It has been far too long since I have updated the community on the shenanigans of M, I apologize. The Library of Sosaria has been usurping a great deal of my time recently...
Last month, during Lady Silverbrook's Virtue Poetry Contest, M dognapped Lilandra's faithful companion Skattles as the awards were being distributed…
Skattles had been wandering the Magincia Library & Museum while the poems were being read, barking and sniffing at various things. She suddenly froze, awash in tiny sparkling lights, before a great pillar of smoke enveloped her. As the smoke dissipated, all that was left was a yellow crystal on the bricks where she once stood. Before anyone could react, the crystal disappeared and was replaces by a small red book. Lilandra, tailor of Newcastle, was so distraught that she had to be ushered away to compose herself.
The book, titled Injustice, reads as follows:
“From the human came the fey,
see the thief plain as day.
Whilst Justice looks the other way,
she takes your things and has her say.
From the pack she'll nab the stray,
locked in crystal will it stay.
With this poem time's delay,
baiting you has become cliché.
-M.”
As usual, the immediate meaning of the poem was a quandary; however, one can assume that M is taunting as usual. This time, it appears she is taunting the Justicar and the Royal Britannian Kilted Police who are charged with apprehending her. The stray presumably refers to Skattles, and the crystal bit must refer to the yellow crystal that was briefly seen. Why M would take the dog is a mystery, and the method of capture is completely unfamiliar.
Justicar Woodrow Call arrived on the scene and took statements from those still present, vowing to “to capture M, and bring the thief to justice.”
When I caught up with Lilandra, she was collected enough to make a plea for Skattles return, “Please, please, anyone who has seen my baby, save her! I miss her so much!” Unfortunately, she began to cry and quickly became inconsolable. M’s probable goal of causing emotional distress was achieved.
Weeks later, when the EoA Occupation began, Velturus Viaxus placed a sword of conquest in the High Council chamber in the Civic Center. The sword symbolized the Empire’s rule over the lands of Britannia and her peoples. Until last night that is…
The sword was discovered missing by the Empire’s Britannian regent, Baroness Nosfentor. In its place sat a blood red book, contents written in drow, another taunt from M.
Entitled ‘Ultrinnan Viaxus E'trit,’ or ‘Conquering Viaxus Filth’ in Common, the book reads as follows:
‘Bel'la dos whol l' sokoya killian, ol orn lor bwael wun ussta uln'hyrr. Dos ph' fridj 'zil waela xuil dosst yulun 'zil l' rivven! Xun naut talinth dos ph' sreen'aur dal uns'aa. L' charnaggen dal vel'bolen Usstan doer orn'la mylthar tangis' dosst olath xukuthen. Uss tangi, ulnin, Che'el d'Orbb orn zhaun ussta nar'hethi! Goros t'yin, tesso dosst nei ulu ser ilta Lloth ssinssriggin el'lar e'trit doeb d' ussta thac'zilen!
-M.’
Common Translation:
‘Thank you for the pretty sword, it will look good in my lair. You are just as foolish with your prizes as the humans! Do not think you are safe from me. The depths from which I come would devour even your dark hearts. One day, soon, Che'el d'Orbb will know my vengeance! Till then, tell your empress to keep her Lloth loving house filth out of my lands!
-M.’
M’s penchant to taunt her victims will undoubtedly earn her no friends amongst the Empire or its allies. It is interesting to note that the word ‘el’lar,’ meaning non-noble house, is used as a pejorative in this context due to the Viaxus using ‘qu'ellar,’ or noble house, in their title. In essence, she called them “Lloth loving peasant filth…”
When reached for comment, the Baroness was livid at having her authority challenged in such a manner. Grinning maliciously, she coldly stated, “I guess this means we go house to house burning till we find the sword, what a shame....”
The response from the Empress of the Second Empire of Armageddon was quite shocking to this reporter, “Issue a Warrant to have her detained so that she can be properly rewarded for her successful venture in stealing the sword, and slapped for insulting Lloth by a Priestess." Where calls for retribution were expected, Velturus Viaxus only said wryly, “M the Thief a Britannian Patriot... Who would have guessed…”
From a secret location, Acting Chancellor Lionel Alazraham sent his view of the theft via courier, “I don't condone theft of property, but in this instance I must say that I am not particularly angered."
News of the theft seemed to greatly amuse patrons at Kazola’s Treetop Keg and Winery. A few questioned the Occupation government’s ability to lead, while others outright cheered M’s deed. Over a tall glass of cider, local craftswomen Dot Warner commented, “Maybe this M is turning over a new leaf? It’s happened before…”
While it is highly doubtful that M’s theft was altruistic, or even patriotic, it has definitely had an interesting impact on the Occupation. An impact that is undoubtedly far from fully realized.
Abducted dogs and stolen swords, what is M’s motivation? Who IS M? If anyone has any information on M, please contact the RBKP or your ‘friendly’ drow warrior…
Martyna Z'muir, BNN
Britain Post Office as Martyna Z'muir, BRT
Carrier Pigeon #484-154-744
Library of Sosaria: 72* 30'N 23* 18'W