17 to 30 year old white male, probably has facial hair - Owns at least one copy of Counterstrike - Holds or attends LAN parties regularly - Is a member at an "Internet Battle Station" - Drinks Red Bull or Bawls constantly - Smokes like a chimney - Emits streams of profanity, especially when losing - Obsessed with sex when not playing video games
While this stereotypical description dosen't include every gamer, these guys are the most populous, and new games are developed with them in mind. Video Games can't be taken seriously until their market is taken seriously.
7. Emphasis on Wealth
Wow, it's as if this one ties right into number 8! Why do video game companies make video games? They do it to make money, and for no other reason. I don't mean to say that there's anything wrong with making money, but there was once a time in video game history when companies took pride in their work. They produced a good product AND made money.
Nowadays if consumers will buy it, they will produce it. It could be bug-ridden and full of holes. It might be released waaay too early with all the planned features not implemented. It dosen't matter. Money is the only objective here.
6. Moronic "Experts"
Gamespy, IGN.. I'm looking at you! My local Blockbuster "gamexchange" guy is also a moron as well. I don't think these guys are really as stupid as they let on, but they cater to that stereotypical group I mentioned earlier. They want you to read their magazines or use their services. The actuality of matters is irrelevant.
An example: The Madden series of games is popular. It's really popular among casual jock gamers. When you read a review of Madden, you already know what it's going to say: "Madden is the greatest football game ever devised by man, and the only thing that can beat it is next year's Madden". They've taken to reviewing the following of the game instead of the actual game itself. That sort of reviewing is misleading and dishonest. If you want to work at like EB, Gamestop, or Blockbuster, you'll get to utter the lines "I love to play Madden". (X-play.. the only decent show on G4Tech actually gave Madden an honest review, so kudos to them).
5. Predominance of First Person Shooters
Ever since Wolfenstein 3d, the First Person Shooter has been the most popular format for every game around. This continually amazes me because, well, what do you do in a First Person Shooter?
You aim your crosshairs at someone and click the mouse.
I'm not saying that FPS's are not fun, but there's no reason for virtually every new game to be a FPS. Give us some variety. Give us a Third Person shooter. Give us a 3/4ths view shooter. Give us a Resident Evil-Style Shooter. Give us a Squad-based shooter. Heck, give us a Tomb Raider shooter.
The way I see it is this: Solitaire. There are many variations of Solitaire. You can deal 3 cards, or one, or two. You can have 12 stacks, 10 stacks, or 8 stacks. You can have the traditional Hoyle cards, or pictures of tropical destinations on the back.. but no matter how many aspects of solitaire you change, you're STILL playing solitaire.
So, it dosen't matter if I'm shooting aliens with a laser gun, or shooting Nazi's with a Garand, or shooting the Viet-Cong with a rocket launcher. I'm pointing, and I'm clicking, and I'm bored.
4. Lack of Originality
This is an aspect of video game production that I don't think I will ever understand. Original games win tons of awards. Awards make consumers and shareholders happy. Happy consumers and shareholders means more money for you, therefore original games mean more money.
Instead of creating something new, I am shooting dragons with magic, killing aliens with machine guns, running through mazes, solving puzzles, and jumping over lava via thin, breakable platforms.
Let's look at "The Sims". No killing aliens, no dragons, no guns, no lava. It's the best selling PC game ever made. Go figure.
3. Megalocorporations
I'm looking at you, Electronic Arts! Now, I'm not going to say that everything that EA does is bad, it's just not great. EA made it big with its sports franchise, and because of this, EA is a streamlined machine. They produce games on a timetable, and if the game isn't actually ready, well too bad, it's shipping anyway.
EA has truly a unique approach to business. EA is such a juggernaut that it just produces so many games that statistically a few of them have to be hits. They're also big on franchise games like the Lord of the Rings series.
Part of the problem: developing games these days is expensive, especially if you want a broad platform release. If you release for PS2, CGN, and XBX together you basically have to program 3 entirely different games that just happen to play in the same way. That costs lots of money, of course.. and EA has loads of money.
EA's mass production of games has led to a lack of standards on the part of consumers. Gamers today expect that they will have to download patches to correct bugs. They expect less-than-stellar graphics. They expect poor designs, poor sounds, and early shipments. So now, when they get their new copy of a game, there is no disappointment, and EA is a few dollars richer.
2. Cartoon Boobs
Okay. I'm a guy, so I love cartoon boobs as much as anyone else.. but come on! Not everyone can wear leather, carry big guns, and have giant cartoon boobs. Nevertheless, the females of most video games meet all three of these criteria.
The first game I can think of that started the cartoon boobs trend was Tomb Raider. Before that point, graphics pretty much sucked. Sure, you had Leisure Suit Larry.. but that was about it. Heck, LSL wasn't even bad in that regard as the cartoon boobs had a purpose for that series.
I'm not saying that cartoon boobs are offensive, but you can sometimes have too much of a good thing. I mean, you might like oreo cookies, but at some point you have to stop eating them and take a break.
There's also the effect that giant cartoon boobs have on women. A woman looks at a video game, sees giant cartoon boobs, and thinks "this is a game for guys". So, if you're trying to play a game with your girl, you have to overcome that hurdle straight off the bat.
Of course, some women are different than others, but I think that in a general sense, you could improve the number of female gamers by offering less cartoon boobs. It's all about being taken seriously in a world where you find video games at the kids table.
1. Communist Pricing
Imagine if you will a world in which everything is the same price, regardless of the quality of the product. A world in which a 2004 KIA and a 2004 Ferrari are the same price. A world where you can have either a bowl of oatmeal, or dine on fresh seafood for the same price.
That's how Video Games are priced. If a video game is relatively new, it WILL cost around $50 bucks. No regard is given to the quality or design of the product in question. So, for your hard-earned money you might be buying a game like Rune, or you might be buying a game like Resident Evil Outbreak.
This problem is further compounded by ignorant people who resell video games, most notably at GameStop and Blockbuster. A Previously played copy of "The Bouncer" without the original box or instruction manual will run you $14 dollars at Blockbuster. Here's the problem: The same game WITH the manual and original box is worth maybe 5 bucks, and that's being generous.
The flipside here is that Blockbuster and Gamestop will give you way more than the game is worth if you sell it to them. Of course, they give it to you in proprietary "gift card" currency, but that's hardly an issue.
So, you smart people are going to start buying off E-bay and selling to gamestop/blockbuster for a profit. Not that I blame you, I'm sorta already working on that aspect. Still, though. Fair pricing for video games is good for everyone.
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